Bought
1x "Smartwatch" Amazfit Bip (35€)
1x budget in-ear Bluetooth cans (Taotronics something or other, 15€)
Downloaded
1x "Crossfit Mix" playlist off Amazon prime (close enough, it has "fit" in its name)
1x Mi Fit smartphone app to configure and use above Smartwatch
4351835x alternative and related apps

Spent
Half a day setting things up and reading privacy statements, ToS and other crap and linking and creating accounts
Half a day procrastinating, err, getting used to things and hyping myself up to do better tomorrow (aka today)
So now I'm sitting here and my wrist is vibrating and telling me to get out of my chair and move my fat arse, and I'm just too puckered out from all the intense configuring, reading, downloading and buying of stuff.
It looked so good on paper. Then again, it's fucking freezing outside and I'm really not feeling the need to grab myself yet another cold and/or flu.
But hey, I've already knocked off 2000 steps off the daily recommendation of 8000 just by commuting. Fuck yeah, I feel healthier already.
TLDR: all the tech of the world can't motivate a lazy bastard to do sports. I'm a good consumer, though. Capitalism, ho! Now someone carry me over to the buffet.