Author Topic: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening  (Read 3358828 times)

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bork

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34620 on: April 13, 2020, 07:03:06 AM »
Was thinking the other day how bad it might be if Internet went down.  Guess what?!  :hyper

Heard a pretty loud noise about an hour ago- sounded like either a lightning strike just outside or a small explosion.  Have power, but my wireless router is dead and my AT&T modem has a stuck red light, which I think translates to "you're fucked."  Couldn't get through to their CS line either.  The phone just rang after I went the queue.   :lol

I'm OK for now since I have my work phone hot spot.  Using it now and it's pretty fast.  Tried doing a test online and the AT&T troubleshooting service couldn't do anything, so it said an order was in for a new modem.  Hope it's just the equipment and not the cables that got affected.
:dizzy


A few nights ago during a storm, the cable/phone/internet went out and ended up all being out for about 16 hours, well into morning work hours so get fucked work from homers in this neighborhood  :lol

This is just me, I think- no outages listed and I see plenty of other wireless networks available.  This hotspot connection is working great, otherwise I'd be fucked.  Feel bad for my wife, though.  Guess she can use her phone for stuff, but no TV until this is resolved and she's gonna be bored as hell.
ど助平

naff

  • someday you feed on a tree frog
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34621 on: April 13, 2020, 07:29:46 AM »
Got a 5G phone recently



😮

eh, what does a 5g phone mean?

i get those speeds on the cheapest nz 4g network (50mbps down, 40 up rn)
◕‿◕

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
  • Administrator
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34622 on: April 13, 2020, 07:05:48 PM »
Got a 5G phone recently



😮

congratulations on your coronavirus infection!
©@©™

BlueTsunami

  • The Muffin Man
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34623 on: April 13, 2020, 11:48:54 PM »
Got a 5G phone recently



😮

eh, what does a 5g phone mean?

i get those speeds on the cheapest nz 4g network (50mbps down, 40 up rn)

The mobile network in the US isnt as dense and fast. 5G is the new Gen rollout and Tmobile is at the front of it. I was getting probably 20mbs down on 4G. And 5G phone as in being able to utilize those bands. I got an LGV60
:9

bork

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34624 on: April 14, 2020, 02:22:58 PM »
Caller: Yes, hi, I'm trying to reach Bork.
Me: Can I ask who's calling?
Caller: This is NAME from COMPANY.
Me: Can I ask why you're calling?
Caller: No.  Please connect me to Bork.
Me: I'm sorry; this is an internal line only for members of this firm.
Caller: Look, this is NOT a sales call.  We deal with Bork all the time.  PUT HIM ON.
Me: Interesting, because I'm Bork and I've never heard of you.
*awkward silence*
Me: Goodbye!
ど助平

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34625 on: April 14, 2020, 10:30:53 PM »
nachobro is a cosmic guey 8)
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nachobro

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34626 on: April 14, 2020, 10:35:20 PM »
cosmic guerro ;)

BIONIC

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  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34627 on: April 15, 2020, 04:31:18 PM »
filler is a cosmic goy  :-[
Margs

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34628 on: April 15, 2020, 04:38:49 PM »
 :lol
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Nintex

  • Finish the Fight
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34629 on: April 15, 2020, 05:29:25 PM »
Wow, I'm officially a victim of SEXTORTION  8)

Here's what that looks like:

Quote
I am aware, ****, is your pass word.

I need your full attention for the coming Twenty-four hrs, or I may make sure you that you live out of embarrassment for the rest of your life span.

Hi, you do not know me. But I know every thing regarding you. Your present fb contact list, mobile phone contacts along with all the digital activity in your computer from past 126 days.

Which includes, your self pleasure video clips, which brings me to the main reason why I am crafting this e mail to you.

Well the last time you visited the porn material webpages, my malware was triggered inside your computer which ended up recording a eye-catching footage of your masturbation play simply by activating your webcam.
(you got a seriously unusual taste by the way lmao)

I own the entire recording. If you feel I 'm fooling around, just reply proof and I will be forwarding the particular recording randomly to 6 people you recognize.

