Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[Phoenix Dark]

Fuck you guys. 80% of the messages I've received say "hi I see you like Harry Potter! Who is ur fav character?"

[Shaka Khan]

Unless you're a stud a simple "hello" or "hey" will get you ignored.

You have to make it fun and interesting for them right out the gate.

I usually open with "Hey, which would you rather have? A house made out of cheese 2x4s or a house made out of fudge brownie bricks?" or something similar to that. More often than not I get a response because it's different from what other guys do.

No offense, but this sounds neither interesting nor fun. :|

[Robo]

Cheese 2x4s would stink to high heaven.

[Shaka Khan]

Seriously, I'd probably block anyone with that opener. Might as well go with "Who'd win in a fight, He-Man equipped with Cap's shield or a Laser breathing dragon" while we're at it.

[Shaka Khan]

HURT: Sephiroth
HEAL: Sonic

[Barry Egan]

I open with "what are your thoughts on Aguirre?"

[MyNameIsMethodis]

I've just been saying "Oh you like this artist thats cool"

[Shaka Khan]

Atra's logic is sound though, if you ain't a stud you need a better hook than a "hello", albeit not the one he suggested.

[Robo]

.

[Shaka Khan]

Same here. Never had to go even go through the trouble of sending anyone messages. I just create my profile, put up a picture, and everyone starts flocking. Same as real life.

[brawndolicious]

But you're gay, shaka. Atra's message tries too hard to stand out. No matter how shitty your message is, the girl is reading it and if she's smart, she's first visiting your profile in an incognito tab so you can't see if she visited yet.

Just be creative, funny, and upfront and you'll do fine on the site.

[Shaka Khan]

Whoa, who said anything about being gay, breh?

[brawndolicious]

You are on the down low, pencil-grabbing, cock-crunching heathen right? I don't know, what would you say you are?

[Robo]

Shaka is a beautiful young man in the prime of his life—stop trying to shackle him with your primitive labels and base expectations.

[Phoenix Dark]

Could have sworn Shaka said he was bi

[Shaka Khan]

I'm a god fearing hetero who greatly appreciates the male physique. What's so gay about that?

[chronovore]

[Robo]

.

[Inspector Thatcher]

I don't know how to talk to girls on online dating sites what am I supposed to say for a first message or what do you guys say? i'm not totally idiotic but i'm not sure what the protocol is. is it just a simple "hello!"

Unless you're a stud a simple "hello" or "hey" will get you ignored.

Actually, i get the most replies from something like "hey, i saw your profile and you seem interesting. let me know if you're interested in getting to know each other. (insert crack/tidbit/ about something in her profile here).

I'm actually going on my first OKC date tomorrow, shit

For what it's worth, a view from the other side: It's always refreshing to receive a message that doesn't contain pornographic references, terrible slang, or gag-worthy spelling and grammar errors.  It's as though... you put some thought and consideration into it.  Or, maybe that you're actually sane.

Good on you for keeping it simple, and good luck tomorrow.

[Phoenix Dark]

I called him a corny ass loser and still think he is...but lord knows Marvin's Room describes me right now

[Vertigo]

I don't know how to talk to girls on online dating sites what am I supposed to say for a first message or what do you guys say? i'm not totally idiotic but i'm not sure what the protocol is. is it just a simple "hello!"

A simple "hello" or "Hi" will get you deleted. Even worst is "How are you doing?"

Think of how many messages these women are getting per day and plan your attack from there. You want to stand out but also not be a cock.

Too many guys talk about sex in the first message so they'll get deleted. Others will post a blatant copy and paste message they'll be deleted too.

As others have said read her profile thoroughly. I'm not sure which dating site you're using but a place like Ok Cupid lets you see stuff on a women's profiles like 'the two of us' which will let you find out a bit more about a person and if they have the same opinions as you.

Using that and also dropping in a few words about her fave band or films usually works a treat. I've found asking them to look at your profile always works. Also make sure you have about 5 pictures. When I was on the dating sites I usually had 5-6 good face pictures but make sure none of them are of you topless in the bathroom mirror with a phone in your hand. For any woman worth her salt that immediately = dickhead

1 more tip. If the dating site you're using has instant messenger never use it for introductions. Nothing will have you blanked faster than trying to chat to her out of the blue. Mail her first then if she responds suggest the instant messenger.

Good luck.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

Awesome thank you for the tips

[tiesto]

It also helps to comment on a facet of their picture (though do NOT directly compliment their looks... i think it's pretty much implied you find them cute if you are messaging them)... ex. the girl I'm going out with tomorrow had a pic of her with Neil DeGrasse Tyson, so I commented on that when I first emailed her. If you see a girl who is taking a pic while on vacation, comment on that. Another good strategy to use.

[Polari]

I don't know how to talk to girls on online dating sites what am I supposed to say for a first message or what do you guys say? i'm not totally idiotic but i'm not sure what the protocol is. is it just a simple "hello!"

