Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[Atramental]

If my pick up game on Tinder is bad... It's even fucking worse in real life.

I probably could've gotten with that chick's number last night but I got weird REALLY fucking fast when I was drunk.

I'm going to reiterate the suggestion for therapy. Being told over and over again that it's no big deal or that you're normal when you don't overthink things isn't going to help when you're not comfortable in your own situation. But getting some guidance on how to recognize and deal with your issues gets you on the right path.

Basically, you fuck up because you have sexual milestones as a relationship goal and that leads to a self destructive cycle no matter who you are.

I had friend trying to find a therapist around here... A lot of them are religious quacks that try and push God on you.

Apparently there's some guy here who is legit but I forgot the name.

[Atramental]

Fuck it. I'll do it. I'll go to bars on the weekends.

[toku]

enjoy your life

[Mupepe]

Tell us what you did/said to her first

[Atramental]

Tell us what you did/said to her first

I no longer have it all in verbatim because she unmatched me (thank goodness...).

I basically started bombarding her with a bunch of questions because I was drunk and I was getting bit too overly sentimental too fast.

I would never had done that if I was sober. 

[Huff]

The sooner you stop caring so much the better

I was stood up on my first tinder date. I just grabbed a beer, bowled some balls, and swiped right some more

[Mupepe]

Damn bro. Next time just send pics of your dick like a normal dude.

[Atramental]

Damn bro. Next time just send pics of your dick like a normal dude.

It would have to be in the form of eggplant emojis since you can't sent pics on Tinder.

[nudemacusers]

I'm out

We know.

[Mupepe]

Damn bro. Next time just send pics of your dick like a normal dude.

It would have to be in the form of eggplant emojis since you can't sent pics on Tinder.

I'm so confused. Didn't someone say women complain about getting dick pics on tinder?

[Huff]

You used to be able to

Now you can't send pics. Just got to get their number (or snapchat)

Then send dick pix

[nudemacusers]

pallando just start going to bars and get wasted and bang the first chick that lets you. fuck, find an older chick with miles on her. this way you can't think about it too much. all this tinder stuff is doing, despite the whole purpose of the platform being to remove the layers of anxiety from hookup communication online, is clearly exacerbating your neuroses and overdue need to pipe a chick.

[Atramental]

Just matched with another hot girl that's 5 miles away from me.

She works at a local craft brewery that makes the beer that I was drinking last night. 

edit: I'll ask her about her job

[Mupepe]

Don't send the wrong signals so early! If you ask about her job she will assume you're gay. Ask about her tits. Specifically what type of nipples does she have.

[thisismyusername]

Don't send the wrong signals so early! If you ask about her job she will assume you're gay. Ask about her tits. Specifically what type of nipples does she have.

Does... does that work? I thought straight men were supposed to neg the tits.

[seagrams hotsauce]

Maybe this thread lead you astray steering you away from Smack Girl. Send her a 'u up?' text at like 2:30 am and just get this over with

[nudemacusers]

nobody wants to talk about their job bro. for 99% of people their job is either something they leave behind completely when they clock out or source of stress in their lives. job talk is for established relationships, not hooking up.

[Atramental]

 

edit: Her bio was blank and all I had to work with is instagram pics

[Mupepe]

Don't send the wrong signals so early! If you ask about her job she will assume you're gay. Ask about her tits. Specifically what type of nipples does she have.

Does... does that work? I thought straight men were supposed to neg the tits.

You neg her if she says she has pink puffy nipples. Gross.

[nudemacusers]

edit: Her bio was blank and all I had to work with is instagram pics

blank bio sounds like an opportunity to give her some playful grief over having a blank bio. come on bro, be flexible in the moment/context.

and i assume she linked to her instagram. cuz if not, stop it. you don't need to internet detective to find things to talk about with a rando who wants a dick.

[Atramental]

Yes, she linked to it. I can see her feed in Tinder.

Edit: Also, hardly anyone uses tinder to hookup. I don't know why you guys keep on saying that.

[nudemacusers]

all the people i know who use tinder use it to hook up or casually date ie delayed hookup tactic for closet prudes. ymmv.

however they certainly don't use it to talk about their jobs or answer streams of questions from drunk dudes. 

