Tales of Sexual Woe

[demi]

I tried to have sex in Chicago and even the gay guy wouldn't let me hit it.  :'(

[CajoleJuice]

I went into a gay bar with a friend and I didn't even get hit on once.

[etiolate]

14 year old orgy? wtf

[demi]

14 year old orgy? wtf

black

[Flannel Boy]

I went into a gay bar with a friend and I didn't even get hit on once.

And people claim gay men have taste? 

[Himu]

14 year old orgy? wtf

Not all of us were 14 dude. The organization houses middle schoolers to high schoolers, thus age range was 12 years old to at the very least 18.

[CajoleJuice]

I went into a gay bar with a friend and I didn't even get hit on once.

And people claim gay men have taste? 

I KNOW. Some guy ran his hand through my friend's hair. Fucking slut.

[Beezy]

This thread is getting better.

[demi]

I've also had sex in a JCpenney's changing room, it was in Ohio though.

I've done it in a car, of course, who hasn't? countless times

Hot tubs, showers, the ocean in Florida with hundreds of people around me.

You are a slut. Shock.

[G The Resurrected]

Jesus you guys have really had some woes. I'm not gonna even go into some of my woes. But i've had lots of blue balls thats for sure.

[Beezy]

 

[Himu]

I was cock blocked at church camp.

At church camp I was macking with this girl all week so I could tap that. Yeah, it's church camp but who cares, lots of people were fucking over there. So anyways on the night I was going to make my move, she knew what I was going to try and she wanted to do it too...however, her roommate wouldn't fucking leave and my roommate was sleep already. Goddamn that bitch was so clueless. She just kept talking and talking and by the time she went out to another friend's room she totally killed the mood.

my first night in college I got so drunk I passed out while some girl was giving me a handjob.  She left but she also didn't shut the door so I lay there all night, comatose with the door wide open and my dick hanging out out of my pants.

 

[Christopher]

Ok here's sorta an awkward one...

Now I don't think I'm a bad looking guy, it's just that ever since I was young I always lacked something my friends had with the ladies, that charm, or I guess inner confidence ladies love.  I never quite got it, and still to this day don't...I mean I no pussy or nothing like that it's just that I HATE rejection so I kinna don't put myself in the situation to feel it.

Ok so we're at a party freshman year of college and this is when I first hit the frat/party scene and it was amazing I like danced with a lot of girls, got compliments left and right and for once kinna really felt good about myself.

So after a couple of weeks I kinna started to get into this "groove" and knew what worked and what didn't at these parties...so one night I was talking with my friends and on the dance floor some girl pulled my arm and started dancing with me and I said to myself ok cool let me go for it, so I started dancing and started to feel more, and so did she...believe me.  So whatever we stopped and she met back up with her friends, and my friend came up to me and was like dude those are high school girls here...ugh she was only 16 I mean I was 19 at the time but it kinna weirded me out :\.

Another time I pulled out and accidently jizzed on my girlfrineds stomach and I apoloized like crazy - and she said wow you made that awkward, I still don't know what that meant, but I felt so weird for like a couple of days.

meh nothing hardcore or exiciting like some of you guys

[Mupepe]

hahaha "you made that awkward"

[Phoenix Dark]

WTF Christopher you are very good looking, and you are built. Girls don't find you attractive?

[Christopher]

Read my post PD...

[ToxicAdam]

Thanks to everyone that shared in this thread. This forum has some awesome posters when they take their time and respond.

[Boogie]

WTF Christopher you are very good looking, and you are built. Girls don't find you attractive?

Dude, what has been my situation until five months ago?

I can see the nervous thing being a problem. Right now I have an idea of how I'd like it to happen, but things rarely go as planned. I'm rather shy so being nude in front of someone could be bad (despite my flasher mindset).

I wish there was a society of women who specialized in having sex with virgins. That would make things easier, because I sure as hell don't want to have sex with a chick, explode after a couple minutes, and then feel all embarrassed

Without any of the bullshit forum drama, I say this:  If you end up dating someone for a little while and want to progress to sex and are comfortable enough with her, tell her you are a virgin and that you have some nerves about your first time.

[demi]

WTF Christopher you are very good looking, and you are built. Girls don't find you attractive?

Dude, what has been my situation until five months ago?

You come across as extremely selective and prude.

[Candyflip]

Another time I pulled out and accidently jizzed on my girlfrineds stomach and I apoloized like crazy - and she said wow you made that awkward, I still don't know what that meant, but I felt so weird for like a couple of days.

