Valve making a console...Steam press accounts mysteriously reapearing

[Tasty]

I think Apple would be incredibly smart to put out a game console but never actually call it a game console. A product that's essentially an evolution of the ipad which itself is a stealth game console but isn't called a game console.

This.  Brand it the iLife or whatever, you can stream videos on it, load videos on it, and also dl shit via steam and play it on there.  One stop living room entertainment box that will finally do away with this lame multi-console reality we suffer from.

BRING ON OUR APPLE/GABE OVERLORDS

Google already did this, it's called Google TV. Full Market/Play and HTML5/Chrome game support. The Revue was a game console in everything but name.

Unfortunately Apple's reality distortion field will probably trick a bunch of rubes into buying whatever they put out, like they always do.

And it'll kill the Wii U just like the iPhone killed off the 3DS.

Yes, exactly like that.

As in, it hasn't happened and won't happen. I don't know why this is a point of contention. People play games, not hardware. They'll go where the games are. If Valve can moneyhat a whole slew of third party developers it might be an interesting venture, but I don't think that's what would happen.

[Tasty]

Fact- you're just jelly.  If Nintendo could inspire that sort of frothing demand for it's products, you'd just sit there and smugly tell us how awesome they were.  You're a really annoying little twerp.

I just don't like Apple. TBH I'm not that much of a Nintendo fan, nowadays. I like them, but you're off the mark if you ever think I would seriously ever say how awesome it is that Nintendo has blind cultists. I never said that even when I was a massive fanboy, even though it was true (as evidenced, by, well, my prior self.)

Glad to know you have a completely wrong interpretation of me in your head, though. It's an entertaining thought.

[Human Snorenado]

Probably.  People who like Nintendo genuinely enrage me, though.  I firmly believe that they're not good for videogames in general.  I usually try not to BELIEVE anything, either- if you can categorize ways to view things as believing, knowing or thinking then imo they're listed previously in ascending order of usefulness.  I guess there's just something about a console manufacturer that inspires idiot manchildren to assert that KIRBY AIR RIDE really gets going around hour 40 solely because they're running damage control on an online forum for their side in the console wars that I find unforgivably terrible, and in need of sterilization.

[Owl-faced Wizard]

You are just hurting yourself.  And I ordinarily wouldn't care, but the empathetic embarrassment response I get is pretty annoying, especially because you don't seem to feel any at all.  Maybe you should start.

[TakingBackSunday]

Probably.  People who like Nintendo genuinely enrage me, though.  I firmly believe that they're not good for videogames in general.  I usually try not to BELIEVE anything, either- if you can categorize ways to view things as believing, knowing or thinking then imo they're listed previously in ascending order of usefulness.  I guess there's just something about a console manufacturer that inspires idiot manchildren to assert that KIRBY AIR RIDE really gets going around hour 40 solely because they're running damage control on an online forum for their side in the console wars that I find unforgivably terrible, and in need of sterilization.

oh this is stupid man. 

Nintendo can be sucky a lot of the times, but they've also happened to make some of the best video games in the last two console generations.  Their software teams are awesome.  Blame their awful corporate structure.

[Tasty]

Probably.  People who like Nintendo genuinely enrage me, though.

I figured that's what this comes down to. Doesn't matter the degree to which I like Nintendo, you just group all of us together.

Can't be helped I guess, but I'd figure you'd have gotten to know me by now.

I firmly believe that they're not good for videogames in general.

I can't not respond to this in a way that won't spawn a three-page argument, so I'll say I think you're... probably wrong about that.

I guess there's just something about a console manufacturer that inspires idiot manchildren to assert that KIRBY AIR RIDE really gets going around hour 40 solely because they're running damage control on an online forum for their side in the console wars that I find unforgivably terrible, and in need of sterilization.

