Author Topic: Movie News, Reviews, and Discussion Super-Thread  (Read 5372872 times)

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Raist

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27420 on: August 03, 2017, 05:42:08 AM »
Here we go :lol


Coax

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27421 on: August 03, 2017, 07:03:53 AM »
What the hell. Pssh, trailer looked boss. Count me as one of the 98%.

Mupepe

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27422 on: August 03, 2017, 07:47:19 AM »
yeah wizard and glass is the best of the series and pretty much immediately after that the whole thing nose dives. Wolves of Calla is alright, but song of s is super bad and the final book is even worse

if you're gonna adapt any of these books the original (gunslinger) and (w&g) are your best bets.
I agree with this except saying that anything is better than Songs of Susannah.  The only thing that stupid book has going for it is that it's so damn short. 

Mupepe

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27423 on: August 03, 2017, 07:48:41 AM »
At this rate I'm planning on getting through Wizard & The Glass and then reading Wikipedia summaries. I feel like the pacing is pretty slow in the second half of book 2 and first half of book 3. It's an interesting story but just feels like the episodic format means not much happens per book rather than each book being a self-contained exciting novel. All the Jake stuff is kinda zzz where I'm at.

Wizard and Glass has Blaine the Mono, and thus is redeemed from mediocrity and catapulted into Stephen King good stuff.
W&G is the one where the world building is finally put to use.  It really is the pinnacle of the series even if the pacing is slow.  I would read W&G and Wikipedia or skim the others if you want to after that.

Raist

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27424 on: August 03, 2017, 07:53:17 AM »
What the hell. Pssh, trailer looked boss. Count me as one of the 98%.

A <90mins movie, based on a complex series of 7 books that got derailed towards the last 3rd because the author went "What do I do with this now. Ah well fuck it", and that has been in development hell forever and seen countless writer/director changes.

What could have possibly gone wrong?  :doge

Mupepe

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27425 on: August 03, 2017, 08:09:10 AM »
18% isn't bad.  I think we can all agree that most of the world is filled with stupid people - including critics.  What this tells me is that we have a modern classic on our hands that just isn't understood in our own time.

Oblivion

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27426 on: August 03, 2017, 08:25:37 AM »
The new Pirates movie is hot garbage. Excessively long, and needlessly convoluted. This is the fifth goddamned movie about some stupid curse. Do we really need another curse? They also made Jack an incredibly useless character for most of the film, which is a pretty bad idea considering he's supposed to be your biggest selling point.

Don't watch this piece. Watch One Piece instead.

Yeti

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27427 on: August 03, 2017, 08:37:36 AM »
I want it to be good, but I've got a bad feeling about it.  :(
WDW

TVC15

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27428 on: August 03, 2017, 11:14:31 AM »
The new Pirates movie is hot garbage. Excessively long, and needlessly convoluted. This is the fifth goddamned movie about some stupid curse. Do we really need another curse? They also made Jack an incredibly useless character for most of the film, which is a pretty bad idea considering he's supposed to be your biggest selling point.

Don't watch this piece. Watch One Piece instead.

Why would you willingly even watch this? Did you run out of peanut butter to lure street dogs into chewing on your balls or something?
serge

TVC15

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27429 on: August 03, 2017, 11:22:40 AM »
I'm hoping it hits 10% after all the critics get a chance to see it today. In the best of all possible worlds, this would end up below The Emoji Movie.
serge

Tasty

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27430 on: August 03, 2017, 11:46:39 AM »
The Fog (1980)

One of Carpenter's weaker films, but it has at least a half-dozen really tense moments or well-executed jump scares, plus an amazing score (as expected.) It apes a lot from Jaws and the mythology and plot are fairly boilerplate.

3 / 5

thisismyusername

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27431 on: August 03, 2017, 11:54:49 AM »
At this rate I'm planning on getting through Wizard & The Glass and then reading Wikipedia summaries. I feel like the pacing is pretty slow in the second half of book 2 and first half of book 3. It's an interesting story but just feels like the episodic format means not much happens per book rather than each book being a self-contained exciting novel. All the Jake stuff is kinda zzz where I'm at.

Unrelated, but: That's where I am with the Witcher novels. The short-story collection(s) were good because they were fast paced and done in like 2-3 chapters. I'm in the middle of the third novel of like 6-7 and it's focusing on Ciri and Geralt's struggles to raise her, which is all well and good but there is a distinct lack of self-contained story in the novels.

