Author Topic: Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"  (Read 1247278 times)

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Flannel Boy

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What's the point of claiming that you're "athletic and toned" when your profile includes photos of yourself displaying a large beer belly?


Phoenix Dark

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That's what happens to words when we redefine "marriage"
010

Groogrux

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I love the girls who put that they want a guy who's athletic and toned, yet they look god-awful themselves. 
WTF

Verdigris Murder

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I think of men as proud hungry tigers prowling the jungles of love, women are the wily hunters out to ensnare the tigers. But how? They hide up in a figurative tree, using their vaginas as bait like one would use a goat for the same literal purpose of catching a tiger.
:{]

Groogrux

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This girl I'm seeing wants to go fishing for the second date. 

Yes, please.
WTF

Barry Egan

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I like that idea.  Nothing kicks off a relationship quite like a huge deception. 

Flannel Boy

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You're a frugal saver and/or have an expensive coke habit.

Phoenix Dark

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I wouldn't actually go on dates under false pretenses. I'm strictly talking about an experiment to see if my reply rate increased.

I mean, the deception would fall apart pretty quickly anyway. There is nothing about my apartment or car that remotely suggests a six figure salary.

You could just tell women you have the dick of a black man and the wallet of an old Jewish man.
010

Flannel Boy

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My username is in honor of the wrong Beatles' song; I should have went with "No Reply."  :'(


Timber

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Broke up with a girl who has a long history of sexual abuse, rape, physically abusive ex-boyfriends, no fewer than three pregnancies and miscarriages and a late fiancee who died in Afghanistan. She suffered eight heart attacks (during some of which she was pronounced clinically dead), concussions, broke just about everything there is to break in a body, and was pushed down the stairs causing her to suffer acute memory loss which she had to regain gradually. She divided her time between The Netherlands and England. While she still lived with her parents in NL, she was joint owner of a house in England together with a friend/ex-lover a decade older than her. Also living in said house were her four siblings - whom she'd gained legal custody over and for whose education she paid in full - and two young children, not biologically hers but considered to be her children regardless, who came into their care through all sorts of misery and calamity (parents committing suicide, etc...).

She studied at two different colleges and worked two different jobs, one full-time, 40 hrs/week where she was in a managerial position and in charge of hundreds of employees. She had a personal assistant. She was also a noted dancer and choreographer, having worked on the most recent tours of One Direction and Girls Aloud (all of whom she knew personally and was such great friends with. You should have heard her on the phone with them.) and having been a back-up dancer on several sold-out arena shows.

Last year she had an affair with John Terry.


Don't date pathological liars, guys!
w/e

Rufus

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So she doesn't actually exist. :ohhh

Mupepe

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Jeez.  How long did you date her?

Olivia Wilde Homo

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My sister is a pathological liar.  She has invented her ethnic background before (we're Irish, she claims to be Finnish) and claimed to be very good friends with the lead singer of HIM and Garbage.  I just ignore what she says since it's all bullshit but you can't call her on it since she will start freaking out.
🍆🍆

Flannel Boy

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 :yeshrug Imma let you Finnish.

Timber

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None of the people in my previous post are actually real, save for her. Well, I guess John Terry exists.

We dated for about five months. During this time she once told me there was a chance she might be pregnant, only to go on smoking and drinking that same day. She told me it would take at least two months for the doctors to know for certain. When I insisted on accompanying her to the doctor she freaked out. When she had her period, she claimed she had miscarried.

She also said she'd been involved in a bad drug scene and had been addicted to cocaine. Lots of dealing and prostitution and knives and guns and what have you. She claimed to be suicidal and threatened suicide during arguments, once going as far as to fake taking an overdose of painkillers (her newfound addiction) during a Skype call.

She told me I reminded her of her abusive ex and that I mistreated and manipulated her. She made up a past, a second life, friends, siblings, illnesses, etc. She created several Twitter accounts where she would pretend to be her friends, sisters and ex-boyfriends.

My sister is a pathological liar.  She has invented her ethnic background before (we're Irish, she claims to be Finnish) and claimed to be very good friends with the lead singer of HIM and Garbage.  I just ignore what she says since it's all bullshit but you can't call her on it since she will start freaking out.

Yeah, this sounds very familiar. Inventing a background/past, pretending to know famous people (pop singers, footballers, the cast of Geordie Shore WTF) and absolutely freaking the fuck out whenever confronted are all things she did. I called her one last time yesterday urging her to seek professional help and she called me every name in the book, screamed at me and told me never to harrass her and her family again.

Well, I guess that's that.
w/e

Rufus

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Holy shit.

Mupepe

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wow.  So how long did you continue to date her after the "pregnancy"??

Timber

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wow.  So how long did you continue to date her after the "pregnancy"??

About a month? Look, I'm not a sensible man. After this I consulted some people on how to handle the situation, because I did want to help her. But the crazy was too much for me. Also,

I bet she was awesome in the sack.

Yes. I mean... Yes.
w/e

MyNameIsMethodis

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my lady friend and i had sex its ok sex is still overrated by virgins it only get thumbs up form me
USA

Barry Egan

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Five bags of popcorn, two sodas.

