Official 2010 Academy Awards thread of downward spiral into irrelevancy

[Phoenix Dark]

ROTK was pretty awesome though Patel.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

ROTK was pretty awesome though Patel.

agreed ... but a record 11 Oscars awesome?

in any case, my thoughts on RotK were hashed to death in that thread where I annihilated GS

[Phoenix Dark]

what's the name of it, I didn't see it in searches

On 27 January 2004, the film was nominated for eleven Academy Awards: Academy Award for Best Picture, Directing, Adapted Screenplay, Original Score, Song, Visual Effects, Art Direction, Costuming, Make-up, Sound Mixing and Film Editing.

Best Picture, Directing, and (especially) Film Editing are admittedly debatable, but everything else is understandable and justified.

Well, actually the editing isn't even debatable: it was rather meh especially around the final action scenes/end.

[brob]

Only Oscar award I care for is the foreign one. And even then I only care if either The White Ribbon or The Prophet wins. 

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Sorry, Willco, somebody already made the best movie ever:

[Van Cruncheon]

why the hate for shakespeare in love? it was at least a smarter kind of popcorn movie.

[Van Cruncheon]

also, i will be seeing avatar at a morale event on the 11th, and shall render the definitive, objective opinion on james cameron's shitty trashpic.

[Eric P]

this morale event is obviously sponsored by Apple

[Phoenix Dark]

or google

[BlueTsunami]

Maaaan, I'm playing DQVII on my PSP and I save this town, go to the future and all the townspeople are dressed up as animals and celebratin'. All I can think about is that this town is full of furries and I can't advance the story until I dress up as them and join the festivities. I blame this on Green Shinobi.

[drew]

i have a feeling the hurt locker is going to win, if it doesnt i will never watch an award show again

[Howard Alan Treesong]

also, i will be seeing avatar at a morale event on the 11th, and shall render the definitive, objective opinion on james cameron's shitty trashpic.

I just got WOMAN'D into seeing it tonight; I am your sister in furry blue grief.

[Van Cruncheon]

oh no, we lost a fan of a shitty movie

oh no

oh no

[Howard Alan Treesong]

that's not a troll, though, because The Fountain is awesome

[BlueTsunami]

The Fountain actually does interesting and awesome things with the visual effects too. Instead of having a bunch of dude bros. rendering out CG Navi tits.

They actual had a single macro photographer do a lot of the visual effects (emulsifying film), small models used and green screening these effects in with the actors.

Now I want to rewatch The Fountain.

[ManaByte]

Avatar is so good you can't even remember the title. It blows you away that much!
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/video/joe-biden-talks-about-oscars-9735467

[Howard Alan Treesong]

if Avatar wins Best Picture, let's give its Oscar to The Fountain

[The Fake Shemp]

also, i will be seeing avatar at a morale event on the 11th, and shall render the definitive, objective opinion on james cameron's shitty trashpic.

What kind of morale event tries to negatively impact morale?

[Phoenix Dark]

The Fountain

The Fountain soundtrack

Rachel Weis 

Hugh Jackman 

[AdmiralViscen]

That last page was so hilarious that I had to re read it.

Fuck

[AdmiralViscen]

Chipopo really destroyed GS.

Yeah, faulty or nonexistent logic can be overlooked as long as it has teh funnies, right?

Well, you're half right. It was hilarious.

[Cormacaroni]

Chipopo really destroyed GS.

Yeah, faulty or nonexistent logic can be overlooked as long as it has teh funnies, right?

Andy from Shawshank was less butt-hurt than this.

[AdmiralViscen]

Asserting that a visual medium is incapable of conveying the sensation of taste is NOT the same as saying that there is no "objective medium" for judging artistic success.

If he destroyed me, it was in getting me to respond so seriously to obvious troll-bait. Which I guess on EB is annihilation.

You say explosions make you feel adventuire, he says burgers make him feel hunger

[Kestastrophe]

did someone say this was an awards thread?

[Cormacaroni]

did someone say this was an awards thread?


(Image removed from quote.)

let me be the first to

[The Fake Shemp]

 

[Barry Egan]

I don't understand.  All I'm saying is that I judge movies based on their ability to convince me that I should eat a tremendous hamburger.  Who are you to tell me what I should judge a movie based on?  Troll.

btw -- Spaghetti With a Chance of Meatballs -- 9.0 but should have had more emphasis on the burger rain.

[The Fake Shemp]

"Hunger doesn't count because I said so."