Raist

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27432 on: August 03, 2017, 11:56:52 AM »
Those review quotes :rofl

Quote
At a mere ninety minutes, it feels like one of those YouTube fan edits of an entire series.

Quote
Astoundingly awful.

Quote
"The Dark Tower" is a near-total whiff, a mess of a movie that took forever to get made and by the look of things should have taken about twice that long. Or maybe just never have been made at all.

Quote
August 3, 2017
Between his GQ appearance and drawling psychobabble, Matthew McConaughey plays the villain as if he's filming an extended version of a Lincoln commercial.

Quote
This movie just made every wrong decision about what it wanted to be when it grew up.

Quote
What could have been the next Game of Thrones or The Lord of the Rings is instead more akin to a 1990s Steven Seagal movie (and not one of the good ones).

Joe Molotov

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27433 on: August 03, 2017, 11:59:06 AM »
At least the Emoji Movie had all the emojis, this one just has Meh.
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TVC15

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27434 on: August 03, 2017, 12:07:41 PM »
The Fog (1980)

One of Carpenter's weaker films, but it has at least a half-dozen really tense moments or well-executed jump scares, plus an amazing score (as expected.) It apes a lot from Jaws and the mythology and plot are fairly boilerplate.

3 / 5

I'd probably rate it similarly, but it holds a special place in my heart. It's got a great atmosphere going on and it has a really neat "of its time" look--I'd have no interest in seeing a seriously remastered version of this. It's one of my favorite Adrienne Barbeau performances (outside of say, her glorious performance in Creepshow) and I don't think she has ever looked more fantastic than she does in The Fog. It's also paced torpidly at times and you really have to be in the mood to watch it, which isn't a problem you see in most (any?) other of the Carpenter flicks.
serge

Mupepe

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27435 on: August 03, 2017, 12:28:38 PM »
At least the Emoji Movie had all the emojis, this one just has Meh.
God.Damn.It.  Fuck you.  :lol

Mupepe

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27436 on: August 03, 2017, 12:29:20 PM »
I'm going to get drunk when I go see it tonight.  It's amazing how they managed to blow perfect casting and what should have been a reasonable budget for the first movie. 

toku

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27437 on: August 03, 2017, 12:41:54 PM »
What's crazy is the first book is so straight forward and simple. There's no reason it shouldn't be easy to adapt into a solid 90 minute film. The book is like 160 pages long. "The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed." That's literally all there is to it.

TVC15

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27438 on: August 03, 2017, 12:42:21 PM »
Quote
The Dark Tower doesn’t even really do us the courtesy of being laughably bad. That would take some level of ambition, which the movie studiously avoids at almost every turn. Instead, it simply exists, eager to be overlooked and forgotten.

A failure by every standard of film enjoyment. The Dark Tower ended up worse than The Room. Enjoy, Mups.
serge

Mupepe

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27439 on: August 03, 2017, 12:51:03 PM »
What's crazy is the first book is so straight forward and simple. There's no reason it shouldn't be easy to adapt into a solid 90 minute film. The book is like 160 pages long. "The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed." That's literally all there is to it.
Exactly.  They were afraid that they wouldn't be able to hook the audience without doing all the world building from the next books so they crammed some lore into it.  A sci fi Western should have been cheap enough to make that it could have turned a profit just from curious King fans and WOM.  This was all so unnecessary :'( :'(

Quote
The Dark Tower doesn’t even really do us the courtesy of being laughably bad. That would take some level of ambition, which the movie studiously avoids at almost every turn. Instead, it simply exists, eager to be overlooked and forgotten.

A failure by every standard of film enjoyment. The Dark Tower ended up worse than The Room. Enjoy, Mups.
Never seen The Room so I still win.

TVC15

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27440 on: August 03, 2017, 12:54:17 PM »
Stay at home and see The Room. I’ll watch with you via discord or whatever it is teens use for cybersex these days. We can make a bore event of it.
serge

Mupepe

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27441 on: August 03, 2017, 12:58:30 PM »
Can my wife join in?

Raist

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27442 on: August 03, 2017, 01:01:01 PM »
What's crazy is the first book is so straight forward and simple. There's no reason it shouldn't be easy to adapt into a solid 90 minute film. The book is like 160 pages long. "The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed." That's literally all there is to it.

