Author Topic: The Outside Link Thread (All Your GAF, OA, SA, YouTube, etc. Links Go In Here!) (Read 3066776 times)

Himu · « **Reply #17880 on:** December 28, 2008, 09:00:45 PM »

I don't think the amount of porn you've watched has anything to do with it. Probably depends on the person. I mean, most porn is predictable.

They typicallt start out with some skank hoe doing bullshit I don't care about, or the director talk to her as if anyone gives a shit. Then she plays with herself and that shit is boring 99% of the time unless she's REALLY hot. Then some guy comes and she sucks his dick. Then, depending on circumstances he eats her out or they go right for the kill. Sometimes they switch it up so that the guy eats the gal out first and then they go for a blow job. Then, usually, cowgirl or reverese cowgirl is the first position they do. Then it's sometimes doggy style. Then sometimes it's the missionary. Then the girl sucks the cock some more. Then the guy probably fucks her more if he can take it, then he cums on her face, tits, butt cheeks, tongue whatever.

It tends to get quite canned, and since most of the females are barely into it nearly as much as the dudes -- and since I'm not gay, I'm all about the females -- it doesn't excite me at all since it's all so predictable. Then you got these porn girls who suck at this stuff; girl just licks the head of the penis or whatever, and doesn't shove it in her mouth. Girl sucks cock at the speed of a fucking turtle. et cetera. If I watch porn, I want hardcore shit, not this wimpy stuff. I'm talking Anastasia Blue shit.

cool breeze · « **Reply #17881 on:** December 28, 2008, 09:03:39 PM »

The hardcore stuff does nothing for me. I find it fascinating more than anything else with all the weird shit they do.

Guybrush Threepwood · « **Reply #17882 on:** December 28, 2008, 09:05:15 PM »

Something I just found out is that if you completely use your imagination rather than look at porn the orgasm is MUCH more intense.

Himu · « **Reply #17883 on:** December 28, 2008, 09:06:16 PM »

Word.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #17884 on:** December 28, 2008, 09:30:37 PM »

I love how the porn talk has somehow sustained itself. OT thread!

demi · « **Reply #17885 on:** December 28, 2008, 09:38:59 PM »

Maybe you should just show me your penis instead, BlueTsunami...

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #17886 on:** December 28, 2008, 09:48:24 PM »

Himu is right, porn usually sticks to the same tired script. Even the guys sometimes seem bored. Chicks fake moaning, dudes plowing like their on auto pilot, etc. I want people to get into the scenes

I should be a porn director

Guybrush Threepwood · « **Reply #17887 on:** December 28, 2008, 09:49:03 PM »

create a scene right now

Beezy · « **Reply #17888 on:** December 28, 2008, 09:49:37 PM »

Lol Himuro's summary is dead on. Same shit, different people.

demi · « **Reply #17889 on:** December 28, 2008, 09:55:47 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on December 28, 2008, 09:48:24 PM

Himu is right, porn usually sticks to the same tired script. Even the guys sometimes seem bored. Chicks fake moaning, dudes plowing like their on auto pilot, etc. I want people to get into the scenes

I should be a porn director

Watch amateur / homemade stuff then...

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #17890 on:** December 28, 2008, 10:14:20 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on December 28, 2008, 09:48:24 PM

I should be a porn director

I eagerly await "Black Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets".

By secrets I mean Brazilian cheeseburgers

ananus · « **Reply #17891 on:** December 28, 2008, 10:16:46 PM »

what i don't understand about porn is why the pornstars appear on 30 different sites. everyone pirates that shit anyway, and there is no difference between seeing a pornstar on my friends hot mom or my first sex teacher or whatever it is.

also, amateur porn sucks. it's either the camera angle, the lightning doesn't let you see shit, or it's too short, or the girl doesn't even show her tits... there's always something. standard porn sucks too. most of the time, it's better to find some self taken shots of cam whores than to watch a scene from (or a whole) porn movie.

demi · « **Reply #17892 on:** December 28, 2008, 10:17:46 PM »

Just makes it more real... fits the mood

Himu · « **Reply #17893 on:** December 28, 2008, 10:26:28 PM »

Quote from: Beezy on December 28, 2008, 09:49:37 PM

Lol Himuro's summary is dead on. Same shit, different people.

Or in worse case scenario: same shit, same people.

