Author Topic: Looks like Tiger woods is dead (Read 17000 times)

Billy Rygar · « **on:** November 27, 2009, 03:01:16 PM »

Or just injured in a car accident. Too early to tell.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #1 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:04:08 PM »

He crashed into a fire hydrant and then a tree pulling out of his fucking driveway.

I guess he's only good at golf.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #2 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:05:43 PM »

http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4693657

Quote

However, the highway patrol said the crash was not alcohol-related.

Worst driver ever.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #3 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:06:39 PM »

ORLANDO, Fla. -- Tiger Woods has been seriously injured in a car wreck in Florida, authorities said Friday.

The Florida Highway Patrol said Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree as he pulled out of his driveway early Friday in his 2009 Cadillac sport utility vehicle.

Woods was taken to Health Central Hospital. His condition was not immediately known, though the news release said his injuries were serious.

The airbags in the car did not deploy, according to a report in the Orlando Sentinel. The newspaper said that airbags typically do not deploy if a vehicle is traveling less than 33 miles per hour.

The highway patrol says the crash is still under investigation, and charges are pending. However, the highway patrol said the crash was not alcohol-related.

The Orange County Fire Rescue received a call about the accident at 2:28 a.m. ET. The Florida Highway Patrol did not report it until 2 p.m. ET.

... Jack Nicklaus' sorcery works yet again!

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #4 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:10:39 PM »

I guess Tiger really is black; he got so excited over Black Friday deals that he hit a tree and a fire hydrant just pulling out.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #5 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:11:44 PM »

Quote from: Willco on November 27, 2009, 03:10:39 PM

I guess Tiger really is black; he got so excited over Black Friday deals that he hit a tree and a fire hydrant just pulling out.

And he was driving an Escalade.

Bocsius · « **Reply #6 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:17:51 PM »

The tree wanted it.

Not sure about the hydrant, though.

Himu · « **Reply #7 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:24:18 PM »

Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich · « **Reply #8 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:28:10 PM »

asian drivers

ferrarimanf355 · « **Reply #9 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:30:09 PM »

Quote from: Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich on November 27, 2009, 03:28:10 PM

Cablinasian drivers

Fixed.

BlackMage · « **Reply #10 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:31:02 PM »

nice thread title.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #11 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:38:09 PM »

Still love the thread title.

Robo · « **Reply #12 on:** November 27, 2009, 03:46:10 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on November 27, 2009, 03:38:09 PM

Still love the thread title.

Genghis Cohen doesn't respect woods.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #13 on:** November 27, 2009, 04:03:27 PM »

*cue american uproar over the functionality of airbags in cars*

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #14 on:** November 27, 2009, 04:04:41 PM »

Quote from: RoboJ on November 27, 2009, 03:46:10 PM

Quote from: CajoleJuice on November 27, 2009, 03:38:09 PM
Still love the thread title.

Genghis Cohen doesn't respect woods.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #15 on:** November 27, 2009, 04:12:09 PM »

To be fair, The Business, Tiger hit both a tree and a fire hydrant.

drew · « **Reply #16 on:** November 27, 2009, 04:12:45 PM »

Quote from: Willco on November 27, 2009, 03:06:39 PM

The Florida Highway Patrol said

Quote

Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree as he pulled out of his driveway

Quote

the news release said his injuries were serious.

does not compute

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #17 on:** November 27, 2009, 04:15:13 PM »

Highway Patrol could've easily been first responders, or handling the public relations due to his profile.

How he hit a tree and a fire hydrant pulling out of his driveway, and ended up in serious condition as a result, is anybody's guess.

BobFromPikeCreek · « **Reply #18 on:** November 27, 2009, 06:13:10 PM »

Pulling out of his driveway?

It's going to be hard for anyone to take this seriously.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #19 on:** November 27, 2009, 06:40:09 PM »

Tiger Tiger Woods ya'll!

Barry Egan · « **Reply #20 on:** November 27, 2009, 06:49:41 PM »

RIP Tiger Woods.

