What's the best way to lose a double chin?

[The USA]

 Two important caveats:

1. Without losing weight.
2. Without plastic surgery.
3. Without exercise.

I'm diametrically opposed to both of those.

[Human Snorenado]

...cocaine?

[Madrun Badrun]

Curvy mirror or a sports car

[Momo]

self murder?

[The USA]

I'd pay all of you guys to hang around with me and tell me I'm beautiful.

[Madrun Badrun]

I'd pay all of you guys to hang around with me and tell me I'm beautiful.

I'm 260/hh + tip and don't kiss on the penis

[Atramental]

Is this some sort of Zen Buddhist koan?

[brob]

OP seems confused about the amount of caveats. Did someone make this account just to make fun of The USA's educational system? Seems high-effort for such low hanging fruit.

[Your Stalker]

use a knife to cut off the extra fat

[nudemacusers]

while i completely support your avatar in all its patriotic glory, gonna need some pics of the double chin

[demi]

I'd pay all of you guys to hang around with me and tell me I'm beautiful.

Post a pic and i'll tell you whatever you want

[StealthFan]

[HyperZoneWasAwesome]

eat more and get a third chin.

next.

[The USA]

I'd pay all of you guys to hang around with me and tell me I'm beautiful.

Post a pic and i'll tell you whatever you want

[Phoenix Dark]

 

[Shadow Mod]

The popular way to give yourself a jaw line and hide turkey neck is a full on beard.

[StealthFan]

leper this taco

[Himu]

Get four chins. Imagine having your own food tray that's a part of your body so it can also act as a bib?

[Rufus]

FDH = friss die Hälfte = gobble down half the usual amount

[The USA]

So you're Bulbo Urethral Baggins?

I've arrived to the superior website. Thank you Demi.
One day without someone telling me that I'm worse than Hitler on a bad hair day would be nice.

[demi]

I dont know who "Bulbo" is, unfortunately. But as long as you're not a dickhead, you will have no problem here. We are very fat accepting.

Well, I am.

[Human Snorenado]

I dont know who "Bulbo" is, unfortunately. But as long as you're not a dickhead, you will have no problem here. We are very fat accepting.

Well, I am.

It's cool, demi. I got you.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[hampster]

Being too lazy to eat is always a good solution. Some days I'd rather just go to bed early then make dinner

[ToxicAdam]

I don't think double chin fucking is a fetish yet. Let's make some money.

[king of the internet]

Wear a turtle neck.

[chronovore]

Wear a turtle neck.

No, that'll just give a "neck muffintop."

[Eel O'Brian]

False equivocation

Hitler never had a bad hair day

[The USA]

I dont know who "Bulbo" is, unfortunately. But as long as you're not a dickhead, you will have no problem here. We are very fat accepting.

Well, I am.

I'm your bitch Demi.

[demi]

That's good, I'll add you to the pile of my other darlings.

[The USA]

That's good, I'll add you to the pile of my other darlings.

You're a legend, Demi. I'm here for you.
Use me.

[Atramental]

edit: We need to find some more left of center fatties for Demi in order to counter balance Bulbo's presence.

[The USA]

(Image removed from quote.)

edit: We need to find some more left of center fatties for Demi in order to counter balance Bulbo's presence.

I had no idea people feared the double chin like they do here.
Pussies

[StealthFan]

It's been three years since I was able to look down and see my dick.

[benjipwns]

We need to find some more left of center fatties for Demi in order to counter balance Bulbo's presence.

What about Matt Yglesias, does he sound like the type we're looking for?

The Slate D.C. office very much has a "sad desk salad" office culture, which I don't approve of, so I was excited when a colleague proposed today that a bunch of us should all eat lunch together outside in Dupont Circle. It's a great idea. Sharing a meal with others is fun. And you get good ideas through casual conversation. For example, I mentioned that I thought the one flaw in this plan was the outside element of it. Why eat outside when the excellent option of inside is also available?

The obvious flaw with eating outside is that the weather is often unpleasant. That's why people aren't suggesting that we eat outside all the time. Only on special "it's such a nice day!" kind of days do people want to go outside. But what's a nice day? Well, it's a day when the temperature outside approximates the results of indoor climate control technology.

Another big problem with eating outside is it's often difficult to find tables and chairs, so you end up (as we did today) sitting in the dirt. Outside proponents like to refer to this dirt as "grass" but if you look at it you'll see that the blades of grass are mostly just resting atop dirt. If you sit on the "grass" for a while and then stand up, the parts of your body that were in contact will the grass will be covered in "dirt."

What about the sunshine? Yes, obviously eating lunch in a windowless room is sub-optimal.

The breeze? The fresh air? Open a window! In fact, it's even possible to combine open winds and climate control technology to fine-tune the ambient temperature while allowing a room to fill with breeze and fresh air. I don't recommend doing this constantly since it's bad from an energy-efficiency standpoint. But as an every once in a while treat? Why not. It's not like you're eating lunch in the park every day of the year either.

Inside has other crucial advantages. If someone wants to excuse themselves briefly to use the restroom, they can do so easily. Obviously in principle it's possible to relieve oneself outdoors as well, but this is generally frowned upon in urban green spaces. There are also electrical outlets where you can charge your phone. If the breeze coming through the window gets to be unpleasant, you can close the window.

But here's the real thing. People are going to read this as a kind of #Slatepitch but as I live my life I see that despite all the talk about how great it is to be outside, people don't really put their money where their mouth is.

EDIT: Just remembered he's a big Chipotle-stan, nevermind, instant black ball.

EDIT 2: http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2012/02/chipotle_is_apple_how_the_burrito_chain_is_revolutionizing_fast_food_.html 

[Atramental]

Sacrifices must be made, Benji.

[recursivelyenumerable]

EDIT: Just remembered he's a big Chipotle-stan, nevermind, instant black ball.

EDIT 2: http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2012/02/chipotle_is_apple_how_the_burrito_chain_is_revolutionizing_fast_food_.html 

Is there any way for me to retroactively not have ever frequented his blog in the mid-00s?

[StealthFan]

[headwalk]

my eggman PKE meter is getting set off by this guy. i advise you all to proceed with caution.

[nudemacusers]

eggman would have threatened to suck someone's cock by now

[The USA]

Good to have you here, Bulbo. I've always been a fan of your work on GAF.

Thanks man."work" is a good word for it. It got boring and tired.

[The USA]

(Image removed from quote.)

Cute.

I just realized why I probably have a double chin. I'm in pretty good shape actually, but I realized I find myself looking down a lot.
So today when I masturbated on the toilet, I didn't even look down the entire time. I just stared at the ceiling. I'm going to do that from now on.

[nudemacusers]

you have to consider that looking up might stretch your neck skin resulting a droopy appearance when looking forward, thus double chin.

[The USA]

you have to consider that looking up might stretch your neck skin resulting a droopy appearance when looking forward, thus double chin.

Damn.  I thought I was onto something. Back to square one.

[Atramental]

Have you considered autoerotic asphyxiation?

[Rufus]

Aren't spot exercises bullshit? If you could somehow tighten skin without removing a portion of it no woman would ever again suffer a wrinkled post-pregnancy belly.

[Human Snorenado]

Yeah, which brings up- can't he just shoot his neck/chin area up with a shit ton of botox or whatever?

[brob]

SCIENCE

[Rufus]

That reminds me of a woman I saw on the train to Uni a couple times. She looked like she had no lower jaw at all. Always wore a scarf.

[Brehvolution]

#t=110

Skip to 1:50 cause the link wont' for whatever reason.