Author Topic: How will you die? (Read 4766 times)

whiteACID · « **on:** November 16, 2006, 12:35:09 PM »

http://evil.berzerker.net/death_predictions.php

Theresa: At age 35 you will refuse to give a quarter to a beggar. Immediately afterwards you will be hit by a bus.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #1 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:38:17 PM »

Will Federman: At age 67 a statue will fall over and crush you while giving your acceptance speech for the position of Governor.

Awesome.

Wobedraggled · « **Reply #2 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:40:20 PM »

Michael: At age 79 a tiger will maul you. Don't ask why, but you will be in a Burmese jungle.

Sweet, I didn't expect to make it to 65

Saint Cornelius · « **Reply #3 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:42:30 PM »

Tim: death by snoo snoo

Word!

cubicle47b · « **Reply #4 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:42:52 PM »

This thread would be better if everyone in it predicted how they were going to die.

I've always had this fear that I'm going to get some type of cancer and having no wife to stop me I'd decide to do nothing about it. But that's only if I didn't lose a tire or control of my car while traveling at high speeds through the mountains (which I do a lot, since I cross them to visit just about anyone).

whiteACID · « **Reply #5 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:43:50 PM »

I'm not going to die

cubicle47b · « **Reply #6 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:44:57 PM »

I thought you were going to get hit by a bus?

whiteACID · « **Reply #7 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:45:31 PM »

It won't kill me, only make me stronger

Wobedraggled · « **Reply #8 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:47:49 PM »

I will probably die on the can or whacking off.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #9 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:48:06 PM »

i suspect i'll die in traffic somehow

EDIT: Doug Erickson: At age 85 you will be struck by lightning while trying to move the antenna beside your mobile home in order to pick up late night adult movies. fuckin' YES

Saint Cornelius · « **Reply #10 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:48:17 PM »

Just tie me up and set me off on someone's lawn

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #11 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:50:33 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on November 16, 2006, 12:48:06 PM

Doug Erickson: At age 85 you will be struck by lightning while trying to move the antenna beside your mobile home in order to pick up late night adult movies. fuckin' YES

Best one so far,

TVC15 · « **Reply #12 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:52:12 PM »

White Man: At age 49 you will die from wounds delivered by a blender after trying to make your sixteenth magarita of the day. (And it's on 3:00pm, shame on you!)

Prost · « **Reply #13 on:** November 16, 2006, 12:53:12 PM »

Steven: At age 65 you will realize that you actually died three years earlier, and have been dreaming all the events since then.

Saint Cornelius · « **Reply #14 on:** November 16, 2006, 01:00:46 PM »

Quote from: Prost on November 16, 2006, 12:53:12 PM

Steven: passes out after catching wifey with the mailman, Saint Cornelius and the ghost of Steve Irwin; hits head on the floor & dies instantly

APF · « **Reply #15 on:** November 16, 2006, 01:03:08 PM »

Adam: At age 54 you will fall from the fifth floor window of a hotel while under the influence of Robitussin DM.

TUSSIN

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #16 on:** November 16, 2006, 01:03:14 PM »

Why Steve Irwin?

TVC15 · « **Reply #17 on:** November 16, 2006, 01:08:15 PM »

Quote from: APF on November 16, 2006, 01:03:08 PM

Adam: At age 54 you will fall from the fifth floor window of a hotel while under the influence of Robitussin DM.

TUSSIN

Although that's not the kind you should consume to get high.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #18 on:** November 16, 2006, 01:17:24 PM »

Triumph: At age 45 your head will explode after being exposed to Britney Spears for thirty-six consecutive hours!

[Real Name]: At age 72 after your spouse leaves you and your children disown you, you will go to work to find that you have been fired. This all proves too much to take. You decide to take a walk in the park but are robbed and murdered before you get there.

I don't know what to think of all this.