It may be your friend, co workers, boss, mother and father (I'm not sure! My software program will randomly pick the contacts).

Will you be capable to look into anyone's eyes again after it? I question that...

However, doesn't necessarily have to be that path.

I'm going to make you a 1 time, non negotiable offer.

Get $ 2000 in bitcoin and send them on the below address:

[SHOSTABITCOINADDRESS???]
[case sensitive copy & paste it, and remove *** from it]

(If you do not know how, look online how to purchase bitcoin. Do not waste my precious time)

If you send this particular 'donation' (why don't we call this that?). Immediately after that, I will go away and never get in touch with you again. I will eliminate everything I have about you. You may very well proceed living your regular day to day life with zero concern.

You've 24 hours in order to do so. Your time starts as soon you read this mail. I have got an unique program code that will tell me once you read this email so don't try to play smart.

The password was actually an old password that checks out.

I did what every good citizen would do and added it to the bitcoin abuse database:
https://www.bitcoinabuse.com/reports/bc1qzua7jfnru6he9d2htyw4nyyqrmrkgn727ce8fe

I'm actually thinking about replying to this to see how much I can annoy the person behind this.
How he says not to waste his precious time makes it all the more enticing.  :thinking

But the email is probably a no-reply thing.  :fbm
🤴

EchoRin

  • Hey, it's that dog.
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34630 on: April 16, 2020, 05:14:27 AM »
Gave my old ass laptop a full system restore to factory settings. There were weird little things going on with it and it was time to reorganize what I needed and didn't once again after quite some time. Hopefully when all these 146 updates install it won't mess up my old grandpa laptop again.

Transhuman

  • youtu.be/KCVCmGPgJS0
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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34631 on: April 16, 2020, 05:28:10 AM »
Wow, I'm officially a victim of SEXTORTION  8)

Here's what that looks like:

Quote
I am aware, ****, is your pass word.

I need your full attention for the coming Twenty-four hrs, or I may make sure you that you live out of embarrassment for the rest of your life span.

Hi, you do not know me. But I know every thing regarding you. Your present fb contact list, mobile phone contacts along with all the digital activity in your computer from past 126 days.

Which includes, your self pleasure video clips, which brings me to the main reason why I am crafting this e mail to you.

Well the last time you visited the porn material webpages, my malware was triggered inside your computer which ended up recording a eye-catching footage of your masturbation play simply by activating your webcam.
(you got a seriously unusual taste by the way lmao)

I own the entire recording. If you feel I 'm fooling around, just reply proof and I will be forwarding the particular recording randomly to 6 people you recognize.

It may be your friend, co workers, boss, mother and father (I'm not sure! My software program will randomly pick the contacts).

Will you be capable to look into anyone's eyes again after it? I question that...

However, doesn't necessarily have to be that path.

I'm going to make you a 1 time, non negotiable offer.

Get $ 2000 in bitcoin and send them on the below address:

[SHOSTABITCOINADDRESS???]
[case sensitive copy & paste it, and remove *** from it]

(If you do not know how, look online how to purchase bitcoin. Do not waste my precious time)

If you send this particular 'donation' (why don't we call this that?). Immediately after that, I will go away and never get in touch with you again. I will eliminate everything I have about you. You may very well proceed living your regular day to day life with zero concern.

You've 24 hours in order to do so. Your time starts as soon you read this mail. I have got an unique program code that will tell me once you read this email so don't try to play smart.

The password was actually an old password that checks out.

I did what every good citizen would do and added it to the bitcoin abuse database:
https://www.bitcoinabuse.com/reports/bc1qzua7jfnru6he9d2htyw4nyyqrmrkgn727ce8fe

I'm actually thinking about replying to this to see how much I can annoy the person behind this.
How he says not to waste his precious time makes it all the more enticing.  :thinking

But the email is probably a no-reply thing.  :fbm

Do it bitch

bork

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  • Global Moderator
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34632 on: April 16, 2020, 07:59:42 AM »
Caller: Hi Bork, I was just talking to you about my issue.
Me: Sorry, that wasn't me.
Caller: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Caller: OK, well I'm not getting emails in Outlook this morning.
Me: Does it say "working offline" on the bottom-right?
Caller: No?  Where would I see this?
Me: On the lower-right side of the Outlook window.
Caller: No, it doesn't say that anywhere.
Me: OK, let me connect and take a look.
Me: ...It says "working offline."
Caller: What?! Where does it say this??
Me: Right here, on the lower right-side of the window.
Caller: Oh.

