Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again"

[chronovore]

Well yes, it all sounds simple. It's the practice that's difficult.

That is supremely true.

[Human Snorenado]

Brehs, this actually worked:

So I just met you
and this is crazy
but wanna hang out
sometime, maybe?

[Barry Egan]

was the coli smiley part of the message? this is important.

[Shadow Mod]

haha, my family's nuts about horses.

i guess what i will offer as advice is that the woman will never love you as much as she loves her horse.  if you can't deal with that, don't even get into it.

Unless your cock is bigger than the horse's.

[Human Snorenado]

was the coli smiley part of the message? this is important.

No

Also, I kind of knew this girl (friend of a friend, met her a few times, fb friends, blah blah blah) and knew she loved cheesy humor, so the likelihood of that stupidity resulting in a "yes" to the date request was pretty high.

[tiesto]

was the coli smiley part of the message? this is important.

My GF saw me browsing the Bore and thought the coli emoticons were hysterical... guess that means she's a keeper 

[Flannel Boy]

Fuck--a cute redhead nurse just sent me a cold message.

[Barry Egan]

oh no  :'(

[Flannel Boy]

I've had three today. But what good are cold messages when they lead to cold shoulders?

[recursivelyenumerable]

meeting women has gotten pretty easy for me lately, bizarrely. unfortunately the better I get at the trivial superficial parts of the relationship development process, the more obvious my deeper emotional cowardice/laziness and lack of basic life skills becomes.  go to coffeeshop/bar -> talk to nice girl -> have nice long conversation -> she gives me her number -> I never call her -> repeat twice a week or so.

[recursivelyenumerable]

was the coli smiley part of the message? this is important.

No

Also, I kind of knew this girl (friend of a friend, met her a few times, fb friends, blah blah blah) and knew she loved cheesy humor, so the likelihood of that stupidity resulting in a "yes" to the date request was pretty high.

I guess it's not so much that it's cheesy as that I'm not even sure where the "humor" part comes in at all.

[Rufus]

meeting women has gotten pretty easy for me lately, bizarrely. unfortunately the better I get at the trivial superficial parts of the relationship development process, the more obvious my deeper emotional cowardice/laziness and lack of basic life skills becomes.

Ha. Well put. I'm right there with you. Coulda, woulda, shoulda. I just put the whole relationship thing on indefinite hiatus. 

[CajoleJuice]

meeting women has gotten pretty easy for me lately, bizarrely. unfortunately the better I get at the trivial superficial parts of the relationship development process, the more obvious my deeper emotional cowardice/laziness and lack of basic life skills becomes.

wow this is spot-on

[Steve Contra]

I have a date with a blonde horse-rider (this didn't go well with the last two)*

Horse-girls are weird. I dated a girl in high school who rode horses. Not sure what it is.

I married a horse girl

[Human Snorenado]

I'd rather marry a horse man.

That shit is not legal in Kansas, Dorothy

[Flannel Boy]

Horse Girl canceled. No reason given.

Internet dating is worse than Jay Cutler.

[Atramental]

It's probably best that you don't know the reason.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Flannel Boy]

Horseback Riding Girl hasn't contacted me again--shocking. Everything else is leading nowhere fast. 

[Human Snorenado]

FUCK FUCK FUCK

This will be the only time I post about this here as I generally consider myself to be more mature and well-adjusted to the point where I don't need to talk to people about shit like this, but here goes

Let's say there's a woman I've carried a flame for for several years now, and expressed that to her earlier this year and was gently put into the friend zone.  I more or less moved on with my life, and she did too, dating here or there and eventually getting into a serious relationship over the summer.  The last time I saw her two months ago, she was really happy in her relationship, and I was, to my astonishment, not bitter at the situation, but genuinely happy for her.  She's been a really dear friend for forever (I don't make friends easily... I probably count the people I consider genuine friends on one hand, and she's one of them) so I was happy for her.

I visited Atlanta again this weekend and looked her up, to find out that a) she'd been dumped by her boyfriend a couple weeks ago b) was a wreck c) needed help over the weekend with some work shit.  Well fuck, I helped her out of her work jam... because I'm such a good friend/sucker.  We also went out to a bunch of different shit, drinking, hanging out, having a good time generally speaking.  End of the weekend comes around and we're saying goodbye and it gets awkward.  Why?  "Because I do have feelings for you, but everything is fucked up right now, it's my super busy time of the year with work, and you live out of state... I just don't think we could make this work."  OUT OF THE BLUE.

WHAT THE FUCK.  WHY SAY THAT.  FUCK THIS GAY EARTH.

