Author Topic: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening  (Read 4322496 times)

0 Members and 11 Guests are viewing this topic.

archnemesis

  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23940 on: July 07, 2014, 07:20:03 AM »
I wish you both the best of luck. Miscarriages are very common and it's difficult to tell if the first time was caused by odd chance or something more permanent. I'm sure your doctors have already told you this.

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23941 on: July 07, 2014, 07:45:29 AM »
Fuck around with young(er) people, brehs  :-\

Unless she like a teen (which is another issue entirely) this ain't really why that happened breh.

Does 19 count?
010

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23942 on: July 07, 2014, 11:17:53 AM »
I guess that is technically a teen. :larry

After last years miscarriage things have been tough for me and my lady, moving country, losing a pregnancy and some other stuff. Thank god we love each other a lot and we made it through.

Now tomorrow we have an early scan again and I'm shitting my pants everything goes well this time. Family and friends know nothing of this.

Just 3 weeks before our wedding, if there is no heartbeat again I really hope we can at least block it till after the wedding cause it would be such a sad day otherwise.

The thought of another miscarriage is just afwul, I dunno how we would go through it again.

Sorry to hear about your prior situation and the stress of your current one. Hopefully it won't be what you fear. :)

Atramental

  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23943 on: July 07, 2014, 12:38:52 PM »
Resignation letter sent.

Later shitlords!  :pacspit

Mupepe

  • Icon
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23944 on: July 07, 2014, 12:57:23 PM »
After last years miscarriage things have been tough for me and my lady, moving country, losing a pregnancy and some other stuff. Thank god we love each other a lot and we made it through.

Now tomorrow we have an early scan again and I'm shitting my pants everything goes well this time. Family and friends know nothing of this.

Just 3 weeks before our wedding, if there is no heartbeat again I really hope we can at least block it till after the wedding cause it would be such a sad day otherwise.

The thought of another miscarriage is just afwul, I dunno how we would go through it again.
I hope everything works out.  As someone else said they are common so try to keep a positive outlook and no matter what just try to be the supportive rock for your wife.  Everything will work out!  We need a little Lager!

CatsCatsCats

  • 🤷‍♀️
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23945 on: July 07, 2014, 01:40:35 PM »
Sending my love and support, Lager!

Cerveza mas fina

  • I don't care for Islam tbqh
  • filler
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23946 on: July 07, 2014, 01:40:50 PM »
Thanks dudes ill let you know how it goes.

CatsCatsCats

  • 🤷‍♀️
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23947 on: July 07, 2014, 03:52:15 PM »
Feelsbad post, feel free to skip since this thread already has enough people airing their woes :lol

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'm not really expecting my parents marriage to last much longer, or my dads life for that matter. My brother and I were about to be out the door to a BBQ with our SOs Saturday when my mom called us in hysterics because my dad was passed out in the garage and she couldn't wake or move him. (At 6pm) Everybody is fed up with his drinking and despite us calling him on it constantly (my wife and I refused to go over there for a long while until he promised to get help [which he never did] after a particularly bad shit show he put on in which he called me a disappointment etc ) he refuses to change, I don't think he has the desire to. His Dad was an alcoholic too and died a couple years ago when he got drunk and broke his leg with no one around. I feel the worst for my mom who has to put up with it on a daily basis, and I think she's finally beyond doing it anymore. If she find the gumption to leave him though, I doubt he'd survive a month. Fuck life, dude.
[close]

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23948 on: July 07, 2014, 04:03:11 PM »
After last years miscarriage things have been tough for me and my lady, moving country, losing a pregnancy and some other stuff. Thank god we love each other a lot and we made it through.

Now tomorrow we have an early scan again and I'm shitting my pants everything goes well this time. Family and friends know nothing of this.

Just 3 weeks before our wedding, if there is no heartbeat again I really hope we can at least block it till after the wedding cause it would be such a sad day otherwise.