 :doge :engel  :doge
ど助平

archnemesis

  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34633 on: April 16, 2020, 09:33:28 AM »
That reminds me of when I helped a user finding the recycle bin.

bork

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34634 on: April 16, 2020, 02:28:56 PM »
Yesterday I spoke with someone who wanted to format a PDF.  It was put together kind of strangely and I couldn't do what she was asking, so I suggested she contact what is essentially our word processing department (who she should have asked in the first place) for help.

This morning, she called back.

Caller: I need help with a PDF.  I want to change some text, but it's not working!
Me: ....Is this the same PDF from yesterday?
Caller: ......... :o...........
Caller: ...uh...no, it's not.
Me:  :doge  OK, let me hop on and see what's going on.
(Naturally, it's the same PDF)
Me: Did you contact the WP department for assistance? 
Caller: Yes, but it took them like EIGHT HOURS to get back to me and they have new staff and I don't know and I don't want to contact them and I'd rather call you guys to do it until they have act together.
Me: Well, unfortunately, there's only so much we can do.  This is exactly what they're here for.
Caller: But I don't want to talk to them!
Me:  .....
Me: OK, let's look at the document. 
Caller: I just want to move this text block here over to here!  I don't understand why this is so hard!  It's this program.  NO OFFENSE, but this program SUCKS!
Me: ( :lol) It's not the program, it's the document.  It's a PDF- you can't format quite the same way or as easily as say, Word.
Caller: BUT WHY NOT!  THIS IS SO STUPID!  THIS PROGRAM IS TO BLAME.
Me: It has to do with how the PDF was created and formatted.  This one is a little odd- I have an idea.  I'm going to export this page to .TIFF, then we can just cut and paste the text.  And...done.  Hmm...it's giving an error when I try to import it back into the PDF, though.  I can--
Caller: This is ridiculous.  You know what?  I have this as a Word document- it was originally a Word file.  I just wanted to convert it to PDF and edit it there!  I'll just edit the Word version and turn it back into a PDF. 


:crazy :titus :mindblown
...

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!  FUUUUUUCK :punch
:kinison
ど助平

team filler

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34635 on: April 16, 2020, 10:38:25 PM »


this is great beer, brehs :playa
« Last Edit: April 17, 2020, 12:15:45 AM by filler »
*****

bork

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34636 on: April 17, 2020, 11:09:51 AM »
Caller: I just want to make sure I'm not going crazy here and have this right.  If a document shows it was checked IN, then checked OUT, nobody edited it, right?  No modifications done.
Me: If it was checked out, it means that the person may be still working on--
Caller: NO.  They didn't.  I mean it was checked IN, checked OUT- no edits.
Me: Again, if it shows as checked OUT, it means they could still be working on it.
Caller: NO, THEY DIDN'T MAKE ANY EDITS.
Me: .....
Me: Do you mean "checked OUT, then checked IN?"
Caller: Uh...oh.  Yeah.  That's what I mean.
Me: :doge  Yes, that's correct then.  No edits made and successfully checked back in.
Caller: So again just be to sure, if they check it IN then OUT, it's good right?
ど助平

VomKriege

  • Do the moron
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34637 on: April 17, 2020, 11:15:23 AM »
Going to break curfew, drink wine, eat & watch Tiger King with that one friend like every Friday.
 :rejoice
ὕβρις

Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34638 on: April 17, 2020, 04:13:43 PM »
Really though my dog was having a stroke 5 minutes ago and now she seems fine.  She wouldn't put any weight on her left legs and when I got her to sit, she almost rolled over backwards.  Pretty scary. 

team filler

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34639 on: April 17, 2020, 04:27:17 PM »
was it 300 dollars tho? :thinking
came in a box with two other bottles of "award winning beers". store owner let me have it for 25$ as it was sitting on the shelf collecting dust  :lucille
*****

Nintex

  • Finish the Fight
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34640 on: April 17, 2020, 05:07:11 PM »
Wow, I'm officially a victim of SEXTORTION  8)

Here's what that looks like:

Quote
I am aware, ****, is your pass word.

