https://twitter.com/JTInRealLife/status/1222269850472669185
I wonder how that whole informed consent thing would play out in real life...
SCENE: After a nice dinner and a few drinks at a local restaurant, Bob, a 34 year old lawyer, sums up the courage to ask Jenny, a 29 year old personal assistant, to go back to his place.
Bob: Ahh, Jenny, I've had a really great night. I hope you have too.
Jenny: Definitely, thank you so much for agreeing to come out with me.
Bob: It's getting a little late, but I kinda don't want to end the night just yet. You want to head back to my place for one more drink?
(*Please say yes. I wanna see what those big tiddies look like*)Jenny: Sure, that sounds nice
(*Damn, I'm so fucking horny right now, I thought he would never ask*)SCENE: Jenny and Bob hop in a cab and commence some heavy petting/foreplay...much to the amusement of the driver. Upon alighting from the cab and before they open the door to Bob's house, Bob turns to Jenny...
Bob: Now Jenny. Consent is very important to me and I just want to make sure we are on the same page. There is also something of a power imbalance here as I am a lawyer and you are a personal assistant, so I really need to make sure you are completely informed.
Jenny: Sure, let's get inside it's a little cold.
(*Oh god, I really want to get inside before the neighbours see us*)Bob: OK, well, before we go inside, I just want to make sure you understand my intentions. When I said, 'head back to my place for a drink', I really meant that we would go to my place for sex.
Jenny: Yep, I guessed that.
(*Just open the door. I'm a 29 year old woman. This is not my first time on the carousel*)Bob: OK, and when I say sex, I mean that I am probably going to want to go down on you and for you to return the favour.
Jenny: Yes Bob, that's what I am here for. Can you just open the door now.
(*I'm freezing my tits off in this little black dress.*)Bob: Just so we are clear, I definitely want to insert my penis into your vagina...
Jenny: Yes Bob. I'm down to fuck. Can you just open the door.
(*For fuck's sake Bob, just shut the fuck up and open the door*)Bob: ...and, if you're into it, I would love to spank your arse a little and maybe shoot my load on your breasts.
Jenny: You know what, Bob, now that you said all that shit out loud, I don't think I want to do this any more. I was totally down for anything tonight. You could have treated me like a piece of meat and I would have loved it. Instead, you made it all sound so uncomfortable and gross that I just feel icky. How about you call me a cab and I'll just go home to my cats and vibrator. Fuck you Bob. Fuck you.