The thought of another miscarriage is just afwul, I dunno how we would go through it again.

Best of luck, buddy!!! You seem to love each other so very much and I'm happy for you!

Feelsbad post, feel free to skip since this thread already has enough people airing their woes :lol

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'm not really expecting my parents marriage to last much longer, or my dads life for that matter. My brother and I were about to be out the door to a BBQ with our SOs Saturday when my mom called us in hysterics because my dad was passed out in the garage and she couldn't wake or move him. (At 6pm) Everybody is fed up with his drinking and despite us calling him on it constantly (my wife and I refused to go over there for a long while until he promised to get help [which he never did] after a particularly bad shit show he put on in which he called me a disappointment etc ) he refuses to change, I don't think he has the desire to. His Dad was an alcoholic too and died a couple years ago when he got drunk and broke his leg with no one around. I feel the worst for my mom who has to put up with it on a daily basis, and I think she's finally beyond doing it anymore. If she find the gumption to leave him though, I doubt he'd survive a month. Fuck life, dude.
[close]
Best of luck here too! Sorry everyone is on edge laetly. We need good news!
« Last Edit: July 07, 2014, 04:05:41 PM by Formerly Known As Himuro »
IYKYK

Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23949 on: July 07, 2014, 04:06:57 PM »
I think rubbing lotion into my beard has become the best part of my day; shit is magical. 

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23950 on: July 07, 2014, 04:07:07 PM »
Feelsbad post, feel free to skip since this thread already has enough people airing their woes :lol

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'm not really expecting my parents marriage to last much longer, or my dads life for that matter. My brother and I were about to be out the door to a BBQ with our SOs Saturday when my mom called us in hysterics because my dad was passed out in the garage and she couldn't wake or move him. (At 6pm) Everybody is fed up with his drinking and despite us calling him on it constantly (my wife and I refused to go over there for a long while until he promised to get help [which he never did] after a particularly bad shit show he put on in which he called me a disappointment etc ) he refuses to change, I don't think he has the desire to. His Dad was an alcoholic too and died a couple years ago when he got drunk and broke his leg with no one around. I feel the worst for my mom who has to put up with it on a daily basis, and I think she's finally beyond doing it anymore. If she find the gumption to leave him though, I doubt he'd survive a month. Fuck life, dude.
[close]
Sorry to hear this Spence :fbm

I dunno what I'd do in that situation. If interventions and pleas haven't worked there's not much else to try :/
010

Squiddy

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23951 on: July 07, 2014, 04:14:28 PM »
Probably need to start putting lotion in my beard as well.

Shit's bristly as fuck.

If you want softer facial hair, make sure you shampoo it properly and use leave-in conditioner.
<コ:彡

Cerveza mas fina

  • I don't care for Islam tbqh
  • filler
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23952 on: July 07, 2014, 04:14:33 PM »
Alcoholism is a bitch, cant help him unless he wants to.

Good luck

CatsCatsCats

  • 🤷‍♀️
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23953 on: July 07, 2014, 04:17:49 PM »
Yeah, I mean, we've done it all. Confrontations, letters, meetings, ultimatums, intervention. He's pretty set on killing himself with alcohol. Eventually we're just gonna have to let him.

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23954 on: July 07, 2014, 04:19:54 PM »
Sorry about that, Spence.

If you ever need to talk to someone more personally about it, shoot me a PM. I can unfortunately relate to your situation.