It was never designed as an adaptation of the first book though.

TVC15

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27443 on: August 03, 2017, 01:02:47 PM »
Can my wife join in?

Sure. We can make it a bore-wide event.
serge

G The Resurrected

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27444 on: August 03, 2017, 01:22:03 PM »
I still haven't received my bluray or boxers from Tommy so fuck him.

I wanna watch the movie though

Great Rumbler

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27445 on: August 03, 2017, 01:32:01 PM »
What's crazy is the first book is so straight forward and simple. There's no reason it shouldn't be easy to adapt into a solid 90 minute film. The book is like 160 pages long. "The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed." That's literally all there is to it.

It was never designed as an adaptation of the first book though.

Whelp, there's your problem.
dog

Joe Molotov

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27446 on: August 03, 2017, 02:01:00 PM »
Stay at home and see The Room. I’ll watch with you via discord or whatever it is teens use for cybersex these days. We can make a bore event of it.

Just another observation: The Room has some juicy, juicy sex scenes, The Dark Tower is PG-13 so it will not.
©@©™

TVC15

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27447 on: August 03, 2017, 02:01:58 PM »
The Room has like two lengthy sex scenes in the first 20 or so minutes (the second, uh, reusing some shots from the first).  But I'm pretty sure Tommy is fucking that chick's belly button.
serge

Raist

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27448 on: August 03, 2017, 02:07:10 PM »
What's crazy is the first book is so straight forward and simple. There's no reason it shouldn't be easy to adapt into a solid 90 minute film. The book is like 160 pages long. "The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed." That's literally all there is to it.

It was never designed as an adaptation of the first book though.

Whelp, there's your problem.

I think the real problem is trying to make a movie based on these books. TV show? Mayyybe.

Joe Molotov

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27449 on: August 03, 2017, 02:09:26 PM »
The bully button is the final frontier of orifices.
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Mupepe

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27450 on: August 03, 2017, 02:11:48 PM »
Fuck it.  Bought my tickets and bought them for Cinemark's premier XD screen or whatever.  I figure if my childhood dream is going to suck balls I'm going to at least see it on a quality screen.

TVC15

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27451 on: August 03, 2017, 02:13:39 PM »
Can my wife join in?

Sure. We can make it a bore-wide event.

I'm in if we watch a Neil Breen movie instead.

I haven't actually seen one of his yet. I was waiting for one to screen around here, but I guess I'll bite now: which one should I watch?
serge

Raist

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27452 on: August 03, 2017, 02:14:35 PM »
Quote
McConaughey, looking like a fatigued Wayne Newton, might just be the worst big-screen baddie since Cate Blanchett played a kooky Soviet in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull."


:dead

Great Rumbler

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27453 on: August 03, 2017, 02:16:06 PM »
I haven't actually seen one of his yet. I was waiting for one to screen around here, but I guess I'll bite now: which one should I watch?

Double Down.

dog

chronovore

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27454 on: August 03, 2017, 02:35:27 PM »
The Fog (1980)

One of Carpenter's weaker films, but it has at least a half-dozen really tense moments or well-executed jump scares, plus an amazing score (as expected.) It apes a lot from Jaws and the mythology and plot are fairly boilerplate.

3 / 5

I'd probably rate it similarly, but it holds a special place in my heart. It's got a great atmosphere going on and it has a really neat "of its time" look--I'd have no interest in seeing a seriously remastered version of this. It's one of my favorite Adrienne Barbeau performances (outside of say, her glorious performance in Creepshow) and I don't think she has ever looked more fantastic than she does in The Fog. It's also paced torpidly at times and you really have to be in the mood to watch it, which isn't a problem you see in most (any?) other of the Carpenter flicks.

It also has a special place in my heart, as it was the first novel I ever read. IIRC, it was 5th grade for me, and someone gave me the movie tie-in novel. I remember being terrified.

