Women dont like jerks and assholes, they like men who are secure with themselves. UNFORTUNATELY jerks and assholes APPEAR secure with themselves.
Which kind of defeats the initial bit. People don't understand confidence, especially the average female, so if you were really okay with yourself... would they notice? I don't think they do. They'll notice someone making a scene more, and that person is making a scene because they need the attention to suppliment their lack of real confidence. On the beneficial side, women think indifference is confidence as well, so that somewhat balances out the fact they are attracted to donkeys they think are horses, SO TO SPEAK.
Plus, the female mindset tends to maximize the minimal and that hurts 'nice guys' a lot.
Another factor is that people find safety in predictability and truly being yourself is not as much a predictable person as playing a persona. A 'jerk' is not really confident, but he is predictable. This also benefits the ego of the women, giving them a superiority in feeling that they are socially nicer than their partner, and it also feeds the secret quality factor(also part of maximize the minimal) in that the 'jerk' can be nice to them or have some redeeming quality that the female feels she is the only one who gets to see or appreciate. This make her more special and feeds her ego, as though she conquered the beast. The female ego and the history of roles are major factors to 'nice guys finishing last'.
On the male side, you can't be an absolute nice guy with no backbone. This isn't just a relationship based problem, but an all around problem with life. You have to be able to burn bridges, you have to at times stand up against someone you care about, because not all people are good, and that includes women.
You can, as a male, be a jerk or indifferent and it will(sadly) work more than the nice guy routine. The problem with this is that you are presenting a facade of who you are and no healthy relationship will come of this. The tendecy to adopt roles and the higher quality of life in American and other 1st world countries are two factors that don't mix well for the individuals mental and spiritual well being. This is why we have a lot of divorce. Game playing, role playing, facades... these things initialize relationships based upon lies and falsehoods. It is a dead end for love.
If you want love, be yourself and suffer the consequences.
If you just want to get laid? Then be an asshole. It will work the fastest. Sometimes I pretend to be mean just to continually test theories. This semister I acted more full of myself and indifferent and have recieved more female attention than I did in the previous two semisters. Outside of class I act polite and gentle, which is more like me, and recieve far less attention. It's unfortunate, but being a dick works.
If you find yourself chasing the women who ends up with the jerk, then you are getting trapped in the courtly love triangle and you need to avoid damsels in distress. Get out of that. If you want to know what the courtly love triangle is, then read about Arthur, Guinevere and Lancelot. These stories were meant to be about chastity and religious virtues, but got twisted into romance and love issues. Arthur and Lancelot were both Knights, and in the courtly love triangle the two men both believe they are like Knights. The male identified as the 'jerk' is the Arthur, the one she is with, he saves her physically and financially in a evolutionist view of attraction. The nice guy, is the Lancelot, who does everything for her and is there for her when she is sad, he is the emotional Knight. Both of them fight for the damsel, who recieves the social benefit of attention. So beware damsels in distress.
And Maf is right, strength isn't muscles or anything like that. Fred Rogers has a great quote on strength and I'll try to find it.
