Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[CajoleJuice]

this is why the key to any successful relationship is not being friends on facebook

[CajoleJuice]

i'm going to hold off on being facebook friends with some girl i'm seeing as long as possible

she will also never know about twitter

[Himu]

what's wrong with texting

[BlackMage]

SHE'S NOT PREGNANT WOOHOO!!!!!

[CajoleJuice]

what's wrong with texting

waiting for the reply

SHE'S NOT PREGNANT WOOHOO!!!!!

no shit

[Phoenix Dark]

SHE'S NOT PREGNANT WOOHOO!!!!!

[Himu]

look at the kid on the monitor

[Mupepe]

As long as you're not coming off like some weirdo who's going to start sending her 6 dozen flowers at work everyday then who cares if you get excited?  If you're not crossing over into creeper territory then fuck it and be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. 

[Mupepe]

I'm never THAT bad. Honestly.

Its more like, oh you'd like this song, this song, oh let me just make you a mix on 8tracks.

I am that way too.  I used to be afraid that I was being too forward too soon.  But honestly, I knew my wife was special when I met her and shit like that didn't make a difference because she was excited to share stuff with me too. 

[CajoleJuice]

dude, she'll get back to you

[Mupepe]

So I don't know what the hell is going on then. There's something I'm not doing right and if its not that I'm too excited, I have no idea.

I think it's going back to overthinking it.  There's probably nothing wrong at all.  And if there is something wrong it came about from you being yourself (but not a creeper) so don't put too much thought into it.  It sucks if you really like her but if you haven't overtly done anything to turn her off then it's probably not something you can really fix.  It could be a million things wrong with her or she just might not be as interested.  Either way, the best thing to do in most of these situations is let it run its course without overreacting or overthinking yourself into a nervous breakdown.  Maybe she forgot her phone at home. *shrug*

[Mupepe]

Well the same advice applies to dating in general.  I think unapologetically being yourself is the most overlooked aspect in dating.  Theoretically this person (and you) are applying to try to spend your life together.  Don't hold back.  As long as you're not busting farts or trying to play grab ass on the first date then by all means, just be yourself.  If it does happen to turn them off then it most likely would have at some point anyways.  Better sooner than later. 

That wasn't necessarily directed specifically at you mojo.  But I always read this thread and it's people asking "What am I doing wrong?"  Finding a truly compatible person is just difficult.  Even more so when you're not setting up a facade to appease the other person. 

[FatalT]

The key to not over-thinking is to just not give a shit. Put yourself above the girl you're interested in. If you don't immediately jump at your phone when you get a text message, you're doing it right. This sounds horrible in text but I assure you, it will make you feel better.

[Lan]

SHE'S NOT PREGNANT WOOHOO!!!!!

Grats you do not want a baby momma.

[BlackMage]

I dodged a bullet there. Remember kids, wrap it up!!! 

[Verdigris Murder]

I realised a while back, that having a gf is having something that will give you pleasure, but you must nourish, comfort and feed it, like a pet or a plant.

[Bebpo]

So I didn't want to post about my last situation, but I do think some advice would be helpful.  I'll try to make it short and to the point.

I tried to date a single girl who I've been hanging out with in a social group for the last month who is 100% fallen/ridiculously into another guy (who lives 2 hours away) and they are in the initial first dates stages and there's probably a good chance it won't work (he didn't ask her on a date, she asked him and their date was awkward).  This was, in retrospect, a bad idea because tunnel-vision and all that.  But at the same time I didn't want to sit on it and wait months before finding out if she is interested (had been giving me mixed signals all the time; sometimes thought she was flirting, sometimes ignoring).  Went on 1st date (I'm not sure if she realized it was a date until during the date), it wasn't the best, but it wasn't bad.  She was laughing, stories were told, not much silence, she walked me to my car at the end.

2 days later I texted her that I had a good time at dinner, made a short joke, and casually invited her to a social outting doing something we share a mutual interest in over the weekend.  There wasn't much notice, it was a Friday and the weekend was the next day & two. 