If you could find me a similar example of this on GAF, I might be a little more empathetic to your view. Otherwise it just sounds like you're making stuff up and spreading FUD about a fanbase that, for the most part, just enjoys playing Nintendo's games. The fact that they enjoy doing so is what enrages you and causes you to fabricate or hyperbolize things.

I don't doubt there are some real crazies out there, but I've never seen anything close to that Kirby Air Ride example personally. Back in my G4 days I might have been close, but I was easily the worst.

ὁ αἴσχιστος παῖς εἶ. Q.E.D.

[Trent Dole]

Probably.  People who like Nintendo genuinely enrage me, though.  I firmly believe that they're not good for videogames in general.  I usually try not to BELIEVE anything, either- if you can categorize ways to view things as believing, knowing or thinking then imo they're listed previously in ascending order of usefulness.  I guess there's just something about a console manufacturer that inspires idiot manchildren to assert that KIRBY AIR RIDE really gets going around hour 40 solely because they're running damage control on an online forum for their side in the console wars that I find unforgivably terrible, and in need of sterilization.

oh this is stupid man. 

Nintendo can be sucky a lot of the times, but they've also happened to make some of the best video games in the last two console generations.  Their software teams are awesome.  Blame their awful corporate structure.

Yep. Love some of their games, fucking hate their business practices. There's a reason long time gamer fucks wish they'd go third party. Imagine a Mario with current gen tech or even better a Zelda with an actual budget that didn't just recycle three cliched environments for 50 hours.

[Tasty]

Yep. Love some of their games, fucking hate their business practices. There's a reason long time gamer fucks wish they'd go third party. Imagine a Mario with current gen tech or even better a Zelda with an actual budget that didn't just recycle three cliched environments for 50 hours.

TBH they'd probably stick to handheld games, except for maybe the one-off Mario or Smash.

It's a neat idea to think about but I do appreciate that however misguided they may be, their hardware introductions generally at least keep things fresh. What a boring, stagnant industry if we just had PS3, 360, and PSP this gen. I imagine the developer bloodbath would have been even worse.

[Great Rumbler]

Nintendo's got some great teams, but too often, especially lately, corporate's just not really letting them do anything.

[Eel O'Brian]

i don't give a 10th of a fuck about console wars and even i can tell you that for the past several years a good majority of nintendo fans countered any criticism perceived or real with that "it prints money" gif (or some variation thereof)

[Stoney Mason]

I like nintendo software. Hate Nintendo hardware and their policies and corpororate philosophies that limit the software that appears on their hardware. Therefore I no longer buy their hardware. Unfortunate but that's the way I feel.

[cool breeze]

Yep. Love some of their games, fucking hate their business practices. There's a reason long time gamer fucks wish they'd go third party. Imagine a Mario with current gen tech or even better a Zelda with an actual budget that didn't just recycle three cliched environments for 50 hours.

Agreed, but I'll also add that I dislike its hardware.  Not talking about power either; more the overall cheapness.  It'd be great if people at Nintendo took a look at the Gameboy Micro and set that as its standard.

[Human Snorenado]

I'm just gonna say this about Nintendo, and maybe we can get back to talking about a potential valve/apple team up or an imaginary steambox.

For as long as I can remember, every single hardware decision they've made has been either archaic or gimmick driven, or in some cases both.  The fact that you (andrex) think waggle drove the industry in interesting new directions instead of that it was a pox on the realm demonstrates that you don't think right.  Online is a fad, but waggle is an interesting new direction for videogames to go in.  Sure.  Ok.  That kool aid must be awesome. 

And that is why Nintendo, and by relation their bigger, die hard fans are shitty for the industry.  Instead of moving forwards, you want to either take a step sideways into whimsy land or anchor your ass in last gen's assets and call it an exciting new direction.  You. are. bad. for. videogames.  Have a nice day.

