The Bore's 2nd (or THIRD :-*) POST YOUR NUDE PIC thread

[recursivelyenumerable]

I don't want dating to be something you have to game; I want it to be all normal and cute and like the movies Sad

you need to own your despair.  like me.

try watching the koyaanisqatsi trilogy.

[Reb]

Yeah, a miserable guy is intriguing, a guy with game is interesting, a honest guy is kinda like a brother.

Also, too much to read, but do we already have consensus on the fact that it's not about his looks but his approach?
Bebpo, you're definitely better looking than me, and I manage to get laid.

[recursivelyenumerable]

oh hai, look I can do the shirtless thing too!

but i ain't showing you my tits.  as consolation you do get to thrill to the lovely giant mole on my left upper torso.

in other news my scars don't seem to have faded significantly since last month.
it kinda makes me feel like laying down and dying, but then i remember i can do litigation support app development which amounts to basically the same thing, but takes less effort

[recursivelyenumerable]

i'm too old to get into the dating game.  i don't even play video games anymore let alone dating games.

[recursivelyenumerable]

wow, after looking at my pic on my desktop monitor and my laptop screen, i realized that a display's gamma settings is a pretty significant influence on how shitty i look.  not that i don't look shitty on the laptop too, but i look that much shittier on the desktop.  how do i adjust a woman's gamma settings?

[recursivelyenumerable]

The GIMP

[recursivelyenumerable]

so, list of things I need for a relationship

- gamma correction
- clone tool
- Gaussian blur
- avoid exuding friendliness at all costs lest its eponymous zone devour me; limit interaction to wordless scowling and sneering

anything else?

[T-Short]

so, list of things I need for a relationship

- gamma correction
- clone tool
- Gaussian blur
- avoid friendliness at all costs lest its eponymous zone devour me; limit interaction to wordless scowling and sneering

anything else?

- no internet connection

[WrikaWrek]

I've seen worse looking dudes than Bebpo had the fun of their lives, but here's what. It's not just about how you look, it's about how you sound and how you act.

And going from your post, dude, you need to change and start living a little.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Do you guys think my scarring (in the above non-GIMPed picture) has faded at all since I took this picture few weeks ago?


I'm kinda thinking it has but it could just be the lighting, or wishful thinking/imagining

[muckhole]

If I recall correctly, yeah. It looks to have faded.

Also, a few years back, I was dating a massage therapist. A hockey playing friend of mine took a skate in the face, which gave him a jagged cut from the left of his mouth all the way up to just below his eye. She mentioned to him to use a ton of aloe, while gently rolling the scarred area in between his fingers (like a light pinch) every day. Dunno if that's the reason why, but you can barely see the scar now, so it may be something to try, although I'd mention it to you doctor just in case.

I still think you're disturbingly handsome regardless.

[Barry Egan]

excessive sincerity is one of the rudest things you could possibly do on a date.  I'm fairly confident that no one on the planet is interested in validating your inner reality, Bebpo.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I guess most scars do eventually become not very visible, since the redness is what really sticks out and that usually goes away, leaving only the depression which isn't usually so prominent.  The problem is it can take years and I'm impatient     not to mention that I get new ones faster than the old ones fade.

if only they'd invent Gaussian Blur Cream

[Cyanista]

Vitamin E oil/moisturizers.  You might be scared putting oil or something made from oil on acne-prone skin, but it really isn't the problem.  L'oreal made this AWESOME vitamin e moisturizer (i dunno if they still do, couldn't find it at wal mart here when I moved).   My ex and I both used it and it would take  the red out of blemishes/help reduce them in one day.  Futur*e its called, or something.  It rocks.

[chronovore]

Bepbo, never EVER go for a woman with problems that you can detect even at an early stage. Good grief. You're interested in them because it'd be challenging? What part of your claimed rejections over the past 10 or 15 years was "not challenging"?

Someone mentioned broadening your horizons and just seeing where things go with someone normal or average. I'm not sure about that; you might have some boring craphead who ends up doting on you. Then again, it may do you some good to be the one doing the breaking-up, rather than being broken.