I need your full attention for the coming Twenty-four hrs, or I may make sure you that you live out of embarrassment for the rest of your life span.

Hi, you do not know me. But I know every thing regarding you. Your present fb contact list, mobile phone contacts along with all the digital activity in your computer from past 126 days.

Which includes, your self pleasure video clips, which brings me to the main reason why I am crafting this e mail to you.

Well the last time you visited the porn material webpages, my malware was triggered inside your computer which ended up recording a eye-catching footage of your masturbation play simply by activating your webcam.
(you got a seriously unusual taste by the way lmao)

I own the entire recording. If you feel I 'm fooling around, just reply proof and I will be forwarding the particular recording randomly to 6 people you recognize.

It may be your friend, co workers, boss, mother and father (I'm not sure! My software program will randomly pick the contacts).

Will you be capable to look into anyone's eyes again after it? I question that...

However, doesn't necessarily have to be that path.

I'm going to make you a 1 time, non negotiable offer.

Get $ 2000 in bitcoin and send them on the below address:

[SHOSTABITCOINADDRESS???]
[case sensitive copy & paste it, and remove *** from it]

(If you do not know how, look online how to purchase bitcoin. Do not waste my precious time)

If you send this particular 'donation' (why don't we call this that?). Immediately after that, I will go away and never get in touch with you again. I will eliminate everything I have about you. You may very well proceed living your regular day to day life with zero concern.

You've 24 hours in order to do so. Your time starts as soon you read this mail. I have got an unique program code that will tell me once you read this email so don't try to play smart.

The password was actually an old password that checks out.

I did what every good citizen would do and added it to the bitcoin abuse database:
https://www.bitcoinabuse.com/reports/bc1qzua7jfnru6he9d2htyw4nyyqrmrkgn727ce8fe

I'm actually thinking about replying to this to see how much I can annoy the person behind this.
How he says not to waste his precious time makes it all the more enticing.  :thinking

But the email is probably a no-reply thing.  :fbm

Do it bitch

I have two options

1: lmao bro
Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.


2: ruining this guys life forever
Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.

« Last Edit: April 17, 2020, 05:25:02 PM by Nintex »
🤴

DJ Bedroom

  • Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34641 on: April 17, 2020, 08:17:40 PM »
Any of you fuckin nerds wear hockey jerseys? Should I get one a size down from what I normally wear for it to fit better?

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34642 on: April 17, 2020, 08:19:50 PM »
kings?
*****

DJ Bedroom

  • Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34643 on: April 17, 2020, 08:22:44 PM »
Maple leafs cause only Canadians are allowed to play hockey well
spoiler (click to show/hide)
who am I kidding that's not even true anymore
[close]

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34644 on: April 17, 2020, 08:29:53 PM »
 :piss :cancry :piss2
*****

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34645 on: April 17, 2020, 09:28:29 PM »
what sounds good?  :nope

what touches the soul?  :ohyeah
*****

EchoRin

  • Hey, it's that dog.
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34646 on: April 18, 2020, 03:10:09 AM »
Are jerseys on sale right now? Cause I would just stop by somewhere and try it on. The official gear is gonna be the same for all teams so even if the store you go to won't have your team you can see what size would be ideal. I realize that's not the best advice at the moment, but I left all my jerseys back at my folks place and haven't thought about jersey sizes in forever.

VomKriege

  • Do the moron
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34647 on: April 18, 2020, 07:14:06 AM »
Any of you fuckin nerds wear hockey jerseys? Should I get one a size down from what I normally wear for it to fit better?