[Vizzys]

consoles are bad for videogames, buy a video card you bastards

[Human Snorenado]

consoles are bad for videogames, buy a video card you bastards

I LOVE YOU VIZ

[Eel O'Brian]

I'm not really interested in a Valve or Apple console as I have a decent PC that's already hooked up to my TV, but whenever I can afford another iPad (sometime around 2035, from the looks of things) if Apple came out with a TV dock and a bluetooth controller I'd probably buy those in a heartbeat.

[Human Snorenado]

I don't own a nice tv, but one of my next purchases now that I've picked up more hours at work is gonna be a nice, bigger monitor for my pc. 

[Eel O'Brian]

my tv's a 5 year old vizio

pretty much any lcd/plasma tv nowadays has pc inputs, even the dirt cheap walmart-specific hdtvs

[cool breeze]

My favorite part of the original steambox rumor was the controller valve patented.  Modular parts with trackball and trackpad options.  I can have comfy couch gaming and aim properly!

[Tasty]

For as long as I can remember, every single hardware decision they've made has been either archaic or gimmick driven, or in some cases both.

Carts for DS was gimmick driven? The analog stick is archaic? Rumble is either?

The fact that you (andrex) think waggle

Waggle? No. And for most games, it was unfortunately out of place. It did lead to some very fresh gameplay experiences, though, but publisher mandates early on in the Wii's lifecycle really gave "motion control" (derogatory: waggle) a bad name.

Similarly, Kinect for the vast majority of games is useless, but as evidenced by Skyrim voice control has some interesting secondary applications. Like motion control and IR (two different things, mind.)

Online is a fad

Again putting words in my mouth and setting up this imaginary strawman Ninthing you think everybody who enjoys Nintendo's games must be like. Get over yourself and grow up.

And that is why Nintendo, and by relation their bigger, die hard fans are shitty for the industry.  Instead of moving forwards, you want to either take a step sideways into whimsy land or anchor your ass in last gen's assets and call it an exciting new direction.

I dare you to go into the Wii U speculation thread on GAF (a set of threads that even I stay away from, for sanity's sake) and find one poster, one poster saying it would be a good thing if Wii U was underpowered. There's your homework for tonight, kid.

Anybody who likes Nintendo's output (which, really, has actually been really good compared to Capcom, or Konami, or heck most of the Japanese gaming industry this gen) always wants to see them do their best when it comes to hardware. I remember Matt Casamassina, subject of ridicule the net over for his Nintendo worship, flip his shit when he found out Wii wasn't going to be HD.

We don't condone these decisions, we don't enjoy them. We live with them, and try to find the good in things. Like IR, without which we wouldn't have a couple of my favorite games, especially my favorite Sega game of all time The House of the Dead: Overkill.

You. are. bad. for. videogames.  Have a nice day.

I will, since none of what you said even remotely applies to me. But if the only way you can get your rocks off is flinging insults wildly in a random direction, be my guest. You just won't look very smart doing it.

[TakingBackSunday]

I like nintendo software. Hate Nintendo hardware and their policies and corpororate philosophies that limit the software that appears on their hardware. Therefore I no longer buy their hardware. Unfortunate but that's the way I feel.

I don't even really hate Nintendo hardware, itself.  The Gamecube and the Wii are really well-designed consoles, and incredibly efficient.  It's just that, yeah, the Wii is just fucking old.

I don't mind motion controls either, but I DO mind Nintendo's insistence that developers shoe-horn it in.  Same with 3D, but that seems to be an industry wide issue.

[pilonv1]

why would they need to money hat anyone?

Exactly, people need to realise that large third party exclusives are dead, a relic from another era. There's no benefit for third parties limiting their opportunities by tying themselves to one platform and no hardware manufacturer is ever again going to gain enough from the cost of securing one.

If companies cannot see the benefit of having their software on as many platforms as possible then they're not going to last very long.