But start with being honest with yourself, and with the women you're interested in. Don't start with being their friend and acting just friendly; let them see you're interested, and ask if they'd like to grab lunch or dinner or something. Asking about dates or talking about relationships immediately is a great way to KILL THE BUD BEFORE IT BLOOMS. Mostly just try to have fun, and remember:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Boys that try to be "nice guys" and BFF with a girl, mainly hoping to get into their pants will never get any, and are responsible for their own failure due to their inherent dishonesty.

[close]

[Bebpo]

Bebpo you look normal man, hope luck will turn for you in the ladies department. Maybe youre taking it all too seriously? I dont know but maybe you build up to a move so much it feels like a huge dissapointment when it doesnt work out, could this be it? How many times during a year do you flirt with a girl?

Yeaaaaah, pretty much true here.  I meet people maybe 1-2 times a year, build a friendship for a while (maybe month+), then get rejected.  I know it's the whole YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG thing; I just can't help that I fall into friendships with people who click with me and then I wait for feelings to grow and when I feel it's the right time or when there is a 3rd party event (like this time) I make my interest known.

To field some of the other questions people asked:

-Sincerity:  Yes, I am 95% honest/sincere (as much as a person can be) about everything when talking to someone.  I feel I have nothing to hide and I want to meet someone who likes me for who I am; not who I pretend to be while hiding away certain parts.

-Not trying so hard:  Well most months of a year I am not trying at all and I just ignore dating and enjoy my life.  I have never been approached by a single person male or female during any of these times to talk.  If I don't make the effort to pursue someone I don't meet anyone....ever.

-Have a life:  I travel, do photography, write poetry, short stories, draw, make dinky little movies, do arts & crafts projects like building robots, cook, bake, read books, watch movies, go to a lot of live shows, take walks, jog, work out.  I'm pretty much out all day everyday doing something different and exciting and having fun doing it and then at night I'm usually just hanging around home writing or watching a movie or playing a game.  I do almost everything alone though because I don't have a social group.  The only things I don't do is follow/play sports or play an instrument (I tryyyyyyy but I'm a terrible guitar player).

I seem to be a person that people want to be friends with, because I'm funny (I make people laugh a looot) and creative and always have stories to tell or arty projects to show.  I'm also a good listener and respond well to conversations and am good at making the mood happier and getting people out of depression.

Unfortunately being what people want in a friend != what they want in a bf.  You would think it would be someone who could be a good friend, who would understand you and like you for who you are and then be there to huggle and comfort you with love.  But no; that apparently is not it booo.

I'll admit the amount of people who are on the same page as me and will even respond to me or have conversations with me if a very small niche.  Even though I'm 27, I still act like a kid and have silly conversations with bad grammar on purpose and I don't like to talk about real world things like jobs, politics, the daily news, etc... I talk about robots and space aliens and flying whales.  This limits me in who I can get along with, but I really have no desire to "grow up" and be like everyone else.  I just want to meet someone wacky and silly like me who I could date.

Here is a snippit example of my conversation style:
[00:28] ~~: woah
[00:28] ~~: .
[00:28] Bebpo: WOAH
[00:28] Bebpo: YES
[00:28] ~~: that . is actually woah
[00:28] Bebpo: woah sounds kinda like noah
[00:28] Bebpo: if you say it a lot
[00:28] ~~: noah sounds like woah if you say it like no
[00:28] Bebpo: bahahaha
[00:29] Bebpo: no I don't laugh like SHEEP
[00:29] ~~: yeah woah still doesnt sound like noah
[00:29] ~~: WHY NOT
[00:29] Bebpo: GOOD QUESTION
[00:29] ~~: that made me lol
[00:29] ~~: actually
[00:29] ~~: i went
[00:29] ~~: BAHAHA
[00:29] ~~: and then i went BAHAHAHAHAHAH and then i went BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
[00:29] ~~: cuz
[00:29] ~~: no thats a lie
[00:29] ~~: but i laughed
[00:29] Bebpo: GOOD
[00:29] Bebpo: DON'T BE SHEEP
[00:29] ~~: oh ok
[00:29] Bebpo: BE YOURSELF
[00:30] ~~: ALRIGHT
 

[Cyanista]

Or just have relationships with other children!  Willco will apologize for you, as long as you are just expressing your inner child. 