She didn't send a reply that day (I texted her in the afternoon), instead she sent a short one the next morning saying "thanks again (for dinner), I've got plans this weekend, have fun".  I took the length of time that it took for her to reply combined with the decline to be a "thanks, but I'm not interested in you".  Which is fine, so I moved on to other girls.

We haven't spoken by text/calls/facebook chat or anything since her reply Saturday morning, it's now Wednesday.  I'm starting to have second thoughts that maybe I misread it and she was just busy and may still be interested.  I'm not sure what to do.  Should I contact her and try again?  If not, I'll probably see her this weekend at one of the social group things.  I could just talk to her then as well, but if she's not interested it could be pretty awkward especially in front of her friends.  Otoh, I feel like maybe giving her some space right now might be what she wants, so maybe I should hold off on any pursuing for a little while she sorts out her situation with the guy she really likes.

I don't really like her that much.  She has a lot of dealbreakers, but she also has a lot of positive traits and is a very interesting person, so if there is a chance I'd like to give another shot.  Also she is a super shy and tries to be nice to everyone and if she wasn't interested in me I don't think she would ever tell me "No, I'm not interested in you", she would just sort of do the "Oh, that sounds fun.  Sorry but I can't" until I stop inviting her to things (which is why I thought her reply was her signaling she wasn't interested).

[tiesto]

I'm totally fine when I see the girls, I might let some stupid things slip out, but its when there's some distance that I get nervous, when I don't get immediate feedback.

I've done Match, and really, its the same pool. Girls go on Paysites so men will stop soliciting them for sex. They have the impression that there are more serious men on it, but that's not true at all.

Honestly, I think the best thing to do is just be more active in your social life and veer outside of your circle of friends. The more you go out and do things you like, the more you'll do what you like and meet people who have similar interests.

We all know that online chemistry doesn't always translate in real life, so why not just cut it out?

Well, I do go out a fair amount and do a variety of different activities - from standard barhopping, to clubs/festivals, to cons and other things... occasionally lately I've been hanging out with new acquaintances and I'm never afraid to venture out of my comfort zone. Unfortunately, where I live is a suburb where most people around my age are married and with kids (since young people are severely priced out of the market here). NYC is an hour away but a lot of girls there aren't really interested when you tell them you're from the island (NYCers generally don't like to leave the city if they can help it, I've found).

I don't exclusively rely on online dating, it's just nice to use to meet people that I might not normally run into. I'm a bit of an introvert - in the "need time alone to recharge" way not the "antisocial misanthrope" way, and I find I do best with introverted girls, who will much more readily be found on a dating site than out fist-pumping at an Avicii show.

[tiesto]

So I didn't want to post about my last situation, but I do think some advice would be helpful.  I'll try to make it short and to the point.

I tried to date a single girl who I've been hanging out with in a social group for the last month who is 100% fallen/ridiculously into another guy (who lives 2 hours away) and they are in the initial first dates stages and there's probably a good chance it won't work (he didn't ask her on a date, she asked him and their date was awkward).  This was, in retrospect, a bad idea because tunnel-vision and all that.  But at the same time I didn't want to sit on it and wait months before finding out if she is interested (had been giving me mixed signals all the time; sometimes thought she was flirting, sometimes ignoring).  Went on 1st date (I'm not sure if she realized it was a date until during the date), it wasn't the best, but it wasn't bad.  She was laughing, stories were told, not much silence, she walked me to my car at the end.

2 days later I texted her that I had a good time at dinner, made a short joke, and casually invited her to a social outting doing something we share a mutual interest in over the weekend.  There wasn't much notice, it was a Friday and the weekend was the next day & two. 

She didn't send a reply that day (I texted her in the afternoon), instead she sent a short one the next morning saying "thanks again (for dinner), I've got plans this weekend, have fun".  I took the length of time that it took for her to reply combined with the decline to be a "thanks, but I'm not interested in you".  Which is fine, so I moved on to other girls.

