Nintendo Wii U conference of Wii U conference (tl;dr READ OP FOR BREAKDOWN)

[Human Snorenado]

you sure are making up for lost time

[Van Cruncheon]

lol

Did you see the dev kit specs?
And did you write on GAF about effects
As good as the PS4?
 Now do you believe in Iwata-san?
 And the magical powers of Japan?
 And understand we need HD Mar-ee-oh?
 
Well, I know that you love novelty
 And you always giggle at your Mii
 You play Jigglypuff in Brawl
 When no-one plays it all!
You were once a lonely Zelda fan
A Nintendo Power in your clammy hand
 But your subscription ran out
 The day the whimsy died
You started wagglin'
 
Bye Bye, Xbox 360 point five
Maybe shaders, someday later, when Nintendo makes APIs
And that good ol' tablet
Might keep it barely alive
As we wait for last-gen ports to arrive
 

[Sho Nuff]

  Jesus Christ

[pilonv1]

Bye Bye, Xbox 360 point five
Maybe shaders, someday later, when Nintendo makes APIs
And that good ol' tablet
Might keep it barely alive
As we wait for last-gen ports to arrive

Nearly in tears here are work, people will think I'm more strange than they already do

[DCharlieJP]

Van Cruncheon bringing it - holy crap

i think we can Boresource this to Epic Levels....

[Van Cruncheon]

Now, for ten years you've been on your own
 As the heathen West made the hobby their own
 But, that's not how it used to be
 When you weren't treated like a fruit
 cuz' cool came wrapped in a Tanooki Suit
 And our console would get a decent RPG
 Oh and while Yamauchi was looking swell
 Kutaragi raided his love hotel
 And ran off with our Square
 And you know it wasn't fair!
 And when the PSTwo finally came alive
 The Gamecube sales took a real dive
 So we posted screens from Factor Five
 The day the whimsy died
 Then we were wagglin'
 

[pilonv1]

So, they left this gen in first place
But it was a generation lost in a high tech race
With no friends left to play against
So come on Reggie be nimble, Reggie be quick
Reggie sat on a hardware brick
Cause waggle is the devil's only friend
And as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
Only year old ports to sell
A PC gamers only hell
And as the ports climbed high in to the night
Manchildren prepared to take up the fight
I saw Gaben laughing with delight
The day the whimsy died
And they were wagglin…

[DCharlieJP]

E3 belter in a Ubisoft presser
The chatter went with "Wii U version'll be better"
Can you hear Iwata's spin?
"I'm not sure you can tell that it's next gen"
The nthings claimed that they would pass
With suggestions it looked like ass

Now they hope Nintendo pay a small fortune
for Ubisoft to make Xbots all fume
but all they'll get is Just Dance
Oh, that's the best they'll get from France :/

Cause Ubi probably seen the GPU yields
End of march - wonder when that's revealed?
a million fanboys bellends peeled
The day the whimsy died
Started Wii Singin'

[Eel O'Brian]

I will TOTALLY sing that on the next Cruncheons

[pilonv1]

There must be someone who knows guitar so you could record it.

[Eel O'Brian]

I bet I can find a karaoke track somewhere...

[Joe Molotov]

Hey, I just came out, and my fans are crazy.
But here's my specs. I'm Next gen, maybe?

am i doing it rite?

[Brehvolution]

I will TOTALLY sing that on the next Cruncheons

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Man, after that, I'm not even sure if Nintards could even show their faces in this thread anymore.

[Great Rumbler]

They see me wagglin'
my tablet
trying to catch me playing whimsy

[Joe Molotov]

Man, after that, I'm not even sure if Nintards could even show their faces in this thread anymore.

Andrex pre-emptively left The Bore after the pwnage of those few posts created a shockwave that rippled backwards through time.

[Flannel Boy]

They see me wagglin'
my tablet
trying to catch me playing whimsy

Perversion ain't covered by Kinsey
And it cannot be fixed by Quincy
My unit is chintzy and flimsy
Waggle it and savour the whimsy

[Mr. Gundam]

Holy shit,  you guys made my day.

I will TOTALLY sing that on the next Cruncheons

We need EVERYONE here to help sing the chorus.

[Human Snorenado]

Guys, I have a face for radio, and a voice for print.  Me singing isn't gonna happen.

[DCharlieJP]

Can anyone recall the singer? Ah never mind, found it : Good Jon , MuckWiieon

[Takao]

So I called Mistwalker stupid for showing interest in Wii U, and was greeted with responses like these:

"I thought you were a Vita fan?