I've got a Canucks one that is 2 sizes too big... But honestly form fitting for a jersey seems weird.
ὕβρις

nachobro

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34648 on: April 18, 2020, 09:25:16 AM »
yeah you buy a jersey to be extra big, or at least i always have

CatsCatsCats

  • 🤷‍♀️
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34649 on: April 18, 2020, 12:57:49 PM »
You’re supposed to maintain the illusion that pads go under there

VomKriege

  • Do the moron
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34650 on: April 19, 2020, 12:53:23 PM »
They make you look like a fucking idiot.

That CCCP swag tho.
ὕβρις

nachobro

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34651 on: April 19, 2020, 01:00:12 PM »
 :patel :umad

toku

  • 𝕩𝕩𝕩
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34652 on: April 19, 2020, 01:00:52 PM »
Hockey jersey's in particular will make you look like an idiot if you go too big. They're really goofy without pads.

nachobro

  • Live Más
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34653 on: April 19, 2020, 01:01:38 PM »
easy solution: get a raidahs jersey instead 8)

DJ Bedroom

  • Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34654 on: April 19, 2020, 11:41:22 PM »
Maybe I'll just light a hundred bucks on fire instead

bork

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  • Global Moderator
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34655 on: April 20, 2020, 11:15:36 AM »
Yesterday I spoke with someone who wanted to format a PDF.  It was put together kind of strangely and I couldn't do what she was asking, so I suggested she contact what is essentially our word processing department (who she should have asked in the first place) for help.

This morning, she called back.

Caller: I need help with a PDF.  I want to change some text, but it's not working!
Me: ....Is this the same PDF from yesterday?
Caller: ......... :o...........
Caller: ...uh...no, it's not.
Me:  :doge  OK, let me hop on and see what's going on.
(Naturally, it's the same PDF)
Me: Did you contact the WP department for assistance? 
Caller: Yes, but it took them like EIGHT HOURS to get back to me and they have new staff and I don't know and I don't want to contact them and I'd rather call you guys to do it until they have act together.
Me: Well, unfortunately, there's only so much we can do.  This is exactly what they're here for.
Caller: But I don't want to talk to them!
Me:  .....
Me: OK, let's look at the document. 
Caller: I just want to move this text block here over to here!  I don't understand why this is so hard!  It's this program.  NO OFFENSE, but this program SUCKS!
Me: ( :lol) It's not the program, it's the document.  It's a PDF- you can't format quite the same way or as easily as say, Word.
Caller: BUT WHY NOT!  THIS IS SO STUPID!  THIS PROGRAM IS TO BLAME.
Me: It has to do with how the PDF was created and formatted.  This one is a little odd- I have an idea.  I'm going to export this page to .TIFF, then we can just cut and paste the text.  And...done.  Hmm...it's giving an error when I try to import it back into the PDF, though.  I can--
Caller: This is ridiculous.  You know what?  I have this as a Word document- it was originally a Word file.  I just wanted to convert it to PDF and edit it there!  I'll just edit the Word version and turn it back into a PDF. 


:crazy :titus :mindblown
...

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!  FUUUUUUCK :punch
:kinison

Got another call from this champion.  Went something like this:

Caller: Hi Bork, how are you doing today?
Me: Fine, and you?
Caller: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.  GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!  STOP THAT!
Me: Uh...?
Caller: I SAID GO AWAY YOU LITTLE SHIT!! 
Me: :crazy
Caller: Sorry, I'm fostering a puppy and he's getting in the way FUCK GO IN YOUR CAGE.  GO THERE NOW!!

 :-\

First time I've ever had to note "user was verbally-abusive towards an animal" in a ticket.
ど助平

team filler

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34656 on: April 21, 2020, 11:51:28 PM »
thebore.com really is the nightmare on elm street 2 of messageboards  :-[
*****

BlueTsunami

  • The Muffin Man
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34657 on: April 23, 2020, 11:35:11 AM »
Just woke up from a dream where I attempted to have sex with Betty Gilpin. Everything was going well, I carried her naked body to her bed (her being 5'7, me 5'4) after lots of flirting. For some reason the oral was not tickling her fancy. Her vagina was HUGE so there was this feeling of being lost in the labia. She then began to berate me in one of the most emasculating ways I've ever experienced. Like chastising a dog and not in some sorta sexy ooooh this could still go somewhere way but in a robe closed and yelling for me to get out of the room way . On the plus side I have this intense closeup image of Betty Gilpins stubbly vag in my head now.

