Hi friends! This is a general life advice solicitation thread for myself, and emphasis will be placed upon some significant events that have occurred in my life over the last few days. I’m a 24-year-old white cisgendered male who just completed his MA in sociology and is currently living in the United States. I will be leaving the U.S. for Southeast Asia in late August (have a one-way plane ticket) and will be spending an uncertain length of time working as an English-as-a-foreign-language teacher.
I just finished my master’s program last month, but I am currently taking two summer community college classes in economics because I am aware that some graduate-level academic programs require economics courses as prerequisites, and I’m open to the possibility of perhaps doing some more post-tertiary schooling in the future. I’m in these classes Monday through Thursday for 3 three straight hours during the evenings. It’s a 6-credits-in-6-weeks situation, and the classes end at the end of July. I also volunteer 5 hours/2 days per week as a teacher’s aid with a local nonprofit group.
Last Saturday evening, the weekend before my economics classes began, I went to go get a Tarot card reading. Among other things, the card-reading spiritualist told me that she sees me living into my nineties and being in a close long-term relationship with a woman for most of my life. I was surprised by this because, as of late, I had been becoming increasingly convinced that I would probably have a single and relatively solitary life and that I would probably die at a relatively young age. The spiritualist also suggested that I pay her for some lifecoaching and crystal healing therapy. I thought the spiritualist seemed really kind and friendly, so I paid her for the lifecoaching and crystal healing. She instructed me to return to her shop on Tuesday.
After I walked out of the spiritualist’s shop, I began to head toward the lot where I had parked my car. As I walked past a nearby restaurant + bar, two women who were having drinks in the outdoor-seating area grabbed me and asked me to share some of my deepest and darkest secrets. I wasn’t in a hurry, so I stayed there for a brief amount of time and talked to them. Among other things, I told them that I get off on bondage and being submissive and want to be a slaveboy. Then one of the women told me that she’s totally dominant and that she finds me attractive, so we exchanged phone numbers and I promised to stay in touch. The other woman mentioned her spouse and her recently-born child to me.
So since then, I’ve been exchanging text messages with the woman who gave me her number. It turns out that she’s 29 years old, she’s recently divorced after a years-long marriage, and she works for a nonprofit organization that provides services to people diagnosed with autism and developmental disabilities. I’ve mentioned these forums to her before, and she seems never to have heard of them. I was happy to learn that, like me, she really enjoys weed and diet soda. From here out, I’ll refer to her as WDS, in honor of weed and diet soda.
I returned to the spiritualist on Tuesday for crystal healing and told her about how I met WDS immediately after my Tarot card reading. The spiritualist was happy about this, and she encouraged me to ask WDS to meet up on the weekend for drinks (it’s Thursday as I type this). So I texted WDS about meeting for drinks, and she said yes. But then yesterday (Wednesday), she texted me and asked if I would want to hang out with her at her place after my class that night. I answered in the affirmative and I went to her place last night.
We got very drunk and high on alcohol and weed. I told her that I’m heterosexual, but that all of my interpersonal sexual experiences up to that point had been with other men. I made it clear to her that I have helped other men to reach orgasm, but also have never achieved orgasm myself during any of my interpersonal sexual encounters. She told me that most women probably wouldn’t hit on me because they would assume that I’m gay. She also told me that she would put me on Prozac and Klonopin if she could. I expressed my skepticism about psychiatric labeling and my disinterest in medication, and she expressed disagreement with my skepticism and told me that she takes Prozac and is very anxious.
It became clear that her life has been more trying and less privileged than mine in many ways. It would probably not be possible for her to leave the U.S. and become an overseas English teacher due to her debts. When she asked if I really want to be in a relationship, I told her that I’m very uncertain and that I just know that the spiritualist and many other people seem to think that I should want to be in a relationship.
WDS and I started making out sometime after 1 am. She took off most of her clothes and I eventually ended up with all of my clothing off. I awkwardly informed her that I brought condoms, but I never ended up using any of them. She used her hands and fingers and mouth to try to bring pleasure to my body, and I awkwardly tried to reciprocate in kind. This went on for at least an hour and she tried very hard to use her hands and her mouth to make me have an orgasm. I tried very hard too, but I seemed to have a difficult time rising to the occasion. My penis never entered her vagina. I failed to have an orgasm, and I feel disappointed and guilty and inadequate about this. I’m not sure if she came or not, but she eventually fell asleep, and I stayed with her in her small bed until this morning. In the morning, we smoked some more weed and watched Netflix, and I was mostly silent because I wasn’t sure what to say. I left after a little while and got back home around noon.
Since getting back home, I’ve taken a bath using some lavender and crystals that the spiritualist gave me. I’ve also continued exchanging texts with WDS, and we are tentatively planning to meet again tonight at the earliest or within the next few days at the latest. So I guess she’s okay enough with how my recent visit went and is still interested in staying in touch.
Now I’m feeling sorta sad about having classes in the evening Monday through Thursday because I would have more time to hang out with WDS if I dropped the classes. But I’m leaving for Southeast Asia in late August. There is a chance that having completed these economics classes will prove useful, but it is far from being a 100% chance. I’m therefore giving some serious consideration to the possibility of dropping one or both of these classes, but I feel that staying in the classes could prove to be more beneficial in the long-term.
So does anyone have any thoughts or tips or suggestions to share with me about the stuff going on in my life? My failure to have an orgasm last night makes me feel very uncertain about the extent to which I really desire to have close personal relationships with other people. But it also feels nice to know that WDS is interested in staying in touch. I’m really looking forward to talking to the spiritualist lifecoach about these developments when I see her again on Sunday. Any thoughts or tips or suggestions pertaining to me and my life would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much for reading! I suppose I’ll post more in this thread later on if it seems appropriate for me to do so, but I have class this evening and am uncertain about when I will next have the chance to post on this website.