Ok, we can now go back to giving Malek advice about dating.  I'll be over here quietly drinking myself to death.

[Phoenix Dark]

You've rustled two of my largest jimmies: simping and "taking the shot" while you can. I'm going to give you a pass and say that wasn't neccisarrily simping per se...you were helping out a friend. Did she reward you by putting you on a hook, only to casually throw you off ("oh I said that? sorry I don't remember lol, I was so busy") later? Or is it real? Who knows. But if you believe this is your shot, go for it dude. You don't want to be sitting around bitter and depressed over not trying, trust me.

Give her time to do the shit she's busy with, obviously.

[Human Snorenado]

Was not simping, honest to blog.  Even after hearing about the breakup, I didn't even THINK about her in a romantic way, nor did I all weekend until we were saying our goodbyes on Sunday afternoon and she got awkward and teary eyed again... I just thought she was getting upset about the ex again (believe me, she's overly emotional) and told her, "It's ok, this too shall pass," or something cornball like that and that's when she told me, no, this was about having feelings for me and being confused about them.

I mean, I told her I was floored because I had mentally (or so I thought) managed to move on.  But I'm not gonna lie, that fucked my head up pretty fucking good.  Still is.  Then I told her that I still felt the same way about her that I did earlier this year, but understood that everything was fucked up with her emotions right now and work. (she has a shit ton of work to do until the beginning of November, then every weekend from then until Christmas will be doing trade shows selling her art and shit)  So, with that and my school/work load, there's probably not even an opportunity for us to say hi for five minutes until 2014. 

Fuck.  Just fuck.  Didn't need this distraction.

[Human Snorenado]

My thoughts on the issue:

-she's confused and had a good time with me as a friend over the weekend, and is conflating the fun times we had with something more
-she's emotionally vulnerable right now and I'm a known quantity as a friend and also someone that has told her I liked her
-I'm probably way more appealing as a potential mate now than I was earlier in the year when I was 20-25 pounds heavier and less sure of myself/my future plans

All that said, I think the fact that she waited until I was loading shit into my car to spring this means she's not really sure what's up in her head/heart.  I was leaning towards moving back to Atlanta early next summer anyway, and I'll suggest to her the next time we talk that if we're both still single and want to address this at that point, that would be a good idea.  But I'm not going to fuck with a long distance thing, and I don't just want to hook up with this woman.  It would be something serious and monogamous or nothing at all.

I think that's probably the adult thing to do and shit.

[chronovore]

If you're good friends, keep it that way. As Wrath said, best case is you are a Rebound Guy. Things get more weird after that. As you said, she is conflating the good times she had with you, and contrasting them with the wreck of her current situation.

Let her get stable on her own terms, be a friend, don't let anything start right now.

[Human Snorenado]

Eh, nothing could reasonably start right now other than a stupid long distance relationship that would probably just be a bunch of feels for a couple months.  Just gonna ride the wave of this nonsense for a week or so, aided by liberal applications of booze, and I'll be fine.  Just such a head fuck for now.

[Mupepe]

My thoughts on the issue:

-she's confused and had a good time with me as a friend over the weekend, and is conflating the fun times we had with something more
-she's emotionally vulnerable right now and I'm a known quantity as a friend and also someone that has told her I liked her
-I'm probably way more appealing as a potential mate now than I was earlier in the year when I was 20-25 pounds heavier and less sure of myself/my future plans

All that said, I think the fact that she waited until I was loading shit into my car to spring this means she's not really sure what's up in her head/heart.  I was leaning towards moving back to Atlanta early next summer anyway, and I'll suggest to her the next time we talk that if we're both still single and want to address this at that point, that would be a good idea.  But I'm not going to fuck with a long distance thing, and I don't just want to hook up with this woman.  It would be something serious and monogamous or nothing at all.

I think that's probably the adult thing to do and shit.

I'd say your analysis is probably correct.  Anything you'd do right now would be rebound.  Wait it out.  You be the mature one if she starts talking any crazy shit.  Give her your reasoning too.  You don't want to be a rebound she might regret.  If she still has these feelings in 1, 2 or 3 months from now then you and her can reevaluate.

[chronovore]

Yeah, okay. Or that.

