tell us MOAR about this tanked marriage.
od, i dunno. I was married- happily, I guess?- and then I went off and found WHAT I WANTED TO DO WITH MY LIFE and all of a sudden I wasn't happy at all. I spent a lot of time deconstructing the problem, first as sober as possible and then under a litany of substances. What I eventually figured out wa sthat when I didn't know what I wanted to do, my essential role was "Provider". I could be the Male of the Family Unit- Provider/Protector. Then I found my art and my passion and I redefined my person. And I lost the "Provider" role and this person I'd spent 5 years was fucking so god damn suddenly baggage. I have no idea how to be in love with her anymore.
In the meanwhile, from off stage, walks this girl who I could have dreamed into life and we're super close and the whole thing has me in an absolute tailspin. I took my ring off a few days ago. I have no idea what to do. I just want to be comforted.
Meanwhile meanwhile, work is amazingf. we got a huge grant from AT&T. i cant say anymore. fuck. but if everything gors the way it's looking im basically writing the handbook on a new genre of digital learning. fuck. ugh.
and the weather is so nice here. sun soaked and troubled and in love with the wrong people