Unless you're a stud a simple "hello" or "hey" will get you ignored.

You have to make it fun and interesting for them right out the gate.

I usually open with "Hey, which would you rather have? A house made out of cheese 2x4s or a house made out of fudge brownie bricks?" or something similar to that. More often than not I get a response because it's different from what other guys do.

If a stranger asked me that I'd assume they were either distinguished mentally-challenged or insane and try and put as much distance as possible between us without provoking them.

[BlackMage]

That OKC date went really well. Chick was nice, and stacked too man, i expected the worst when her profile pic had no body, but damn

she even brought me donuts too

she's already trying to fatten you up.

[BlackMage]

I never message girls first. I just wait for a girl to message me, and it's been working out really well so far. In fact, I've been told my profile is "replies very selectively" and that gets girls' panties moist for some reason.

translation: I'm pimptastic and I'm gonna gloat about it.

[Atramental]

 

Well shit. So much for uni.

Guess I have the rest of my life ahead of me. Plenty of time to crash and burn until I get something right.

[Shaka Khan]

I don't know how to talk to girls on online dating sites what am I supposed to say for a first message or what do you guys say? i'm not totally idiotic but i'm not sure what the protocol is. is it just a simple "hello!"

A simple "hello" or "Hi" will get you deleted. Even worst is "How are you doing?"

Think of how many messages these women are getting per day and plan your attack from there. You want to stand out but also not be a cock.

Too many guys talk about sex in the first message so they'll get deleted. Others will post a blatant copy and paste message they'll be deleted too.

As others have said read her profile thoroughly. I'm not sure which dating site you're using but a place like Ok Cupid lets you see stuff on a women's profiles like 'the two of us' which will let you find out a bit more about a person and if they have the same opinions as you.

Using that and also dropping in a few words about her fave band or films usually works a treat. I've found asking them to look at your profile always works. Also make sure you have about 5 pictures. When I was on the dating sites I usually had 5-6 good face pictures but make sure none of them are of you topless in the bathroom mirror with a phone in your hand. For any woman worth her salt that immediately = dickhead

1 more tip. If the dating site you're using has instant messenger never use it for introductions. Nothing will have you blanked faster than trying to chat to her out of the blue. Mail her first then if she responds suggest the instant messenger.

Good luck.

Quality advice. I approve.

[CajoleJuice]

i just hit on girls on twitter

[BlackMage]

So I went out on a second date with a girl tonight. She's very nice, very beautiful, but.. wow there was no chemistry between us. The date lasted a whopping hour and a half and we parted ways with just a hug. I couldn't put my finger on it. We had the same interests and everything but I don't know.. nothing.

[brawndolicious]

Why did you go on a second date, feel obligated?

[BlackMage]

Why did you go on a second date, feel obligated?

I was blinded by her beauty the first time around.

[Phoenix Dark]

i just hit on girls on twitter

You ever get to third base, ie DM sex?

[CajoleJuice]

i just hit on girls on twitter

You ever get to third base, ie DM sex?

yes

[tiesto]

So the date with the chubby psych PhD girl went pretty well (very intelligent, cute face, seems like a great girl, and naturally I can overlook the fact she is a big girl  ), the Jewish girl who I thought fell off the face of the earth contacted me out of the blue, going out with a Polish nurse on Wed, and some chubby redhead feminist chick looking for "casual sex" emails me telling me she thinks I'm cute and gives me her #.

Weird that this is all happening the week I find out about my job situation. I just hope when I go on interviews, the interviewers will be as willing to get back to me...

[MyNameIsMethodis]

were are all the 5-7's on OKCupid it's all fucking 10's i need girls my level jfc  :'(

theres a lack of bbw's also its horrendous

[Phoenix Dark]

uhhh what state? There are BBWs and average chicks everywhere on OkCupid...

[Atramental]

were are all the 5-7's on OKCupid it's all fucking 10's i need girls my level jfc  :'(

theres a lack of bbw's also its horrendous

Those "10's" are most likely 8's or at most 7's. :childplease

HIT 'EM UP.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

new hampshire try putting on 03301 and youll see

[BlackMage]

Why can't I get a girl.   I think I haven't done enough interesting things in my life.. I need to travel

[Rahxephon91]

were are all the 5-7's on OKCupid it's all fucking 10's i need girls my level jfc  :'(

theres a lack of bbw's also its horrendous

I hardly see anything close to a "10" on my okcupid and I only get messaged by "5s" and below. I'm not saying I'm Johnny Depp, but it would be nice to be messaged or get a response from what I would consider attractive women. So yeah it's hurting my confidence, but I'm not taking okcupid that seriously as an outlet.

[Cerveza mas fina]

Why can't I get a girl.   I think I haven't done enough interesting things in my life.. I need to travel

I don't think girl care in your age bracket what you did.

