I've been wondering how Evilore even approached the situation of nakedly climbing into a shower unannounced. What did he even say to her to prep her? Did he use a smooth one-liner to break the ice like Schwarzennegger in his action movies?
[All said in seductive whispered voice, proceeding a sly eyebrow pump:]
- "Time to get wet and wild."
- "I'm here to make my splash."
- "Oooooh, I just love it when girl's get wet beforehand"
- "Gotta get my dirty little girl clean." [applies bar of soap to her back that he brought himself. She's stuck in a rigor mortis of horror]
- "Is there room in this shower for the both of us? [Looks down at his dick that he is reflexing up and down to imitate nodding gesture] ventriloquizing his cock in a whiny high-pitched voice : "Yes, of course Tyler, CEO of Neogaf"
- "Clean up tiiiiiiiime [inflects the "time" part while uncomfortably trying to maintain a soft whisper]"
- "[flashes E3 press badge from 2003] Guess I ain't waiting in line to play this game"
- "[continuing on E3 theme] What have we here? Impressive visuals. Tight controls. Deep gameplay. Hot, dirty pussy. [giggling at metaphor b/c hot dirty pussies have nothing to do with games]"
- [re-attempting European vacation power move] [not spoken in a whisper] I'm way taller than Bruce Lee, honeybun - so do me a favor and open that little cumhole before I fucking kill you. I'm not playing."
- [re-attempting European vacation power move] [now menacingly screaming] I make money doing fuckin' NOTHING. NOTHING, you hear me? I can buy your fucking parents if I wanted to, you fucking whore. Receive me or I'll fucking kill one of us before this shower is over."
- [steps into shower and immediately starts talking] Like, It's so crazy that I have these intermediate to advanced powerlifting numbers. [shakes head and laughs to himself] So nuts. Like literally my benchpress numbers are insane [shakes head]... I mean isn't that crazy? Like, right?" [waits for horrified girl to reassure him with a compliment]
- [humming Air Man theme from Mega Man 2, inter-splicing his own lyrics between hums] " And his name is Evillore, Andddd he's gonna fuucckkkk, dunnnuh, nunnuhhh, hmmm, mmmmm, exactly like how Mark Zuckerberg fucks....hmmm mmmmm yeaaah, gettin' that pussy, dunnuh nuhhh"
YALL KNOW WHAT I MEAN