[Reb]

Hey look, it's scruffy mcsideburn.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Boys that try to be "nice guys" and BFF with a girl, mainly hoping to get into their pants will never get any, and are responsible for their own failure due to their inherent dishonesty.

isn't this a caricature?  i dunno, maybe there are people who do this exactly but i think most situations this stereotype is trying to capture are more complicated.  i mean, i actually haven't been in this role too much despite somehow identifying with it, i sort of assume that i've been in it all the time but when i actually go over my history i really haven't, but in the situations i have been in that vaguely resemble this, in reality i was driven by a lot of things like being unsure of my own feelings, distrust/disgust/unease with dating ritual and maybe the idea of sex and relationships in general, etc.  sure i had goofy fantasies sometimes but so what.  

in the end, i became a soulless husk of a manchild, not worth the 100 watts of energy my metabolism directly consumes probably, but it would have been the same way if i'd had 'relationships' so i don't have any regrets related to that.  in fact, of course, things would have been worse since i would have dragged other people down with me.

[recursivelyenumerable]

as for bebpo, he needs to forget this dating shit and get a PURPOSE  
not a bunch of hobbies but something (that is actually creative, productive and intellectual) that you are so obsessed with that it completely consumes you, totally shouting down even basic human impulses such as sex, etc. 

this is what i tried to do and haven't really succeeded except for limited periods of time (2002 and 2005-6 were decent years) but you should still try to succeed where i failed, because otherwise you'll become worthless like i have

[Barry Egan]

you're a child. grow up. then you can have relationships.

.

[recursivelyenumerable]

isn't bebpo in law school?

[Fresh Prince]

isn't bebpo in law school?

hmmm....

jarosh is correct. Also I don't think you are self aware. Your honesty is probably the awkward kind not the sincere one. And your humour is probably the wierd quirky kind instead of real wit. Neither are traits that most women look for.

[recursivelyenumerable]

whatever who cares.  dating is dumb, find a creative/technical/political obsession instead.  and forget all about relationships/sex/etc.

[Kestastrophe]

I don't like to talk about real world things like jobs, politics, the daily news, etc... I talk about robots and space aliens and flying whales.  This limits me in who I can get along with, but I really have no desire to "grow up" and be like everyone else.  I just want to meet someone wacky and silly like me who I could date.

that's too bad. If you had interest in something less superficial and more meaningful, like say Philosophy, I have a feeling that you would find more women that repulsed you rather than women that find you repulsive. Then again PD can't seem to get laid

[Barry Egan]

I wonder how many of Bebpo's 'jokes' revolve around not being a sheep?

friend:  Hey so I was flirting with this girl the other day
Bebpo:  Baaaa! Baaaa! Sheeple alert!
Friend:  Hey, you're a law student who consumes conspicuous amounts of anime and robot-themed action figures!  You just bought a camera that cost at least 1,000 dollars...can you really chide other people for not 'stepping outside the system'?
Bebpo:  Sorry, I just couldn't here you over all the braying!

[recursivelyenumerable]

i don't actively seek out partners with serious personal issues -- well I don't seek out (or find) partners, period -- but the uh partner-class women who make an impression on me tend to be ones i feel are  fucked up in the same way i am.  who are pretty rare, but they make me think that maybe i could connect on a deep level with someone, which seems like it should be the whole point of having a relationship?  otherwise why bother?

[Bebpo]

I take a lot of insults because trivial stuff doesn't bother me, but Jarosh...no.

I always have and always will be there for my friends Male or Female. Being dependable and caring about others are incredibly important to me.  I'm always there to help friends feel better and get through whatever challenges they're facing.

And would you rather I be emo and not like myself? I agree with the idea that if you love yourself, others will come to love you. I try to be as amazing as I can be for myself and enjoy life with an optimistic outview.

