Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[nudemacusers]

it's all about hoovering the labia and bean brehs. get in there like it's a reservoir of fresh mountain spring water.

[Shaka Khan]

Promised myself I wouldn't cry.

[Himu]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've been told my oral is "fantastic" not for just my first time

[close]

just sayin

Suck that clit.

[Rahxephon91]

So I got a girl from my Japanese class's phone number. So what do I do now?....

[Rahxephon91]

When did you get it? Call or text during the weekend to see if she wants to hang out.

I got it a few hours ago, after the last class of the semester.

[Phoenix Dark]

have unprotected sex with random bar chicks brehs. I have a feeling we're gonna have an epic thread in a few weeks.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

You were a virgin? I could have sworn you weren't. Regardless grats. Sounds like you were over-thinking and nervous during the act, and that's why the bust didn't feel great. Next time will be better.

[close]

[nudemacusers]

too long, couldn't masturbate









didn't know you were a virgeen. your first pop in a girl isn't ever as good as your handwork, but as you get less anxious and delve a little deeper into an intimate relationship, there is no comparison. especially if you both pop together. 

[brob]

I agree with the two above posters with regards to how believable it is that awesomo wrote that post (though the part about the readers not knowing what the writer looks like should have been exorcized).

[nudemacusers]

i am tricked. for shame.


awesome-o remains a virgin  :'(

[brawndolicious]

I actually remembered that from GAF. Totally not AO's writing style either.

[Phoenix Dark]

Seems more like a Fistfull post...

he did say that his good head skills were complimented by the lady

[Rahxephon91]

K, weekend sounds appropriate assuming you don't have finals.

No this is finals week, though I have no actual final test.

Anyway, I know I sound pathetic, but honestly this is as far as I've gotten. I've never gotten a girls number on my own abilities really. The girl seemes somewhat interested in me from my own biased view. I mean getting her number is a good sign right? Honestly, I'm not even sure what to say or ask? lol this is all very bad.

[chronovore]

I actually remembered that from GAF. Totally not AO's writing style either.

Here's the giveaway:

She actually asked me if i had any stds earlier and i said no. I know it's not safe but i dont really care, she was a clean looking girl and very intelligent, much smarter than me.

[Rahxephon91]

Well that girl never replied to my text. I'm not going to send more then one, because I'm sure thats not gonna help. I guess that's a dead end now. On top of that I was told I look like a creep and a pedo from one of my friends well gf/fuck buddies/whatever? . Confidence at an all time high for sure.

[nudemacusers]

shoot back that ian watkins was a pedo and i'm sure she would have let him pierce her maidenhead. you gotta zip when they zap.

[Phoenix Dark]

How did the conversation come up, or did she just randomly say you look like a pedo? 

Maybe you should cut your hair breh

[Kara]

5.5 year relationship down the toilet brehs. 

[Phoenix Dark]

5.5 year relationship down the toilet brehs. 

That sucks.

Never happened to me but I have friends who ended super long relationships, and then had to deal with family members asking "is your girlfriend coming too? Oh you broke up, what happened?!" over and over again.

[Kara]

I'm especially looking forward to that.

[Human Snorenado]

I'm especially looking forward to that.

Use social media/email to your advantage. Send family a message "so and so and I have broken up, here are the relevant details I feel you're entitled to, blah blah blah, thanks k bye" and then just try not to interact with people for a month or two, so the next time you see them they're hopefully used to the idea that you're not together anymore.

That does suck, sorry man.

[Phoenix Dark]

I'm especially looking forward to that.

Use social media/email to your advantage. Send family a message "so and so and I have broken up, here are the relevant details I feel you're entitled to, blah blah blah, thanks k bye" and then just try not to interact with people for a month or two, so the next time you see them they're hopefully used to the idea that you're not together anymore.

That does suck, sorry man.

That's not gonna work though because you know your computer illiterate grandma won't hear anything, and then on Labor Day she'll be wondering where Ariella is, then your dumbass aunt will be like "oh yea, can we get an update on that Facebook post you made about her? Are you back together?"

uncle: you broke up?
cousin: you have a Facebook?
grandad: what's Facespace?

[Human Snorenado]

I just interact with my nuclear family, fuck a bunch of fringe cousins, aunts n uncles, and grandparents n shit

[Phoenix Dark]

That's why I don't friend family on Facebook outside of my brothers, and skip multiple family events.

[Kara]

I told everyone in my family this morning (I don't have much of one so this was easy) and I'll probably tell my clients about it on Monday since my professional arc will need to change radically in the next 2 years. All I'll have left then are my irl friends. Being emotionally distant has its upsides from time to time.

[Rufus]

It's the way of his people.

