Author Topic: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening (Read 4122446 times)

Inspector Thatcher · « **Reply #17100 on:** February 13, 2013, 10:12:43 AM »

Quote from: The Experiment on February 12, 2013, 10:18:32 PM

I was recruiting at a career fair today and holy fuck, nobody seems to know how to write a resume. For instance, you should know how to spell "Muay Thai" correctly if you're going to put it down as an interest.

Preach. I had the jolly misfortune of sifting through resumes for an intern position for which my company was hiring, and not a word of a lie, half of them misspelled "attention to detail" one way or another.

I wonder if they can spell g-a-r-b-a-g-e c-a-n?

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #17101 on:** February 13, 2013, 10:40:22 AM »

Quote from: Huff on February 13, 2013, 10:02:45 AM

I'm boycotting the Olypmics. #savewrestling

The IOC has no shame. They're removing a sport that was contested at the Ancient Olympics and in caves well before then while keeping a "sport" that resembles something out of a Monty Python Twit sketch. What the fuck is a modern pentathlon. Maybe we should ask Juan Antonio Samaranch Junior, the son of the former IOC president, a member of the board, and, wait for it, vice-president of the modern pentathlon. Pistol shooting, fencing, 200 m freestyle swimming, show jumping? This is very modern and relevant for Louis XIV.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #17102 on:** February 13, 2013, 11:10:22 AM »

Wrath: Hey girl, I hope there's no pork in that sandwich
Girl: *giggles* of course not silly
Wrath: What's your name?
Girl: Yesenia
Wrath: Did you know that means flower in English?
Girl: awww. You have been to America?
Wrath: Many times. In fact I'm going back soon...
Girl: To New York City?
Wrath: Better
Girl: Los Angeles City?
Wrath: Montana
Yesenia: It sounds mysterious
Wrath: Only if you have no one to hold your hand
*Yesenia swoons*

*suddenly the voice of an older man interrupts the moment. "Yesenia my dear, come with me."

Wrath: is that your father?
Yesenia: No, it is my husband
Wrath, as he casually lights a cigarette: well you better go talk to him
Yesenia: I...I wish...
Wrath: So do I

TO BE CONTINUED

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17103 on:** February 13, 2013, 11:17:35 AM »

I do not approve of fanfic of other forum members.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #17104 on:** February 13, 2013, 11:21:59 AM »

Girl's Husband: Are you talking to my wife?
Wrath: No sir.
Girl's Husband: Hey, wait--aren't you my nephew?
Wrath: Hi, Uncle Kelam.
Uncle Kelam: Are you coming to my daughter's wedding next Saturday? It's really a wedding/birthday as on Saturday she's turning 12.
Wrath: Isn't she too young to get involved that seriously?
Uncle Kelam: My wife was the same age when we got engaged.
Wrath: Well, yeah, you've gotta lock that down.
Uncle Kelam: That is true, but I keep losing the key.

hampster · « **Reply #17105 on:** February 13, 2013, 12:19:24 PM »

Quote from: Huff on February 13, 2013, 10:02:45 AM

I'm boycotting the Olypmics. #savewrestling

How is swimming so popular at the olympics

I don't get it

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #17106 on:** February 13, 2013, 01:04:41 PM »

Quote from: hampster on February 13, 2013, 12:19:24 PM

Quote from: Huff on February 13, 2013, 10:02:45 AM
I'm boycotting the Olypmics. #savewrestling

How is swimming so popular at the olympics I don't get it

because america is good at it

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #17107 on:** February 13, 2013, 01:38:57 PM »

Quote from: Flannel Boy on February 13, 2013, 10:40:22 AM

Quote from: Huff on February 13, 2013, 10:02:45 AM
I'm boycotting the Olypmics. #savewrestling

The IOC has no shame. They're removing a sport that was contested at the Ancient Olympics and in caves well before then while keeping a "sport" that resembles something out of a Monty Python Twit sketch. What the fuck is a modern pentathlon. Maybe we should ask Juan Antonio Samaranch Junior, the son of the former IOC president, a member of the board, and, wait for it, vice-president of the modern pentathlon. Pistol shooting, fencing, 200 m freestyle swimming, show jumping? This is very modern and relevant for Louis XIV.

