How do you guys feel about hanging with your pal and thier GFS? Being a third wheel basicly.
I don't find it particularly enjoyable most of the time, because it usually seems like the dynamic changes and the other dude feels the need to show off or the girl needs the attention or control. I have one friend who's gf fits in pretty damn well and she's cool so it's no problem.
Anyway, I think I've talked about this before but a friend of mine who is basically my brother is back on leave from the Air Force. He decided to bring his GF. Now this sounds fine until it becomes clear this girl is a psychopath.
Now I've never met her before, so really I get this from him. Talk of her being controlling to the point yelling at him for basicly playing video games online with another girl. He makes her sound terrible and pretty much emtionally fragile to a ridiclous extreme. He's not allowed to interact with another fmelae, have female friends, he has to have set time with her, when they interact he has to drop everything and pay attention to her, he has to finiancly support her, and so on. If she dosen't she'll kill herself.
I was told about this in the first few months when you know it's all supposed to be sugar and raindbows and it's been consitent stressfull and terrible stories for the past year.
Either way she sounds terrible and I already have a negative impression.
And on a shallow level she dosen't sound like my kind of person when it comes to intrest or personality, which is fine because well none of my friends are like me. Still, at first I'm pretty uncomfortable with people I don't know and don't know if they will respond well to me. Add in that I already have ane xtrmley negative impresson of her and it's not good.
Then again, my friend's mom thinks she's bad news. She brought up to me at the most random time, when I went to pick up a thing for my friend from his house.
But I get it. He's a dude who needs to be in a relationship. No mater the quality or anything. He needs the concept of being loved and wanted regardless if it's actually bad. He's vindicated by being in a relationship and thats his life goal. I know that he has a dedication to that and really in the end we'll probably stop being friends because he won't have time for anyone else but his family.
It sucks but thats life I guess. It would just be nice if it wasn't also with an extremely needey and controlling person.
Either way, all I wanted to was to hang out with my friend/brother who I haven't seen in person in over a year. but with this person not only do I doubt I will, but it for sure won't be the same. it can't be and at this point I kind of just want to cut my ties. Does that make me sound like a bad person?
Of course it sucks because I took off a couple of days from work next week for this.
Because he already spent two weeks before with her. I would have thought that was enough.
Yet, before I would have begurdingly met this person until she sent me 50 million facebook messages blaming me for thier "break up".
A lot of shit here.
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Why are you trying to hurt me and get Dale to leave me? He told me about it. I did nothing wrong to you. I did nothing but like you as someone Dale knows. I am going through a lot and my dad is dying. I am a good person and a good girlfriend to Dale, and I love him very much. I have done nothing but care about him and be there for him, even at times when he has been mean to me. Why would you get involved in our relationship and tell him to be horrible to me? That is not right. Why are you doing this?
He told me you like me. Why would you do that to me?
You acted like you liked me. I have been nothing but nice to you.
You don't even know me
I just don't understand why you would do that?
September 26th, 1:50pm
Because I only have his perspective on things and regardless if your telling the truth or not, he makes you sound like a terrible person who is overly dependent and unrealstic with your demands
You're right, I don't know you.
I only know what Dale tells me
and what he tells me is'nt very good
and so as his friend and a sane person my advice would be "leave this person"
Is he telling me the truth?
I don't know
but I also don't care, because of course I'm going to belive what he says
so you should'nt be coming at me like this
you should be talking to dale
but if your demands to Dale or things like "don't talk to other people" or anything that basicly slides into the territory of " I'm controlling, don't have a life"
then yeah, I'm going to suggest he leave you
because pretty much everything he says about you is'nt good
and thats the truth
I mean why else do you think I'd say "yeah Dale, this GF sounds bad"
if he was saying extremley postive things or nothing at all, I'd have nothing to say
Why would I get inovled? Thats kind of a dumb question. Dale is my best friend and he talks to me about these things.. Is he not supposed to? That sounds like something you;d demand honestly
I never acted like anything by the way
September 26th, 3:01pm
I am not a terrible person and I do tell the truth. I am really good to him. I don't see how he would say anything bad about me. You don't have the whole story and all the facts and no you shouldn't get involved in someone else's relationship, especially when you don't know the other person or the whole story. I am not a bad GF. Try to get to know someone before you pass judgment on them.