[Cerveza mas fina]

FUCK FUCK FUCK

This will be the only time I post about this here as I generally consider myself to be more mature and well-adjusted to the point where I don't need to talk to people about shit like this, but here goes

Let's say there's a woman I've carried a flame for for several years now, and expressed that to her earlier this year and was gently put into the friend zone.  I more or less moved on with my life, and she did too, dating here or there and eventually getting into a serious relationship over the summer.  The last time I saw her two months ago, she was really happy in her relationship, and I was, to my astonishment, not bitter at the situation, but genuinely happy for her.  She's been a really dear friend for forever (I don't make friends easily... I probably count the people I consider genuine friends on one hand, and she's one of them) so I was happy for her.

I visited Atlanta again this weekend and looked her up, to find out that a) she'd been dumped by her boyfriend a couple weeks ago b) was a wreck c) needed help over the weekend with some work shit.  Well fuck, I helped her out of her work jam... because I'm such a good friend/sucker.  We also went out to a bunch of different shit, drinking, hanging out, having a good time generally speaking.  End of the weekend comes around and we're saying goodbye and it gets awkward.  Why?  "Because I do have feelings for you, but everything is fucked up right now, it's my super busy time of the year with work, and you live out of state... I just don't think we could make this work."  OUT OF THE BLUE.

WHAT THE FUCK.  WHY SAY THAT.  FUCK THIS GAY EARTH.

Ok, we can now go back to giving Malek advice about dating.  I'll be over here quietly drinking myself to death.

Did you have sex with her?

[Mupepe]

Wasn't that what happened with one of the married dudes on this forum? Gundam, or Contra, or etiolate, or one of those guys?

Happened with me.  Though we had a relationship of sorts of years prior to that too.

[Human Snorenado]

This girl and I have been friends for... shit... 8 years now?  Almost 9?  She was roommates with one of my best friends for a while.

[Mr. Gundam]

Wasn't that what happened with one of the married dudes on this forum? Gundam, or Contra, or etiolate, or one of those guys?

I was the "rebound guy" with a girl I dated before getting together with my now-wife. It was definitely for the best that it ended.

[nudemacusers]

I met my wife in a terrible, terrible college bar and tried to smang ASAP.

[Steve Contra]

Wasn't that what happened with one of the married dudes on this forum? Gundam, or Contra, or etiolate, or one of those guys?

Nah, I was introduced to my wife by an ex-girlfriend.  She took me home that night, and that's that

[Brehvolution]

I met my wife when she first started dating a friend of mine. I was engaged to someone else at the time so it was no big deal. That fell through( ) and it didn't work out with them so

[Phoenix Dark]

Wasn't that what happened with one of the married dudes on this forum? Gundam, or Contra, or etiolate, or one of those guys?

Nah, I was introduced to my wife by an ex-girlfriend.  She took me home that night, and that's that

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

It's been over two months since I last had teh sex.  With work and classes, there's just little time to find anyone.  This is why prostitution should be legal - I could just call up some chick on backpage.com and get off inside of her instead of my hairy, calloused right hand.

[Van Cruncheon]

Wasn't that what happened with one of the married dudes on this forum? Gundam, or Contra, or etiolate, or one of those guys?

Nah, I was introduced to my wife by an ex-girlfriend.  She took me home that night, and that's that

i was introduced to my wife by an ex-girlfriend, too.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

her sister.  we also went home that night.

[close]

[Phoenix Dark]

wow

[Rufus]

Boasting about being a hand-me-down.

[Phoenix Dark]

Was it like that scene in Soul Food where Teri finds out her little sister Maxine stole her boyfriend?
 

[Shadow Mod]

Boasting about being a hand-me-down.

lmao

[Flannel Boy]

I love women who have secret codes in their profiles that you must enter in a message to them to prove that you read their entire profiles. "I need you to type 'tippy toes' in your message to me as proof you read my entire stream of concsiousness I call a profile. How dare you not know that my favorite TV show is Weeds or that my favorite book is 50 Shades of Grey?"

Well, I'm sorry that I didn't make it to the end of your profile, but I just had to send you a message after reading you describe your personality as "stable, humble, and unassuming."

[Shadow Mod]

I love women who have secret codes in their profiles that you must enter in a message to them to prove that you read their entire profiles. "I need you to type 'tippy toes' in your message to me as proof you read my entire stream of concsiousness I call a profile. How dare you not know that my favorite TV show is Weeds or that my favorite book is 50 Shades of Grey?"

Well, I'm sorry that I didn't make it to the end of your profile, but I just had to send you a message after reading you describe your personality as "stable, humble, and unassuming."

"stable, humble, and unassuming."

No one says these things about themselves if they're true.

[Human Snorenado]

I've had more dates since I deactivated my OkStupid profile, and I don't have to deal with flaky people who don't know wtf they want out of life

winning

[Cerveza mas fina]

What kind of girls are you into?