Also it's not that I go into friendships with some secret plan to sleep with the person. I go into friendships when I meet people who I get along with, male or female. I like having friends.  It just happens that when I'm friends with a girl, feelings develop and I get a crush on them and want to hold hands, cuddle, etc... Because I start caring more than normal about them.

My role model in life has been michel gondrey. A grown up whose kept his optimistic child outlook on life and has fun conveying it to others.

[Barry Egan]

 

[recursivelyenumerable]

i'm not even there for myself.  never mind another person.

[Bebpo]

I don't see how that is funny to laugh at. It seem admirable to me.  
Obviously you have to be serious sometimes, but if you can live most of your life with childlike eyes full of optmism and amazement of the world around you, then that is a fantastic approach to life imo

I'd rather give up relationships than give up my imagination that makes this world an amazing place to live in. Hence why when though I go through short emo depressions, I've never been suicidal because I love this world and it's beauty.

[Barry Egan]

it's funny because you're lying to yourself

[Mr. Gundam]

I don't see how that is funny to laugh at. It seem admirable to me.  
Obviously you have to be serious sometimes, but if you can live most of your life with childlike eyes full of optmism and amazement of the world around you, then that is a fantastic approach to life imo

I'd rather give up relationships than give up my imagination that makes this world an amazing place to live in. Hence why when though I go through short emo depressions, I've never been suicidal because I love this world and it's beauty.

That's a pretty defensive response. Jarosh hit the nail on the head.

[recursivelyenumerable]

bebpo is right though.  being a naive loser >>>> being a jaded cynical loser, take it from someone who's degraded from the former to the latter

[Mr. Gundam]

Bebpo sounds a lot like me in college.

You need to find a balance between being happy go lucky "everything is amazing!" and realistic and responsible. You also need to grow a pair and get out of the friend zone. Maybe go see a counselor/therapist to work on it?

[GilloD]

REAL TALK

Girls are as insecure and as in need of love as you are. Yes, there are some 100% feral bitches who just wanna fuck with you. But dudes, it is 99% all about confidence. If you see a girl you like, talk to her and ask her out. She says No? Fuck her. She just missed a fun time. You will be ASTONISHED at the number of girls who will agree to go out without you.

PROTIP: If you are drunk and they are drunk, asking them if they want to makeout has like a 65% success rate.

Also, Bepbo, keeping an optimistic spirit is good! Being a weird man-child is not. You gotta take some responsibility for shit.

[recursivelyenumerable]

actually this is probably the thing that's really frustrating and depressing me the most lately.  i don't have any sense of mystery or wonder left in my life anymore.  not only am i not accomplishing anything, i don't even really feel a desire to accomplish anything, or experience anything.  even if i could have a relationship or whatever, and let's say with the most wonderful woman in the world whatever that means, and let's say the relationship is devoid of the relationship issues i keep hearing about even without any effort required on my part, i still don't think i'd be able to enjoy it or appreciate it or cherish it or whatever it is you're supposed to do with a relationship. 

i blame microsoft

[GilloD]

actually this is probably the thing that's really frustrating and depressing me the most lately.  i don't have any sense of mystery or wonder left in my life anymore.  not only am i not accomplishing anything, i don't even really feel a desire to accomplish anything, or experience anything.  even if i could have a relationship or whatever, and let's say with the most wonderful woman in the world whatever that means, and let's say the relationship is devoid of the relationship issues i keep hearing about even without any effort required on my part, i still don't think i'd be able to enjoy it or appreciate it or cherish it or whatever it is you're supposed to do with a relationship. 

i blame microsoft

Join some clubs. I was in the same hole as you until one day I starting contacting organizations that sounded interesting to me asking if they eneded help. I met some amazing people, got to do some amazing things. It really put focus back in my life.

[Mr. Gundam]

Exactly. Move away from being a man child and into an adult. There's nothing wrong with liking "kid's stuff," but you need to learn where to draw the line. I like giant robots and I can be goofy at times, but I'm also a responsible adult who is able to hold down a job and co-manage a household with my wife.