CatsCatsCats

  • 🤷‍♀️
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23955 on: July 07, 2014, 04:22:02 PM »
Thanks, guys

Yulwei

  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23956 on: July 07, 2014, 07:48:44 PM »
these hoes ain't loyal

chronovore

  • relapsed dev
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23957 on: July 07, 2014, 08:04:24 PM »
Feelsbad post, feel free to skip since this thread already has enough people airing their woes :lol

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'm not really expecting my parents marriage to last much longer, or my dads life for that matter. My brother and I were about to be out the door to a BBQ with our SOs Saturday when my mom called us in hysterics because my dad was passed out in the garage and she couldn't wake or move him. (At 6pm) Everybody is fed up with his drinking and despite us calling him on it constantly (my wife and I refused to go over there for a long while until he promised to get help [which he never did] after a particularly bad shit show he put on in which he called me a disappointment etc ) he refuses to change, I don't think he has the desire to. His Dad was an alcoholic too and died a couple years ago when he got drunk and broke his leg with no one around. I feel the worst for my mom who has to put up with it on a daily basis, and I think she's finally beyond doing it anymore. If she find the gumption to leave him though, I doubt he'd survive a month. Fuck life, dude.
[close]

My father was an alcoholic. My mother left him, which was hitting bottom for him. Because of it, he was able to stop drinking, and lived 15 more years; each of those years, he was a better person than he'd been before. Turnarounds can happen; don't give up hope, but don't be an enabler, and don't blame yourself if he can't make the change.

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23958 on: July 07, 2014, 09:17:27 PM »
Yeah, I can't work 7 day weeks anymore.

I took 2 hours off for lunch today because I knew it was going to suck and it's still been a shit day. Even had to pop a diazepam (which I haven't had to take regularly after switching to a new medication).

Good thing It's another 4 days until the weekend. :shaq2

CatsCatsCats

  • 🤷‍♀️
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23959 on: July 07, 2014, 09:27:47 PM »
Chrono, Wrath, you guys are spot on. I'm talking to my brother and we're going to get together with my mom and try to talk her into setting a line with him at least. My parents have been together since they were kids. My mom left him briefly when my brother was really young over the alcohol. He sobered up and they got back together. He was sober for 8 years or so. (So by the time I can remember drinking again. ) So maybe it will be enough to knock some sense back into him. He has some big mental wounds on his self esteem from issues with *his* alcoholic father and other family though, so I know what he really needs is counseling and I really hope we can make him see its what he wants too.

Broseidon

  • Estado Homo
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23960 on: July 07, 2014, 10:00:37 PM »
fifth night :D
bent

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23961 on: July 07, 2014, 10:21:25 PM »
He has some big mental wounds on his self esteem from issues with *his* alcoholic father and other family though, so I know what he really needs is counseling and I really hope we can make him see its what he wants too.

There's no counseling to end this, unfortunately, and it metastasizes the longer you've left it untreated. All it does is help you cope with what you were made into and recognize why you have the behavior patterns that you do.

Your brother and you got to experience what it was like to see your father try and overcome his problem. If your alcoholic parent never even tried, let alone for calendar years (making it past 1 year is impressive, 8 was very much so--it's a shame your father relapsed because he did have an incredible sense of determination at one point in his life) all it told you was you weren't even worth trying to be sober for. That shit fucks with a young mind something fierce, and you never really feel adequate no matter what you achieve in life or talents you have.

That's why (strictly imo) the first responsibility of any child of an alcoholic is to make sure the cycle ends with them, even if it means spending the rest of your life in a Boston marriage or something.
« Last Edit: July 07, 2014, 10:23:31 PM by Karakand »

chronovore

  • relapsed dev
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23962 on: July 07, 2014, 10:33:33 PM »
Yeah, ACA self-esteem issues are some fucked-up bullshit. It's given me a couple of behavior patterns which can be shoved into useful shapes, but it's generally been... bad.

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23963 on: July 07, 2014, 11:18:47 PM »
I didn't know you were one, chronovore. You seem pretty well put together (online). :)

I managed to whittle away some of the really bad behavior patterns you pick up (in particular, engaging in high risk behavior), but like you I've had to accept that I'm stuck with some of those patterns forever and tried to make the most of them.