Himu · « **Reply #17894 on:** December 28, 2008, 10:28:55 PM »

ideepthroat is the real shit. Women sucking cock and actually enjoying it. That's the real shit. They don't look bored and the dudes don't look bored and nothing looks fake.

Guybrush Threepwood · « **Reply #17895 on:** December 28, 2008, 10:33:44 PM »

^yes

Like I mentioned on the previous page, Heather

ing Brooke

Himu · « **Reply #17896 on:** December 28, 2008, 10:34:13 PM »

Real Shit

spoiler (click to show/hide)

http://youporn.com/watch/21348

[close]

pussy ass porn

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #17897 on:** December 28, 2008, 10:58:05 PM »

Heather

Too bad she won't fuck anyone but her husband. I want to see her deepthroat Mandingo

etiolate · « **Reply #17898 on:** December 28, 2008, 11:10:48 PM »

I prefer amateur porn. Porn stars are just boring looking and thats why the porn gets boring. Everyone looks the same, doing the same thing. Zzzzz.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #17899 on:** December 28, 2008, 11:34:43 PM »

Amateur porn has bad camera angles, bad lighting, and often very bad sex.

cool breeze · « **Reply #17900 on:** December 28, 2008, 11:38:14 PM »

Amateur porn has the worst camera angles. At least in any non-euro pro-porno, they know not to linger on some guy's ass. Euro porn is just weird with their fascination of the ass.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #17901 on:** December 28, 2008, 11:43:59 PM »

While I don't want to sound like a girl, would it hurt porn producers to add some decent stories. Usually there's no story at all. But even when there is one, they don't show any effort into making it believable. You could at least see some effort with vintage porn.

cool breeze · « **Reply #17902 on:** December 28, 2008, 11:53:33 PM »

part of why 70s porn was great was because of the stories.

the worst porn story style I've seen is when they try to make it a normal scenario where the guy actually flirts with the girl, then they go back and bang. The whole conversation they have is pointless since you know where it's going, so you don't even have that rejection aspect. A choose your own story porn could probably fix that.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #17903 on:** December 28, 2008, 11:56:12 PM »

Quote from: swaggaz on December 28, 2008, 11:38:14 PM

Amateur porn has the worst camera angles. At least in any non-euro pro-porno, they know not to linger on some guy's ass. Euro porn is just weird with their fascination of the ass.

No doubt, I couldn't even get into the Ray J / Kardashian vid. A good portion of it is Ray J railing her fake butt, her a little off screen, Ray J's seemingly constant O face smack dab in the middle of the fucking screen. I understand there's no one there to help with the camera angles but shit, plan that shit out distinguished black fellow. Get that wiry black ass to a Best Buy and invest in a tripod.

Diunx · « **Reply #17904 on:** December 29, 2008, 12:10:23 AM »

I was introduced to Heather Brooke back in high school, a guy had a video of her in his cellphone, it has been my dream since that day to find a girl that can put my whole dick in her mouth so I can cum directly into her throat.

MCD · « **Reply #17905 on:** December 29, 2008, 12:35:13 AM »

eve lawrence - phat ass tits.

only porn video i have here, her short hair makes me raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage hard.

Himu · « **Reply #17906 on:** December 29, 2008, 12:48:43 AM »

Have you guys ever had an orgasm so intense your vision gets totally blurry for a while?

Quote from: Night Man on December 28, 2008, 11:43:59 PM

While I don't want to sound like a girl, would it hurt porn producers to add some decent stories. Usually there's no story at all. But even when there is one, they don't show any effort into making it believable. You could at least see some effort with vintage porn.

My first real porn had story. It wasn't awesome or anything but it made things more hilarious.

It was about this dude who owns an ice cream shop. His niece comes over to visit for the summer and lands a job there. He tries his hardest to keep his part-timer, Timmy, from getting his peen in her vag. Well, one night Timmy's working later than usual and closing shop, the niece knocks on the door, and they fuck. Then her uncle finds out and grills Timmy but soon forgives him. A usual customer pops in and starts talking about how a theory of his -- that french women give the best head. He tells a story about how his grand father met a French chick during War World II and then starts to day dream fucking her and her pal.

It was great porn. When they're trying to make him cum, they start to actually fight over who's going to get the stuff in their mouth first. They both want first dibs. Then the French chick's pal gets it and she gets all jealous.