For context, I'm an inch taller than Allison Brie pictured here with Betty Gilpin

« Last Edit: April 24, 2020, 02:43:42 AM by BlueTsunami »
:9

Pissy F Benny

  • Is down with the sickness
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34658 on: April 23, 2020, 11:46:05 AM »
best learn how to walk in high heels then m8 :heh
(ice)

BlueTsunami

  • The Muffin Man
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34659 on: April 23, 2020, 12:01:15 PM »
She would learn to love my undergrown femurs  :beli
:9

shosta

  • Y = λ𝑓. (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥)) (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥))
  • Senior Member
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34660 on: April 24, 2020, 12:02:25 AM »
My brother! My brother! My brother! A new beginning to a letter, though used by Marcus Tullius [Cicero] fourteen hundred years ago. Alas! my beloved brother, what shall I say? How shall I begin? Whither shall I turn? On all sides is sorrow; everywhere is fear. I would, my brother, that I had never been born, or, at least, had died before these times. How will posterity believe that there has been a time when without the lightnings of heaven or the fires of earth, without wars or other visible slaughter, not this or that part of the earth, but well-nigh the whole globe, has remained without inhabitants. When has any such thing been even heard or seen; in what annals has it ever been read that houses were left vacant, cities deserted, the country neglected, the fields too small for the dead and a fearful and universal solitude over the whole earth?... Oh happy people of the future, who have not known these miseries and perchance will class our testimony with the fables. We have, indeed, deserved these [punishments] and even greater; but our forefathers also have deserved them, and may our posterity not also merit the same...
  —Petrarch, in a letter to his brother, 1348
每天生气

bork

  • おっぱいは命、尻は故郷
  • Global Moderator
Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34661 on: April 24, 2020, 11:03:15 AM »
More nonsense from the same woman from earlier. 

Caller: I tried to email you guys some documents and it was rejected!  Bounceback!  I don't know why- these are small files.  The bounceback says [PROCEEDS TO START READING THE ENTIRE EMAIL AND ERRORS LISTED]--
Me: ...OK.  You emailed the wrong address.
Caller: No I didn't!
Me:  :doge
Me: You emailed a "no reply" address.  Let me connect and we'll make sure it goes to the right one.

Caller: OK, now that's done.  I see you sent it to "helpdesk."  That's funny- nobody here knows what "helpdesk" is.
Me: :crazy
Me: I can assure you we all know what the "help desk" is.
Caller: Well, nobody in [local branch office] did!
 :foodcourt

Caller: OK well thanks for helping me!  OH ONE MORE THING!
Me: :rage Yes?  :)
Caller: My printer here at home.  It's printing very lightly.  What should I do?
Me: I can't really help you with that, unfortunately.  Did you try changing the ink?
Caller: Yes and it's still light in this one part of the printouts.
Me: I would suggest contacting the manufacturer for assistance.
Caller: Well, what number is that?
Me: Uh...the number of the company who makes the printer...?
 :whatsthedeal
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bork

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34662 on: April 24, 2020, 11:08:22 AM »
Short n' sweet idiocy:

Caller: Can you remote on and look at my laptop?  It is getting some kind of error and ohhh I don't know.
Me: Sure, what's your computer name?
Caller: Huh?
Me: What's the device name of the laptop you're using?
Caller: HP.
Me: :dead
Me: I need to know what the name of your laptop is so I can connect to you.  It should be--
Caller: K, I'll just call back and talk to someone else thank you bye~

:dizzy
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bork

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34663 on: April 24, 2020, 12:20:02 PM »
Short n' sweet idiocy:

Caller: Can you remote on and look at my laptop?  It is getting some kind of error and ohhh I don't know.
Me: Sure, what's your computer name?
Caller: Huh?
Me: What's the device name of the laptop you're using?
Caller: HP.
Me: :dead
Me: I need to know what the name of your laptop is so I can connect to you.  It should be--
Caller: K, I'll just call back and talk to someone else thank you bye~

:dizzy

Now she doesn't want to talk to me and just goes "Uh I need another agent sorry" before hanging up.  :lol
:rejoice

EDIT: My co-worker said she's doing it to him, too! :rofl
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EchoRin

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34664 on: April 24, 2020, 12:34:57 PM »
I wonder what her endgame is if you and I'm guessing everyone else on your team needs the same info anyway ???

