Televangelist warns men who masturbate: Your hands will be pregnant in afterlife

[benjipwns]

http://nypost.com/2015/05/26/televangelist-warns-men-who-masturbate-your-hands-will-be-pregnant-in-afterlife/

A Muslim televangelist has advised male followers to stop masturbating — because it will leave their hands pregnant in the afterlife.

Turkish preacher Mücahid Cihad Han told viewers that masturbation was forbidden in Islam.

“One hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, complaining against them to God over its rights,” he said during his program on private television station 2000 TV, according to The Hurriyet Daily News.

“If our viewer was single, I could recommend he marry, but what can I say now?”

The self-styled televangelist made the astonishing comments in response to a viewer’s question during a May 24 show.

The viewer said he “kept masturbating, although he was married,” including during his holy pilgrimage to Mecca, known as Umrah.

According to The Hurriyet Daily News, a news source for Turkey and the region, the Quran does not make a clear reference to masturbation “and the authenticity of many hadiths is questionable.”

[recursivelyenumerable]

finally I understand what happened in The End of Evangelion.

[Kara]

Please. Like I'm going to believe even my own hands would want to breed with me.

Step your game up saheb.

[Joe Molotov]

[Rufus]

Does it work for socks, too?

[Madrun Badrun]

finally I understand what happened in The End of Evangelion.

Aint masturbation if you cum on an unconscious girl

[Tasty]

finally I understand what happened in The End of Evangelion.

Aint masturbation if you cum on an unconscious girl

He clearly came in his hand.

Fuck I get an L for that knowledge.

[Kara]

It's p. cool how EoE opens and ends with Shinji-kun choking a chicken. Such symmetry.

[brawndolicious]

It was always awkward growing up hearing that technically, it's better for some reason in Islam to do spousal rape than to masturbate.

Now they're accusing you of already raping your hand.

[Eel O'Brian]

Would make a good Witcher sidequest: A Fist Full of Abortion

[bork]

(Image removed from quote.)