[BlackMage]

At my age, do you think I should start talking to girls that have kids?  :'( they are becoming more common

[brawndolicious]

Dayum blackmage is 31? Is dating women with a child a dealbreaker?

were are all the 5-7's on OKCupid it's all fucking 10's i need girls my level jfc  :'(

theres a lack of bbw's also its horrendous

I hardly see anything close to a "10" on my okcupid and I only get messaged by "5s" and below. I'm not saying I'm Johnny Depp, but it would be nice to be messaged or get a response from what I would consider attractive women. So yeah it's hurting my confidence, but I'm not taking okcupid that seriously as an outlet.

Really attractive women never send messages since the site is a black hole of simping for them. Too much effort to just keep up with the messages you receive. To get a message from an average girl even shows you have at least a pretty interesting profile.

As far as a lack of bbws, there were tons of fat girls. I never got the point of the hands-on-waist shot.

[Rahxephon91]

Yeah I guess, but it still sucks to ignore them. I hate being ignored and not getting 1 response, but here I am doing the same thing

[BlackMage]

I get messages all the time from attractive women. Of course, they disappear after a couple replies.

[BlackMage]

The girl I'm seeing just watched Nosferatu and loved it. She enjoys silent black and white movies, also she's a huge fan of HP Lovecraft and John Carpenter.

I think I'm in love

careful! her other hobbies include eating feces and punching you in the face during sex.

[BlackMage]

...touche...

[MyNameIsMethodis]

OKCupid sent me the "Congratulations you're hot we'll give you hotter matches" email and that's like the exact opposite of what i needed.

[BlackMage]

OKCupid sent me the "Congratulations you're hot we'll give you hotter matches" email and that's like the exact opposite of what i needed.

everyone gets that message.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

good ^_^

[BlackMage]

good ^_^

It's a good business tactic.. make you feel more confident so you don't get discouraged from using their site. I thought I was the shiznit until I found out the truth.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

I didn't actually care about it, I just wanted to know if it was true if I could turn it off

[G The Resurrected]

Got into an argument after making a dinner that I agreed was awful and uneatable. So I offered to get some take out in lieu of making more mistakes and more dish's in the sink. One thing leads to another and yelling starts up so I get my tablet and head for the living room. I know that if I just ignore the yelling that she'll eventually calm down. Well that didn't work this time. I now have a broken tablet and a huge knot in my forehead and back of my head from the cast iron skillet I made dinner with. I made sure not to make any sassy remarks or continue the feuding. That's why I went to the living room in the first place, so as to give her some space.

Fuck my head hurts like hell!

This wouldn't be the first time something like this has escalated into violence. How do any of you deal with those type of situations in your relationships? Do you ignore them and move on and forget about it?

[BlackMage]

Got into an argument after making a dinner that I agreed was awful and uneatable. So I offered to get some take out in lieu of making more mistakes and more dish's in the sink. One thing leads to another and yelling starts up so I get my tablet and head for the living room. I know that if I just ignore the yelling that she'll eventually calm down. Well that didn't work this time. I now have a broken tablet and a huge knot in my forehead and back of my head from the cast iron skillet I made dinner with. I made sure not to make any sassy remarks or continue the feuding. That's why I went to the living room in the first place, so as to give her some space.

Fuck my head hurts like hell!

This wouldn't be the first time something like this has escalated into violence. How do any of you deal with those type of situations in your relationships? Do you ignore them and move on and forget about it?

I find much joy in envisioning you getting smacked with a skillet.

[Positive Touch]

violence wtf? i dont play that shit. i mean, you been together for too long to just walk out, but you need to put down some severe consequences for that AT LEAST. no way in hell that should ever be tolerable even once.

[Barry Egan]

wow, thats a seriously broken relationship.

Id love to know what it was you cooked.

[Phoenix Dark]

Must have been vegetables
 :orly

[Shaka Khan]

Must have been vegetables
 :orly

I'm gagging

[chronovore]

Got into an argument after making a dinner that I agreed was awful and uneatable. So I offered to get some take out in lieu of making more mistakes and more dish's in the sink. One thing leads to another and yelling starts up so I get my tablet and head for the living room. I know that if I just ignore the yelling that she'll eventually calm down. Well that didn't work this time. I now have a broken tablet and a huge knot in my forehead and back of my head from the cast iron skillet I made dinner with. I made sure not to make any sassy remarks or continue the feuding. That's why I went to the living room in the first place, so as to give her some space.

Fuck my head hurts like hell!

This wouldn't be the first time something like this has escalated into violence. How do any of you deal with those type of situations in your relationships? Do you ignore them and move on and forget about it?

violence wtf? i dont play that shit. i mean, you been together for too long to just walk out, but you need to put down some severe consequences for that AT LEAST. no way in hell that should ever be tolerable even once.

Agreed. Violence is unacceptable, period. You can leave, she can leave, and/or you can tell her you'll call the cops and have her arrested for assault next time. I am not even marginally joking.

Also, you should recommend that she seek counseling if violence is a common occurrence in your household.