BobFromPikeCreek

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Five bags of popcorn, two sodas.
It really thrilled and chilled me.
zzzzz

brawndolicious

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http://www.okcupid.com/profile/baylee81  be nice pls.  :-[

You took down your account? I think I saw it a few days ago and wanted to see if I could give any advice.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/hydnellum_fella

I tried to trim down my account to make it a little bit more digestible/normal. It feels a little boring.

Phoenix Dark

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your pictures :dead

gonna need to re-do them breh, you looking like a disabled serial rapist
010

Huff

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Quote
I've posted on forums for about a decade

I can't think of a statement any more appealing to a person than this
dur

Groogrux

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Had a date with the girl I've been talking to from OKC last night.  It went really well.  We should be getting together again sometime soon. 
WTF

Mupepe

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your pictures :dead

gonna need to re-do them breh, you looking like a disabled serial rapist
:rofl :rofl

brawndolicious

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your pictures :dead

gonna need to re-do them breh, you looking like a disabled serial rapist

There's like one intentionally bad one but I might take it down.

Positive Touch

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i'm sorry but...



pcp

Barry Egan

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those cheeks of yours make me want to do something naughty am nintenho  :-*

spoiler (click to show/hide)
[close]

brawndolicious

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Yeah I've been told by dentists/orthodontists that I have an unusually small mouth. It's something to keep in mind when criticizing blowjobs.

i don't know why i post or if anyone can actually give me any advice here but:
last year i was sleeping with my flatmate, kept seeing her after she moved out but she left town at the end of the year. she's coming back this weekend to do some modelling and wants to stay with me. i haven't told her that i've committed to a course of sexual abstinence. i'd be happy for her to stay and actually really miss having someone to cuddle but i'm worried that it might get awkward and then she'd have nowhere to go.. probably not even enough context here for anyone to say anything but... thoughts?
thx

Barry Egan

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why the abstinence?

sex was confusing a lot of my relationships with females at the start of this year and i reasoned that if i was officially not having sex then this wouldn't be such an issue. i also like the fact that it's so controversial for a male to avoid sex i suppose. ultimately i do want for companionship and i thought that taking sex out of the equation (for myself) might make it easier to find someone i actually enjoy the company of etc. i'm not hugely committed to it i guess but i don't feel like breaking it soon. (i have had sex once since deciding this. it was a mistake). another reason is that it irks me that so much weight is put on sex and having sex in our society when the people pursuing it have no plan to conceive children. people lie to themselves about why they want to have sex (fyi it's because their body wants to make babies) and i am a strong advocate for mass sterilisation/human extinction so having sex is pretty hypocritical.
thx

Groogrux

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sex was confusing a lot of my relationships with females at the start of this year and i reasoned that if i was officially not having sex then this wouldn't be such an issue. i also like the fact that it's so controversial for a male to avoid sex i suppose. ultimately i do want for companionship and i thought that taking sex out of the equation (for myself) might make it easier to find someone i actually enjoy the company of etc. i'm not hugely committed to it i guess but i don't feel like breaking it soon. (i have had sex once since deciding this. it was a mistake). another reason is that it irks me that so much weight is put on sex and having sex in our society when the people pursuing it have no plan to conceive children. people lie to themselves about why they want to have sex (fyi it's because their body wants to make babies) and i am a strong advocate for mass sterilisation/human extinction so having sex is pretty hypocritical.

Animals have sex because they want to have babies.  Humans have sex because it feels good and/or they want to have babies, but mostly because it feels good.
WTF

Barry Egan

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can't you just tell her about the abstinence before she shows up?  no reason for things to get weird if you let her know what she's getting in to beforehand.  or I suppose you think it's presumptuous to bring up?  gonna hafta find a way to just slip it casually in to conversation bro. 
« Last Edit: May 12, 2013, 09:40:48 PM by Barry Egan »

Animals have sex because they want to have babies.  Humans have sex because it feels good and/or they want to have babies, but mostly because it feels good.
well i did say that their bodies want to make babies, not necessarily the conciousness attached to them. we have been given a bunch of reasons to tell ourselves we want to have sex (i agree the main one is "it feels good" but also social status and others) but it is not called the biological imperative for nothing.
thx

can't you just tell her about the abstinence before she shows up?  no reason for things to get weird if you let her know what she's getting in to beforehand.  or I suppose you think it's presumptuous to bring up?  gonna hafta find a way to just slip it casually in to conversation bro.
this is a good point and i still haven't actually replied to her email. i suppose i will say that she's welcome to stay but give her my reasons for wondering if its the best idea and we'll take it from there.
thx

Groogrux

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Animals have sex because they want to have babies.  Humans have sex because it feels good and/or they want to have babies, but mostly because it feels good.
well i did say that their bodies want to make babies, not necessarily the conciousness attached to them. we have been given a bunch of reasons to tell ourselves we want to have sex (i agree the main one is "it feels good" but also social status and others) but it is not called the biological imperative for nothing.