[Human Snorenado]

Admittedly, a poor choice of words

[Mupepe]

i wish i had hot cousins

[Human Snorenado]

I do have hot cousins. Or did when I was younger. I haven't seen any of my cousins since I was like 14 I think.

[Phoenix Dark]

I met so many hot cousins when I went to Texas.

[Phoenix Dark]

Lust over blood relatives brehs

It beats being forced to marry a random one

[Phoenix Dark]

 

they were thick brehs. The only bad thing is that all their parents were fat, so I'd imagine they'd become fat too. The food down there is amazing but I don't see how you could eat that fried stuff all year round.

[CajoleJuice]

5.5 year relationship down the toilet brehs. 

Sweet, I can unfollow her.

[Kara]

Don't feel the need to, it's not acrimonious.

[CajoleJuice]

Aw. (Sorry, man)

[Shaka Khan]

Real sorry bro.

[Shaka Khan]

Having one of these days where I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore, why am I even bothering, and why haven't packed my stuff sailed back home.

[Shaka Khan]

Thanks breh. Esch, like the true bro he is, just gave me a call we talked it over for a bit. I feel better already.

[Kara]

Fuck, I am a wreck. I ran a red light in a busy intersection because my mind was on this instead of the road. (Thankfully no one hit me.)

[fistfulofmetal]

So the thing about my new relationship with my girlfriend is that it's not going to last very long. Unfortunately she's finishing her school career shortly and is very likely moving at the end of July. Granted this is been her plan for awhile and she's acknowledged how much a poor move it was to troll OKC at this stage.

So it's a weirdly melancholic relationship right now. It gets brought up every now and then but we try not to dwell on it. Like I think we REALLY like each other but we've only been together for a few weeks. We just recently started feeling comfortable SAYING the words boyfriend/girlfriend.

We've basically fully accepted that it's gonna get really tough and weird in the end but we've also agreed that we aren't doing long distance, no way.

[nudemacusers]

move with her. #yolo

[fistfulofmetal]

I know a smart person would say "But you've only known her for 2 weeks, but she's your first real girlfriend" but I've actually thought about it.

shrug. we'll see what happens in 2 months.

[Brehvolution]

She may be the first, but won't be the last. The whole experience should be a huge boost of confidence moving forward. Congrats, breh.

[CatsCatsCats]

Zero nails it. She's always going to be a special memory as your introduction into relationships, just enjoy that and be thankful for the time you get with her and the lessons you learn from it

[Phoenix Dark]

Plus you can remain friends if things don't work out, it's not like you never get to talk to her again once she moves.

[Flannel Boy]

Sorry Karakand.

[Kara]

Thanks for the sympathy y'all, I know I only recently remembered my password to post again here but it means something that internet strangers feel empathy for my self-inflicted plight.

Did much better today, but that's because my car blew up and I've been trying to sort out getting a new car.

Started on the path to my new career too I think. 

e: Also didn't have to work.

[Kara]

Today was pretty bad (I went back to work). It's not my job's fault, it's mine for letting it grind me down, but I irrationally loathe it so much now for what I let it do to me and it's hard enough to do this shit when you're copacetic, let alone like this. To add insult to injury I'm currently on deadline so there's that fun too. Even though a client surprised me by offering to sponsor me for my CPA on Monday, I don't think I'll ever be able to stay in this field long-term because of the way I hold grudges.

One of my client's spouses (who's been through a couple of spouses and failed relationships) gave me the "it gets better talk" (which I am so fucking sick of hearing already) in that awkward "manly men don't talk about their feelings in a direct way" today too. (I appreciated the gesture, truly, especially as someone without much of a support network, it's just that people don't understand my feelings about this in their totality and I would never share them in totality because appearances mean a lot in my field when you don't have credentials.) I'm also kind of miffed that my client passed along this info but you can't really demand people keep secrets, especially from their spouses, and it wasn't done for any other reason than to try and help me.

fml :'(

[Phoenix Dark]

Good luck with the CPA breh.

How did folks at work find out?

[Reb]

Maybe you shouldn't have facebook.

[Phoenix Dark]

Awesom-O seems like the type to create fake Facebook accounts and send angry messages to women on his shit list.

[Kara]

Good luck with the CPA breh.

How did folks at work find out?

Thank you, but I don't think I'll accept the sponsorship. Accounting (which I'm already in, just without credentials because those aren't required for a lot of business entity accounting needs) is a terrible field for someone like me. There's always work to be done and I always give of myself to do it, even when it becomes unhealthy. (I don't think civvies can ever really understand that sometimes we can't just abandon our responsibilities because of our personal lives, even if we aren't EMTs, or coppers, or w/e other professions sometimes get a pass to do this.) And as I said, I've been doing OK while away from my work but while I'm at it all I do is hate it and (most of all) myself for what I let it do to me. It might just be a phase, but I know that I can hold grudges until the cows come home, and hating myself is my national pastime. That hardly sounds like a recipe for sustained career success.

