I talked to the bosses 2 weeks back and am taking a few weeks of medical leave starting this afternoon. Part of me is "tough it out, you pussy!" but my body is like "You'll die if you do"
I'm now down to the weight I was when I was 17. It's funny, I could never get over those last 10 pounds I wanted to lose and in the last 3 weeks I not only lost those 10, but even more on top of that. I should be happy, but I don't think that's a good sign.
Honestly I'm going into this break with no expectations. It might be the end of this career, I know they'd have me back, and I am lucky to have the job I do, but part of me is like "What if I don't want to?" There's a 50/50 chance I might just say "Thanks, but Imma go back and reset and start over". Like I said, I fought long and hard to get to where I am. I've climbed shit mountain and now I see there's only more shit ahead. Part of me just wants to shut everything down and go be a teacher or something. I've made a career of making rich people even richer, I'd like to give something back. Sorta weird to be in a place where I'm like "I don't know what I'm going to do" after so many "5 year plans". But at the same time it's sorta refreshing, if that makes sense?
Either way, I'm shutting off my work email on my phone not going to deal with work at all, and try to get to a place where I can just be "me" again. I know it sounds overly downer and dramatic, but this is a huge triumph for me