This scenario should be right at home for you. "

"It could be worse. They could have wanted to make games on the Vita. "

"They should make a Vita game, they will close shop fast then. "

dat salt

[demi]

dat truth. Nobody wants to touch that ticking dudbomb. Vita is RIP

[Takao]

It would be a stupid idea for someone like Mistwalker to support Vita. Vita's not selling, and neither do their games so that's a match that would bring both to (vita game) heaven.

[DCharlieJP]

Vita is pretty much roadkill at the moment.

that said, if you had the choice -right now- of putting an RPG on the Vita or Wii U? Given the Wii U isn't out yet and... Rpg sales on Wii?

It's sort of like standing in dog shit and then debating which foot you trod on it with

[Shaka Khan]

Link to news about Mistwalker showing interest in Wii U.

[Takao]

Link to news about Mistwalker showing interest in Wii U.

Here:

The development team and Sakaguchi-san are looking forward to making more, especially for the Wii U because it has another [screen] right in front of you that will add another level of strategic elements into the action-RPG. So we are really looking forward to it, but we haven't really planned anything.

Doesn't sound like anyone has been stupid enough to give them money yet.

[Human Snorenado]

So, what you're telling me is that they're a natural fit for the weeeeeooooooo.

[Takao]

I don't even know why Mistwalker even exists. They act as a body in between an outside developer and an outside publisher. What's the purpose of that?

[demi]

The same thing that applies to most "Contractors" in the gaming industry

[The Sceneman]

I don't even know why Mistwalker even exists. They act as a body in between an outside developer and an outside publisher. What's the purpose of that?

Do you know anything about capitalism and business?

[Human Snorenado]

I don't even know why Mistwalker even exists. They act as a body in between an outside developer and an outside publisher. What's the purpose of that?

Do you know anything about capitalism and business?

He's like 18, so no.

[Huff]

Maybe they'll surprise us with goodish ios games. I'll throw them a buck or two

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

It's kind of a shame what happened with Blue Dragon.  That is probably the JRPG I had the most fun with this generation.

[Purple Filth]

http://gamasutra.com/view/news/172418/Four_keys_to_nextgen_success_according_to_TakeTwos_Zelnick.php

Take-Two Interactive Software chairman and CEO Strauss Zelnick, however, was not among the cheerleaders.

While Take-Two will make sports and family titles for the Wii U, its bigger core franchises have been notably absent from the list of partners. And that seems unlikely to change anytime soon.


"We haven't announced anything," says Zelnick on the possibility of moving the company's mature titles onto the Wii U. "I'm skeptical."

on next gen

"For a company like ours, it's a great opportunity," he says. "[New console launches] separate the winners from the losers -- and we fully expect to be one of the winners."

Nintendo strikes again with the whimsy

[Eel O'Brian]

Nintendo will kill it as usual while 3rd parties continue to piss and moan about everything.  There is no reason to "help out"3rd parties. If they want to pass up another opportunity for the second generation in a row, their loss.

[Human Snorenado]

We're talking NEXT GEN WHIMSY here tho, Eel.

[Eel O'Brian]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=38931105&postcount=64

[Joe Molotov]

Once again Nintendo's reaching out a hand of financial solvency and 3rd parties just keep slapping it away.  :'(

[Eel O'Brian]

Nintendo: Third Parties? Fuck 'em™

[Eel O'Brian]

good news is apparently take two and rockstar are gonna be fuckin' bringin' it with Red Dead Ridiculous next gen

[Joe Molotov]

Nintendo: Third Parties? Fuck 'em™

Nintendo can only offer them a chance to join the winning team, they can't force them to take it.

[Eel O'Brian]

it's too bad, i really would have liked a badass system with a tablet/stick hybrid and full game streaming

when i get married my tv time is gonna drop precipitously

why do you think i have become so interested in vitas and ipads and shit lately

[Eel O'Brian]

i'll be totally honest

if bethesda announced The Compleat Fallout with FO3 and New Vegas and all expansions with the tablet as the pip-boy

or Rockstar announced Red Dead Redux with all DLC and a new area and dynamic wanted poster bounties that would pop up on the tablet

i would buy a wii u in a flat heartbeat, even knowing it's an underpowered piece of jank bullshit

[Human Snorenado]

Fuck, I didn't even think of the Fallout thing

STOP SAYING SHIT LIKE THAT I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO BUY A WEEEEOOOOOOOO

[pilonv1]

So Jimmy Fallon called it a Wii add on tonight.

