I like to inundate my readers with such a crazy blend and level of factual, emotional, and anecdotal information that sometimes I forget they have to Google the things they don't know because I'm too self-conscious to mark up my own work.
As an aside, my parents never talked to me like I was a child when I was actually a child--for example, if I had a friend who was a troublemaker he wasn't "trouble" or "bad news," he was an "agent provocateur," (with proper French pronunciation) which is something I'm not even sure every reader here would know without a web search, let alone a child. I was also quite fond of being told "Arbeit macht frei" (without proper German pronunciation) when I whined about doing chores... let's say when I learned about a specific period in history in high school I was all
.
If you're wondering why they did this, which you probably aren't, I don't recall unfortunately. I don't think I even really understood how unnatural my childhood vocabulary was. (I remember once using "halcyon" for the H in my MOTHER acrostic for Nth grade art class and my teacher practically rolled their eyes out of their head.) Perhaps they thought it would turn me into a prodigy instead of the enfant terrible I became, but now that I'm old and don't care about being cool the consequences are embarrassing. I said Steve Nash was ignominious in a business meeting the other week when queried about associating the organization with him and everyone looked at me like I was speaking Martian instead of baby talk from my own childhood.
ANYWAYS, I was going to start working out again tomorrow actually, but thanks for the suggestion. In her last emotionally distant communication to me my ex said (among other things) that she hoped I would take better care of myself and that's why I went to the doctor today instead of doing more of the stupid shit I did over the weekend to treat an obvious medical condition. She always asked very little of me, I figured it wasn't much to oblige her last request.
One of my favorite Mayakovsky poems is "Conversation with a Tax Collector About Poetry" because to really appreciate it you have to have both passion and a familiarity with self-employment taxation, which is a combination I'm comfortable in assuming is not particularly prevalent in the general population. Babbling introduction aside, there's a verse in that poem I'm most fond of--"Then there’s amortization, \ the deadliest of all; \ amortization \ of the heart and soul." Who I was is almost fully amortized, it's time to acquire a new intangible asset.