We haven't spoken by text/calls/facebook chat or anything since her reply Saturday morning, it's now Wednesday.  I'm starting to have second thoughts that maybe I misread it and she was just busy and may still be interested.  I'm not sure what to do.  Should I contact her and try again?  If not, I'll probably see her this weekend at one of the social group things.  I could just talk to her then as well, but if she's not interested it could be pretty awkward especially in front of her friends.  Otoh, I feel like maybe giving her some space right now might be what she wants, so maybe I should hold off on any pursuing for a little while she sorts out her situation with the guy she really likes.

I don't really like her that much.  She has a lot of dealbreakers, but she also has a lot of positive traits and is a very interesting person, so if there is a chance I'd like to give another shot.  Also she is a super shy and tries to be nice to everyone and if she wasn't interested in me I don't think she would ever tell me "No, I'm not interested in you", she would just sort of do the "Oh, that sounds fun.  Sorry but I can't" until I stop inviting her to things (which is why I thought her reply was her signaling she wasn't interested).

Just read the bold, you should know what to do... seems like she's not at all right for you and you'd only be wasting each other's time.

What are the dealbreakers, btw? 

[Phoenix Dark]

So I didn't want to post about my last situation, but I do think some advice would be helpful.  I'll try to make it short and to the point.

I tried to date a single girl who I've been hanging out with in a social group for the last month who is 100% fallen/ridiculously into another guy (who lives 2 hours away) and they are in the initial first dates stages and there's probably a good chance it won't work (he didn't ask her on a date, she asked him and their date was awkward).  This was, in retrospect, a bad idea because tunnel-vision and all that.  But at the same time I didn't want to sit on it and wait months before finding out if she is interested (had been giving me mixed signals all the time; sometimes thought she was flirting, sometimes ignoring).  Went on 1st date (I'm not sure if she realized it was a date until during the date), it wasn't the best, but it wasn't bad.  She was laughing, stories were told, not much silence, she walked me to my car at the end.

2 days later I texted her that I had a good time at dinner, made a short joke, and casually invited her to a social outting doing something we share a mutual interest in over the weekend.  There wasn't much notice, it was a Friday and the weekend was the next day & two. 

She didn't send a reply that day (I texted her in the afternoon), instead she sent a short one the next morning saying "thanks again (for dinner), I've got plans this weekend, have fun".  I took the length of time that it took for her to reply combined with the decline to be a "thanks, but I'm not interested in you".  Which is fine, so I moved on to other girls.

We haven't spoken by text/calls/facebook chat or anything since her reply Saturday morning, it's now Wednesday.  I'm starting to have second thoughts that maybe I misread it and she was just busy and may still be interested.  I'm not sure what to do.  Should I contact her and try again?  If not, I'll probably see her this weekend at one of the social group things.  I could just talk to her then as well, but if she's not interested it could be pretty awkward especially in front of her friends.  Otoh, I feel like maybe giving her some space right now might be what she wants, so maybe I should hold off on any pursuing for a little while she sorts out her situation with the guy she really likes.

I don't really like her that much.  She has a lot of dealbreakers, but she also has a lot of positive traits and is a very interesting person, so if there is a chance I'd like to give another shot.  Also she is a super shy and tries to be nice to everyone and if she wasn't interested in me I don't think she would ever tell me "No, I'm not interested in you", she would just sort of do the "Oh, that sounds fun.  Sorry but I can't" until I stop inviting her to things (which is why I thought her reply was her signaling she wasn't interested).

Don't contact her again. It would be desperate and she would see through it. You'll be hanging out with her again soon right: act like nothing happened and see what she says. Maybe she'll bring the message up, maybe not. But considering she has some issues in terms of deal breakers and you aren't super into her, no need to over reach

[Bebpo]

Thanks PD.  That's helpful.  Yeah, next time I see her I was planning on just saying hi and treating it like nothing happened and we're just back to hanging out as friends within the group again.

Just read the bold, you should know what to do... seems like she's not at all right for you and you'd only be wasting each other's time.