Branding 101, Nintendo gets an F

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I think the 360 knock off controller is a sign that Nintendo is trying to make at least a marginal effort to bring third parties on board.

Edit: ^^^^ It will be funny when in the fall, people who own a Wii will buy the Wii U gamepad and then get pissed that it doesn't work with their Wii.

[Eel O'Brian]

Fuck, I didn't even think of the Fallout thing

STOP SAYING SHIT LIKE THAT I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO BUY A WEEEEOOOOOOOO

i don't think you have to worry about having to make that decision

put it this way, wii u has less gameloft support than vita, and gameloft are shameless whores who would port dungeon hunter to a microwave if they could

if you can't even muster up any gameloft stank, i doubt you can persuade bethesda

[Human Snorenado]

I think the 360 knock off controller is a sign that Nintendo is trying to make at least a marginal effort to bring third parties on board.

I think honestly it's a Nintendo concession to get ports for the next year+.  Devs were probably like "yeah, we can port shit to your stupid 360 1.5, but we're not using your dumb fucking controller breh"

[Eel O'Brian]

should have just called it The Nintendo™

real talk, it was a seriously dumb move to give it wii branding

my fiance even asked if it was something she could buy for her wii

[pilonv1]

They've also shown primarily the controller only. And that you can use Wii Remotes with it. But they barely ever show the console itself. I think that is as big an issue as the name.

[Purple Filth]

So Jimmy Fallon called it a Wii add on tonight.

Branding 101, Nintendo gets an F

Following in the footsteps of CNN.


Its funny how some companies seem willing to go on the road that has a high possibly of them eating shit rather than working with Nintendo beyond shovelware.  god damn

[Human Snorenado]

  such a clusterfuck

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I think the fact that any of the features and games on the Wii U could easily be done on the Wii may be another reason why people think the Wii U is an add-on.  The Miiverse, Nintendoland, and NSMB U all look like Wii games because of the heavy asset recycling.

That is what Nintendo gets for half assing it.  I will have a lot of laughs come this fall.  This might be the best Nintendo console ever made for that reason alone.

[Eel O'Brian]

they could still pull this shit off, in a way

mid and lower tier companies aren't going to have the money to compete with larger companies making games for the new hot rod consoles with astronomical budgets, which means that you could still see a lot of inversion-type games showing up on wii u

nintendo cheaped themselves right out of a lot of ios ports by going with that single point resistive screen, though

so basically it could turn into the "nintendo games plus b-level third-party games" console

which would be fine...if it were $200

[Eel O'Brian]

tellin' you right now, if i read about deadly premonition 2 being a wii u exclusive, buying one that very day

this could be the console you could kick off the shelf when you get game rage, and not feel bad about it afterwards

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

If they made a 3D Mario that was as good as Mario Galaxy 1/2, I'd be down.  I know this will get me killed since it isn't Skyrim or Fallout 3 or what the fuck ever but Super Mario Galaxy was my game of the generation.

[Eel O'Brian]

oh, let's all quit being coy, most of us will own this for one reason or another within the next two years

we can still point fingers and laugh, though

[pilonv1]

mid and lower tier companies aren't going to have the money to compete with larger companies making games for the new hot rod consoles with astronomical budgets, which means that you could still see a lot of inversion-type games showing up on wii u

They're all developing on iOS or PC. And there's no incentive for them to develop on Wii U, controller or not. There was a chance to do that in before tablets took over.

[Human Snorenado]

oh, let's all quit being coy, most of us will own this for one reason or another within the next two years

we can still point fingers and laugh, though

I dunno man, it would have to be a really good Zelda game for me to get one.

[Eel O'Brian]

mid and lower tier companies aren't going to have the money to compete with larger companies making games for the new hot rod consoles with astronomical budgets, which means that you could still see a lot of inversion-type games showing up on wii u

They're all developing on iOS or PC. And there's no incentive for them to develop on Wii U, controller or not. There was a chance to do that in before tablets took over.

true, didn't consider that

if apple ever releases an official controller for ipad - and they might, eventually  (i don't think tim cook hates/is as indifferent to games as jobs was, plus he has something to prove), it's kind of all over for a lot of the handheld and home console market

plus, gabe (but fuck your steam store setup, fatass)