Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[Rufus]

Getting hit over the head with a blunt object is no joke. It's not cartoon violence.

[Cormacaroni]

Hit hard enough on the head with a skillet to break a tablet? That's REAL TALK, and I'm Irish

You could have died and she could be in jail - you need to make sure that it doesn't happen again 'cause being lonely beats being dead

[Shadow Mod]

Got into an argument after making a dinner that I agreed was awful and uneatable. So I offered to get some take out in lieu of making more mistakes and more dish's in the sink. One thing leads to another and yelling starts up so I get my tablet and head for the living room. I know that if I just ignore the yelling that she'll eventually calm down. Well that didn't work this time. I now have a broken tablet and a huge knot in my forehead and back of my head from the cast iron skillet I made dinner with. I made sure not to make any sassy remarks or continue the feuding. That's why I went to the living room in the first place, so as to give her some space.

Fuck my head hurts like hell!

This wouldn't be the first time something like this has escalated into violence. How do any of you deal with those type of situations in your relationships? Do you ignore them and move on and forget about it?

Whoa what? Get her some anger management.

[G The Resurrected]

I made some overly salted blackened chicken alfredo one of her favorites. The meat was too salty, probably due to the solution they use to plump the chicken's up with and the seasoning mix I used.

This is the first time such a thing has happened. I've had to buy 2 new monitors and I have to back up my 360 saves regularly cause she'll delete them from my HDD. Anger issues run deep! I know better than to hit her, but she doesn't know better than to hit me. Just cause I'm huge doesn't mean I can take beatings like that on a daily basis. We've had the cops come out a few times but I've never called them.

On one such occasion they saw she was bruised but that was to keep her from throwing our coffee table at me. So they threatened us both with going to jail. I was just trying to restrain her, and in most occasions I have to leave my own home for a while. God forbid I take the car during this time though, she's tracked me down and continued fighting in public too!

I've been trying to get her to see a doctor for a long time so she can get on some anti-depressants and get the help she needs. I've recorded many of these instances to show her after the fact what she is like when she is mad. She just says that's normal, now I know how it is to be angry. I used to hurt my mom and act out a lot cause of how I was feeling. But I got the help I needed and it took me years to fix myself up to where I wasn't so damn angry.

I just wondered if it was normal for such things to happen and be so nonchalantly shrugged off.

I know a lot of how she's feeling is cause she is frustrated about her life situation, but you can't take that out on others around you. You have to want to fix the issues. I have no problems helping her out, but I can't if she doesn't want me to. It seems like I'm the easy target cause I'm always around her. Even when I take myself out of the equation the minute I'm back into it she'll start up.

Just last week she took a piece of broken pyrex bakeware that I broke due to thermal shock to my knee. And once it broke in her hand she took my meat tenderizer to my knee. She was fine 5 minutes later like it didn't even happen.

[Shadow Mod]

She sounds completely psychotic what are you doing staying with her man? It's only going to escalate.

[Reb]

I dunno guys, sounds like he deserves it.

[G The Resurrected]

I must state this is not normal behavior, but has progressed over the past few weeks.

We've been dealing with a lot of stressful things in our lives. Between her dad (gulfwar vet with PTSD) going crazy and being put into the hospital. And them putting him into our care since they don't have room for inpatient treatment. Then my work situation since I lost my job back in January, and her schooling which is not going anywhere due to her classes not being available. And top that off with her resentment towards me cause I won't have a wedding with her till we get our lives in order.  And last but not least our continued issues with infertility which is due to her body not producing the natural enzymes that the sperm need to survive. We don't have the money to afford IVF.

I have loved this girl for a long time and was committed from the get go. Through a 5 year long distance relationship, and now 6 years living together.

[Shadow Mod]

I must state this is not normal behavior, but has progressed over the past few weeks.

We've been dealing with a lot of stressful things in our lives. Between her dad (gulfwar vet with PTSD) going crazy and being put into the hospital. And them putting him into our care since they don't have room for inpatient treatment. Then my work situation since I lost my job back in January, and her schooling which is not going anywhere due to her classes not being available. And top that off with her resentment towards me cause I won't have a wedding with her till we get our lives in order.  And last but not least our continued issues with infertility which is due to her body not producing the natural enzymes that the sperm need to survive. We don't have the money to afford IVF.