Ghoul

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34665 on: April 30, 2020, 02:15:06 AM »
Love those burn bridges guys, always fun when you’re the only one on and have to explain that you’re the only person working today after they’ve called a few times and you get this deep sigh. Especially fun when you could legitimately help them.

Work for me has been interesting working within an events company during this has been weird, a lot of staff now on furlough and those bright sparks are using company email to keep in contact, I would have probably locked down the account because someone bored at home and not working could be doing anything with that info, we’ve already had quite a few leavers which is insane to me in this climate but whatever.

I’m just trying to make licensing cheaper at the moment whilst taking some online courses about our new firewalls.
So I’m having quite a lot of fun for once although we’re one team member down and on reduced hours so having to also cover first line questions, which some of them I legitimately don’t understand how they can function in a world that is pretty tech based these days, I blame mobiles and tablets for people being allowed to be this stupid.

Also I am done with sending staff emails on update days no fucker reads them or I get a mac user asking why they are not getting updates when the subject line is UPDATES FOR WINDOWS MACHINES TODAY!! PLEASE RESTART!
« Last Edit: April 30, 2020, 02:22:18 AM by Ghoul »

bork

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34666 on: April 30, 2020, 01:22:05 PM »
I wonder what her endgame is if you and I'm guessing everyone else on your team needs the same info anyway ???

I can connect to her office desktop PC no problem, but she made it sound like she was using a laptop, borrowed from the office, to work from home, and that the problem was on the laptop.  From looking at the notes from the person she did talk to, it looked like the problem was on her desktop- she just talks too fast, often says the wrong terminology, and makes it difficult to figure things out. 

She has a habit of also emailing and calling about the same time almost simultaneously, then if she doesn't like what she is told or if two minutes have gone by (not an exaggeration) with no resolution, she calls right back again.  Usually when she gets to be a problem, I just email her supervisor and she behaves for a few months before starting up again.  :lol
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bork

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34667 on: April 30, 2020, 01:24:19 PM »
Paranoid: Ohmygawd, OK, so I was just on a call with [person] and we tried to share my screen.  I'm using my laptop.  She's using her Mac and phone.  It didn't work!  So anyway I just want to make sure that she can't see my screen!
Me: :doge Sure, let me take a look.
Me: We can confirm this by looking at what's going on in [application].  OK...you aren't sharing your screen.  There's--
Paranoid: HOW CAN YOU TELL?!  ARE YOU *SURE*?
Me: Uh--
Paranoid: I NEED TO MAKE SURE HERE.  I THINK SHE CAN STILL SEE MY SCREEN!
(Noting that she started the conversation by saying that this did not work.)
Me: --Yes.  We can look at this status window and see that the only thing going on is this phone call now.  If you were sharing your screen, a conversation window with the other person would be open.  You'd have options to stop sharing, too.
Paranoid: OK, BUT WHY!?
Me: I'm sorry...?
Paranoid: Why couldn't she see it on her Mac or phone or Office PC!?
 :mindblown
Me: I'm not sure without being able to see what happened, but this wouldn't work on a Mac or phone.  It would have to be on the office PC only.
Paranoid: So why didn't that work for her?
Me: Again, I would need to speak with her or see what's going on.  She might want to restart her PC if she's having these kinds of issues, though.
Paranoid: But how can she do that?  She's on a Mac at home using Citrix!
Me: Right- she can still restart her office PC.
Paranoid: HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?  IT'S A MAC!!
Me: The same way you would in the office.  Click the Start button and the power icon, then restart.
Paranoid: But it's a MAC!
Me: Right, but when you're using CITRIX, you can control your WINDOWS PC the same way.  It would restart and boot her out of Citrix, then after a few minutes she can reconnect.
Paranoid: Hmm.  OK.  I don't know about that.
 :mindblown :mindblown
Paranoid: What about my connections?  I want to be absolutely sure she's still not connected.  Can I just restart?
Me: Sure, but if you don't want to wait, you could also just close and restart [application] instead.
Paranoid: But restarting the computer will do it, right??
Me: Yes.
Paranoid: OK I'm going to restart thanks bye!