I can't even envision how the modern pentathlon came into existance.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #17108 on:** February 13, 2013, 01:51:43 PM »

Arabic taste or tastes like Arab?

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #17109 on:** February 13, 2013, 02:02:48 PM »

Quote from: hampster on February 13, 2013, 12:19:24 PM

Quote from: Huff on February 13, 2013, 10:02:45 AM
I'm boycotting the Olypmics. #savewrestling

How is swimming so popular at the olympics I don't get it

It has the same potential for nip slips as wrestling, but it's less gay.

Except for Men's Synchronized Swimming.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17110 on:** February 13, 2013, 03:13:30 PM »

Got an undergrad summer research NSERC again. Money <3

pickle · « **Reply #17111 on:** February 13, 2013, 05:48:26 PM »

Quote from: Inspector Thatcher on February 13, 2013, 10:12:43 AM

Quote from: The Experiment on February 12, 2013, 10:18:32 PM
I was recruiting at a career fair today and holy fuck, nobody seems to know how to write a resume. For instance, you should know how to spell "Muay Thai" correctly if you're going to put it down as an interest.

Preach. I had the jolly misfortune of sifting through resumes for an intern position for which my company was hiring, and not a word of a lie, half of them misspelled "attention to detail" one way or another.

I wonder if they can spell g-a-r-b-a-g-e c-a-n?

How is that possible in 2013? Did they type up their resumes with windows notepad?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17112 on:** February 13, 2013, 07:50:47 PM »

Got an offer to be considered for a masters at Carnegie. Like I'm paying $80,000 for a degree. pffff

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #17113 on:** February 13, 2013, 08:05:36 PM »

Quote from: Mr. Gundam on February 13, 2013, 01:38:57 PM

Quote from: Flannel Boy on February 13, 2013, 10:40:22 AM
Quote from: Huff on February 13, 2013, 10:02:45 AM
I'm boycotting the Olypmics. #savewrestling

The IOC has no shame. They're removing a sport that was contested at the Ancient Olympics and in caves well before then while keeping a "sport" that resembles something out of a Monty Python Twit sketch. What the fuck is a modern pentathlon. Maybe we should ask Juan Antonio Samaranch Junior, the son of the former IOC president, a member of the board, and, wait for it, vice-president of the modern pentathlon. Pistol shooting, fencing, 200 m freestyle swimming, show jumping? This is very modern and relevant for Louis XIV.

I can't even envision how the modern pentathlon came into existance.

british empire - all essential skills for keeping the hoi polloi in check or escaping their wrath during rebellions

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #17114 on:** February 13, 2013, 08:11:34 PM »

Quote from: Cormacaroni on February 13, 2013, 08:05:36 PM

Quote from: Mr. Gundam on February 13, 2013, 01:38:57 PM
Quote from: Flannel Boy on February 13, 2013, 10:40:22 AM
Quote from: Huff on February 13, 2013, 10:02:45 AM
I'm boycotting the Olypmics. #savewrestling

The IOC has no shame. They're removing a sport that was contested at the Ancient Olympics and in caves well before then while keeping a "sport" that resembles something out of a Monty Python Twit sketch. What the fuck is a modern pentathlon. Maybe we should ask Juan Antonio Samaranch Junior, the son of the former IOC president, a member of the board, and, wait for it, vice-president of the modern pentathlon. Pistol shooting, fencing, 200 m freestyle swimming, show jumping? This is very modern and relevant for Louis XIV.

I can't even envision how the modern pentathlon came into existance.

british empire - all essential skills for keeping the hoi polloi in check or escaping their wrath during rebellions

Well, now, if the Olympians are allowed to chase down chavs, stab them, and shoot them while on horse back--now we have an event. Fuck wrestling.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17115 on:** February 13, 2013, 08:29:54 PM »

mmm I love sucking on frozen blueberries.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #17116 on:** February 13, 2013, 08:31:28 PM »

In Saskatchewan, is that they call ice cold testicles?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17117 on:** February 13, 2013, 08:39:42 PM »

No, your thinking of frozen Saskatoon berries.