I have loved this girl for a long time and was committed from the get go. Through a 5 year long distance relationship, and now 6 years living together.

Okay given the time and circumstances I understand a bit better but violence is something that strikes me as a "get the hell out now" situation. All of the violent relationships I've come across it never stops unless someone dies or the couple breaks up. =/.

[Rufus]

Wow. I'm just gonna echo what Cormacaroni said:

You could have died and she could be in jail - you need to make sure that it doesn't happen again 'cause being lonely beats being dead

[chronovore]

Yeah, I'm with Cormacaroni and the rest of the common-sense speakers here: you can't help her if she doesn't want help, there is NOTHING you have done which can legitimately lead to violence from her, despite your own problematic past, you don't owe it to anyone to suffer through the same yourself. This isn't penance.

If she isn't willing to immediately commit to nonviolence and seeking help for this, you need to GTFO and get on with life.

I'll go a step further and say you can't get married with her unless this is solved and, for god's sake, don't bring a child into this picture.

[Mupepe]

what the fuck, G?  I don't give a shit.  You should have been gone when it turned to violence.  I would have been gone when she turned passive agressive psycho like you says she did a few weeks ago.  Quit enabling this shit by still being there. 

[Phoenix Dark]

You should leave and tell her she needs to seek help or else you're done with her. There's no excuse for her hitting you, especially not multiple times over nothing. She has tried to stab you and has hit you with items that could kill you...dude, remove yourself before it's too late.

If she cannot recognize this is a problem it's time to move on.

[hampster]

Wow G, that’s terrible. I hope things turn out okay (either through therapy or someone leaving).

My step mom did similar things to my dad. She would hit him and throw shit at him while arguing. Then she would dare him to hit her so she could call the cops. That shit went on for years. They should have split long ago but never did

I've barely spoken to them in 10 years. Hopefully it’s better now. Just not dealing with kids probably helps. I never had anger issues until my kid came along. I never hit anyone or anything, but I do have two broken MP3 players to my name, one broken electric spongebob toothbrush and countless bottles of water that were thrown (not at people). Shit is stressful (Jeff Green talked about this a bit on the recent Tested Dadcast and he was spot on).

If things are bad now I'd hate to see what would happen when you add sleep deprivation into the mix :'(

[G The Resurrected]

I ended up sleeping in the car last night. Can't really sleep when it's cold. I couldn't sleep much since I was all screwed up with a bad headache. So I decided to feed our cats since they were hungry and I forgot to feed them last night. I mistakengly awoke the sleeping dragon. She threw my ass out of the house. I am gonna wait a while, but I'm gonna get some clothing and go somewhere away from this shit.

[Rufus]

Welp, good luck. Might want to get that headache checked out as well.

[Phoenix Dark]

Do you feel dizzy or disorientated?

[ToxicAdam]

When things calm down a bit, I would approach her and tell her that you want to make things work out, but if it ever comes to violence like that again you will be calling the police.

Then make sure you call the police when it happens again. Not just for yourself, but for the next guy that might get involved with her.


Most guys let too many women get away with this shit, because we are too proud to get other people involved. The women never learn their lesson and keep using violence when they get frustrated with life.

[G The Resurrected]

Well this day is just fucked. I went to get my head checked out only to come find the police waiting for me. She said that I couldn't take the car and so what I did was theft. Wtf seriously so I'm waiting for her to come pick up the car with the police waiting by my side. I've explained as much as I can in hopes they don't try and let her charge me.

[Barry Egan]

it's over dude.  the relationship is dead.

[Phoenix Dark]

There's no reconciling now, dude. You have to move on, you deserve way better.

[BlackMage]

This isn't another lie to get attention is it?

[Huff]

G, you gotta bail unless she checks herself into some kind of rehab.

[chronovore]

G, it seems like you want to help her, but she's the only one who can initiate change in herself. You need to protect yourself. Bail and check in after a year or two have passed. See if she's straightened out.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

messaging this girl on OKC and she gets back to me like right away but she adds nothing to the conversation and i have to do all the work

[MyNameIsMethodis]

 :leo red dot?