At least I'm a workaholic instead of an alcoholic. :yeshrug

Shadow Mod

  • It was Tuesday
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23964 on: July 08, 2014, 02:14:44 AM »
Volunteering gig might translate into a part time job. Pretty cool considering I am going into business for myself but would like something to pick up the slack before that gets nuts.

chronovore

  • relapsed dev
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23965 on: July 08, 2014, 03:51:31 AM »
I didn't know you were one, chronovore. You seem pretty well put together (online). :)

I managed to whittle away some of the really bad behavior patterns you pick up (in particular, engaging in high risk behavior), but like you I've had to accept that I'm stuck with some of those patterns forever and tried to make the most of them.

At least I'm a workaholic instead of an alcoholic. :yeshrug
Thanks. I still believe there's hope to change, I don't think the mind is completely written in stone; it can be rewired. But the self-esteem works to undermine my belief that I can enact that change. From the outside I can see that this is a self-fulfilling prophecy, though it is difficult to internalize that perspective.

Cerveza mas fina

  • I don't care for Islam tbqh
  • filler
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23966 on: July 08, 2014, 06:45:08 AM »
good news

my offspring is the size of a thumb and its heart is beating  :mynicca

if you have me on fb please don't post anything about it since we want to suprise our families at the wedding  :borys

Cerveza mas fina

  • I don't care for Islam tbqh
  • filler
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23967 on: July 08, 2014, 06:45:26 AM »
feels so good brehs

G The Resurrected

  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23968 on: July 08, 2014, 07:52:42 AM »
fuck yeah! the feels man

I hope I can feel like that one day.

Mupepe

  • Icon
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23969 on: July 08, 2014, 12:46:02 PM »
little lager!!!

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23970 on: July 08, 2014, 12:49:39 PM »
little lager!!!

hide ya wife hide ya kids
010

Rufus

  • 🙈🙉🙊
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23971 on: July 08, 2014, 01:49:25 PM »
good news

my offspring is the size of a thumb and its heart is beating  :mynicca

if you have me on fb please don't post anything about it since we want to suprise our families at the wedding  :borys
First thing that came to mind:

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23972 on: July 08, 2014, 03:25:32 PM »
Thanks. I still believe there's hope to change, I don't think the mind is completely written in stone; it can be rewired. But the self-esteem works to undermine my belief that I can enact that change. From the outside I can see that this is a self-fulfilling prophecy, though it is difficult to internalize that perspective.

Yeah we're not stone that can be chiseled away at, we're more sheet metal. We have certain immutable qualities (being metal), but we can be tempered (calcified) or reformed / reshaped into something that we weren't before if we want. To use your words, we can be "shoved into useful shapes." It just takes awareness and willingness on our part, which is hard since we don't think we're worth it.

Like I will never not be a great liar, it will never stop being shockingly easy for me to do. That makes me good at my job (and possibly the one I'm trying to change into), but it doesn't make me a very good person to know personally, or a decent human being. Right now I'm trying to keep that skill, but compartmentalize it just in my professional space, and it's a lot of work because it involves facing disapproval and rejection (which some of us--myself included--try to avoid) but I know I need to change that part of who I am to move forward.

Thankfully I never picked up the "wanting to be the rescuer" in relationships thing, but that's because I don't trust anyone who doesn't exploit me openly. That's my next big hurdle.

Don't be a fucking alcoholic parent brehs.

CatsCatsCats

  • 🤷‍♀️
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23973 on: July 08, 2014, 03:30:21 PM »
Dat relatable feeling...


I wasn't sure I should say anything here in the first place but you guys are bringing some perspective to my life that I have probably been willfully ignoring. Y'all :heart
« Last Edit: July 08, 2014, 03:35:50 PM by Spencer »

Steve Contra

  • Bought a lemon tree straight cash
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23974 on: July 08, 2014, 03:37:03 PM »
good news

my offspring is the size of a thumb and its heart is beating  :mynicca

if you have me on fb please don't post anything about it since we want to suprise our families at the wedding  :borys
:-[

When is the wedding?  I had some friends do the whole surprise thing at theirs and it...uh...didn't go as planned.
vin

Cerveza mas fina

  • I don't care for Islam tbqh
  • filler
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23975 on: July 08, 2014, 04:01:09 PM »
good news

my offspring is the size of a thumb and its heart is beating  :mynicca

if you have me on fb please don't post anything about it since we want to suprise our families at the wedding  :borys
:-[

When is the wedding?  I had some friends do the whole surprise thing at theirs and it...uh...didn't go as planned.