[AdmiralViscen]

One of the ways art has been judged for centuries is on the basis of how much it makes you think or feel. This does NOT include base, physical sensations like hunger. Would anyone say that Backdoor Sluts 2 was a work of art because it gave them the stiffest woody ever? I mean, maybe you could say that it's a work of art in its own way, but clearly it's not in the same category as the kind of films we're talking about in this thread.

1. you already shot down objective criticism of movies
2. food is hunger is longing is a universal human experience

[The Fake Shemp]

Every time I open this thread up, it's like Christmas.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I don't get it.  GS finds himself getting thoroughly savaged every post he makes yet he returns for more.  I think he just likes the attention at this point, regardless of whether it is positive or not.

did someone say this was an awards thread?


(Image removed from quote.)

lawl

[BlueTsunami]

Adventure takes precedence over hunger

[BlueTsunami]

Adventure takes precedence over hunger

But what if hunger drives you to adventure?

I wouldn't be surprised if Camerons initial creative concept for Avatar was that scribbled in crayon in some sketchbook

[Barry Egan]

Adventure takes precedence over hunger

But what if hunger drives you to adventure?

This exchange summarizes why Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle is more important to cinema history than Fellini's entire ouvre.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I'm hungry for adventure.

Also, Tampopo is an amazing movie and it's all about hunger and food.



Also, after watching Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, I immediately went to Wendy's and bought and ate a hamburger.

food-based cinema

[Howard Alan Treesong]

1. you already shot down objective criticism of movies
2. food is hunger is longing is a universal human experience

I said that there is no objective way to measure artistic merit. However, there ARE things that have been talked about for centuries as being indicators of whether or not something that someone created is artistic, among them 1) aesthetic beauty, 2) the capacity to make someone think about a matter that is important for whatever reason, or 3) the capacity to evoke emotions in the audience. Not all art has to do all of these things, but I don't think anyone would seriously deny that good art should do at least one.

Good Burger does none of these things, so his distinguished mentally-challenged comparison is invalid.

But why do I feel that I just annihilated myself by taking the time to type that response out?

HE'S LEARNING.

[Raban]

1. you already shot down objective criticism of movies
2. food is hunger is longing is a universal human experience

I said that there is no objective way to measure artistic merit. However, there ARE things that have been talked about for centuries as being indicators of whether or not something that someone created is artistic, among them 1) aesthetic beauty, 2) the capacity to make someone think about a matter that is important for whatever reason, or 3) the capacity to evoke emotions in the audience. Not all art has to do all of these things, but I don't think anyone would seriously deny that good art should do at least one.

Good Burger does none of these things, so his distinguished mentally-challenged comparison is invalid.

But why do I feel that I just annihilated myself by taking the time to type that response out?

HE'S LEARNING.

Willco's suicide pending.

[AdmiralViscen]

Goodburger not only evokes longing for the simpler times of high school part time jobs and the bonds between young men, but for overcooked beef.

[BlueTsunami]

Minimum wage, fast food camaraderie is definitely what I pulled away from that movie. Lifted my spirits and was life reaffirming.

[Barry Egan]

I said that there is no objective way to measure artistic merit. However, there ARE things that have been talked about for centuries as being indicators of whether or not something that someone created is artistic

There are no objective measures, but there are.  Got it.

among them 1) aesthetic beauty, 2) the capacity to make someone think about a matter that is important for whatever reason, or 3) the capacity to evoke emotions in the audience. Not all art has to do all of these things, but I don't think anyone would seriously deny that good art should do at least one.

There are no objective measures, but there are, and they are the ones I've hand-selected to shoe-horn AVATAR in to the category of "great film". 

But when someone attempts to judge AVATAR by other time-honored categories (lets take characterization as an example) it's all "buububu there is no objective criteria! Thinking outside the box! Nerdy scientist guy had depth to me!!!!"

[Eric P]

I'm hungry for adventure.

Also, Tampopo is an amazing movie and it's all about hunger and food.

(Image removed from quote.)

Also, after watching Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, I immediately went to Wendy's and bought and ate a hamburger.

food-based cinema

turtle scene

[Barry Egan]

AVATAR is a great film insofar as you don't judge it by any criteria specifically related to film.  Got it. 

[brawndolicious]

characterization should be a necessary scale in determining the artistic merit of a movie since the point of a movie is to actually tell a story.  what artistic goals did Avatar set out to achieve?  I agree that it was a fun movie but I don't see why you would call it art.