[MyNameIsMethodis]

 

dis girl im talking to is p cute and nice but she converts like a dead snail. wondering when I should just ask her out for a date but she gives such nonansewrs i bet she would non answer that 

[MyNameIsMethodis]

ty Eschaton friend

[BlackMage]

Met a girl last night for a drink! She was very cool and talkative and cute.   We aren't going out on a 2nd date until Tuesday. We will see how this one plays out. 

[Bebpo]

Birthday Power!

Congrats man

[MyNameIsMethodis]

i blew it like a puss  i was too scared to ask her 


bring on the next chubby white girl 

[G The Resurrected]

G, it seems like you want to help her, but she's the only one who can initiate change in herself. You need to protect yourself. Bail and check in after a year or two have passed. See if she's straightened out.

So a small update of what was going on earlier this week. After waiting for more than two hours with the cops, she finally came to pick up the car. At which time she became belligerent and highly hostile towards me for no reason. They determined that she was a threat to herself and those around her. So they took her in for a 51-50 which got us to get to a doctor for evaluation. Upon getting there and waiting for god know's how long she was seen and they determined she would be more comfortable at home. They sedated her and gave her a few mild psychotropic drugs.

Later on in the week I got her to see a psychiatrist and start up some counseling/anger management sessions. So far things have been much more calmer, but she is very emotional still. Xanax seems to be helping the most by leveling out the rage and emotions. I've been trying my best to keep her focused on doing things that are productive so she gets wore out mentally and doesn't have time to dwell on stuff for too long. It's been working, but its been really hard dealing with a broken human being.

We went on a little day trip up to the mountains and took a awesome little drive through the redwoods and into SF city for a while. We're planning on going back to SF for the Bioshock launch, which she is obsessing over. Heck she's got me cosplaying as Booker, not something I wanted to do but something she wanted me to do. I guess its all about small compromises and communication. I know our relationship isn't perfect, but at least we're both working on it together now. It's a small step in the right direction I hope.

[Van Cruncheon]

You ruined her favorite meal and blamed the CAFO chicken first instead of your seasoning, you stupid asshole. Then you went on the Internet and told the world your wife was beating you. If I were her I'd lay low for a while but you'd get it eventually.

i lol'd

[Van Cruncheon]

g, in 2 days she's turned around? my bullshit meter is ringin' all four alarms, here

[G The Resurrected]

Not major progress I should note, but at least its better than having her be violent all the damn time. It's not been the most perfect of days, but I'll take it over what it could be. Xanax is one hell of a drug man! No wonder why so many people are on it.

[Shadow Mod]

Not major progress I should note, but at least its better than having her be violent all the damn time. It's not been the most perfect of days, but I'll take it over what it could be. Xanax is one hell of a drug man! No wonder why so many people are on it.

So she's only decent while she's on a cocktail of drugs? =/

[Phoenix Dark]

Dude. Bail out. When the drugs wear off she'll be back to being disrespectful towards you

[G The Resurrected]

Until she learn's how to properly deal with things on her own it might be the only way to keep her sanity in check. I used to be on a combination of medications and with the proper therapy I eventually straightened out. I've been off of med's for more than 7 years now and I've been through some serious emotional event's without falling apart. So I know its possible for her to make the same type of turn around and she seems to be highly receptive to making changes. As long as there is a support system in place to get her the help she needs, I'm optimistic that things will get better and she'll get to that same point that I did.

I hear you guys and I know that it would be easier for me to leave in this situation than it is to stay. I do love her and it pains me to see her struggle through whatever it is she's going through. I know it's not my responsibility to make her better. But I do feel I can help her get to that place and maybe then she might realize that I'm not her enemy but someone who loves her through thick and thin. I'm not in denial about the situation, I know damn well what's happened and have payed the price for her actions. No one should have to put themselves through something like that.

But I don't see her getting any better if I left the situation, she's very reliant upon me. I could leave at any point if things get back to what they were like earlier in the week. And I have no intentions of staying around if she goes back to acting out like that. The doctor said that what she was doing was acting out cause she didn't know how to ask for help. Help she didn't know she needed till she got to that point. They've  warned me that staying with her is one of the only things keeping her together and if I wasn't around things would be a lot worse. So it's not been without some level of thought that I'm staying of my own free will.