In 18 days

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23976 on: July 08, 2014, 04:04:02 PM »
good news

my offspring is the size of a thumb and its heart is beating  :mynicca

if you have me on fb please don't post anything about it since we want to suprise our families at the wedding  :borys
:-[

When is the wedding?  I had some friends do the whole surprise thing at theirs and it...uh...didn't go as planned.

same, but there were fundamentalist Christian parents/family involved lol
010

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23977 on: July 08, 2014, 04:54:47 PM »
(Image removed from quote.) interesting

Breh I'm a Jewish accountant with a preoccupation for far-left politics and fine arts, that lies and possesses an uncanny ability to self-loathe yet still struggles to define his masculinity in healthy ways, and is famously cheap. Goebbels himself couldn't concoct a caricature that ticked more stereotype boxes.

Squiddy

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23978 on: July 08, 2014, 06:15:36 PM »
(Image removed from quote.) interesting

Breh I'm a Jewish accountant with a preoccupation for far-left politics and fine arts, that lies and possesses an uncanny ability to self-loathe yet still struggles to define his masculinity in healthy ways, and is famously cheap. Goebbels himself couldn't concoct a caricature that ticked more stereotype boxes.

Do you also happen to eat babies?
<コ:彡

Steve Contra

  • Bought a lemon tree straight cash
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23979 on: July 08, 2014, 06:20:54 PM »
good news

my offspring is the size of a thumb and its heart is beating  :mynicca

if you have me on fb please don't post anything about it since we want to suprise our families at the wedding  :borys
:-[

When is the wedding?  I had some friends do the whole surprise thing at theirs and it...uh...didn't go as planned.

same, but there were fundamentalist Christian parents/family involved lol
There wasn't any of that, just a lot of hurt feelings from the close families that they weren't let in first etc. (and the general angst that comes along with the fact that a lot of the older family thought the marriage was just because someone got knocked up).  Lots of tears that night.
vin

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23980 on: July 08, 2014, 07:07:08 PM »
Do you also happen to eat babies?

*in worst impression of a New York immigrant Jewish old man accent possible* Sure, but who doesn't? *halfheartedly shrugs*

Yulwei

  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23981 on: July 08, 2014, 08:15:36 PM »
Yay thunderstorms everywhere in the EC

Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23982 on: July 08, 2014, 08:16:26 PM »
Some sad shit. Sorry to dump this but I'm kind of out of sorts right now.

A very good friend killed himself last week and everyone in our circle is just finding out today. It was like a bomb dropped and now everyone is numb and quiet and kind of trying to avoid the topic. He was bipolar and went off his medication, ended up having an affair with a German girl we introduced into our friend circle who was trying to find a work visa and low key was using him. Ruined his marriage, kind of went off the deep end, crashed a car being lent to him after breaking into their old apartment...all while we were trying to help him even out but not getting anywhere with it. Ended up in jail and almost being deported (Afro-Caribbean). He didn't, but when he got out he took off with her because her visa was up. Around the same time we found out things were a lot worse than we'd known, including his wife who was entirely unprepared for any of it. Went out to Vegas, dropped all contact with everyone and we only heard loose stories here and there (couch surfing, all their money went into gambling, etc). A few of us tried reaching out but got nothing. And now all we know is he killed himself and after saying he felt he didn't have any more chances left.