Uhh, this doesn't even seem like that big of a deal.

[Mupepe]

that's why it's funny.  he made it into a big deal for some reason      "you made this awkward"   such an awesome phrase.

[Candyflip]

that's why it's funny.  he made it into a big deal for some reason      "you made this awkward"   such an awesome phrase.

Ohh. I thought him blowing his load on her stomach made it awkward.

[brawndolicious]

I just touched my grand aunt's breast.  I mean she's like 4' 6'' and I was just sitting and watching the warrior's game when she walked by and hit my shoulder with her breast.

[Mupepe]

I just touched my grand aunt's breast.  I mean she's like 4' 6'' and I was just sitting and watching the warrior's game when she walked by and hit my shoulder with her breast.

did she wink at you?

[brawndolicious]

no she just kind of like coughed and grunted.

[Phoenix Dark]

Was she watching the game? Damn Golden State kicked ass

[brawndolicious]

I don't think she speaks english.  I think she just came over to smack some kids that were talking too loudly and figured "ah, fuck it" and walked away and gave me some action.

[xnikki118x]

I don't think I have any terrible sex stories. I've never been walked in on or anything. I think I fell off the bed once? That's probably the extent of it.

[Phoenix Dark]

I don't think she speaks english.  I think she just came over to smack some kids that were talking too loudly and figured "ah, fuck it" and walked away and gave me some action.

She's your grand aunt and you don't know if she speaks english or not? eh...

[brawndolicious]

I don't memorize these things, I see her like twice a year.

[Catz]

I don't think I have any terrible sex stories. I've never been walked in on or anything. I think I fell off the bed once? That's probably the extent of it.

Same here No awful or wild stories. I think the wildest place is in a hot tub or stairwell.

[Mupepe]

I don't think I have any terrible sex stories. I've never been walked in on or anything. I think I fell off the bed once? That's probably the extent of it.

Same here No awful or wild stories. I think the wildest place is in a hot tub or stairwell.

so our experiences weren't THAT awful? whew

[etiolate]

Breaking in virgins is woe

I thought sex with a virgin would be.. neat or a little more intimate, but really it was just awkward and painful.  We didn't even finish, she was just in too much pain and the wincing and crying started turning me off. Not her fault or anything, but it was just a slow cautious process that wasn't fun at all.

[Mupepe]

meh, with a virgin, i was only gentle in the beginning and then i went to town like regular and laughed at her tears (i didn't really laugh and she didn't really cry).  But maybe it's because i'm a lot smaller than the average guy 

[demi]

I don't think I have any terrible sex stories. I've never been walked in on or anything. I think I fell off the bed once? That's probably the extent of it.

Same here No awful or wild stories. I think the wildest place is in a hot tub or stairwell.

PLEASE tell me this was before Prost.

[xnikki118x]

I don't think I have any terrible sex stories. I've never been walked in on or anything. I think I fell off the bed once? That's probably the extent of it.

Same here No awful or wild stories. I think the wildest place is in a hot tub or stairwell.

Never in a hot tub or stairwell. I wouldn't wanna do it in a hot tub though--it's supposed to be bad for your girl parts because the bacteria gets shoved up there or something.

Kids in my high school used to have sex on stairwells all the time. Two freshmen got caight doing it a few years ago and it was in the paper and everything, and they were suspended.

[Mupepe]

back in highschool, two theater nerds got caught fucking in the auditorium on the stage.  so awesome.

[Smooth Groove]

back in highschool, two theater nerds got caught fucking in the auditorium on the stage.  so awesome.

In College, my slut neighbor was getting banged right outside my door next to the hall window.  My roomate could see everything through the door's peep hole.  I was going to embarrass them by pretending to take out the trash but my roomate was too wussy to let me do it. 

[Himu]

back in highschool, two theater nerds got caught fucking in the auditorium on the stage.  so awesome.

Really?

In Junior year or something, they found two homosexual guys blowing eachother's cocks in the stall.

Another time, they found out this poor girl was giving out blow jobs in the stall for 10 dollars a bj. I got one. She got caught but they didn't do anything because she her reasons for doing it was because she was in such poor financial shape.

There was also the teacher who went to parties and brought booze, and was fucking this football player. She came the year after we graduated.

