Author Topic: Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again" (Read 1247304 times)

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #9840 on:** October 17, 2016, 10:03:09 PM »

Quote from: Kara on October 17, 2016, 09:58:54 PM

New addenda for Project Deal-breaker:

-Doesn't know who Edgar Degas was.
-Can't recognize "Call me Ishmael."*

*Subject to cultural and linguistic reasonableness. If you an AmeriKKKan though...

Post if you're ok

Atramental · « **Reply #9841 on:** October 17, 2016, 10:08:23 PM »

I know who Edgar Degas is, Karakand-senpai.

Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on October 17, 2016, 09:22:23 PM

Pallo stop coming off like you're Mr. Hot Shit. You're a bald virgin that plots out his text messages like its the next move in a risk game but is actually playing Guess Who.
Just go and have some fun.

2 out of 3 girls, that I've dated, think I'm attractive and funny.

My ego is out of control, breh.

Kara · « **Reply #9842 on:** October 17, 2016, 10:13:13 PM »

Quote from: Pallando on October 17, 2016, 10:08:23 PM

I know who Edgar Degas is, Karakand-senpai.

Congratulations on meeting the bare minimum, kohai.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #9843 on:** October 17, 2016, 10:16:28 PM »

There is nothing wrong with being unattracted to a girl because of her weight, nor should you feel pressure to be with her instead of being alone but banging her while dissing her online is not something lots of people will be fine with. I'm fine with it though.

Atramental · « **Reply #9844 on:** October 17, 2016, 10:17:55 PM »

I present myself as is on my Tinder profile and I expect the same from my matches.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #9845 on:** October 17, 2016, 10:18:15 PM »

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #9846 on:** October 17, 2016, 10:19:28 PM »

Ya I even made a point of having a pic in a tshirt which shows my fat tummy in one of mine. Better that than look at there disappointed eyes when I meet them in public.

Samson Manhug · « **Reply #9847 on:** October 17, 2016, 10:39:47 PM »

Quote from: Pallando on October 17, 2016, 10:17:55 PM

I present myself as is on my Tinder profile and I expect the same from my matches.

Does your Tinder profile say "I am crowdsourcing how to have normal human interactions with you on a video game forum"?

seagrams hotsauce · « **Reply #9848 on:** October 17, 2016, 10:43:44 PM »

Quote from: Kara on October 17, 2016, 09:58:54 PM

New addenda for Project Deal-breaker:

-Doesn't know who Edgar Degas was.
-Can't recognize "Call me Ishmael."*

*Subject to cultural and linguistic reasonableness. If you an AmeriKKKan though...

Quote from: nudemacusers on October 17, 2016, 10:00:37 PM

Boned my wife late last nite brehs. Went in raw for the first 15 but then had to rubber up so I could bust inside. Which kinda starts the whole process over. $:-\$ can't play the pull out game no more.

Pray for me.

Pretty great argument to stay a virgin right here tbh

Atramental · « **Reply #9849 on:** October 17, 2016, 10:44:28 PM »

Quote from: Samson Manhug on October 17, 2016, 10:39:47 PM

Quote from: Pallando on October 17, 2016, 10:17:55 PM
I present myself as is on my Tinder profile and I expect the same from my matches.

Does your Tinder profile say "I am crowdsourcing how to have normal human interactions with you on a video game forum"?

Touché.

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #9850 on:** October 18, 2016, 04:03:43 PM »

Quote from: king of the internet on October 15, 2016, 06:39:21 PM

I've only been able to nut from a bj when I grip her head by the hair and manually move it at the desired speed. I suppose it's more like I'm fucking her mouth versus just sitting back and letting her do all the work.

I used to be like this until I figured out to just treat it like a masturbation session. I close my eyes and let my imagination go wild. It works for me and the girl feels like she is good at it.

toku · « **Reply #9851 on:** October 18, 2016, 04:21:47 PM »

No shame in going whaling.

Atramental · « **Reply #9852 on:** October 18, 2016, 06:20:59 PM »

I guess it all feels the same if you close your eyes and try not to get lost in the fat rolls.