idk brehs, shit sucks. I feel angry because he had plenty of chances to begin with and fucked it up. We're talking about someone who was easily among the smartest, most compassionate, ridiculously outgoing people I've ever met. Dude was student body president of his college for two years. Highly motivated, great job, working toward a doctorate, all dropped. Feel angry because he had plenty of chances left and any of us would've put ourselves out there for him. We could've been out in Vegas tomorrow if he asked. FFS half of us are in Vegas for work two or three times a quarter. Feel angry because as much as we tried to help, I think we only made things worse. Once we realized that we stepped back and probably weren't involved enough. It's like nothing we did was right. Feel sad because his wife had to go through all of this and her daughter (from a relationship before their marriage) legitimately thought of him as her dad. Feel sad because he was a victim of something beyond his control in a lot of ways and none of us could help. Feel sad because he's gone.

Shit sucks. Going to play Baldur's Gate and think about sitcoms for the tourney.

CatsCatsCats

  • 🤷‍♀️
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23983 on: July 08, 2014, 08:21:26 PM »
Damn, Pickles. Sorry  :(

Squiddy

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23984 on: July 08, 2014, 08:44:09 PM »
My condolences.
<コ:彡

PlayDat

  • Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23985 on: July 08, 2014, 09:06:52 PM »
Sorry to hear that.  I'm not sure what else to say.  I'm fortunate enough not to have lost anyone close to me in my short life.

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23986 on: July 08, 2014, 09:11:12 PM »
idk brehs, shit sucks. I feel angry because he had plenty of chances to begin with and fucked it up. We're talking about someone who was easily among the smartest, most compassionate, ridiculously outgoing people I've ever met. Dude was student body president of his college for two years. Highly motivated, great job, working toward a doctorate, all dropped. Feel angry because he had plenty of chances left and any of us would've put ourselves out there for him. We could've been out in Vegas tomorrow if he asked. FFS half of us are in Vegas for work two or three times a quarter. Feel angry because as much as we tried to help, I think we only made things worse. Once we realized that we stepped back and probably weren't involved enough. It's like nothing we did was right. Feel sad because his wife had to go through all of this and her daughter (from a relationship before their marriage) legitimately thought of him as her dad. Feel sad because he was a victim of something beyond his control in a lot of ways and none of us could help. Feel sad because he's gone.

Sorry for your loss.

Don't be angry that your friend didn't live up to his potential. It was his life and even though it ended up in the drain it was how he wanted to live it. Capability can be burdensome in its deterministic character (e.g. "I'm gifted at X, ergo I will be X") but that deterministic character can be even more overwhelming when something else about you determines your life without your say in it too. Being unsuccessful, or not living up to your potential, is a way of reasserting control over your life. Cutting for the high achievers of life, if you will.

You maybe could have tried something different, but there's no guarantee it would have worked either. Can't try and own up to things you didn't do wrong.

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23987 on: July 08, 2014, 11:19:20 PM »
Sorry to hear that Pickles. I guess today is like bad bore news day.

After work I got a call from my mom saying that my uncle had died earlier today in Detroit; he was 64. He had apparently been missing for the last couple days (which we didn't know about), and they found his body today. I drove down there to help comfort my aunt; she was in complete shock. She retired a couple weeks ago and was planning on just chilling all summer with him, trying to rekindle things I guess. I don't have many details about what happened but I have a feeling it was drug related. He was clean for most of this decade but recently got into a car accident, and relapsed on pain medication. Apparently my aunt asked him to go to the store and he never came back. They found him in a less than great part of Detroit; when I lived in Detroit I knew people who sold drugs there.

I've mentioned him many times here and on GAF. He'd always call me with the craziest computer questions. He was that crazy uncle that many people tend to have: not crazy as in "in and out of jail" but the type who believes every conspiracy in existence. He was a huge sci fi fan, huge James Bond fan, was obsessed with Roman history...basically any conversation you had with him would inevitably turn into a discussion about Rome, Dracula, or Frankenstein. When I was young he let me read stuff I probably shouldn't have been reading, watch R rated movies, etc.