As soon as I stopped covertly falling in love with my female friends and started asking girls out, I got lots of dates. You don't need to be an asshole, but you seriously need to move away from wanting to be good friends with every single girl you meet. This eventually led to me dating a girl from college and getting married.

If you can't do this on your own, go talk to someone, they can really help.

[recursivelyenumerable]

but on a not actually related note, the woman i was originally banned at GAF for posting a thread about is going to be back in town this weekend  

[Mr. Gundam]

You know what? Screw all the advice we've given you. Be yourself, go to Burning Man and fuck all the other adults who don't want to grow up. You'll have a blast.

[GilloD]

You know what? Screw all the advice we've given you. Be yourself, go to Burning Man and fuck all the other adults who don't want to grow up. You'll have a blast.

lul.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: You can do both. They're not mutually exclusive. But you have to have some kind of limits, a sort of boundary. Like, it's cool to be really happy with life and to enjoy a sunset and marvel at fine cheese. Maybe it's even okay to make up goofy words with someone you love. But you can't just say "LIFE IS WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNDERFUL" and ignore the gas bill or ignore the fact that people are dying in the streets in Iran. Life is wonderful, but it's also confusing and difficult and ugly, sometimes. 

[Mr. Gundam]

You know what? Screw all the advice we've given you. Be yourself, go to Burning Man and fuck all the other adults who don't want to grow up. You'll have a blast.

lul.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: You can do both. They're not mutually exclusive. But you have to have some kind of limits, a sort of boundary. Like, it's cool to be really happy with life and to enjoy a sunset and marvel at fine cheese. Maybe it's even okay to make up goofy words with someone you love. But you can't just say "LIFE IS WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNDERFUL" and ignore the gas bill or ignore the fact that people are dying in the streets in Iran. Life is wonderful, but it's also confusing and difficult and ugly, sometimes. 

  Balance

If this is too difficult to understand, I'd seriously recommend talking to someone. There is no shame in it.

[recursivelyenumerable]

balance is dumb.  was isaac newton balanced?

bebpo needs to find a worthy obsession to consume his life, and forget about relationships altogether.

[Barry Egan]

Does Bebpo strike you as the "Isaac Newton" type?

[recursivelyenumerable]

well he should try to become the isaac newton type by sheer force of will.

[recursivelyenumerable]

newton was a lifelong celibate, btw.  he considered it his greatest accomplishment.

[demi]

Great advice, let's all degrade Bebpo and call him pathetic

Hey Bebpo you kill yourself yet

[Tristam]

Fresh Prince and Jarosh both described exactly how you need to change your outlook: One, don't exclusively chase one sub-sub-subset of women; two, be a man, not a child.

But, back to your original query, you should work on finding clothes that fit your build. Yeah, I know that it's very difficult given your size, but I'm sure a lot of Japanese/Korean retailers carry clothes perfect for your size. Buy from them, or go with the XS sizes at the Gap and see how well they do.

recursive: Have you tried Accutane? I took it and it worked great. My acne was always mild, but it was also persistent in that it did not respond well to conventional treatments, and it always left red and pink marks behind. Accutane--surprisingly--smoothed everything out in addition to virtually eliminating all breakouts. But if you've seen a psychiatrist or something like that before, I'm not sure if a derm would prescribe it to you because depression is a common side effect.

But anyway, you're still a good-looking guy and, per your own admission, still get approached by women with some regularity. The problem is all in your head, but IIRC you've acknowledged that anyway.

[Fresh Prince]

,

Great advice, let's all degrade Bebpo and call him pathetic

Hey Bebpo you kill yourself yet

If you actually bothered to read his posts he'd never contemplate suicide but point taken.

Being positive is a good trait; there's not enough people like that once you start getting older. Just because you find someone superficial doesn't mean that they won't be interesting or even meaningful to you.

[Diunx]

Its the anime.

[Bebpo]

dude, I probably watch less than professor pole, jeez. 