Inspector Thatcher · « **Reply #17118 on:** February 13, 2013, 08:41:36 PM »

Until 10 minutes ago, I was going to break out my Saskatoonberry tea. Now I'm going to change my cup to darjeeling.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #17119 on:** February 13, 2013, 08:44:44 PM »

I wish the girl I knew from Saskatchewan was still sucking on my frozen Saskatoon berries :'(

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17120 on:** February 13, 2013, 08:46:04 PM »

Quote from: Inspector Thatcher on February 13, 2013, 08:41:36 PM

Until 10 minutes ago, I was going to break out my Saskatoonberry tea. Now I'm going to change my cup to darjeeling.

Think of me as you savor it.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17121 on:** February 13, 2013, 08:50:12 PM »

And listen to this while you think of me

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17122 on:** February 14, 2013, 11:07:11 AM »

my paper from last summer which we submitted to a journal just got panned by all three reviewers - pretty much they complained about everything that was out of my control though.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #17123 on:** February 14, 2013, 11:10:25 AM »

Did you explain to them that you were just born this way?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17124 on:** February 14, 2013, 11:12:54 AM »

That's like 90% of the abstract.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17125 on:** February 14, 2013, 06:26:05 PM »

Got accepted to UofT!!!

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #17126 on:** February 14, 2013, 06:36:11 PM »

hooray!

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17127 on:** February 14, 2013, 06:38:09 PM »

Thanks

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #17128 on:** February 14, 2013, 06:47:56 PM »

University of Texas? Grats!

brawndolicious · « **Reply #17129 on:** February 14, 2013, 06:51:05 PM »

This girl dropped a note in s little envelope on my desk and said happy valentines day. The note said:

"Oh yeah...

Dat voice... "

I think she had a stack of them.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17130 on:** February 14, 2013, 06:52:49 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 14, 2013, 06:47:56 PM

University of Texas? Grats!

Toronto. A top 10 CS school. Not that that matters

Also gets me automatc Ph.D acceptance assuming the masters goes well.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #17131 on:** February 14, 2013, 06:56:33 PM »

I just sent one of those jokey awful valentines day cards to this girl I dig on facebook god fuck kill me nooooooooowwww I instantly regretted it when I sent it because it comes off as earnest FUCK

LORD GRANT ME THIS MULLIGAN

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #17132 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:02:40 PM »

c'mon post it here, you may as well get some laffs out of it

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #17133 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:04:13 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on February 14, 2013, 06:52:49 PM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 14, 2013, 06:47:56 PM
University of Texas? Grats!

Toronto. A top 10 CS school. Not that that matters

Also gets me automatc Ph.D acceptance assuming the masters goes well.

Congrats!

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #17134 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:05:34 PM »

I just put

Happy ummmm Valentines Day!

and used this image...

But I actually put OUR NAMES IN IT. Which can easily be taken as THIS MAN SPENT MORE THAN TEN SECONDS FUCKING WITH THIS THING. FUCK.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17135 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:06:22 PM »

The Sceneman · « **Reply #17136 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:17:01 PM »

Brilliant! If the chick is worth a damn, she'd be chuffed I'm sure

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #17137 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:23:49 PM »

Different girl but this one I actually give a shit about beyond tittays (unlike the MILF). Fuck my life.

If she doesn't respond with atleast an indifferent 'haha' by the end of today I'ma jump out my first floor window

Atramental · « **Reply #17138 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:24:43 PM »

I think you should be fine, Blue.

The Sceneman · « **Reply #17139 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:30:52 PM »

yo Blue can I use that for a chick I like? Valentines Day has already been but that shit is just too good

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #17140 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:34:02 PM »

Definitely! I just grabbed it off the net but you're good either way

brawndolicious · « **Reply #17141 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:41:37 PM »

That's actually a pretty funny and cute card. She's not going to hold a little crush/bad pun against you if she's cool.

The Sceneman · « **Reply #17142 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:49:01 PM »

oooh yeah got a response already: "Nawww you little cutie! That's so beautiful."

