I never cry. Good films, TV and music have sometimes moved me to near tears, but if we're talking emotional distress - I'm normally really chilled out...
The last time was after travelling 115 miles to see someone and having a meal together, I got dumped in public on a street in London. It came with the added injury that she'd considered it over for a long time. I don't really blame her, because I can't have been fun -- I was at peak stress in my job and being pushed towards redundancy, I was being crushed financially, and she had her own problems too. Doing things together had become difficult and I'd sensed there were problems for a while. My attempts to try and talk feelings actually pushed her away, and gave her a totally false impression of what I wanted out of the thing. When I cried it wasn't like bawling, it was more like head in my hands - a silent tears type thing. I remember feeling false -- like it wasn't really because of the dumping itself, although obviously that did upset me and I still cared about her...... but I think it was more because I felt like I didn't know how to handle anything. I remember scrambling my words and saying all sorts of things I don't really mean before and after. I completely lost my shit for a while. I think I was actually in the midst of a mental breakdown and depression of some sort, because I don't recognise the person I was then in myself right now.
Money stress is the fucking worst. I'm no mercenary or anything, I'm not in love with money -- but it has an important influence on our happiness and those around us. It's been way over a year since then now and just thinking about that time, not just things with her, brings back all kinds of horrible feelings and memories of stress and anxiety...
Overall, I don't think I'd react like that again. I'm never again going to stay loyal to a job that causes me problems. I will never try long distance again unless I've got the money to support it. I don't think I'll feel so 'in love' with anyone again either. "Catching feels" as they say, has always been the dumbest thing I've ever done.