Blockchain
If I see one more job posting using that fucking term I swear to god
Same here for "startup". I am getting so many job offers that are obviously sent out in bulk that basically read like this:
"We are a small startup looking for enthusiastic employees. Pay is gonna suck, but we are totally cool guys who got a pool table in our office and we like to drink beer after work."
"We are a dynamic small startup prepared to revolutionize the blockchain"
"Here at SimpleChain Mike, John, Blooper and Nancy are looking for fun, diverse and curious people to join our workforce of entrepreneurs, marketeers and developers.
In 2005 John Simple and his goldfish blooper sold his stock and left his job at Microsoft. Soon after he met me (Nancy) and with my brother Mike we created SimpleChain. A simpler blockchain"
Are you a fan of simple things like we are, environmentally friendly and out-of-the-box thinker with a can-do attitude we're looking for you!
Requirements
Age: 20 - 30
Experience: 10 years experience
Working hours: Doesn't really matter when you have fun right!

Benefits: Swing set in the office, drinks and healthy dinners with me, Mike and John!
Compensation: Negotiable (you can also apply for stock options in our amazing venture!)"
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Bonus: employee descriptions!!!
Mike
Mike like Steve Jobs never finished his college. But he's a very talented guy. He met John through his sister Nancy when they started dating.
He thought John was a brilliant guy with a great vision. Mike is an excellent developer who writes amazing code that our entire product is based on.
Loves: Code, Star Trek, Home Alone, Manga, his sister Nancy
Hates: Soda straws
John
John the founder and CEO of SimpleChain. John wanted to make things Simple! He's an inspirational figure who always does what's best for his people at the
expense of himself and even the company. Having worked at Microsoft he's an expert at many things including software development, design, financial planning and more!
John is such a great guy that he actually met Elon Musk once.
Loves: his girlfriend Nancy, Blooper, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk
Hates: Failure
Nancy
Ooh that's me. Hihi. Nancy has given her heart to SimpleChain and John. As VP of office management development she makes sure that everyone including blooper(!)
feels at home at SimpleChain. This includes making sure that we have all sorts of fun activities at SimpleChain such as our swingset. She's also a feminist and supports diversity and a clean
environment. When she's not working at SimpleChain she enjoys long walks with John and her goldfish Blooper.
Loves: John, puppies, Blooper
Hates: Meanies, empty cookie jars
Blooper
BLOOP BLOOP, Blooper is our mascot. Blooper has been with Nancy and John since they founded the company.
Blooper does not code or anything but he's occasionally a great source of inspiration!
Loves: Water, fishfood
Hates: Sharks