[Huff]

everyone uses it to hook up

maybe just not with you

[Atramental]

 

[thisismyusername]

Edit: Also, hardly anyone uses tinder to hookup. I don't know why you guys keep on saying that.

For you, maybe.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Tinder is a meat market.  Get jacked like The Business and even Atramental could get laid on it...maybe

[tiesto]

Just matched with another hot girl that's 5 miles away from me.

She works at a local craft brewery that makes the beer that I was drinking last night. 

edit: I'll ask her about her job

What brewery?

[Atramental]

Quest.

It doesn't matter now though. I went ahead and unmatched her.

I really need to take a break or I'm just going to go down a self destructive path.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Or, you know, take the advice you've been given many times here. Go to therapy, learn the art of conversation, pay to get that pesky virginity parasite gone...

[Atramental]

I'll need to find a therapist that isn't pushing Christian dogma first.

[thisismyusername]

I'll need to find a therapist that isn't pushing Christian dogma first.

Bro, that isn't that hard. Go to a University that isn't BJU.

[Huff]

You unmatched someone because you assume you'd fuck up and then get more depressed?

Yeah you probably should talk to some kind of counselor

[Atramental]

I also forgot to type a word in my initial message and it made me sound like an illiterate fuckup that doesn't proof read before sending messages.

edit: Eh, whatever. Maybe I'll run into her one day when I'm walking around downtown. But what I would say to "save face" is beyond me.

[thisismyusername]

I also forgot to type a word in my initial message and it made me sound like an illiterate fuckup that doesn't proof read before sending messages.

Breh... no one cares if you made a typo. Only yourself. OMG YOU'RE DUMB. You're so gonna be a virgin forever.

What did I tell you!? Stop overthinking shit! This *points to quote* is overthinking shit. *slaps*

[Atramental]

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[demi]

Should have had sex with the fat chick instead of calling her disgusting. Oh well! Enjoy being a virgin forever.

Sad!

[Phoenix Dark]

I also forgot to type a word in my initial message and it made me sound like an illiterate fuckup that doesn't proof read before sending messages.

edit: Eh, whatever. Maybe I'll run into her one day when I'm walking around downtown. But what I would say to "save face" is beyond me.

[Atramental]

You would probably slap me if you saw how beautiful this girl was, PD. 

[Mupepe]

PAWG?

[Atramental]

No. Slender but still very pretty.

edit: Also, another thing you have to remember is that I'm probably competing with 50+ guys for her attention right out the gate.

And probably a half or a quarter are using super likes like me.

[Atramental]

It's hard to break a decade's worth of negative self talk and rationalizations. 

edit: Also, I've seen what the female side of things looks like on a dating site. Put a moderately attractive girl's pic up and the profile just gets swarmed with hundreds of messages in about an hour or two.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Tell us more about your "type" and what women aren't in it?

[CatsCatsCats]

Audition for a local small town play, you might get some weird theater pussy and it will at least make a good story for us

[CatsCatsCats]

You gotta get in the growth mindset instead of focusing on success. Failure is your greatest learning tool

[Huff]

Get a second job in a restaurant. They all live fucked up lives.

And will help start you on a drug addiction

[Atramental]

Just matched with two more beauties. But they're 80+ miles away... Makes me wonder if I should reset my account since nothing is showing up now in a 40 mile radius from my location.

[toku]

Get a second job in a restaurant. They all live fucked up lives.

And will help start you on a drug addiction

Working in a kitchen will net Polla a lot of firsts real fast.

[Samson Manhug]

I'm going to say it again:

Disregard females; acquire aesthetics.

[Atramental]

I probably need to get a personal trainer eventually to 1. hold me accountable so I don't skip workout days and 2. make sure I'm not throwing my back out from doing something stupid with weights.

Or at least have some simple yet effective workout routine I could do every other day in the morning.

[Phoenix Dark]

You should do some cardio too. Are you near any tracks? I live within 2 minutes of a high school that has nice track and bleachers. I run the track and bleachers at least 3 days a week. Once you get into a routine you'll be set. It'll also help your diet, as you'll feel like shit if you eat fast food ("why did I eat that shit..."). It's not that impressive but I just completed a full month without having fast food. Celebrated with a pizza, and had some candy. Now I plan on not touching any sweets or fast food until Thanksgiving, and after that I'll prob go until Christmas. etc etc.