I noticed all my life that he was also sort of the family whipping boy - not in a malicious way, but just like "ohhh here comes Fredo" type way that I could tell bothered him. He was the oldest of my grandparent's kids (on my mom's side), very bookish, rambled (sometimes incoherently), was always falling for dumb money schemes. But I always enjoyed listening to his stories, talking about history, watching movies, etc. We'd be in the corner somewhere at every family event, discussing Caesar, Ancient Aliens, JFK, how to send emails, debating his ridiculous Van Helsing love, etc.
010

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23988 on: July 08, 2014, 11:37:53 PM »
Dammit, wish I could give ya'll hugs.

Pickles: it's okay to be angry. They are your emotions and no one else's and you have plenty of reason to be angry. In fact, in that case, I'd say being angry is perfectly natural an emotion. But eventually, I think you will let go of that anger, and only the good memories of him will be left. Be there for the family he loved as much as you can, and since you seem to have a very tight knit circle and you're such a caring guy, I'm sure you'll do just that. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. It must be an utter shock. If you want to talk, I'm always here.

PD: What an utter shame. Sounds like you guys had a close relationship. I'm glad you're there for your aunt and I'm really hoping that it didn't come down to drugs. PM me any time if you want to talk. *big hugs*
IYKYK

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23989 on: July 09, 2014, 12:34:06 AM »
Sorry PD.

Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23990 on: July 09, 2014, 01:14:03 AM »
Damn, sorry PD. Let's just get this day over with already.

I appreciate everything said. Just trying to work through the emotions right now and process. Kind of still avoiding it in small ways but eventually I'll face it I guess. But yeah, thank you all.

Cerveza mas fina

  • I don't care for Islam tbqh
  • filler
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23991 on: July 09, 2014, 02:42:18 AM »
Sorry for your losses guys  :-\

G The Resurrected

  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23992 on: July 09, 2014, 03:18:16 AM »
Esch what happened? No need to bottle it up for another day that does no one any good.

As for the other things that happened today if any of you need someone to talk to don't hesitate.

Eli Gulgin

  • Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23993 on: July 09, 2014, 03:19:57 AM »
Damn, sorry Pickles and PD.  :(

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23994 on: July 09, 2014, 03:40:45 AM »
I'm glad to have new perspectives on my life thanks to self-reflection, I just really wish they wouldn't keep me up at night--especially on night #3 in a row of general sleeplessness and a day of necessary and regular diazepam use.

Can it be the weekend yet? :'(


fistfulofmetal

  • RAPTOR
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23995 on: July 09, 2014, 05:33:47 AM »
if we're getting all sad em up in here, i'll be joining the rankings (albeit not to the degree as others) later this week.
nat

chronovore

  • relapsed dev
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23996 on: July 09, 2014, 05:46:05 AM »
Keeee-righst. Sorry you dudes are having a bad time.

Squiddy

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23997 on: July 09, 2014, 06:11:50 AM »
Discovery Channel  :lawd
<コ:彡

recursivelyenumerable

  • you might think that; I couldn't possibly comment
  • Senior Member
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23998 on: July 09, 2014, 06:55:16 AM »
WHERE IS A PEN

 I WANT TO SKETCH DIAGRAM NOTES FOR THIS ONLINE ALGORITHMS CLASS BUT IT IS RUINED BY MY NOT-HAVING-PEN-THAT-WRITES-NESS AGGGGGGHHH
QED

Squiddy

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: New Random Talk Thread: Let the Bottom-Feeding Commence!
« Reply #23999 on: July 09, 2014, 06:59:04 AM »

WHERE IS A PEN

 I WANT TO SKETCH DIAGRAM NOTES FOR THIS ONLINE ALGORITHMS CLASS BUT IT IS RUINED BY MY NOT-HAVING-PEN-THAT-WRITES-NESS AGGGGGGHHH

You're on a computer, use MSpaint and notepad  :jawalrus
<コ:彡