Hrmm....not so sure that stopping for both of you might be the issue.
Sex is one of those things that the more you get, the more you want. I guess it would help you in cutting down your lasting time. But women have a very small refractory period and can cum multiple times, so long as you're not lasting so long you're making her raw I think lasting a while might be a good thing rather than a bad one. I mean, you're both masturbating a lot so you have a lot drive obviously. How bad is the schedule thing? Are you guys so tired when you get together that sex is more cursory than anything? Maybe you guys are in a sexual rut? Or maybe one of you is?
My lasting time is seriously fucking weird and I hate that about myself. I'm 100% game for pound town for the first 10 minutes, but after that and a few position changes, I need to be in a verrrrry particular position/rhythm to get myself going again. And when I do, I need to do it for a decent amount of time. At that point, she's already had three or four orgasms, and she'll often times plop down, exhausted. And yeah, it's become an issue where after a while I end up hurting her vagina, and obviously I don't want that. And she gets upset if I don't finish, which I completely understand.
The schedule thing fucks up 4 or 5 out of 7 nights for us. I'll come home at 5:30, but she'll have just started a shift at 2 and won't get out until 11, sometimes 12. And when she works mornings, she'll be exhausted at night because she has to get up at 4 am. When we try and have sex those nights, it definitely does feel like we're going through the motions. I would not be surprised if I'm going through a rut. I haven't been as active lately at the gym/basketball so my endurance is not super high. That's another thing I've committed to – getting back into my cardio workout.
How open are sexual discussions? Are you two able to freely share fantasies and discuss likes/dislikes? That usually kicks things up a notch.
We talk, but it hasn't ever been a full on discussion. I've mentioned the idea of a threesome, and she's not into it. Understandable. I then mentioned maybe watching porn together. She seemed into that, but with the caveat that it shouldn't be something we use all the time. Again, I agree with her on that.