RIP.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #21 on:** November 27, 2009, 06:52:31 PM »

So I get how he could've pulled out of his driveway front end first, but this still seems really odd.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #22 on:** November 27, 2009, 07:31:08 PM »

Quote from: Edge™ of Kosma on November 27, 2009, 06:08:39 PM

Quote from: Willco on November 27, 2009, 03:10:39 PM
I guess Tiger really is really a jew; he got so excited over Black Friday deals that he hit a tree and a fire hydrant just pulling out.

yes yes

Jews have a fear of long lines for obvious reasons.

drew · « **Reply #23 on:** November 27, 2009, 07:37:10 PM »

i bet hes one of those people* that mount their hand on the front passenger seat and look out the back window instead of using the side mirrors smh

spoiler (click to show/hide)

*no racist

[close]

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #24 on:** November 27, 2009, 07:38:40 PM »

"It was a funny angle!"
"It's behind you, Tiger. When you go in reverse, things come from behind you."

OptimoPeach · « **Reply #25 on:** November 27, 2009, 08:50:31 PM »

Quote from: RoboJ on November 27, 2009, 03:46:10 PM

Quote from: CajoleJuice on November 27, 2009, 03:38:09 PM
Still love the thread title.

Genghis Cohen doesn't respect woods.

drew · « **Reply #26 on:** November 27, 2009, 08:54:43 PM »

Quote from: Edge™ of Kosma on November 27, 2009, 08:11:19 PM

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit thats cold

interesting how you react to something like that but black hate is like an instinct

* Drewsy writes down username under Borys (and draws a hairy biker squatting down with their name coming out like its shit

Brehvolution · « **Reply #27 on:** November 27, 2009, 09:02:57 PM »

He wanted to hit the tree to feel what a golf ball feels.

drew · « **Reply #28 on:** November 27, 2009, 09:11:08 PM »

kosma as a kid:

[youtube=560,345]u5DKLDOm7mA[/youtube]

Bacchus7 · « **Reply #29 on:** November 27, 2009, 09:30:48 PM »

Nice drive, Tiger.

drew · « **Reply #30 on:** November 27, 2009, 09:31:35 PM »

stop going off topic please

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #31 on:** November 27, 2009, 09:32:08 PM »

Tiger's wife was angry about him playing on some other fairways.

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #32 on:** November 27, 2009, 09:33:14 PM »

I don't think there's any doubt who wears the pants in the Woods' household. Tiger probably got bitchslapped and ran away crying and hysterical.

Diunx · « **Reply #33 on:** November 27, 2009, 09:58:31 PM »

I wanted to make a golf car joke but I can't think of one, maybe its because its Friday and I don't have any alcohol on my precious blood.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #34 on:** November 27, 2009, 10:54:07 PM »

Yeah, what's he doing backing out the driveway at 2:30 in the morning?

Bocsius · « **Reply #35 on:** November 27, 2009, 11:00:33 PM »

Quote from: Willco on November 27, 2009, 10:54:07 PM

Yeah, what's he doing backing out the driveway at 2:30 in the morning?

Uh, black Friday sales?

Apparently there was a door-buster sale on new yachts.

ch1nchilla · « **Reply #36 on:** November 27, 2009, 11:16:01 PM »

My best guess is that he was high as fuck.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #37 on:** November 28, 2009, 12:29:07 AM »

I was at a football game when people in the crowd started whispering about Woods being horribly injured in a car crash. Some black dude looked around, I'm guessing making sure no white people were listening, then whispered "damn...they got him" to the black guy sitting in front of us

Vizzys · « **Reply #38 on:** November 28, 2009, 12:33:49 AM »

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #39 on:** November 28, 2009, 01:50:04 AM »

http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0Y86PU3Qy

Don't fuck with Vikings.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #40 on:** November 28, 2009, 02:35:18 AM »

Quote from: Fresh Prince on November 28, 2009, 01:50:04 AM

http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0Y86PU3Qy

Don't fuck with Vikings.

Yeah, that sounds about what I thought had happened. Hope he saved all his endorsement money because now everyone is gonna notice that he's black.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #41 on:** November 28, 2009, 11:42:04 AM »

That sounds a lot more plausible than just randomly hitting a tree and a fire hydrant in a mystery ride at 2:30 AM. Also, his wife had to use golf club to get him out? No way.

That said, the chick that he is rumored to have an affair with came out publicly saying it was not true, and that sources were paid $25,000 each for the bogus story. She hasn't exactly been private about her personal life before, so this would kind of be a total reversal for her.