Saint Cornelius · « **Reply #19 on:** November 16, 2006, 01:18:01 PM »

Oh Jesus, Triumph. You can tell your real name, nobody is going to PD you

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #20 on:** November 16, 2006, 01:20:04 PM »

Quote from: Saint Cornelius on November 16, 2006, 01:18:01 PM

Oh Jesus, Triumph. You can tell your real name, nobody is going to PD you

Sorry man, I've had someone steal my identity once over the interwebs.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's a lame name, anyhow. Here: Arian. See?

[close]

Saint Cornelius · « **Reply #21 on:** November 16, 2006, 01:22:14 PM »

Were your parents into Ayn Rand or something?

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #22 on:** November 16, 2006, 01:23:02 PM »

Quote from: Saint Cornelius on November 16, 2006, 01:22:14 PM

Were your parents into Ayn Rand or something?

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #23 on:** November 16, 2006, 01:27:24 PM »

ALONE LIKE CAPTAIN KIRK

Mupepe · « **Reply #24 on:** November 16, 2006, 01:38:37 PM »

Probably from some sort of STD.

Cheebs · « **Reply #25 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:05:48 PM »

Quote from: MrAngryFace on November 16, 2006, 01:27:24 PM

ALONE LIKE CAPTAIN KIRK

HE DIED WITH PICARD

BlackMage · « **Reply #26 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:06:18 PM »

Jonathan Willingham: At age 62 you will pass in your sleep from undiscerned natural causes. Unfortunately you will be sleeping nude in a local shopping mall.

no surprises here.

G The Resurrected · « **Reply #27 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:09:19 PM »

Garrett: At age 65 you will be hit by a train while napping on the railroad tracks.
Garrett (fullname): At age 27 you will pass in your sleep from undiscerned natural causes. Unfortunately you will be sleeping nude in a local shopping mall.

Cheebs · « **Reply #28 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:18:00 PM »

I only have 11 years left...

Jake: At age 31 you will die in a fiery golf-cart crash, alcohol will be involved.

cloudwalking · « **Reply #29 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:24:25 PM »

Lauren: At age 58 you will perish under strange circumstances involving a gallon of lotion, two nine volt batteries, and a photograph of a bicycle.

Sounds hot.

Cyanista · « **Reply #30 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:25:13 PM »

Ashley: At age 49 you will fall into a vat of neutral shoe polish, and your body will never be recovered.

That's not very dignified

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #31 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:26:02 PM »

49 is a good age to die - you've already experience all you could.

Disposable White Guy · « **Reply #32 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:41:33 PM »

At age 9 a large monkey will beat you to death, using the antiquated art of fisticuffs.

Hear that? I'm already dead. So that must mean...

Watch out for the microwave!

Mondain · « **Reply #33 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:47:12 PM »

Olivier: you will live until the Canadiens win their next Stanley Cup.

Eh well you guys ain't ever gonna be done with me, sorry.

Christopher · « **Reply #34 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:49:38 PM »

Christopher: At age 42 you will participate in the newest reality game show. Contestants battle each other in an arena with swords and spears. You will have a good run (12+ victories) but eventually be killed, much to the audience's dismay.

um gay and why does wearing a what have to do with anything?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #35 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:52:31 PM »

Quote from: Disposable White Guy on November 16, 2006, 02:41:33 PM

Watch out for the microwave!

I saved that to my HD!

Ecrofirt · « **Reply #36 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:53:20 PM »

James: At age 46 you will die from an equipment malfunction in an exciting, fear based reality game show. Your death will receive the highest ratings of any episode of any reality show, ever.

FUCK.
YES.

Bacon · « **Reply #37 on:** November 16, 2006, 03:43:19 PM »

Alone and sad.

Mupepe · « **Reply #38 on:** November 16, 2006, 04:56:41 PM »

Edward: At age 46 you will be trampled by a mob of rabid people at the opening of X-Men 17.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #39 on:** November 16, 2006, 05:00:17 PM »

Joel: At age 67 a truly fanatic fan of your spoken word works will stalk you and torture you for a period of weeks. After refusing to sign any more autographs, the fan will kill you.