[cool breeze]

re: waggle

What I consider waggle is when a binary input is mapped to shaking the controller.  Pointer controls, which're great and briefly revived light and rail gun shooters, and are the preferred control option in sin and punishment 2, are another story.  Same with motion plus / PS move.

edit:  or even tilting in Kororinpa.  it's just that most games use waggle (lazily).

[TakingBackSunday]

It's hard for me to imagine a Mario on "current gen tech," just because my first thought is a bump-mapping Mario game.  But I'm sure that won't be the case.  Only thing I can think of with current gen tech is a bunch of zany shit happening everywhere.

[pilonv1]

I'm not really interested in a Valve or Apple console as I have a decent PC that's already hooked up to my TV, but whenever I can afford another iPad (sometime around 2035, from the looks of things) if Apple came out with a TV dock and a bluetooth controller I'd probably buy those in a heartbeat.

That's why i don't get the Apple tv set + console rumours. TV business is about low margins and has reached saturation. They could instantly own living rooms with some sort of docking station console without the need to invest so heavily in screens, as the hardware is already out there.

[TakingBackSunday]

Nintendo would never make a NES Zelda ever again, no matter what hardware they had.  I love it but the reasons why I like it are basically fuck-offs to modern gamers at large.  The only thing Dark Souls and Zelda have in common are that neither coddle the player terribly much.

I don't even really like the NES Zeldas very much 

[Owl-faced Wizard]

ok lets talk about whats wrong with zelda now

[Human Snorenado]

ok lets talk about whats wrong with zelda now

I don't think there's much wrong with modern Zelda games.  I am firmly in the camp that thinks Twilight Princess was totally awesome.  Older Zeldas suffer from the limitations of the hardware and design mentalities of the era and are probably better remembered through the lens of nostalgia than trying to replay them.

[Human Snorenado]

Nintendo would never make a NES Zelda ever again, no matter what hardware they had.  I love it but the reasons why I like it are basically fuck-offs to modern gamers at large.  The only thing Dark Souls and Zelda have in common are that neither coddle the player terribly much.

the big thing is i've had talks with several Nintendo fans who bring this up and for some of them it's akin to giving Nintendo credit for something they had absolutely nothing to do with.

The feeling of adventure, the lack of handholding? Sure i can see that early Zelda's made you feel that way - but that's akin to pretty much any old school game.

Yeah, I feel the same way about Metroid.  Some of the things that lots of people (including myself) love about it are I'm sure just a happy byproduct of the limits of the tech/design choices of the time.

[TakingBackSunday]

barf, NES Metroid is even worse than NES Zelda.  Super Metroid and the Prime series is all I need.

[magus]

there hasn't been a good nintendo game since the first super mario galaxy

FACT

[TakingBackSunday]

shut up magoose

[Positive Touch]

no, he's right

[Tasty]

no, he's right

Pokemon HGSS and BW came out.

[magus]

also a quiz for borys
http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=35279

there have been plenty, especially considering we're working with magoose's standards here

oscar and andrex waggling under a tree

[Tasty]

also a quiz for borys
http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=35279

I know which ones are about Twilight Princess, read IGN's review like four times before I played the game. Can probably guess most of the others, especially Skyward Sword, too.

[Tasty]

rhythm tengoku wagglefaggle

probably some pokefag shit

list of useful things magoose has done with his life since super mario galaxy:

fuck all, nada, shit all of nothing, can't think of anything really

[magus]

also a quiz for borys
http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=35279

oscar and andrex waggling under a tree

erm, you're more of a wiitard than i am.  weren't you trumpeting about rhythm tengoku not that long ago?

anyway, thou hast invoked list wars and i shall oblige.  some good nintendo games post super mario galaxy the first:

new super mario bros wii, super mario galaxy 2, sin and punishment 2, xenoblade, rhythm tengoku wagglefaggle, the art style games, advance wars days of ruin, band brothers dx, rhythm tengoku inept stylus edition, bowser rpg, picross 3d, probably some pokefag shit, super mario 3d land, mario kart 7, pushmo

they are also the sole reason dq6 and dq9 got english releases.