What are the dealbreakers, btw? 

-Too drug friendly for me ("list of things I want to do before I die: Try LSD, Shrooms", my reply to that "You want to try LSD?  :\"); I'm 100% cool with weed smokers, but I couldn't date someone who did hard drugs where I need to worry about them ODing one day.
-Can be kind of flakey.
-Really seems like she wants to move to another state in 6months to get a fresh start and leave everything here behind. 
-Is too shy/awkward for me.  I think it would make a relationship tougher than it would normally be because she wouldn't be open about things and I'd never have any idea what she was thinking.
-MAIN PROBLEM: She is a girl who had one major long term relationship for several years, got out if it, and has been screwed up baggage since.  It's been 1.3 years already, but 3 of the last 4 girls I've dated had this situation and getting out of your first long term teenage -> early 20s relationship leaves  SO MANY EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS.  I should know since I didn't date a single girl for 5-6 years after I got out of my first at 19.  These girls don't know what they want, are confused as hell, and will drive you nuts.  I don't need nuts in my life now that I finally have my shit together.
-Is crazy into 60s-80s music and I'm more into 90s/modern indie music.

Pros:
-Is really mature for her age.  Thinks before answering questions and can give opinions with depth
-intelligent
-knows a foreign language which is a huge turn on for me since I love language and I want to learn many more
-is incredibly kind and nice and good hearted
-possibly has a good job/career lined up if she doesn't quit school and move and do something else in 6 months.
-has a good sense of humor
-neat hobbies like surfing and guitar
-really really cute

I think she'd match up good with like a Bro dude, whereas I'm about 2 steps away from being a hipster half the time.  But I do enjoy being around her and if there's any interest I'm game to at least get to know her better and see if there's a spark.

[brawndolicious]

hey I know a foreign language.

[chronovore]

Just got stood up.. fuck women, seriously.

In college I was pretty desperate for a date, so I asked out some girl from BIO 100, who I wasn't even really into. I just wanted... I dunno, a "practice date" or something. I didn't feel a lot of pressure to make it work.

Evidently she felt even less pressure, because she never showed up at the restaurant. I was sad for a bit, but realized I didn't even have to worry about a 2nd date or breaking up; the whole thing was stillborn before it ever started, and I didn't even have to pay for her dinner to find out it wouldn't work.

I dodged a bullet there. Remember kids, wrap it up!!! 

Plus: AIDS. So wrap it up.

[Bebpo]

I've never had a girl stand me up.  Feel good about that.  Had girls run late, and after the date I've had girls told me they kept going back and forth over whether they wanted to show up or bail, but in the end they all showed up.  I tend to talk to a girl a lot before I do the first date though, so I think that makes them more comfortable since they kind of know me and if they don't show after they said they would they'll feel like jerks.

hey I know a foreign language.

That's a good thing!  Makes you interesting and helps for jobs too.  I'd say 75% of my casual conversations/job conversations end up on "woah, you know Japanese??" within the first 10 mins.  Language is cool.  I wanna learn French, German, Spanish this decade of my life.

[FatalT]

-MAIN PROBLEM: She is a girl who had one major long term relationship for several years, got out if it, and has been screwed up baggage since.  It's been 1.3 years already, but 3 of the last 4 girls I've dated had this situation and getting out of your first long term teenage -> early 20s relationship leaves  SO MANY EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS.  I should know since I didn't date a single girl for 5-6 years after I got out of my first at 19.  These girls don't know what they want, are confused as hell, and will drive you nuts.  I don't need nuts in my life now that I finally have my shit together.

This made me feel like shit Bebpo. It's pretty much exactly how I've been the past few months since my long-term relationshit break-up. I've since realized this fact and have made measures to change though but wow. Hammer meet nail.

[Human Snorenado]

Stupid overthinking. Girl is still talking to me, and a mutual friend suggested we double date on a weekend in Vermont and she agreed.

Oh MAN.

Just gotta play it like Fonzi, man.

And what's Fonzi like, motherfuckers?  That's right, Fonzi is COOL.