[Van Cruncheon]

wait until the cc debt comes home to roost

dude, this reads like a textbook codependency case

which, with your penchant for emotional dishonesty, reads like a high school textbook case

[Van Cruncheon]

paging dr. miletski all up in this

[Van Cruncheon]

my advice is to check YOURSELF back into therapy while you still have a line of credit, is wot i'm sayin

[Phoenix Dark]

In the wise words of one Rick Ross: bust a nut and vanish.

[Shaka Khan]

Holy shit I'm mad jelly. The sexy is probably through the roof!

[chronovore]

Met a girl last night for a drink! She was very cool and talkative and cute.   We aren't going out on a 2nd date until Tuesday. We will see how this one plays out. 

Wait, I thought you were seeing that Nisha lady. Who is hawt.

Until she learn's how to properly deal with things on her own it might be the only way to keep her sanity in check. I used to be on a combination of medications and with the proper therapy I eventually straightened out. I've been off of med's for more than 7 years now and I've been through some serious emotional event's without falling apart. So I know its possible for her to make the same type of turn around and she seems to be highly receptive to making changes. As long as there is a support system in place to get her the help she needs, I'm optimistic that things will get better and she'll get to that same point that I did.

I hear you guys and I know that it would be easier for me to leave in this situation than it is to stay. I do love her and it pains me to see her struggle through whatever it is she's going through. I know it's not my responsibility to make her better. But I do feel I can help her get to that place and maybe then she might realize that I'm not her enemy but someone who loves her through thick and thin. I'm not in denial about the situation, I know damn well what's happened and have payed the price for her actions. No one should have to put themselves through something like that.

But I don't see her getting any better if I left the situation, she's very reliant upon me. I could leave at any point if things get back to what they were like earlier in the week. And I have no intentions of staying around if she goes back to acting out like that. The doctor said that what she was doing was acting out cause she didn't know how to ask for help. Help she didn't know she needed till she got to that point. They've  warned me that staying with her is one of the only things keeping her together and if I wasn't around things would be a lot worse. So it's not been without some level of thought that I'm staying of my own free will.

You are in a codependent relationship. She's historically violent and abusive. She doesn't need you, you are using her to fill some role in your mental landscape. She needs to get straight, and you can't help her with that; she has to do it on her own. When we eventually hang out, I'd prefer it's not the frying pan brain-damaged version of G. 

[chronovore]

Ah, thanks; got my mages confused...

[Robo]

Girls should come with spreadsheets.  I don't understand this shit and I want to see some figures.

[Robo]

Getting dumped is fun.  Now I don't have to shower for the next couple weeks!

[demi]

I missed possible G and Roxy antics?

[Robo]

I don't know.  Too effete, maybe?  Self-reflection in this sort of circumstance is invariably a miserable activity, so I'm not considering dwelling on it very much beyond these few dorky posts.

[Robo]

Like this:

[TEEEPO]

at least you're not _________.

[BlackMage]

I'm starting to get serious with this girl.  she's pretty amazing..

[Eric P]

relationship advice from a liquor company

[Rufus]

He should get a haircut, too. Seriously, what is that? Looks like a lid.

[Robo]

at least you're not _________.

I like this game.  On one hand, it puts things in a positive perspective, on the other, it made me realize I'm a terrible person and definitely a racist.

[Shaka Khan]

I'm starting to get serious with this girl.  she's pretty amazing..

I'm in a same situation. I don't guys, I just don't know.

[Shaka Khan]

Oh I had no idea Robo was moping. Aca-awkward.

[Robo]

Naw, I'm over it.  I found solace in your inevitable misery.  Good luck!

[Shaka Khan]

I love you Robo and I'm truly sorry.

If it makes you feel any better I give my thing one more month. I'm mostly good at making first impressions and my big cock can only take me so far.

[Robo]

But your big cock is also useful for making a certain person forgive you.  hint hint hint hint

[Huff]

Local gurl made me put her number in my phone. Told me to get ready for summer time when the bikinis get brought out. Fuck yeah 

Now I'm stalking her facebook looking for pics. Feel kinda lame