Please understand... :lol

I'm not against you striving for abstinence.  I think it's admirable, and that it can get in the way of having a healthy relationship with someone else.  All I'm pointing out is that every time I had sex with someone, it wasn't to make a baby.  A baby did happen once, and I'm grateful for it.  But I was in it for the feel goods. 

You're right though; there are a lot of guys (and girls I assume) that are not only doing it for the feels, but for the purpose of "adding notches to the bedpost."  But seeing as how you're looking for abstinence, I'm thinking you're probably not one of them.  However, there are people out there that are just simply in it because they love the way it feels and they like that feeling of closeness to the other person that comes along with it.
WTF

Flannel Boy

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With other women online, I'm having 1/10th of the chemistry I had with Spark Girl, and I just read one of her responses to an OKCupid question in which she states that she likes to have rough animal sex (she's more than fit enough for it).

*looks at her apartment, 300m from from my window*
*slams head on desk*

Positive Touch

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(fyi it's because their body wants to make babies)

:ohhh :whoo :obama
pcp

Flannel Boy

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(fyi it's because their body wants to make babies)

:ohhh :whoo :obama

Ultimate cause: reproduction.
Proximate cause: it feels good.

Also cat's post reminded of this internet meme.



Flannel Boy

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Who was Spark Girl again?

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spark Girl (not pictured) is a Masters student who asked me out on okcupid only to then murder me in the analog realm after our first and only date by telling me she "just didn't feel that spark."
[close]
« Last Edit: May 13, 2013, 02:11:53 AM by Flannel Boy »

Flannel Boy

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Does she at least look a little bit like the girl in that photo you just posted?
Girl?
http://www.thebore.com/forum/index.php?topic=8429.msg1684948#msg1684948

brawndolicious

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Okay I applied y'alls bitches changes and shit. Like four of you apparently have an okc account and visited my profile. Whoever is from the bronx has a really interesting profile  actually. but I have no idea who you are.

Barry Egan

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thanks bro  :)

MyNameIsMethodis

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i dont rly like sex i dont blame catman its just...eh.
USA

Mupepe

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i dont rly like sex i dont blame catman its just...eh.
Maybe you just haven't found your kink or the people you have been with have sucked?  I can't imagine just thinking sex is eh.

MyNameIsMethodis

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jmaybe fat girls just aint for me
USA

Olivia Wilde Homo

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i dont rly like sex i dont blame catman its just...eh.
Maybe you just haven't found your kink or the people you have been with have sucked?  I can't imagine just thinking sex is eh.

Maybe this is too much information but I rarely come during sex.  I usually just fake it because the girl freaks out about it otherwise.  I blame it on years of jackhammering my cock.  Of course I always wear condoms which suck.  The second I'm married, they're going off and never going back on.

jmaybe fat girls just aint for me

Probably not.  Fat chicks are pretty gross.  Not to be confused with fat tittied chicks, which I love dearly.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2013, 02:00:04 PM by The Experiment »
🍆🍆

Mupepe

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i dont rly like sex i dont blame catman its just...eh.
Maybe you just haven't found your kink or the people you have been with have sucked?  I can't imagine just thinking sex is eh.

Maybe this is too much information but I rarely come during sex.  I usually just fake it because the girl freaks out about it otherwise.  I blame it on years of jackhammering my cock.  Of course I always wear condoms which suck.  The second I'm married, they're going off and never going back on.

jmaybe fat girls just aint for me

Probably not.  Fat chicks are pretty gross.  Not to be confused with fat tittied chicks, which I love dearly.
I think it's the condoms.  The few times I've used them they've definitely made it difficult to finish.  It's why I've rarely used them unless the chick absolutely insists.  I've always been hornier than intelligent.  That's why I have a daughter. 

And yeah, fat chicks are gross and usually don't know how and physically can't fuck good.  I've banged quite a few fatties and it was never a good idea.

Mupepe

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I just go for the largest target

Mupepe

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because they're hungry?

brawndolicious

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I'll admit I didn't come once and it was with an extremely hot girl but it was with a condom and I was very drunk and she refused to do oral for some reason. Didn't want me to do it on her either. Normally I love condoms since I'm easily excitable, I joke that you should wear them for the same reason motorcyclists wear helmet and leathers; so you last longer.

Usually chubby girls aren't so lazy except during intercourse since they can't move around as much. Still never had a problem with them.

CajoleJuice

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condomless sex  :rejoice
AMC

Phoenix Dark

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I'm not about that life.
010

CajoleJuice

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It's in my Hispanic blood. Right, Mupepe?
AMC

FatalT

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It's in my Hispanic blood. Right, Mupepe?

Mupepe would tell you rimjobs are in your Hispanic blood.

CajoleJuice

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It's in my Hispanic blood. Right, Mupepe?

Mupepe would tell you rimjobs are in your Hispanic blood.

I would agree.
AMC

brawndolicious

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Getting or giving rimjobs? If a girl did it to me, I'd imagine it would feel like licking a cat. :aah

Phoenix Dark

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no condoms, rimjobs, am nintenho...this is the worst page of this thread
010