[Ichirou]

It's Dances with Wolves with blue people pasted in and worse acting.

[brawndolicious]

The most important plot points that make you identify with the main characters are carbon copies though.  That's like focusing on the trees and ignoring the forest.

[Barry Egan]

The point was to satirize your assertion that there are no objective standards by which to judge a film.  It was backhanded because I knew you yourself didn't believe this, or you wouldn't keep making grandiose claims to universality.  You want it both ways; my private subjective opinion has universal objective validity.  

So now in a roundabout way, you've unearthed the hidden rules by which you've designated AVATAR as a great film.

They are basically:  Because avatar is art and art am good.  

See, a work of art has aesthetic qualities, and it has underlying concepts, and its meant to stimulate the viewer.

AVATAR does these things.  So AVATAR is art.  And art is good!  AVATAR is good!  

But after we've established that AVATAR is art, isn't there another step to take?  a way to understand whether its good art?  I mean, technically, every fucking film ever fits the criteria you've set down.  Good Burger!

The Stand is literature! you might say.  But is it good literature?  

So lets say that filmmaking is a type of art, and it has its own language of expression, and if it can use that language in a sophisticated way, then its good art.  AVATAR's language is extremely simple and derivative.  So fine, it's art.  So what?

  

[Ichirou]

MY FUCKING GRANDPA

[The Fake Shemp]

There are so many differences though.

Does Jake Sully open the movie with a suicide run across enemy lines that earns him a transfer off the battlefield? Does he go to Pandora seeking solitude? Does he find that the Navi have killed everyone at his station? When he meets Neytiri, is she a human taken in by the Navi who has just slit her wrists?

I could keep going, but it should be clear that Avatar is quite different from Dances With Wolves unless you boil it down to a bare skeleton of plot points.

... So what you're saying is that Avatar is just a pale imitation, completely devoid of the characterization that helped Dances with Wolves become so popular.

[Van Cruncheon]

wait -- dune is now an anti-colonialist parable? WAT

[brawndolicious]

I would say that they're all carbon copies and I'm not really a fan of any of those movies (except Dune which I haven't seen).  But it's a formula that works for making most people like the main character in identifying with his pursuit of some exotic culture.  The thing that sets Avatar apart is that the Navi culture and the relationship between being a human and being greedy/robotic is so simple and so stupid that it makes you really struggle to care about any of these characters or any of the plot points you predicted hours earlier.  It basically makes a bad formula suck worse.

[Mandark]

This is almost as bad as the time Green Shinobi explained how Beowulf ripped off The Hobbit.

[Barry Egan]

Protip: If you're going for satire, it helps to have a firm grasp of the subject you're attempting to satirize.
Protip 2: Don't try for satire; you're not very good at it.

Actually my satire was pretty on the money based on what you were saying at the time.  There would appear to be a consensus on this, btw

[The Fake Shemp]

I don't remember that

[The Fake Shemp]

No, his was better.

[Cormacaroni]

Satire sort of has to be funny.

[Mandark]

I don't understand how that's satire, either objectively or viewing it through GS's eyes.

[Cormacaroni]

ok, yours makes sense.

Still isn't funny.

[Barry Egan]

Satire sort of has to be funny.

It should also make sense. The Good Burger one made no sense because feeling hungry isn't an emotion or thought, it's a physical craving. He might as well have said something like "Yeah, 2001 made me think a lot about the vast emptiness of space, how small humans are in the scheme of things, the possibility of AI systems turning on us and a whole lot of other things, but Half-Baked made me want to smoke weed more than any other movie ever, so I think they're pretty comparable." You cannot deny that that was about the gist of his argument. It was funny though.

This reminds me of the time I argued that Good Burger was a great film in film class.  My argument was that Good Burger reminded me of how delicious hamburgers were on a level unsurpassed by any other film in Hollywood history.  Everyone kept arguing with me, but noone bothered to recognized that while what I’m saying might be utterly nonsensical, it nonetheless says something universal about humanity, because everyone loves the fucking shit out of hamburgers.  Hunger, longing and tastiness are universal experiences, and in some sense define what it is to be human, therefore Good Burger is one of Hollywood’s greatest cultural contributions.     

I'm beginning to feel like you don't even recognize that my "argument" was disingenuous.  You do understand right?  For the love of God please understand. 

[drew]

 

[demi]

man you guys actually watch this crap.