And no it's not a dumb question. If you have an issue about something you talk to the person you're in a relationship with about it, not someone else.
And no it's not something I would demand. I am not overly dependent or unrealistic. You obviously have the wrong idea and if he said something to you like that then he needs to address it with me first.
I have a lot going on. My dad is dying. Any issues are bc of the distance and I am always there for him. I am not controlling. He is happy with me, especially when we are in person.
I never told him don't have a life or anything. And I never came at you. I wanted to know why you would even say that abour me and try to hurt me when I'm a good person and I am good to Dale.
About* me
What does he say about me? Why doesn't he say things to me about any of this or talk to me about it then?
I didn't say don't talk to other people. There are certain things that are wrong to do and not ok and he told me he would never do, but I didn't say don't talk to anyone at all and I didn't say anything about you so that doesn't concern you.
There are things that happened that are not ok to do and make it especially not ok to do and it involves other girls and he told me he would never do that. That doesn't concern you.
You don't even know me to pass judgment on me or to say something sounds like what I would demand bc you don't know me. I am someone who really cares about and loves Dale bc I care I was asking you why you would say such things about me when you don't even know me.
And you don't tell them to leave me bc of anything going on bc of the distance. You tell them to talk to me about it and work it out and make it better. I obviously care about Dale a lot. I was also looking forward to meeting you and being friends with you too.
Especially when it's something that can be easily worked out with a good conversation with me.
look I don't care. I don't know you. Honestly I don't want to know you. I really don't want you to come back home with him when he comes home. All I know is what he tells me and what he tells me is bad. He makes you sound like a person he needs to get away from. Maybe you should talk to him about that not me
Why would you even say that? You don't even know me. I am not someone he needs to get away from. That's really messed up. I was hoping to know you and be friends with you.
Well maybe you should talk to dale as to why he makes you sound awful
And not me since I'm only going off what he says
September 26th, 7:25pm
If this is about you guys breaking up, you should talk to him. That's not on me
September 26th, 11:08pm
We're not breaking up. That is on you though. Then tell him to talk to me
About everything
Excuse me your relationship is not my job. If someone tells me they are in a controlling and terrible relationship to the point that they never say anything positive my advice won't be to hang in there
You aren't broken up? That's what he told me. If you aren't and your trying to salvage it that's your business
I didn't tell him to do anything I just gave advice. Anything he did is his own choice
So yeah I'm done here. Again this is not my fault at all, maybe think of your own faults and stop looking for a way out
September 27th, 2:02am
I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not looking for a way out. You think of your own faults. Because all I've done is been nice to you and I don't deserve you to be mean to me. It is on you though. Apparently you have decided things for him and influenced me without even knowing me and how much it hurts me. I did nothing wrong to you or him. I am a good person with a good heart and he knows that.
Apparently you have decided things for him and influenced him about*** me without even knowing me and how much it hurts me.
I really don't deserve you to be mean to me. I even would tell him to call you at times. I even tried to be a friend to you and tell you I would like to be. I did nothing wrong.
I'm sorry if you feel that way, but know that I was always nice to you and I just tried to be your friend also.
You don't know me at all so please do not judge me. I never judged you.
I have been honest, loyal, and faithful to Dale and I have been a good person to him, and I have done a lot for him. It really hurts that you would tell him to leave me. I did nothing wrong to you or him. I never wronged him. I was always there for him and I have cared for him and supported him any way I could.
That is wrong of you to say those things. You do not know me, and I honestly only tried to be nice to you and be friends with you also, because Dale has been ok with that, and if you actually got to know me, you would know that.
You seem to have taken everything away from me and taken away the person I love the most, and that is Dale. And I didn't do anything wrong. He has been my everything. And I'm sorry to say that, but I am so upset.
It is not right. And I am sorry to say that, but again, I am so upset.
Yeah after I got that randomly one day, I was like "eh I'd rather not meet her ever".
I mean all I did was say "hey this girl sounds kind of bad, maybe you should just end the relationship", which I don't think is insane when your friend is talking to you about their bad relationship.
Then again, I'm not an expert on such things.
I don't know, I'm pretty sure if I decide never too meet up with my friend it will be very damaging, but end the end what is the point? it's pointless to meet up if that girl is around.