[Bebpo]

-MAIN PROBLEM: She is a girl who had one major long term relationship for several years, got out if it, and has been screwed up baggage since.  It's been 1.3 years already, but 3 of the last 4 girls I've dated had this situation and getting out of your first long term teenage -> early 20s relationship leaves  SO MANY EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS.  I should know since I didn't date a single girl for 5-6 years after I got out of my first at 19.  These girls don't know what they want, are confused as hell, and will drive you nuts.  I don't need nuts in my life now that I finally have my shit together.

This made me feel like shit Bebpo. It's pretty much exactly how I've been the past few months since my long-term relationshit break-up. I've since realized this fact and have made measures to change though but wow. Hammer meet nail.

Sorry man, but it's a normal thing so don't let it get you down.  I'd wager most people go through this phase after their first longterm serious relationship breakup.  The trick to recovery though is to just get back out there and date LOTS OF PEOPLE.  You don't want to get stuck attaching to people.  So date around until you feel good and back together mentally and emotionally.  Then you can look for the next long term relationship.

The worst thing to do is to simply stop dating and figure you just need time to get over it and sort your baggage out.  It doesn't work and you just waste years that should have been spent doing the above and getting you back emotionally healthy.

I think people still feel the same way after subsequent break ups as well, but it gets easier each time to recover and get back on the dating train.  I feel pretty comfortable myself at this point, which is why I really want to stick to dating women who are also comfortable emotionally & mentally at this point.  Unfortunately the girls I'm physically attracted to aren't those women :X 

[CajoleJuice]

it's just nice to see a dude as awesome as mojo overthink things when he clearly is the 1%

[Verdigris Murder]

Some people overthink women waaaay too much.

[tiesto]

-MAIN PROBLEM: She is a girl who had one major long term relationship for several years, got out if it, and has been screwed up baggage since.  It's been 1.3 years already, but 3 of the last 4 girls I've dated had this situation and getting out of your first long term teenage -> early 20s relationship leaves  SO MANY EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS.  I should know since I didn't date a single girl for 5-6 years after I got out of my first at 19.  These girls don't know what they want, are confused as hell, and will drive you nuts.  I don't need nuts in my life now that I finally have my shit together.

This made me feel like shit Bebpo. It's pretty much exactly how I've been the past few months since my long-term relationshit break-up. I've since realized this fact and have made measures to change though but wow. Hammer meet nail.

Sorry man, but it's a normal thing so don't let it get you down.  I'd wager most people go through this phase after their first longterm serious relationship breakup.  The trick to recovery though is to just get back out there and date LOTS OF PEOPLE.  You don't want to get stuck attaching to people.  So date around until you feel good and back together mentally and emotionally.  Then you can look for the next long term relationship.

The worst thing to do is to simply stop dating and figure you just need time to get over it and sort your baggage out.  It doesn't work and you just waste years that should have been spent doing the above and getting you back emotionally healthy.

I think people still feel the same way after subsequent break ups as well, but it gets easier each time to recover and get back on the dating train.  I feel pretty comfortable myself at this point, which is why I really want to stick to dating women who are also comfortable emotionally & mentally at this point.  Unfortunately the girls I'm physically attracted to aren't those women :X

Oh man, I've been depressed a bit because while at Otakon... I was talking to a girl who reminded me a LOT of my ex. Same style attire, tomboyish appearance, but younger. And the girl at Otakon was all into vocaloids and stuff (unlike my ex, who didn't care for any of that, her nerd interests were Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings). That reminded me of the ex, and I haven't been doing too well on the dating scene lately...

...though I might be going out with a girl who used to be a figure skater in Germany when she was younger, and now is going for a PhD in neuroscience.

Plus I'm thinking I want a girl with a bit more in common with me than the last few ex's, someone who would do stuff like go to cons, who would enjoy going to a music festival with me... but most of OKC is your regular LI girl or "outdoorsy" people (I am not at all outdoorsy).

