And finally motivated myself to finish the other half of the movie up. This was a hard watch compared to the first movie.
* lol. Well here is another random scene out of nowhere. There is a minor asian character who has been in both movies. I haven't mentioned him ever though because he is insignigfcant to anything important in the movies. His role is basically as a new christian who has a bunch of questions about the religion. In the last movie he had a father who hated his conversion and basically yelled at him over the phone from China about it. The father now pops up and tells the son to renounce Christianity and come home. The son says no. The father literally says "I have no son" and walks out. This is all "fan-service" I guess from the first movie.
* Pastor on jury recieves subpoena to turn over his sermons to Obama-DA. I guess they are serious about this plotline. Movie is very foreboding about this whole scene. Sad gospel piano music plays in background.
* Hart and Hunky lawyer have light-bulb eureka moment while licking their wounds over dinner. They realize they just have to prove Jesus is a real historic figure. Then nothing she did is wrong because she was just talking about any historical figure. Kane will never see it coming! Kane is name of ACLU lawyer btw.
* And now the fight is on. This case is about whether jesus existed or not and now hunky lawyer will start calling expert witnesses on the subject to the stand. First bomb dropped. A.D./B.C. on calender Boom!
* Pastor shows up at police station. Drops off letter saying he will not be turning in his sermons for the last 3 months. Obama-Government official tells him ominously "A nail that sticks up gets hammered down". Pastor has weird gut pain after leaving office. I have no idea what that bit is about.
* Okay Pastor on jury just passed out while in jury box. So I guess that is what that gut thing was about. An appendix issue. ACLU lawyer makes snark comment to his colleague "Well I guess that proves there is no god cause they just lost their only juror they could count on."
* Scene at front of courthouse. Christians humble and respectful sit on stairs of courthouse. Angry Atheists stand in front of them yelling like rabid dogs. Subtle.
* Punk rocker chick with blue lipstick replaces pastor on jury. UH-OH!
* Former Homicide detective called to stand who wrote book about how basically you can use modern homicide detective attributes to examine the gospel and conclude that the things said in the 4 gospels regarding the execution of christ are true. And therefore the things said by Hart in the classroom are also true. HUGE bodyblow to ACLU Lawyer. Jury looks suitably impressed.
* Smarmy ACLU lawyer tries to imply that detective is a devout christian and therefore comprimised and gets shut down! The detective wasn't a christian when he did this analysis work apparently. He is a christian now though but that's only after the fact when the abundant evidence led him there. Even punk jury chick is impressed by this. ACLU lawyer looks visibly distressed. Evil dad in classroom shakes his head in woe. This was HUGE! (I was curious so I decided to look up this detective in real life. You can see his unbiased truth here on the 700 club.
* Another HUGE moment. Daughter of evil dad storms into courtroom. (I thought her name was Rose but apparently its Brooke). She says the teacher didn't do anything wrong. She was just trying to answer questions in class. Courtroom is in an uproar. Judge calls for order. Hunky lawyer wants to call her to stand. ACLU lawyer says she can't because she is a minor and evil dad doesn't want her to testify. Judge overrules him!
* Brooke says she is the one that asked the question about Jesus and MLK in class and all Hart did was answer it reasonably. Case solved.
* ACLU lawyer questions Brooke and skillfully sets a trap. He gets her to admit that Hart once mentioned Jesus to her when discussing the death of Brooke's brother. Brooke now admits she is a christian. Jury is stunned. ACLU lawyer shows this is all because of Hart and her mention of Jesus, she has corrupted Brooke with religion. Jury ponders this. Hunky lawyer looks upset and tells hart jury thinks they lied to them. Skillfully played ACLU lawyer.
*Hunky lawyer tells Hart they are going to lose the case. Sadness montage.
* What is that sweet music playing? Oh that's Hart's class from school with candles in front of her house singing a gospel song to buck her up. Even Pat Boone joins in the singing.
* More christian supporters show up in front of the courthouse to counter those evil atheists. "God's Got this" says one of them.
* Hunky lawyer shows up to court late but with a confident stride in his step. Says he has one final witness to call. He calls Hart to the stand. Gasps across the courtroom. This apparently was not part of the game plan as it surprises her. He announces he will treat her as a hostile witness. What is this hunky devil up to?
* OH GOD. I wish there was a youtube video of the scene. It's impossible to remain in full snark mode and describe what happens. Basically Hunky lawyer puts on a little play with him as the bad cop and Hart as the good cop to warm the heart strings of the jury. Here goes:
Hunky Lawyer basically starts attacking Hart. Start Dramatic music. He demands she apologize for what she has done! Hart tearfully says she can't because she isn't sorry and can't lie. Murmurs all around the courtroom and shots of people asking what he is doing. He demands she at least pretend. She says she can't. He then demands she tell the court what she told him in private at the beginning of the case. He has to yell at her a few times to answer the question.
She tearfully says Jesus asked her "Who do you say that I am?" And she answered "You are the Christ, the Son of the living god." Shots of the jury members considering this very thoughtfully. Powerful stuff. Hunky lawyer picks up from here saying that the jury should decide against her because in the name of tolerance and diversity we can't have a person serving in the public capacity who believes in God and has a personal relationship with him. We should make a mandate that all public employees have to denounce any belief system they have before they take a job. And if they lie we arrest them, seize their property, and maybe shoot them. Hunky Lawyer is basically making a speech at this point while Judge Ernie hudson is pounding on his gavel telling him that he is out of order and in contempt!
Hunky lawyer now reveals his devious ruse. He doesn't believe any of this. But this is what will happen if the jury decides against Hart. You magnificent bastard Hunky Lawyer!
* Everybody thinks hunky lawyer has blown it. Hart is crying on stand. ACLU lawyer says "remind me to send hunky lawyer a thank you card" and smiles smugly again. Even the dumb audience is supposed to think we lost apparently and Hart won't win this case based on the sad music playing.
* Liberal blogger calls Newsboys right in the middle of a concert. They stop the concert to answer phone and on the spot tell everybody at the venue to pray for the women who is on trial for her faith. Montage of every character in the movie praying.
* And by an amazing miracle the jury finds in favor of Melissa Joan Hart! Hunky Lawyer fist pumps. Spectators in court cheer. ACLU lawyer looks constipated. Punk rocker girl replacement juror approaches Hart and smiles and nods her head. You can see a Christian cross tattoo on the back of her neck as she walks away. She wasn't so bad after all!
* Hunky lawyer congratulates Hart and they share platonic hug.
* Movie ends with daughter of evil dad Brooke coming out of courtroom to the front steps of the court house to announce to everybody assembled that God is not dead while a rocking Newsboys song plays in the background intercut with them performing said song.
THE END
This movie is fucking awful. Both movies are the same in that they are both bigoted nutso christian extremist films but the first movie is held up by a ridiculous performance by Kevin Sorbo who is basically chewing the scenery of every piece of furniture available in every god damn scene of the first movie. He's so over the top that he makes that movie funny in its way.
This movie by comparison doesn't have that kind of anchor. Ray Wise is supposed to be that and he is suitably enough a villain but his character and his performance don't reach Kevin Sorbo levels of ham. So instead you are left with a movie that has even more boring sub-plots than the first movie. Even more characters than the first movie. But the same level of disgusting. Actually I think this movie is more disgusting because the logic leaps are even more absurd. In the first movie, at least the professor was arguably in the wrong. It wasn't a high bar to clear to prove that he was exceeding his authority. This movie tries for a more real world situation but then doesn't have the balls to actually engage in the debate despite it being a court room "drama".
On a scale of 1 to 10. I would give it Pat Robertson