:titus
« Last Edit: April 30, 2020, 01:29:00 PM by bork »
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bork

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34668 on: April 30, 2020, 01:41:35 PM »
That reminds me.  Got this call yesterday about the same application:

Caller: Hi, can you show me how to share my screen in [application]?
Me: Sure!  It's very easy.  Let me hop on with you.
I demonstrate how to do screen sharing.
Caller: You'll have to forgive me, I'm old!  Can we do that again?
Me: Sure.  Do you want to try it this time?
Caller: Oh, OK.  Sorry, it might take me a bit.  I'm so bad at this stuff.  Your generation can do this so much better!  I'm an GEN-X'r.  47!
Me: :cornette

She kept going on about this.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm 38.
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Nintex

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34669 on: April 30, 2020, 01:51:25 PM »
You should've just said: "Yeet mood fam screen sharing is lit"
🤴

team filler

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34670 on: April 30, 2020, 01:53:20 PM »
nintex fanfic  :lol

borek fanfic  :zzz
*****

bork

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34671 on: April 30, 2020, 02:20:47 PM »
nintex fanfic  :lol

borek fanfic  :zzz

Rumbler like >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> filler like
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BIONIC

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34672 on: May 01, 2020, 01:46:21 AM »
nintex fanfic  :lol

borek fanfic  :zzz

Rumbler like >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> filler like

::)
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Joe Molotov

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34673 on: May 01, 2020, 02:33:06 AM »
nintex fanfic  :lol

borek fanfic  :zzz

Rumbler like >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> filler like

A lot of people have lost their likes due to covid-19, this isn't funny.
©@©™

Himu

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34674 on: May 01, 2020, 11:56:49 AM »
What if I have an idea for an invention that I feel is greatly needed? How do I make that happen?
IYKYK

Himu

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34675 on: May 01, 2020, 12:15:23 PM »
A self sustaining like machine?

We already have Filler. I refuse to sell off his job to a computer, daddeh!
IYKYK

Himu

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34676 on: May 01, 2020, 12:17:32 PM »
A self sustaining like machine?

I've already cloned filler and turned them into supersoldiers for my Shenzhen like farm. If Cindi tries to steal my intellectual property I won't tolerate it.

So now Filler has to compete with other Fillers! Why are you all so hell bent on replacing this mans job.
IYKYK

Ghoul

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34677 on: May 01, 2020, 02:09:10 PM »
someone from work called and text my personal number today.

I simply asked who it was an stated this is a personal number. They have not responded since.

I do want to know who it is though so I can find out who gave them my personal number and have a go about privacy etc.

Least that is this week done. Onto the next one.

nachobro

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34678 on: May 01, 2020, 02:18:49 PM »
i made the mistake of using my personal phone for a job before, worst idea ever. for months after i left there (entire dept laid off and replaced with third party) i'd get calls asking for help and after i told them about being laid off they'd just complain about the new team and how we should come back (like that was my choice :lol).

Ghoul

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Re: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening
« Reply #34679 on: May 01, 2020, 02:22:17 PM »
i made the mistake of using my personal phone for a job before, worst idea ever. for months after i left there (entire dept laid off and replaced with third party) i'd get calls asking for help and after i told them about being laid off they'd just complain about the new team and how we should come back (like that was my choice :lol).

Like few people have my personal number, just people I actually chat with and have beers with outside of work, so that's what is making me more confused over the situation.

I'm gonna text them back on Monday and just be like if you want to talk you can use teams, emails, my work phone? Never personal.