TVC15

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27455 on: August 03, 2017, 02:40:06 PM »
I just noticed he said it was one of his weaker films, to which I strongly disagree. It's far better than anything he put out in the 90s. The only even remotely okayish thing he had that decade (and beyond) was In the Mouth of Madness, and that's kinda a total mess with some glimmers of past greatness. Vampires is terrible, but entertaining, too.
serge

Joe Molotov

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27456 on: August 03, 2017, 02:55:31 PM »
We watched (KFC) Double Down on Plug.DJ, if any of you twats were ever on there.
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TVC15

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27457 on: August 03, 2017, 03:34:58 PM »
I am unfortunately seeing GREEN DAY on Saturday so I am out.
serge

toku

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27458 on: August 03, 2017, 03:50:53 PM »

Great Rumbler

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27459 on: August 03, 2017, 04:33:40 PM »
I'm not sure when I'll be around on Saturday [going down to Dallas to a used games expo], but if I'm at home when you guys are ready to watch I'll hop in, too.
dog

Oblivion

  • Senior Member
Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27460 on: August 03, 2017, 04:55:51 PM »
The new Pirates movie is hot garbage. Excessively long, and needlessly convoluted. This is the fifth goddamned movie about some stupid curse. Do we really need another curse? They also made Jack an incredibly useless character for most of the film, which is a pretty bad idea considering he's supposed to be your biggest selling point.

Don't watch this piece. Watch One Piece instead.

Why would you willingly even watch this? Did you run out of peanut butter to lure street dogs into chewing on your balls or something?

Ah, but you see this WASN'T a willing decision. Sadly I had no choice but to see it.


....twice.  :'(
« Last Edit: August 03, 2017, 05:45:42 PM by Oblivion »

Great Rumbler

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27461 on: August 03, 2017, 05:24:29 PM »
My condolences.
dog

Lothar

  • Junior Member
Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27462 on: August 03, 2017, 06:04:18 PM »
A consensus is in at Rottentomatoes for the Dark Tower movie.

Quote
Critics Consensus: Go then, there are other Stephen King adaptations than these.

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_dark_tower_2017

Tasty

  • Senior Member
Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27463 on: August 03, 2017, 06:09:52 PM »
A consensus is in at Rottentomatoes for the Dark Tower movie.

Quote
Critics Consensus: Go then, there are other Stephen King adaptations than these.

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_dark_tower_2017

💯

Tasty

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27464 on: August 03, 2017, 06:10:43 PM »
The Emoji Movie consensus is also  :delicious

Mupepe

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27465 on: August 03, 2017, 06:13:58 PM »
Fuck you guys.

Mupepe

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27466 on: August 03, 2017, 10:37:53 PM »
It wasn't nearly as bad as I feared. The biggest thing...
spoiler (click to show/hide)
it basically covers the 7 books. They destroy the breakers and kill Walter. That was jarring.
[close]
I won't lie though. I tingled seeing "Presented by the Tet Corporation" and hearing the opening line from the book. Some scenes are really well done. Elba does a great Roland especially interacting with NYC people. I'll be really sad if the series goes nowhere and he is wasted.

My wife really liked it and I heard several people leaving the theater say they thought it was really good. My wife was surprised I was so down on it after.

Mupepe

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27467 on: August 03, 2017, 10:43:14 PM »
So in short, super fucking clumsy, some terrible dialogue and delivery by MM and enough exposition to make Nolan blush. But I didn't hate it

TVC15

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27468 on: August 03, 2017, 10:54:17 PM »
It wasn't nearly as bad as I feared. The biggest thing...
spoiler (click to show/hide)
it basically covers the 7 books. They destroy the breakers and kill Walter. That was jarring.
[close]
I won't lie though. I tingled seeing "Presented by the Tet Corporation" and hearing the opening line from the book. Some scenes are really well done. Elba does a great Roland especially interacting with NYC people. I'll be really sad if the series goes nowhere and he is wasted.

My wife really liked it and I heard several people leaving the theater say they thought it was really good. My wife was surprised I was so down on it after.

Ugh. I'm not going to be able to finish inside you again, bro.
serge

HyperZoneWasAwesome

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27469 on: August 03, 2017, 10:54:29 PM »
Oscar winning women kicking ass go...

Halle Berry is pretty much the whole show in Kidnap, a movie in which her best(?) efforts cant quite move the needle of such a simple and clumsy film from 'trashy' to 'good'. Better direction would have helped immesely, but as dirt-stupid thrillers go, you could do a lot worse. Its engaging on a lizard brain level, its chock full of action (good decisions and dialog, not so much), and by the end Berry has racked up a considerable wake of destruction. I would have liked it more if it were just a little dumber, or.better made, but I did like it to some extent. Bad movie podcasts are gonna have a field day with this one.