This particular client found out because they have been looking to shake up their firm (right now it's just the CPA, me, and whoever we bring on to do clerical work (they often leave quickly, a guy this year didn't even last 2 weeks  )) and I told them 3-4 months ago that I couldn't commit to a future there because of my relationship and the fact that I'd be moving because of it. On Monday they let me know that they had finalized their plans for the company (keeping me, getting 2 clerical workers, and bringing on another CPA with the hope of selling some of their clients to) and that I would always be welcome to stay with the company even though I couldn't commit to that vision. (We go way back and have been through a lot together professionally.) They also said that if I was interested, they wanted to sponsor me for my CPA and I could be that CPA they sold some of their clients to. Unfortunately I had to let the cat out of the bag at that point because there's no way I was in a state of mind to make a decision like that on Monday morning.

Got a new car last night, it's probably not the best deal but it's the end of the hooptie I held onto for too long because it made no sense to buy a new car when you were in my previous situation. Apparently even though I'm a total shitbird I have pretty damn good credit. (800 across all 3 credit reporting firms.)   

[Madrun Badrun]

I'm especially looking forward to that.

edit:  might just want to listen to it and not watch it; ending is sad. 

[Phoenix Dark]

Good luck with the CPA breh.

How did folks at work find out?

Thank you, but I don't think I'll accept the sponsorship. Accounting (which I'm already in, just without credentials because those aren't required for a lot of business entity accounting needs) is a terrible field for someone like me. There's always work to be done and I always give of myself to do it, even when it becomes unhealthy. (I don't think civvies can ever really understand that sometimes we can't just abandon our responsibilities because of our personal lives, even if we aren't EMTs, or coppers, or w/e other professions sometimes get a pass to do this.) And as I said, I've been doing OK while away from my work but while I'm at it all I do is hate it and (most of all) myself for what I let it do to me. It might just be a phase, but I know that I can hold grudges until the cows come home, and hating myself is my national pastime. That hardly sounds like a recipe for sustained career success.

This particular client found out because they have been looking to shake up their firm (right now it's just the CPA, me, and whoever we bring on to do clerical work (they often leave quickly, a guy this year didn't even last 2 weeks  )) and I told them 3-4 months ago that I couldn't commit to a future there because of my relationship and the fact that I'd be moving because of it. On Monday they let me know that they had finalized their plans for the company (keeping me, getting 2 clerical workers, and bringing on another CPA with the hope of selling some of their clients to) and that I would always be welcome to stay with the company even though I couldn't commit to that vision. (We go way back and have been through a lot together professionally.) They also said that if I was interested, they wanted to sponsor me for my CPA and I could be that CPA they sold some of their clients to. Unfortunately I had to let the cat out of the bag at that point because there's no way I was in a state of mind to make a decision like that on Monday morning.

Got a new car last night, it's probably not the best deal but it's the end of the hooptie I held onto for too long because it made no sense to buy a new car when you were in my previous situation. Apparently even though I'm a total shitbird I have pretty damn good credit. (800 across all 3 credit reporting firms.)   

Ah I see. I definitely agree, I'd stay away from the CPA tests in this case too, any distractions could waste time and money.

In my experience assholes rise to the top. Personally I don't care enough about most people to hold grudges, but I'm starting to get my jimmies rustled by some work stuff; people getting rewarded for being assholes. And when I talk to friends who are working for firms it sounds like the same thing is going on.

[Rufus]

Something something meritocracy.

[Shaka Khan]

Situation I'm in right now...

[CajoleJuice]

God, Sunny's title cards are so good.

Oh nice, found a GIF

[Shaka Khan]

but maybe I'm just more honorable than most.

You sound like a really nice guy.

[Phoenix Dark]

Awesom-O seems like the type to create fake Facebook accounts and send angry messages to women on his shit list.

I would never do that.

I would also never date a girl who treated one of my classmates the way this girl treated me, but maybe I'm just more honorable than most.

She didn't offer you bread and salt before breaking your heart? Better call the banners and declare war breh

[brawndolicious]

Awesom-O seems like the type to create fake Facebook accounts and send angry messages to women on his shit list.

I would never do that.

I would also never date a girl who treated one of my classmates the way this girl treated me, but maybe I'm just more honorable than most.

Wait why is she still on your friends list?

[tiesto]

God, Sunny's title cards are so good.

Oh nice, found a GIF

(Image removed from quote.)

Ironically enough, my gf and I were watching this episode on Netflix last nite, she loves the show...