I'LL BE FAMOUS

brawndolicious · « **Reply #40 on:** November 16, 2006, 05:06:11 PM »

Quote

sarmad: At age 64 you will be struck by lightning while trying to move the antenna beside your mobile home in order to pick up late night adult movies.

Oh fuck.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #41 on:** November 16, 2006, 05:36:11 PM »

Ryan Thompson: At age 41 you will take a near lethal dose of mescaline, wander the desert for six months, and eventually be eaten by coyotes.

-- AWESOME

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #42 on:** November 16, 2006, 05:38:39 PM »

Maurice : At age 58 you will be eaten by birds in Manhattan's Central Park; you will still be a virgin

Huh $:-\$

DJ_Tet · « **Reply #43 on:** November 16, 2006, 05:45:10 PM »

Brian: At age 63 you will die lonely and alone.

Weak! 33 more years of this shit??

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #44 on:** November 16, 2006, 05:58:15 PM »

lonely no doubt as a result of being alone

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #45 on:** November 16, 2006, 05:58:50 PM »

Jeremy: At age 57 you will drown in a wading pool under mysterious circumstances. The only clue will be a metal dogtag found around your neck

Oooh mysterious

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #46 on:** November 16, 2006, 06:01:02 PM »

Srsly.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #47 on:** November 16, 2006, 06:03:03 PM »

Srsly!

;_;

Catz · « **Reply #48 on:** November 16, 2006, 07:28:12 PM »

Denise: At age 29

omg, it didn't even list a cause of death....

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #49 on:** November 16, 2006, 07:28:44 PM »

at least it didnt say:

"THE CAUSE OF DEATH IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!"

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #50 on:** November 16, 2006, 07:29:20 PM »

Catz is gonna die soon

Mupepe · « **Reply #51 on:** November 16, 2006, 07:43:51 PM »

Quote from: Catz on November 16, 2006, 07:28:12 PM

Denise: At age 29

omg, it didn't even list a cause of death....

That's because either Neo is going to save you, or he's going to enter the mainframe. The future still isn't certain.

Quote

Error 666

The webpage cannot load beyond choices we don't understand.

DJ_Tet · « **Reply #52 on:** November 16, 2006, 09:48:50 PM »

Quote from: MrAngryFace on November 16, 2006, 05:58:15 PM

lonely no doubt as a result of being alone

I know, why don't they just beat my isolation into my skull next time!

Vizzys · « **Reply #53 on:** November 16, 2006, 10:13:00 PM »

At age 69 you will start sleeping more and more. After six months of this you will be sleeping 19 hours a day. By month seven, you do not wake up anymore. You cease breathing during month nine.

Lame.

FlameOfCallandor · « **Reply #54 on:** November 16, 2006, 10:14:22 PM »

At age 56 you will participate in the newest reality game show. Contestants battle each other in an arena with swords and spears. You will have a good run (12+ victories) but eventually be killed, much to the audience's dismay.

Boogie · « **Reply #55 on:** November 16, 2006, 10:18:17 PM »

Quote from: Bacon on November 16, 2006, 03:43:19 PM

Alone and sad.

damn beaten.

Aaron: At age 38 you will die fighting the Global War on Terrorism in Mexico.

Shuri · « **Reply #56 on:** November 16, 2006, 10:21:13 PM »

Probably stabbed this weekend. I'm going to an ex gf's house for a 3 days non stop bang fest. I wonder if her recent boyfriend will show up and kill me. Theres a lot of tension between us.

If you guys dont see me around by monday night, i'll be dead. I'm not kidding

Vizzys · « **Reply #57 on:** November 16, 2006, 10:35:19 PM »

Awesome. Taking deadly risks ftw.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #58 on:** November 16, 2006, 10:37:37 PM »

blackAcid is going to die on Saturday night

whiteACID · « **Reply #59 on:** November 16, 2006, 10:40:28 PM »

we will see come Sunday Morning

News:

Author Topic: How will you die? (Read 4766 times)