Author Topic: Televangelist warns men who masturbate: Your hands will be pregnant in afterlife  (Read 1214 times)

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benjipwns

  • your bright ideas always burn me
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http://nypost.com/2015/05/26/televangelist-warns-men-who-masturbate-your-hands-will-be-pregnant-in-afterlife/

Quote
A Muslim televangelist has advised male followers to stop masturbating — because it will leave their hands pregnant in the afterlife.

Turkish preacher Mücahid Cihad Han told viewers that masturbation was forbidden in Islam.

“One hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, complaining against them to God over its rights,” he said during his program on private television station 2000 TV, according to The Hurriyet Daily News.

“If our viewer was single, I could recommend he marry, but what can I say now?”

The self-styled televangelist made the astonishing comments in response to a viewer’s question during a May 24 show.

The viewer said he “kept masturbating, although he was married,” including during his holy pilgrimage to Mecca, known as Umrah.

According to The Hurriyet Daily News, a news source for Turkey and the region, the Quran does not make a clear reference to masturbation “and the authenticity of many hadiths is questionable.”

recursivelyenumerable

  • you might think that; I couldn't possibly comment
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finally I understand what happened in The End of Evangelion.
QED

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
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Please. Like I'm going to believe even my own hands would want to breed with me.

Step your game up saheb.

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
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©@©™

Rufus

  • 🙈🙉🙊
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Does it work for socks, too?

Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
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finally I understand what happened in The End of Evangelion.

Aint masturbation if you cum on an unconscious girl

Tasty

  • Senior Member
finally I understand what happened in The End of Evangelion.

Aint masturbation if you cum on an unconscious girl

:ufup He clearly came in his hand.

Fuck I get an L for that knowledge. :brazilcry

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
It's p. cool how EoE opens and ends with Shinji-kun choking a chicken. Such symmetry. :lawd

brawndolicious

  • Nylonhilist
  • Senior Member
It was always awkward growing up hearing that technically, it's better for some reason in Islam to do spousal rape than to masturbate.

Now they're accusing you of already raping your hand.

Eel O'Brian

  • Southern Permasexual
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Would make a good Witcher sidequest: A Fist Full of Abortion
sup

bork

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ど助平