[Yeti]

Back in high school you could rent these video cameras from the library. Apparently these two guys had checked out one of these cameras and used it for a fuck session and then returned it without recording over it.  It was huge gossip all over our school for awhile, everyone had thought they were straight.

oh yeah, also there was this girl in a couple of my classes who had a reputation for being a total slut. I never really believed them because she was always pretty nice to me, I didn't get a bad girl vibe from her at all. Well apparently I was wrong, because when I returned to school after summer break one year I found out that she had been having sex with our psychiatry teacher and they had run off to Arizona or somewhere and gotten married. I suspect she was pregnant.

[Mr. Gundam]

Beezy do you have any stories? I have the smores ready to go

Nothing like what I've read in this thread. Basically this chick was horny and kept dropping hints, I was too dumb or slow to realize it

I had the same thing happen about five years ago. It didn't help that my drunk friend looked like she was about to die, so I was concerned about her well-being.

I found out the next week that this girl who I totally blew it with was going to let me do whatever I wanted to her. Oh well.

[pollo]

This girl and I were hooking up and I needed condoms.
But turns out all she had were these Hello Kitty ones from Japan.

She was fat and smelled afterwards.

[pollo]

I also broke the same girl in. I thought she was much more experienced just cause of the way she acted and she was a Senior -- but no. Next thing I know my stains are all covered in BLOOD WHAT THE FUCK

I was freaking out cause my Mom would not have enjoyed seeing those stains.

But then I was like -- wtf im dorming

So I made her wash my sheets.

[Mupepe]

spencer, i would have donkey punched a bitch for that

[Ichirou]

spencer, i would have donkey punched a bitch for that

More evidence for the Mupepe dossier. Thanks, buddy

[pollo]

i was chewing gum and it fell out and got stuck in my girlfriend's hair. I was trying to hide my laughter and when she saw my face she was like "What?" And I just kept going. Then I just burst out laughing and told her. She was fucking pissed.

[Himu]

In 8th grade, my best gal friend at church who I secretly had a crush on (and still like highly to this day) took me outside and we were talking and stuff. Then out of nowhere she said,"Psst Garrett, would you like me to try this?" and she pretended like she was sucking a dick. I was too embarassed so I just said,"Um...no! What are you talking about? Are you crazy? We're at church!"

Oh God. To this day I regret it. It is one of the things I wish I could change in the past.

[Phoenix Dark]

In 8th grade, my best gal friend at church who I secretly had a crush on (and still like highly to this day) took me outside and we were talking and stuff. Then out of nowhere she said,"Psst Garrett, would you like me to try this?" and she pretended like she was sucking a dick. I was too embarassed so I just said,"Um...no! What are you talking about? Are you crazy? We're at church!"

Oh God. To this day I regret it. It is one of the things I wish I could change in the past.

Holy shit no wonder black people are the main sufferers of AIDS

[Himu]

......

Dude, many people get laid when they're like...14 or 15, no matter what race. Shit, I got my first blow job in fucking middle school. Ask Ed, he probably did too.

[Phoenix Dark]

......

Dude, many people get laid when they're like...14 or 15, no matter what race. Shit, I got my first blow job in fucking middle school. Ask Ed

OMG

[Cheebs]

PD was homeschooled Himu, don't forget.

And PD, in middle schools kids were dating and all over eachother. It was pretty normal.

[Stocky]

Cheebs seems to think beards and goatees are out of style, like a fucking homo.

[Phoenix Dark]

You aren't the only one who thinks that

[Cheebs]

Cheebs seems to think beards and goatees are out of style, like a fucking homo.

I don't see ANYONE my age in college (at least who are white) have them other than like hippie looking people.

[Phoenix Dark]

I bet you no other man in EMU wears red glasses either

[Stocky]

Cheebs seems to think beards and goatees are out of style, like a fucking homo.

I don't see ANYONE my age in gay college (at least who are white) have them other than like hippie looking people.

Fixed for faggotry.

[Cheebs]

I bet you no other man in EMU wears red glasses either

dark red! And come on there are no white guys at EMU with beards other than the hippie looking crowd

[Stocky]

I bet you no other man in EMU wears red glasses either

dark red! And come on there are no white guys at gay EMU with beards other than the hippie looking crowd

Fixed for faggotry.

[Phoenix Dark]

I bet you no other man in EMU wears red glasses either

dark red! And come on there are no white guys at EMU with beards other than the hippie looking crowd

I bet they're bright red and borderline pink. 

I've seen more than a few people in my classes with manly beards. And they get all the women

[Stocky]

I'm not shaving for 6 months, and I fucking guarantee that.