TIGER'S WIFE ASSAULTED AN INNOCENT MAN.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #42 on:** November 28, 2009, 11:47:17 AM »

brotha gets no respect in his own home.

in tiger's defense, the supposed mistress is way hotter than his scary valkyrie wife

OptimoPeach · « **Reply #43 on:** November 28, 2009, 11:47:47 AM »

Ha. I thought it was all but implied when the article I read said something like, "It was not explained how Woods' wife managed to get him out of the vehicle."

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #44 on:** November 28, 2009, 11:55:17 AM »

She said she used a golf club to smash the window open.

... or did she smash the window before he got out of the driveway?

OptimoPeach · « **Reply #45 on:** November 28, 2009, 12:02:30 PM »

I bet she chased him out of the house swinging and he was looking over his shoulder to see if she was still following after he got out of the driveway.

But I meant that the idea of a thin woman pulling a full-grown man out the rear window of an Escalade is laughable

Brehvolution · « **Reply #46 on:** December 01, 2009, 03:42:24 PM »

Ganhyun · « **Reply #47 on:** December 01, 2009, 03:44:29 PM »

Quote from: Zero Hero EDGE™ on December 01, 2009, 03:42:24 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

Is that the woman he supposedly had an affair with?

If so...

:thumbsup

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #48 on:** December 01, 2009, 05:11:17 PM »

Quote from: Green Man on December 01, 2009, 05:01:05 PM

[youtube=560,345]7i5FlC1MpkE[/youtube]

This is exactly how it happened.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #49 on:** December 01, 2009, 05:13:49 PM »

So no charges, no evidence of a domestic dispute. The media threw the bait in the water and now the sharks are biting. Good jon

I'm not defending Woods for cheating on his wife, but it clearly has nothing to do with this situation. He hangs around with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley, of course he cheats. It's a shame this is blowing up though

Himu · « **Reply #50 on:** December 01, 2009, 05:15:13 PM »

This thread is amazing.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #51 on:** December 01, 2009, 05:20:15 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on December 01, 2009, 05:13:49 PM

So no charges, no evidence of a domestic dispute. The media threw the bait in the water and now the sharks are biting. Good jon

I'm not defending Woods for cheating on his wife, but it clearly has nothing to do with this situation. He hangs around with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley, of course he cheats. It's a shame this is blowing up though

Yeah, it's a shame cheating on your wife can blow up in your face.

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #52 on:** December 01, 2009, 05:22:57 PM »

I've been running around all day shouting at people "YOU'VE RUINED THANKSGIVING!!!"

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #53 on:** December 01, 2009, 08:19:47 PM »

i don't get why you'd get married at the peak of your popularity. it is best just to cash in on it and bang all of the groupies your dick can stick in and once you fade away in fame, marry a washed up model.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #54 on:** December 01, 2009, 08:23:57 PM »

As I saw on Twitter, and already posted on GAF:

"Rookie orientation week for pro athletes should feature a half hour montage of Derek Jeter staying single."

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #55 on:** December 01, 2009, 08:30:07 PM »

Quote from: T EXP on December 01, 2009, 08:19:47 PM

i don't get why you'd get married at the peak of your popularity. it is best just to cash in on it and bang all of the groupies your dick can stick in and once you fade away in fame, marry a washed up model.

Most men want both variety and stability. Tiger can, if he wants to, try to have it all.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #56 on:** December 01, 2009, 08:32:44 PM »

Quote from: Harry Lime on December 01, 2009, 08:30:07 PM

Quote from: T EXP on December 01, 2009, 08:19:47 PM
i don't get why you'd get married at the peak of your popularity. it is best just to cash in on it and bang all of the groupies your dick can stick in and once you fade away in fame, marry a washed up model.

Most men want both variety and stability. Tiger can, if he wants to, try to have it all.

He's Tiger Woods, for the love of God I'm sure if there are attractive women out there that don't care if their husband runs around he could snag one. But no, he goes for the Viking model chick instead.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #57 on:** December 01, 2009, 08:35:19 PM »

A woman who didn't care whether he cheated on her would probably turn him off, and probably be someone he'd never marry.
Humans are complicated.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #58 on:** December 01, 2009, 08:36:36 PM »

Which is no doubt why you're building an anatomically correct flannel clad love companion and why I don't leave the house.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #59 on:** December 01, 2009, 08:38:43 PM »

And why I keeps it real all the time

News:

Author Topic: Looks like Tiger woods is dead (Read 17000 times)