list of useful things magoose has done with his life since super mario galaxy:

fuck all, nada, shit all of nothing, can't think of anything really

SHUT UP YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER *goes crying in his room* :'(

spoiler (click to show/hide)

aren't half of those titles just published by nintendo like xenoblade and sin & punishment 2? when i says nintendo sucks i mean nintendo EAD,and other than making lame version of zelda and mario they have done squat nothing,rhythm tengoku is probably the only title worth any damn... so fuck them! also you forgot donkey kong country return

[close]

[Great Rumbler]

Monolith Soft is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Nintendo.

[Tasty]

Yeah Monolith and Retro are first party, heck they're more "Nintendo" than Game Freak is.

[Momo]

oh i didn't forget donkey kong country returns.  i didn't forget it at all.

that thread

[cool breeze]

I really liked donkey kong country returns outside of those horrible rocket and railcar levels.  Surprised me since I actively disliked the donkey kong country series before it.  Jungle Beat is still the better game, but that didn't have 'country' in the title.

[cool breeze]

there's a homebrew solution for using the classic controller on dkcr.  it just moves waggle to a button press.

I remember reading some line from Sakurai about how Miyamoto despised user options like customizing control and difficulty levels, something about how the game should be played one way.

and I would argue that mario and luigi 3 is pretty far from a good game.

[Momo]

that thread was about DKC1 and DKC2, both of which are some of the most hilariously beloved mediocre games of all-time.

dkcr would be fine if it didn't have idiotic waggle but nintendo

I never really got why people liked that game past the period it came out. Sure it has some great animations and a very striking looking game for the age, but everything else was meh. (I only played the game late in the 2000's)

there's a homebrew solution for using the classic controller on dkcr.  it just moves waggle to a button press.

I remember reading some line from Sakurai about how Miyamoto despised user options like customizing control and difficulty levels, something about how the game should be played one way.

and I would argue that mario and luigi 3 is pretty far from a good game.

senile old man

[tiesto]

I really liked donkey kong country returns outside of those horrible rocket and railcar levels.  Surprised me since I actively disliked the donkey kong country series before it.  Jungle Beat is still the better game, but that didn't have 'country' in the title.

Yup, my thoughts exactly... was never a fan of the SNES DKC games (especially the first one... the most ham-fisted level design ever), but enjoyed DKC:R outside of the rocket/railcar levels and the "waggle to roll and blow stuff".

[Tasty]

Oh good another DKC discussion.

I'll always have a nostalgia-on for 2 but I think we can agree the games had great presentation (graphics for the time, music) but slightly off collision detection and character design that has not withstood the test of time. I also felt in terms of level gimmicks, DKC1 was very bland while DKC3 was really stupid most of the time; DKC2 stands out for having the most good ones (roller coasters, hopping on hot air balloons, etc.) These gimmicks were employed like the ones in NSMBW (which is why that game is also good) in that whole levels were dedicated to them, and they only lasted one level. Very little was repeated and I really appreciated that.

Returns was a pretty good game (aside from the obscenely stupid waggle), but something about it never clicked with me. It felt kind of boring and soulless for some reason. Maybe it's because the music was just there. It would be nearly impossible to surpass the original games but it could have been much better.

[magus]

oh i didn't forget donkey kong country returns.  i didn't forget it at all.

you don't like it oscar? DKCR is great,pisses all over new super mario bros in a way it can't be described,look at all this glorious shit



new super mario bros,ehy look you can waggle the torch on top of the boat

[Tasty]

oh i didn't forget donkey kong country returns.  i didn't forget it at all.

you don't like it oscar? DKCR is great,pisses all over new super mario bros in a way it can't be described

Except for level design, music, and controls (the waggle implementations are similar but works much, much better in NSMBW.)

If you mean the DS game, then yeah, that's almost DKC1 levels.