Tasty · « **Reply #9853 on:** October 18, 2016, 10:27:39 PM »

Quote from: Kaffir The Reaper on October 18, 2016, 07:05:49 PM

Quote from: Mupepe on October 17, 2016, 09:13:09 PM
A fatty with big tits? I could think of worse ways to spend an evening. Have fun dude.

It's like they say: you have to slay the dragon to get to the princess.

But he's a wizard, not a knight. He's not specced for this breh.

chronovore · « **Reply #9854 on:** October 18, 2016, 11:32:28 PM »

Chubby women are plenty of fun and --not uncommonly-- have had to work on their personality more than women who are always being pursued. Of course there are plenty of self-worth and image problems in any human. But the chubby women I've dated definitely worked harder on conversation, kissing, cuddling, and were more assertive when it was sexy time.

Quote from: Samson Manhug on October 17, 2016, 10:39:47 PM

Quote from: Pallando on October 17, 2016, 10:17:55 PM
I present myself as is on my Tinder profile and I expect the same from my matches.

Does your Tinder profile say "I am crowdsourcing how to have normal human interactions with you on a video game forum"?

so remarkably

lordmaji · « **Reply #9855 on:** October 19, 2016, 12:12:57 AM »

Man, my relationship situation is a multiple train wreck. lol

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #9856 on:** October 19, 2016, 12:20:17 AM »

Quote from: lordmaji on October 19, 2016, 12:12:57 AM

Man, my relationship situation is a multiple train wreck. lol

Sup bro!

Atramental · « **Reply #9857 on:** October 19, 2016, 12:23:32 AM »

Quote from: chronovore on October 18, 2016, 11:32:28 PM

Chubby women are plenty of fun and --not uncommonly-- have had to work on their personality more than women who are always being pursued. Of course there are plenty of self-worth and image problems in any human. But the chubby women I've dated definitely worked harder on conversation, kissing, cuddling, and were more assertive when it was sexy time.

I can deal with chubby girls. But obese girls... eh... nah.

#3 is moderately chubby and even flat out told me she was working on slimming down (I told her she looked great though. Which probably earned me a bunch of brownie points.

)

#4 though... She's obese or on the fast track to becoming obese. And I am not down with that at all. It's unhealthy to be that fat and it's not a good look at all (Sorry Demi

).

edit: Also, despite how far we've come in the early 21st century (and in the 1st world) one thing I absolutely hate about this time in history is how damn easy it is to become the size of a house. It's fucking ridiculous.

lordmaji · « **Reply #9858 on:** October 19, 2016, 12:35:31 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 19, 2016, 12:20:17 AM

Quote from: lordmaji on October 19, 2016, 12:12:57 AM
Man, my relationship situation is a multiple train wreck. lol
Sup bro!

eh, you know. Living the tortured soul life. lol I'm alright though, had to pop in and see whats groovin at the bore.

Samson Manhug · « **Reply #9859 on:** October 19, 2016, 06:53:54 AM »

https://m.reddit.com/r/ChoosingBeggars/

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #9860 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:35:29 AM »

You're just getting experience and possibly getting your dick wet breh.

Atramental · « **Reply #9861 on:** October 19, 2016, 11:25:57 AM »

I'll try to keep that in mind tonight while I'm pounding drinks until she looks more like she did in her Tinder pics.

Quote from: Samson Manhug on October 19, 2016, 06:53:54 AM

https://m.reddit.com/r/ChoosingBeggars/

Also, I always swipe left on obese landwhales so I'm just a bit miffed that this one fell through the cracks. $:-\$

Atramental · « **Reply #9862 on:** October 19, 2016, 01:05:20 PM »

She just texted me:

"I have a question. Do you like thick women?"

Whew lad...

edit: Told her I was fine with thick women.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now excuse me while I get some pregame drinks...

[close]

toku · « **Reply #9863 on:** October 19, 2016, 02:11:05 PM »

demi · « **Reply #9864 on:** October 19, 2016, 02:21:29 PM »

When did Atramental turn into this Olimario-esque character?