I watch like 1 or 2 tv shows; maybe 50 mins a week.  That's less than most people watch non-anime tv per week!  I also only play videogames at night (or ds games on the toilet) these days when I've got no other plans and I don't feel like writing.  I've sort of grown out of anime/videogaming over the last yearish.  They just don't do much for me and I've gotten tired of being a receptive person enjoying the fruits of other's creativity and would rather use the time to create things myself for myself.

...but I still think certain anime make better badass looking avatars than real people/games/whatever so fuck you all I'm sticking with my gundam avatars yo!

[Diunx]

Yeah but prole is married, also lose the ds and get something cool like a psp or a phone with the ability to edit you facebook.

[duckman2000]

The sourcunt mafia doling out life advise, smh.

[Bebpo]

I actually appreciate the advice of some people like Distantmantra, Kosma, Gillod, Green Man (uh, how do you shave your chest without it burning and stinging for days after???), Chipopo just sounds like the old guy from UP at the start when he was all DAMN YOU AND YOUR FUN grumpy though.

Like I feel if there's one thing I learned here it's that me avoiding serious talk is selfish because it makes other people feel like they can't talk about certain things with me.  Also I think I was kinda dick with this last situation because I was the one mainly starting the conversations early on and then I developed a crush and it was one-sided and put her in an awkward situation.  I actually didn't like her in an attraction way at first (she's sorta asian and I just don't find myself attracted to asian girls) but she was awesome and her art was inspiring and made me work to be a better artist and better person.  Even if things went awkward I'm still soooooo glad I met her because my life is much better now and has more direction.  Also we are still friends but it's on the downlow and might be for a little while (we were talking every single day online for 2-4 hours a night for 3-4 weeks; my im log is probably like 100 pages, lol) but I think after some time it'll be more normal and how it was at first before I had a crush on her and we just got along and had fun talking and learning.  I'm actually feeling pretty over it and alright now.  Was surprised that I only really went emo mode for like 24 hours after the rejection, but I never actually met her in person so I think that's why it didn't hurt as much as rejections with people I had actually spent lots of time in person with and had smiles and memories in my mind.  I re-wrote my online dating profile and am working on opening dialogues with various people atm.

When I say I avoid the serious stuff I guess that's too much of a blanket statement.  I still talk about real things plenty; what I did today; what the person did; advice on friends/relations; past relations; etc... it's just when I can I prefer to inject silly random funny into conversations and cheer the other person up; get them laughing and happy and smiling and not feeling so down about real things.  And it's not that I don't follow politics and know how things work in the real world; I mean I can tell you what sports team is in the lead for the finals, it's just that I would prefer to talk about more interesting things like space and dreams especially if the person I am talking to likewise has no interest in sports/politics.  I probably do talk about 60/40 with silly fun & real talk.  Or maybe 70/30; but I prefer one side to the other.  I should work on balance and being more open and accepting of serious conversation.

I'm going to law school because I'd like to change the world.  Even if I know that's probably impossible it's still a goal/dream I'd like to have to change some of the rules in society that are distinguished mentally-challenged and hurt things instead of help them.  My other reason I'm going to be a lawyer in a year or two is I want a job that makes enough money that I can help the people I care about when they are in trouble; whether it's friends or family or lovers.

Anyhow this was a longer post that I planned to make.  But I have learned some things and I appreciate the advice from you all.

[Kestastrophe]

bebpo is right though.  being a naive loser >>>> being a jaded cynical loser, take it from someone who's degraded from the former to the latter

yup. it seems like the more you know (or think you know), the more of a burden that knowledge becomes.

[Bebpo]

For the okc guys, here's my rewritten profile.  I like it  and think it has a good balance of real & silly without sounding boring or too stupid.  Lemme know what you think.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DAV_in_reality

[demi]

"I am Random, Happy, and Optimistic"

haha

[Bebpo]

"I am Random, Happy, and Optimistic"

haha

I love you too demi 

[CurseoftheGods]

For the okc guys, here's my rewritten profile.  I like it  and think it has a good balance of real & silly without sounding boring or too stupid.  Lemme know what you think.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DAV_in_reality

I like it! However, I think you should remove the robots and dinosaurs bit. It's a guaranteed turn off, in my limited experience at least.