So Kidnap show the perils of too little ambition, Atomic Blonde has a bit too little. It invests far too much time in its increasingly labrythine plotting (I think one character ended up a quadruple agent) thats not nearly engaging enough to earn it all the attention it gets. But that's really my only complaint I've got about this film, which is pulling hard be the coolest, most stylish,hardest hitting spy thriller/action movie of the year. Sometimes it even suceeds at it. The action scenes are frigging great, amd the neon-lit atmosphere and period appropriete soundtrack the film luxeriates in is fun as well. Stupid John LeCarre with throatpunches, that'll do nicely.

zomgee

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27470 on: August 03, 2017, 10:58:24 PM »
WHAT at that spoiler.
rub

Bebpo

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27471 on: August 03, 2017, 11:01:37 PM »
FYI Shin-Godzilla is out on streaming/bd/dvd in the US now. Highly recommend it! Got a physical copy to lend around to friends & family.

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27472 on: August 03, 2017, 11:44:01 PM »
I feel that way but I really loved the soundtrack back when it came out. Best NIN song & one of the best SP songs :)

Raist

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27473 on: August 04, 2017, 03:39:04 AM »
At this rate I'm planning on getting through Wizard & The Glass and then reading Wikipedia summaries. I feel like the pacing is pretty slow in the second half of book 2 and first half of book 3. It's an interesting story but just feels like the episodic format means not much happens per book rather than each book being a self-contained exciting novel. All the Jake stuff is kinda zzz where I'm at.

I wouldn't even bother with the wiki summaries tbh.

Momo

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27474 on: August 04, 2017, 03:49:35 AM »


discussed yet?

Bebpo

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Re: The new and improved "Movies you've seen recently" thread
« Reply #27475 on: August 04, 2017, 04:42:05 AM »
Rewatched Shin-Godzilla tonight. Still dope as fuck. :rock
love that soundtrack so much.

Mupepe

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27476 on: August 04, 2017, 07:47:52 AM »
WHAT at that spoiler.
Yeah.  that blew me the fuck away.  More...
spoiler (click to show/hide)
The doors turn the movie into easy mode.  They're controlled by computers and you enter in a number and it takes you to a specific location in one of the worlds.  "I know where the man in black is.  He's North of the Wasteland.  It will take 6 months to get there."  "Oh we'll use a door instead"  They hit the Dixie Pig in this movie too.  Richard Sayre dies.  The man in black is basically Gandalf and powerful as fuck.  No Eddie or Susannah.
[close]

The story is a mess but Roland is so good :'(

It did get my wife to buy the audiobook last night and start listening to it.  So there's that.

Mupepe

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27477 on: August 04, 2017, 07:48:13 AM »
It wasn't nearly as bad as I feared. The biggest thing...
spoiler (click to show/hide)
it basically covers the 7 books. They destroy the breakers and kill Walter. That was jarring.
[close]
I won't lie though. I tingled seeing "Presented by the Tet Corporation" and hearing the opening line from the book. Some scenes are really well done. Elba does a great Roland especially interacting with NYC people. I'll be really sad if the series goes nowhere and he is wasted.

My wife really liked it and I heard several people leaving the theater say they thought it was really good. My wife was surprised I was so down on it after.

Ugh. I'm not going to be able to finish inside you again, bro.
Just finish on me.

benjipwns

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27478 on: August 04, 2017, 08:13:57 AM »
having only a small familiarity with the books, my favorite part of this was the whole part where they almost waited until the last minute to say "oh btw, it's a sequel to the books made for an audience who hasn't read them by people who love them to death, please understand"
« Last Edit: August 04, 2017, 08:17:58 AM by benjipwns »

benjipwns

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Re: The Movie News/Reviews Thread
« Reply #27479 on: August 04, 2017, 08:17:05 AM »
also that after jj abrams bailed out on it (after tying to adapt the entire series into one film) almost ten years ago, the next pitch they started with was to do three movies and four seasons of TV, where they'd fill up the films with big action and put the slow, boring, disgusting character stuff into the TV series

spoiler (click to show/hide)
i'm not sure Warner Bros. shouldn't be investigating that idea for their DC Films though
spoiler (click to show/hide)
is Billy Cudrup available to get naked, blue, and merge the Arrowverse/Supergirl-CWverse and Snyderverse in say...2022 or so?
[close]
[close]