Sceneman is gettin some

The Sceneman · « **Reply #17143 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:52:10 PM »

argh she posted it on her wall

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #17144 on:** February 14, 2013, 07:52:38 PM »

hahahaha valentines dayyyyyy *shakes fist angrily*

ZephyrFate · « **Reply #17145 on:** February 15, 2013, 03:33:06 AM »

Got wine drunk and very turned on by hearing my roommate, who I was thinking was gay, getting pounded in the ass by some dude. Well, at least he's gay. On the other hand, *I* should have been the one getting fucked tonight.

hello bottle #2.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #17146 on:** February 15, 2013, 03:35:45 AM »

what did it sound like

nice cat but chicken · « **Reply #17147 on:** February 15, 2013, 10:01:36 AM »

that is the worst.
good luck.

Quote from: ZephyrFate on February 15, 2013, 03:33:06 AM

Got wine drunk and very turned on by hearing my roommate, who I was thinking was gay, getting pounded in the ass by some dude. Well, at least he's gay. On the other hand, *I* should have been the one getting fucked tonight.

and i'm sure we're all familiar with this situation! the bolded section really had me guessing though.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #17148 on:** February 15, 2013, 10:05:35 AM »

Quote from: ZephyrFate on February 15, 2013, 03:33:06 AM

On the other hand, *I* should have been the one getting fucked tonight.

Zephyr is a bottom

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17149 on:** February 15, 2013, 10:24:35 AM »

Trying to study for a stats test and all I can think about is UofT and that spring break starts as soon as the test is done. No focus

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17150 on:** February 15, 2013, 01:48:51 PM »

Just found out that Johns Hopkins never got my transcript and no one bothered to tell me

fuck it

ZephyrFate · « **Reply #17151 on:** February 15, 2013, 03:18:58 PM »

Quote from: nice cat but chicken on February 15, 2013, 10:01:36 AM

that is the worst.
good luck.

Quote from: ZephyrFate on February 15, 2013, 03:33:06 AM
Got wine drunk and very turned on by hearing my roommate, who I was thinking was gay, getting pounded in the ass by some dude. Well, at least he's gay. On the other hand, *I* should have been the one getting fucked tonight.

and i'm sure we're all familiar with this situation! the bolded section really had me guessing though.

BLOW ME

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #17152 on:** February 15, 2013, 03:28:02 PM »

Quote from: Shark Johnson on February 15, 2013, 03:01:25 PM

Attempting to drink for the first time at 3ish in the morning was the worst decision I've made yet. I feel like shit, missed work (not a big deal, didn't need me anyway), didn't fall asleep until 7am after just lying in bed for hours, and I still can't stop thinking about that stupid chick.

that sucks. The only cure for crushing is if you're actually banging her. Then you're up all night, but it's just cause you're excited to see her again.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #17153 on:** February 15, 2013, 04:13:55 PM »

no prob. you've asked her out and been rejected twice? if so, don't try again, time to move on.

also alcohol is terrible for sleep. it doesn't really help you pass out and its not restful. 1 shot or 1 beer with 2 benadryl works. Just don't go over that unless experienced, only use it in emergencies, and never on consecutive nights.

Robo · « **Reply #17154 on:** February 15, 2013, 08:11:17 PM »

Drinking the night before a work day is a man's game. You'll get the hang of it when you grow up.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17155 on:** February 15, 2013, 09:07:34 PM »

Shark getting over a broad like he gives a fuck

Barry Egan · « **Reply #17156 on:** February 15, 2013, 10:08:37 PM »

shark is pretty mature and humble for his age. he's gonna figure thangs out pretty quick i think. quicker than me anyways.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #17157 on:** February 15, 2013, 10:20:47 PM »

Ya. At his age I didn't even try to figure thangs out. I just gave up. This is true at my age too.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #17158 on:** February 15, 2013, 11:02:24 PM »

Giving up would be a improvement, because that would imply that I started.

pickle · « **Reply #17159 on:** February 16, 2013, 08:45:09 AM »

I apologise to anyone that had the misfortune of reading the cognitive diarrhoea that I posted earlier. I'm feeling better now. It's been a funny 'ol day.

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Author Topic: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening (Read 4122446 times)