Finally, at the end of the tape, Timmy walks in on his boss, Jerry, fucking his niece. "Be sure not to tell anyone about this, alright? Not even your mother. She'll kill me!" "*chuckle* Okay!"

That's why 70's and 80's porn is the best. That porno tape was so good, it spoiled me. Almost all porn after that tape has sucked.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #17907 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:14:28 AM »

Quote from: Night Man on December 28, 2008, 11:43:59 PM

While I don't want to sound like a girl, would it hurt porn producers to add some decent stories. Usually there's no story at all. But even when there is one, they don't show any effort into making it believable. You could at least see some effort with vintage porn.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

http://www.tube8.com/mature/nina-hartley/87990/

[close]

Himu · « **Reply #17908 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:15:17 AM »

Where's the link to that hilarious porn where that dude is sleeping or whatever, and those two chicks walk in with his pants down? I think one of them was his sister or cousin?

Himu · « **Reply #17909 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:18:56 AM »

Quote from: swaggaz on December 28, 2008, 11:53:33 PM

part of why 70s porn was great was because of the stories.

the worst porn story style I've seen is when they try to make it a normal scenario where the guy actually flirts with the girl, then they go back and bang. The whole conversation they have is pointless since you know where it's going, so you don't even have that rejection aspect. A choose your own story porn could probably fix that.

The worst I've seen is one where dude didn't have a condom so his "girlfriend" is like, go buy a condom. So they wipe, and then he has a condom and then stuffs his dick in her mouth.

littlemathletics · « **Reply #17910 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:19:07 AM »

80s > 70s.

Himu · « **Reply #17911 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:19:42 AM »

Indeed. 80's > 70's

I can't stand 70's tits. It looks like God himself pinched those titties to bits. Got sharp angles and shit. Know what I'm talking about?

littlemathletics · « **Reply #17912 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:25:11 AM »

Yeah. Also, I have a thing for feathered '80s hair. I can't explain it, but it does things to me.

Himu · « **Reply #17913 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:27:37 AM »

80's hair turns me on so much.

I was discussing this with my pop the other day as we watched The Last Dragon on tv.

"Dad, look at that hair. It's so proud, it's so defined. It's black hair. Not this straight hair razzle dazzle the girls have now."

cool breeze · « **Reply #17914 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:35:02 AM »

Quote from: Himuro on December 29, 2008, 01:15:17 AM

Where's the link to that hilarious porn where that dude is sleeping or whatever, and those two chicks walk in with his pants down? I think one of them was his sister or cousin?

I think I've seen that before.

littlemathletics · « **Reply #17915 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:35:31 AM »

It's not that I have any particular issue with girls' hair these days, but yeah...goddamn, look at that shit.

Himu · « **Reply #17916 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:36:55 AM »

I have no problem with modern day girl hair either but dayyum

cool breeze · « **Reply #17917 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:38:56 AM »

That's a good picture because the hair suits Miss Laura Charles so well. It all depends on the person.

We really need a separate porn thread.

Himu · « **Reply #17918 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:39:37 AM »

THE 80'S

littlemathletics · « **Reply #17919 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:48:21 AM »

Mia Sara

Positive Touch · « **Reply #17920 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:50:01 AM »

ugh. 80's hair is why I consider basically every movie from that decade unwatchable. seeing people walk around with that feathered bullshit just makes me sad and disgusted. It's like, how could so many millions of people see that and think "That looks good, I think I'll copy it." fucking awful

cool breeze · « **Reply #17921 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:51:09 AM »

Quote from: littlemathletics on December 29, 2008, 01:48:21 AM

Mia Sara

day bow bow

Himu · « **Reply #17922 on:** December 29, 2008, 01:56:10 AM »

Mia Sara

Ferris Bueller's so good it pretty much halted her career ;(

The Bueller...Bueller Edition doesn't even have modern interviews with her like with the rest of the cast. All the stuff with her is from 1986.

littlemathletics · « **Reply #17923 on:** December 29, 2008, 02:03:47 AM »

I'm glad it doesn't. I don't think I'd want to see what she looks like outside the movie.

Himu · « **Reply #17924 on:** December 29, 2008, 02:05:59 AM »

But what if she's still totally hot now?!