Atramental · « **Reply #9865 on:** October 19, 2016, 02:26:34 PM »

>implying that this "side" of me doesn't already exist in my subconscious

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

demi · « **Reply #9866 on:** October 19, 2016, 02:27:34 PM »

It's pretty fucked up dude. Step back for a minute and stop playing a character here.

Atramental · « **Reply #9867 on:** October 19, 2016, 02:33:21 PM »

Don't worry. I'll treat #4 with plenty respect and kindness. And if we hit it off? Great.

But I'm still hoping things work out with girl #3.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #9868 on:** October 19, 2016, 02:36:47 PM »

or just be casual and see how things play themselves out lord

Atramental · « **Reply #9869 on:** October 19, 2016, 02:39:09 PM »

I use this thread as a dumping ground for all of my anxiety and prejudice so it doesn't come up during a date.

Also, I'm pretty cool, calm, and collected in person after a few wank sessions, a couple of drinks, and several shit posts.

Everything is going to be alright.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hopefully.

[close]

Atramental · « **Reply #9870 on:** October 19, 2016, 05:31:06 PM »

Heading out to sea to get me a white whale.

Wish me luck.

And I'll be sure to provide details afterwards.

edit: goddamit... she's wanting me to pick her up at a church...

This is some gospel outreach shit isn't it?

I guess I'll find out soon enough.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #9871 on:** October 19, 2016, 06:13:39 PM »

Is this the single mom?

Atramental · « **Reply #9872 on:** October 19, 2016, 06:19:05 PM »

I initially thought she was a single mom but she isn't.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #9873 on:** October 19, 2016, 07:14:56 PM »

stop thinking

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #9874 on:** October 19, 2016, 07:49:16 PM »

Quote from: Pallando on October 19, 2016, 06:19:05 PM

I initially thought she was a single mom but she isn't.

"I thought she was just pregnant"

El Babua · « **Reply #9875 on:** October 19, 2016, 08:30:47 PM »

Didn't Atra talk about hooking up with thicc chicks in his stories?

You reap what you sow breh.

Atramental · « **Reply #9876 on:** October 19, 2016, 09:31:43 PM »

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!

Sweet shit sucking tittty fucking Christ!

I'll post all of what went down in a bit....

eleuin · « **Reply #9877 on:** October 19, 2016, 09:39:02 PM »

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #9878 on:** October 19, 2016, 09:39:07 PM »

You find her blow hole?

nudemacusers · « **Reply #9879 on:** October 19, 2016, 09:40:56 PM »

how long does it take to write up that you put your wiener in her for 30 seconds and blew your wad

toku · « **Reply #9880 on:** October 19, 2016, 09:46:14 PM »

Don't worry Atra, just buy a plan b fam you're good. #creampieenergy

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #9881 on:** October 19, 2016, 09:46:50 PM »

It WAS a christian outreach program.

Atramental · « **Reply #9882 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:03:00 PM »

Okay.... so girl #4 being fat is the LEAST of her problems. Actually, she looks pretty good at her current size in person.

So...