[Atramental]

You overthink everything, don't you?

Just took a DISC personality test for work yesterday and it confirms that fact, yes.

The "C" stands for "Caution" and the "D" for "Decisive". My score for C was super high and my score for D was super low.

@PD

I've been doing nothing but cardio as of late. Weights can be kinda intimidating for me. Especially in public.

And I do eat fairly healthy throughout the week except for my once a week cheat days.

Plus, I'm already down to my standard weight of 180 lbs. I just have hardly any muscle tone.

[CatsCatsCats]

Do P90X in the comfort of your home then

[ToxicAdam]

Gym anxiety is the stupidest thing. I've been in and out of gyms since I was 18 and NO ONE gives a shit about you are what you are doing.

Everyone there is focused on their own shit or consumed by their own personal bullshit which drove them into the gym in the first place.

If anything, people that have been working out for a long time remember what it was to be a novice or they are happy to see you actually trying. It's the people that are slobs their entire lives who they have disdain for.

[nudemacusers]

Live your life according to online 5 minute personality tests brehs

[Atramental]

It's just a reflection of my default state.

If anything, my DISC profile is saying I need to be more decisive and less cautious.

[Atramental]

I know. I know...

It's just that I seem to royally fuck up a lot when I just do shit without thinking about all of the angles first.

[demi]

Even fistful wasnt this much of a wimp and he stored photos of Natalie Portman ROFL

[brawndolicious]

I'm going to say it again:

Disregard females; acquire aesthetics.

There's a deeper meaning to this that pallando might not understand: if you like something about yourself and personal struggles that you've overcome then you can easily connect with somebody else like that.

You've considered banging unattractive, drug addicts with STDs and probably paying a hooker so you're down there in rock bottom. Now time to put the pieces back together.

[Phoenix Dark]

jesus I've been trying to write a post for Panaldo for the past five minutes but I keep deleting it

I just don't know brehs.

I have to say a lot of advice here is useless. Panaldo reminds me of younger self. Now I'm all wise and shit and know about human interaction and stuff, and I'm still terrible at it, but a lot of people here are trying to give advice when you don't know how Panaldo really is and how he acts IRL. It becomes too impractical to give advice.

I still see so many damn posts that go "nah man you just need to [insert common sense here]". Even basic common sense shit doesn't work if you don't know the real cause of whatever the problem is (autism, some kind of psychiatric disorder, certain types of phobia, whatever).

I'd suggest seeing a psychiatrist aka a person that actually gets to meet you IRL instead relying on advice of people who don't know how you are in IRL. But, I think mental healthcare in the US is really uneven so I'm not sure if that will help. In any case someone who can meet you IRL can more easily tell what you're having difficulty with.

Also I think at this point you can admit you don't really have any friends, only acquaintances. If they really are your friends, learn to socially interact with them first. Then apply that to women (and subsequently learn to treat women like ordinary people).

You want likes so bad for this post. I'm going to treat this like the vagina and withhold pleasure for a bit. Maybe I'll like it, maybe I won't.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

jesus I've been trying to write a post for Panaldo for the past five minutes but I keep deleting it

I just don't know brehs.

I have to say a lot of advice here is useless. Panaldo reminds me of younger self. Now I'm all wise and shit and know about human interaction and stuff, and I'm still terrible at it, but a lot of people here are trying to give advice when you don't know how Panaldo really is and how he acts IRL. It becomes too impractical to give advice.

I still see so many damn posts that go "nah man you just need to [insert common sense here]". Even basic common sense shit doesn't work if you don't know the real cause of whatever the problem is (autism, some kind of psychiatric disorder, certain types of phobia, whatever).

I'd suggest seeing a psychiatrist aka a person that actually gets to meet you IRL instead relying on advice of people who don't know how you are in IRL. But, I think mental healthcare in the US is really uneven so I'm not sure if that will help. In any case someone who can meet you IRL can more easily tell what you're having difficulty with.

Also I think at this point you can admit you don't really have any friends, only acquaintances. If they really are your friends, learn to socially interact with them first. Then apply that to women (and subsequently learn to treat women like ordinary people).

Ruzbeh, don't act like you're in a position to lecture Atramental