[Van Cruncheon]

man, if you want female attention, get a fuckin' motorcycle. WHERE WERE YOU SLOPPY VAGINAS 15 YEARS AGO???

[Phoenix Dark]

Says the man with the scooter

[MrAngryFace]

He has a motorcycle now sir

[Atramental]

*begins saving money for a motorcycle*

[MrAngryFace]

I'd look distinguished mentally-challenged on a motorcycle unfortunately

[BlackMage]

I'd look distinguished mentally-challenged on a motorcycle unfortunately

nobody looks distinguished mentally-challenged on a motorcyle.. all leathered up with a matte black tinted helmet. you'll look like a badass

[Boogie]

The 1% of game, sir.

[BlackMage]

being married doesn't make you a 1 percenter. are you nuts?

[BlackMage]

Finding a woman you love that loves you back enough to say yes is pretty baller. We're the unwanted masses!

speak for yourself. I'm ballin!! 

[Bebpo]

man, if you want female attention, get a fuckin' motorcycle. WHERE WERE YOU SLOPPY VAGINAS 15 YEARS AGO???

Yeah, I've known this for a bunch of years.  But down here traffic is way too dangerous for motorcycles.  Not really a laugh in the face of death guy.

[tiesto]

One of my close college friends was killed in a motorcycle accident  :'(

[MrAngryFace]

I dunno, I prefer my mustang so whatever

[Bebpo]

I like my S2000.

[Human Snorenado]

Guys, I think I might have just fucked up with this girl I've been talking to online, she said she was looking up inspirational quotes so I im'd her this:

 

[brawndolicious]

I had a date a few days ago where I mentioned that I was thinking about getting a motorcycle to replace my dying car.

As someone who has never ridden a motorcycle, how hard would it be to learn so I don't come off as a liar?

[Himu]

Aren't motorcycle deaths high?

[Cerveza mas fina]

Aren't motorcycle deaths high?

Yeah very high compared to cars.

I'm putting a down payment on my first shitty girls learner bike soon (tomorrow?).

[brawndolicious]

I think I heard most motorcycle deaths are actually caused by getting rear-ended.

[chronovore]

I'd look distinguished mentally-challenged on a motorcycle unfortunately

nobody looks distinguished mentally-challenged on a motorcyle.. all leathered up with a matte black tinted helmet. you'll look like a badass

Bad. Ass.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[demi]

Seat with a view

[Reb]

I think I heard most motorcycle deaths are actually caused by getting rear-ended.

Also, no births are caused by rear-ending.

[CajoleJuice]

Finding a woman you love that loves you back enough to say yes is pretty baller. We're the unwanted masses!

I guess Mupepe is the best since he got two to say yes.

[Mupepe]

There was no love in the first marriage!  It was a shotgun wedding 

[BlackMage]

There was no love in the first marriage!  It was a shotgun wedding 

always a man of lust

[Phoenix Dark]

I've been trying to think of a Hispanic joke I can make to create a "moar like a ______ wedding amirite" joke but I can't  :'(

[Huff]

My grandma is trying to set me up with one of her friends granddaughters. I feel like I should be embarrassed but I'm interested in seeing how this situation plays out.

[Huff]

I really don't have any better options currently, so what the hell why not

[Van Cruncheon]

Aren't motorcycle deaths high?

Yeah very high compared to cars.

I'm putting a down payment on my first shitty girls learner bike soon (tomorrow?).

dude, a year from now you MUST report in from the seat of your litre bike with the smell of euro pussy juices drenching you and tell us mortals how it feels to be THE LORD OF SMANG

[MrAngryFace]

I suspect a lot of motorcycle deaths have to do with people just buyin crazy ass bikes and never learning shit. Even 4chan keeps a running sticky on their auto forum to educate people on motorcycles. FUCKIN 4CHAN of all places!

[Van Cruncheon]

yup. take the classes, and start small. also, don't take curves off the track at 100+, don't drink and drive, stay off the road imnediately after it rains, watch for edge traps and NEVER EVER trust a left-turning driver.