>I get to the church where she wants me to pick her up at.
>I see a bunch of people smoking in the parking lot and think... "huh, that's odd. A bunch of smokers at a church?"
>She walks out and hops into my car and we start chatting as I pull out of the driveway
>She brings up that she just came out of an Narcotics Anonymous meeting and that's she's a heroin addict in recovery...
>I play it off as nothing
>We chat about other things on the way over. I park the car and we walk to the restaurant.
>We have a really great conversation about all sorts of shit.
>I bring up my past about getting kicked out of BJU for being an atheist. She tells me she's an atheist as well.
>She tells me about all the drugs and alcohol she abused throughout her life (from 15 to now)....
>She brings up that she smokes Newports (Non-menthols). About a pack a day... She saw that kinda bothered me... and she said "Ah... I guess that means no second date...?" and I told her "Hey, I rather you do that instead of inject heroin. Y'know, lesser of two evils and all that shit. And I'm totally down for a second date because you're a lot of fun to talk to."
>I pay for our meal, we leave the restaurant, and head back to my car.
>She tells me that she had a great time and that I'm so nice. Especially compared to the other guys on Tinder (who apparently have sent her dick picks as soon as they got her number...)
>We get to my car at my parking garage. And we drive out.
>She then tells me "Oh... there's one thing I haven't told you yet that I need to tell you... I have Hepatitis C."
>I try to act like I'm not phased by that...
>She goes on "It's curable but I have to wait 6 months." and yadda yadda.
>And upon hearing that I just go "Well! I myself have a secret as well. I'm a virgin. A 26 year old virgin!"
>She was kinda taken aback by that. "I don't think I've ever been with a virgin before. Well, not since high school." And we joke about how much of a slutty druggy sleazebag she is and how pure I am and yadda yadda.
>Then before I drop her off at her place she tells me she wants to quickly meet an old friend of hers (THE GUY THAT WAS HER FUCKING DEALER WHO GOT HER HOOKED ON FUCKING HEROIN!!)
>And we got to the halfway house he was at and dropped her off really quick (The halfway house is walking distance from her house SO I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF HER AND THAT GUY END UP FUCKING LATER). They chatted for a bit and an owl swooped by and landed on the sign I was staring at...
>She got done talking with that loser and hoped in my car
>We chat a bit more, I get to her house, I give her the customary PhoenixDark handshake. She jokingly scoffed "Heh~ A handshake. Give me a hug, silly." and I apologized and said sorry I'm being fucking weird. Cya later.

And I drove home cursing underneath my breath. As soon as I got home I quickly looked up how Hep C is contracted in fear that touching her and sharing some food with her would've gotten that shit inside of me. Thankfully that's not the case...

So yeah. FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Atramental · « **Reply #9883 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:08:04 PM »

I want to friendzone this chick soooo bad.

She's cool to talk to but there's NO WAY in hell I would get in a long term relationship with this mess.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #9884 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:09:27 PM »

skimmed. No sex then?

Atramental · « **Reply #9885 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:10:53 PM »

No sex.

I don't need Hepatitis C in my life.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #9886 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:11:54 PM »

Wife her immediately

Atramental · « **Reply #9887 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:13:44 PM »

I mean, how serious is Hep C?

Can I fuck with a condom and be okay?

Oh, yeah. She's a sex addict as well... She's totally gonna bone that other guy.

Edit: and she's bisexual. So, she's gonna probably scissor some puss on the side as well.

This is the type of girl they warned me about at my religious school

eleuin · « **Reply #9888 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:18:01 PM »

ask for her tumblr name

Atramental · « **Reply #9889 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:25:13 PM »

Gonna text her back...

toku · « **Reply #9890 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:25:24 PM »

Sounds like you had a low effort win here but got scared

Atramental · « **Reply #9891 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:36:14 PM »

"Hey [name], letting you know that I got home safely and I had a great time with you. Sorry if I got a bit weird at the end. Had to process some stuff. Feel free to text me later if you wanna hangout again. Bye and goodnight."

nudemacusers · « **Reply #9892 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:39:21 PM »

Quote from: Pallando on October 19, 2016, 10:36:14 PM

"Hey [name], letting you know that I got home safely and I had a great time with you. Sorry if I got a bit weird at the end. Had to process some stuff. Feel free to text me later if you wanna hangout again. Bye and goodnight."

Atramental · « **Reply #9893 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:40:47 PM »

What the fuck would you say to a hep c, druggy, slut?

Haven't sent a text yet.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #9894 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:41:15 PM »

Not that

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #9895 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:41:18 PM »

DONT SEND THAT

Atramental · « **Reply #9896 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:41:52 PM »

What do I do...

What do I do?

nudemacusers · « **Reply #9897 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:43:01 PM »

You're limited to 10 word or less.

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #9898 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:44:06 PM »

Yeah dude you don't, you don't get get sucked up in that. You've over lowered your standards

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #9899 on:** October 19, 2016, 10:45:06 PM »

speak love songs in whale tongue to her.

News:

Author Topic: Pallando will return in "Never Say Never Again" (Read 1247304 times)