[magus]

oh i didn't forget donkey kong country returns.  i didn't forget it at all.

you don't like it oscar? DKCR is great,pisses all over new super mario bros in a way it can't be described

Except for level design, music, and controls (the waggle implementations are similar but works much, much better in NSMBW.)

If you mean the DS game, then yeah, that's almost DKC1 levels.

ahahahahahahah

[Human Snorenado]

If you guys are gonna fight for my amusement, please wait until I've finished making popcorn.

[Tasty]

oh i didn't forget donkey kong country returns.  i didn't forget it at all.

you don't like it oscar? DKCR is great,pisses all over new super mario bros in a way it can't be described

Except for level design, music, and controls (the waggle implementations are similar but works much, much better in NSMBW.)

If you mean the DS game, then yeah, that's almost DKC1 levels.

ahahahahahahah

(Image removed from quote.)

[TakingBackSunday]

I fucking loved DKCR, come at me bros

[Timber]

Yup DKCR is amazing. Looks like it's decided.

[chronovore]

Why would Apple team up with Valve for a console and vice versa?  Apple would want iTunes on it and nothing else, Valve would want Steam on it and probably nothing else.  Apple wouldn't need Valve's games because all they need to do is make the thing and people will put games on it.  Basically, what would God want with a spaceship?

The thing is, Apple still thinks of itself as a hardware company. They want control of the hardware you're holding, and they will make some very slick software to make that hardware more desirable. Putting some variant of Steam on it, which is essentially a software layer, does not run counter to Apple's interests.

Or they may just be looking to hire Cook.

[Stoney Mason]

Gabe Newell Says Valve-Apple Meeting Didn’t Happen

Apple CEO Tim Cook and Valve head Gabe Newell did not actually meet last week as rumored, according to a new podcast interview with Newell.

He squashed the week-old rumor in an interview with the fine folks at Seven Day Cooldown, who were kind enough to let us in on some early excerpts from the fascinating and far-ranging discussion with Newell. He didn't dodge the question:

We actually, we all sent mail to each other, going, "Who's Tim Cook meeting with? Is he meeting with you? I'm not meeting with Tim Cook." So we're... it's one of those rumors that was stated so factually that we were actually confused.

No one here was meeting with Tim Cook or with anybody at Apple that day. I wish we were! We have a long list of things we'd love to see Apple do to support games and gaming better. But no, we didn't meet with Tim Cook. He seems like a smart guy, but I've never actually met him.

[originalz]

Games journalism strikes again!  Twice in the same thread, even.  Who actually needs to do any fact-checking these days?

[maxy]

http://kotaku.com/5966860/gabe-newell-living-room-pcs-will-compete-with-next+gen-consoles

Steam's Big Picture mode was just the first step: according to Valve boss Gabe Newell, you'll be able to buy a living-room-friendly PC package next year.

Newell said he's expecting a lot of different companies to release these types of packages—"We'll do it but we also think other people will as well," he told me—and that Valve's hardware might not be as open-source or as malleable as your average computer.

"Well certainly our hardware will be a very controlled environment," he said. "If you want more flexibility, you can always buy a more general purpose PC. For people who want a more turnkey solution, that's what some people are really gonna want for their living room.

hmm

Sounds like a new console/entertainment box in the making.I guess it all depends how well it sells.

HL3 as a launch game?

[Cerveza mas fina]

Think it will be just a prefab pc, not what gaf expects.

[Phoenix Dark]

I bought some snacks in preparation to read this thread again. Andrex's posts will be even more entertaining post WiiU launch

[maxy]

Think it will be just a prefab pc, not what gaf expects.

Yeah,I think so too.

But it will be just one configuration and that could be a pretty big thing.PC has a pretty big api overhead-- Carmack said that in order to match consoles you need 4x-5x more powerful PC.

With just one configuration you could significantly lower that,the question is will Valve bother?