I'll admit, it is totally weird seeing the actors age. Like Cameron's nothing but gray hair now, Matthew's aged well but he's got those dark spots on his face, Jean is still beautiful imo and she still has that 80's hair

Dude who played Ed Rooney is now fucking fat! Oh, and the chick who played Ferris' mom looks like she's had her share of crack or meth. Either that or she's anorexic.

littlemathletics · « **Reply #17925 on:** December 29, 2008, 02:08:57 AM »

Jeffrey Jones is also a child molester, or child porn freak or something. Dude who played Cameron - whose name escapes me - is fucking awesome, though. Unofrtunately, Matthew Broderick's made a few too many shitty films.

Inspector Gadget :'(

Himu · « **Reply #17926 on:** December 29, 2008, 02:13:19 AM »

The interviews with Cameron and Matthew were awesome. The guy who played Cam just seems like a swell guy. Matthew appear to tight up.

Oh, and Godzilla :'(

cool breeze · « **Reply #17927 on:** December 29, 2008, 02:16:14 AM »

Jeffrey Jones looks exactly like Ganondorf from OoT

Himu · « **Reply #17928 on:** December 29, 2008, 02:18:31 AM »

btw I'm looking on youtube and holy shit

Who MADE this abomination?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #17929 on:** December 29, 2008, 02:55:28 AM »

Quote from: littlemathletics on December 29, 2008, 01:48:21 AM

(Image removed from quote.)

Mia Sara

She gave me so many childhood boners. Same with Ferris' sister in the movie omg

pilonv1 · « **Reply #17930 on:** December 29, 2008, 03:17:49 AM »

Quote from: littlemathletics on December 29, 2008, 02:08:57 AM

Jeffrey Jones is also a child molester, or child porn freak or something. Dude who played Cameron - whose name escapes me - is fucking awesome, though. Unofrtunately, Matthew Broderick's made a few too many shitty films.

Inspector Gadget :'(

Isn't it Alan Ruck who ended up on Spin City and in that awesome WB show M.U.S.C.L.E?

Quote

In the 2007 comedy Kickin' It Old Skool, he appears as Dr. Fry, a possible reference to Cameron Frye. He even mentions still needing to save up to get a new Ferrari, which could refer to Cameron totaling his dad's Ferrari in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Awesome.

BobFromPikeCreek · « **Reply #17931 on:** December 29, 2008, 04:28:19 AM »

The guy who played Cameron was in The Happening

.

littlemathletics · « **Reply #17932 on:** December 29, 2008, 05:20:39 AM »

Yeah, Alan Ruck - that's it. Couldn't remember and was too lazy/at work to bother looking it up.

The Sceneman · « **Reply #17933 on:** December 29, 2008, 07:01:16 AM »

lol

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=14100872&postcount=27108

Junpei the Tracer! · « **Reply #17934 on:** December 29, 2008, 09:48:18 AM »

Quote from: Himuro on December 29, 2008, 12:48:43 AM

Have you guys ever had an orgasm so intense your vision gets totally blurry for a while?

omg

drohne · « **Reply #17935 on:** December 29, 2008, 10:00:13 AM »

Quote from: Himuro on December 29, 2008, 12:48:43 AM

Have you guys ever had an orgasm so intense your vision gets totally blurry for a while?

aim it away from your eyes

Crushed · « **Reply #17936 on:** December 29, 2008, 10:04:00 AM »

Quote from: drohne on December 29, 2008, 10:00:13 AM

Quote from: Himuro on December 29, 2008, 12:48:43 AM
Have you guys ever had an orgasm so intense your vision gets totally blurry for a while?

aim it away from your eyes

Guybrush Threepwood · « **Reply #17937 on:** December 29, 2008, 10:41:17 AM »

Kim Cattrall in Big Trouble in Little China

Kestastrophe · « **Reply #17938 on:** December 29, 2008, 11:46:11 AM »

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=347094

This thread has it all.

-Xbots declaring victory over Sony

-Sfags smarming with shit like "I guess I should just sell my PS3 and get a 360 then, huh?"

-tin foil hat conspiracies and general NeoFaquery

Himu · « **Reply #17939 on:** December 29, 2008, 11:47:35 AM »

Is this the longest we've ever strayed away from gaf talk in this thread's history? I think it is.

Let's keep going.

News:

Author Topic: The Outside Link Thread (All Your GAF, OA, SA, YouTube, etc. Links Go In Here!) (Read 3066776 times)