[Human Snorenado]

What kind of girls are you into?

Judging from my past history, one of two stereotypes:

Crazy, foul-mouthed, hard drinking, tattooed brunettes -or-
Crazy redhead (redundant, but still)

[Cerveza mas fina]

They sound hot

What bodytype?

[Human Snorenado]

Whatever.  Short, tall, skinny to my favorite "15 extra pounds in all the right places"

[Steve Contra]

Wasn't that what happened with one of the married dudes on this forum? Gundam, or Contra, or etiolate, or one of those guys?

Nah, I was introduced to my wife by an ex-girlfriend.  She took me home that night, and that's that

i was introduced to my wife by an ex-girlfriend, too.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

her sister.  we also went home that night.

[close]

Was the sister thick?

[Human Snorenado]

Going out tonight with a super hot brunette hairdresser that can drink me under the table, has a bunch of awesome tattoos, and does roller derby for fun.  The best part?  I'll let Pacino take this one.





edit: stupid fucking youtube.  well, you get the idea.

[brawndolicious]

If she has a tramp stamp, make a Lady & the Tramp pun (you're the tramp)! I'm kidding sort of.

Advice needed: you have a class and are always studying with a girl and there seems to be a mutual interest although she's always nervous around me and I think assumes I'm too oblivious, should I wait a month until right before finals or just ask sooner? I'm extremely awkward yet deliberate since quitting the dating sites but I feel like I need to be a bit more clear in showing interest.

[Flannel Boy]

50% of you don't care, 50% of you think I deserve what I get (e.g., Devo), 50% of you are Mandark, Bebpo, and Cajole, 50% of you wonder how I won my grade 8 match competition.

I went out for drinks with Simpsons Fangirl. We talked for three hours and drank Ontario craft beer. We have a lot in common, but--as per fucking usual--I'm pretty sure she didn't feel DAT SPARK.

[Rufus]

Advice needed: you have a class and are always studying with a girl and there seems to be a mutual interest although she's always nervous around me and I think assumes I'm too oblivious, should I wait a month until right before finals or just ask sooner? I'm extremely awkward yet deliberate since quitting the dating sites but I feel like I need to be a bit more clear in showing interest.

As someone who actually is very oblivious (but getting better every year): don't procrastinate and ask her out.

[Human Snorenado]

Somebody is waaaaaay into me 

[Flannel Boy]

I'm pretty sure she didn't feel DAT SPARK.

She didn't feel "that connection." Women and their thesauruses.

[Human Snorenado]

I'm pretty sure she didn't feel DAT SPARK.

She didn't feel "that connection." Women and their thesauruses.

[Human Snorenado]

Somebody is waaaaaay into me 

Is this the girl who always leaves supportive and flirty comments on your facebook posts?

No.  That girl lives about 200 miles away and is always trying to get me to come visit. 

[Shadow Mod]

50% of you don't care, 50% of you think I deserve what I get (e.g., Devo), 50% of you are Mandark, Bebpo, and Cajole, 50% of you wonder how I won my grade 8 match competition.

I went out for drinks with Simpsons Fangirl. We talked for three hours and drank Ontario craft beer. We have a lot in common, but--as per fucking usual--I'm pretty sure she didn't feel DAT SPARK.

I don't think you deserve bad things. I think you go at it with the wrong attitude and it ends up terribly because that attitude shines through. Stop making dating this thing where you're just constantly looking for something specific and an end game. Meet new people and let the shit click on its own. Then there is less pressure on you to perform.

 

[T234]

Don't go looking for your soulmate every time you go out looking for women. Only broad I ever went with just basically used me for free medical ganja and rides to work. At least she taught me what the music on the radio meant before breaking my heart.

Broad I asked out before that gave me the cold shoulder.

Chick I asked out before that laughed in my face.

Girl I asked out before that stabbed me through the foot and tried to set me on fire with gasoline. I was 14, she was 15. Didn't ask another one out for ten years after that.


IMPROVEMENT

[brawndolicious]

That first real "I wish she wasn't the first girl I ever fucked" step is a pretty big step. It makes you realize you have to be honest with yourself and be patient for what you want.

[Phoenix Dark]

Come on breh. Classmates go out for drinks all the time, why wouldn't she think of it as a friendly thing. I bet she quickly said yes, and regrets it knowing that guys interpret that wrong. Don't be surprised if she delays or cancels.

I'm glad you took the shot but you can't expect that she wants a relationship simply because she'll go to a bar with you.