Official *Consoles Are For Losers* thread

[Raban]

I spent way too much time on this, but learned how to make .gifs in Photoshop in the process. Enjoy.


Here's the uncut version, wasn't sure if it was sfw:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[maxy]

You a missing one thing

-dude stops shooting
-body starts twitching
-It's a Me Mario!
-hops on dude head

[radioheadrule83]

I can't fucking stand Sony for two reasons: 1) my PS3 broke on me after I paid a ludicrous £399 for it + games, and 2) some of their fans are insufferable rage inducing morons and shill for them all over the Internet. I want everyone involved to be unhappy

Oh and make that three reasons -- 3) everyone bought PS2s instead of superior Dreamcasts, Gamecubes and Xboxen. The world is still owed justice for that transgression.

So here's my hope:

- diminished returns obvious, PC fanboys able to shit all over it in under a year
- £350+ launch price almost killing it on arrival
- Xbox 720 reveal is God metaphysically using Microsoft to poop creamy hot jizz from his pooper all over Sony hopes and dreams
- Vita 2.0

 


here's what is more reasonable to expect in the near future:

- Target Render Expo 2013
- Idiots masturbating in text form and ruining the internet for everybody

[Diunx]

Radiohead fans

[maxy]

After Vita event,bunch of people on some European forums were trying to convince me that Vita is going to dominate,outsell 3DS and even replace consoles in the West.

I was like--wait,what,how?
"Dude,console gaming on the go,dual analogs,front and back touch,imagine the possibilities,amazing graphics,Uncharted,look at third party(COD),coding to the metal look look"

But it doesn't have TV out,what about my TV
"Who cares,Sony will release a dongle,Uncharted on the go,COD,you can take your games anywhere"

But I don't want to take my games with me,I want to play them on a big TV
"Vita is the future--enjoy your crappy underpowered gimped smartphone,hater...blah blah blah"

smh

I fully expect to see something similar after PS4 event.Better start packing my xbox,PC,TV,etc so I can quickly throw them out of the window.It will be fun to read though

[radioheadrule83]

People still believe its as powerful as a PS3 despite all evidence to the contrary. Not that it should matter, as its clearly more powerful than a 3DS... but still, yes, I expect a similar hype effort and similar general ignorance.

Radiohead fans

Sperm burping sausage wallets

[ToxicAdam]

I can't fucking stand Sony for two reasons: 1) my PS3 broke on me after I paid a ludicrous £399 for it + games, and 2) some of their fans are insufferable rage inducing morons and shill for them all over the Internet. I want everyone involved to be unhappy

Oh and make that three reasons -- 3) everyone bought PS2s instead of superior Dreamcasts, Gamecubes and Xboxen. The world is still owed justice for that transgression.

Oh look, another butthurt Sega fan shitting on Sony. How novel.

[hampster]

Sony is teasing a big event and I'm the only one hoping its Vita Heaven 2 :'(

[maxy]

Hoping as hoping to win the lottery?

anything else is a case for

.________@@_
|----------------\__
| WAAMBULANCE |
|__ _______ ___/
''''''O'''''''''''''O''''

[Huff]

I can't fucking stand Sony for two reasons: 1) my PS3 broke on me after I paid a ludicrous £399 for it + games, and 2) some of their fans are insufferable rage inducing morons and shill for them all over the Internet. I want everyone involved to be unhappy

Oh and make that three reasons -- 3) everyone bought PS2s instead of superior Dreamcasts, Gamecubes and Xboxen. The world is still owed justice for that transgression.

Oh look, another butthurt Sega fan shitting on Sony. How novel.

He's actually a ninthing or has been recently.

[Don Flamenco]

After Vita event,bunch of people on some European forums were trying to convince me that Vita is going to dominate,outsell 3DS and even replace consoles in the West.

I was like--wait,what,how?
"Dude,console gaming on the go,dual analogs,front and back touch,imagine the possibilities,amazing graphics,Uncharted,look at third party(COD),coding to the metal look look"

But it doesn't have TV out,what about my TV
"Who cares,Sony will release a dongle,Uncharted on the go,COD,you can take your games anywhere"

But I don't want to take my games with me,I want to play them on a big TV
"Vita is the future--enjoy your crappy underpowered gimped smartphone,hater...blah blah blah"

smh

I fully expect to see something similar after PS4 event.Better start packing my xbox,PC,TV,etc so I can quickly throw them out of the window.It will be fun to read though

People who thought TV-out would happen any time around the Vita launch were terribly wrong.

it would be kinda neat if they put something out eventually, though my Vita screen is much higher quality than my TV and all the visual flaws will be magnified like crazy, just like PSP tv-out.   The image quality will be absolute crap unless they secretly designed the system's image quality to look good even when blown-up.

[radioheadrule83]

I can't fucking stand Sony for two reasons: 1) my PS3 broke on me after I paid a ludicrous £399 for it + games, and 2) some of their fans are insufferable rage inducing morons and shill for them all over the Internet. I want everyone involved to be unhappy

Oh and make that three reasons -- 3) everyone bought PS2s instead of superior Dreamcasts, Gamecubes and Xboxen. The world is still owed justice for that transgression.

Oh look, another butthurt Sega fan shitting on Sony. How novel.

He's actually a ninthing or has been recently.

In the glory days of innocence I was a 50/50 segadriven ninthing, had both, loved both. Enjoyed N64, PlayStation and Saturn too. Then two things happened. 1) Sony told everyone their DVD player would jack people into the matrix and do Toy Story. 2) I started to use Internet forums more, immediately learning to hate people and the various things they love.

You'd be crazy to trust anything that comes from Sony on Feb 20. They are a dishonest company driven by nice industrial design and a lot of unwarranted hype, and they sell everything at launch for ridiculous brand premiums as though they're Apple. They're not. They launched PS3 for over £400 in the UK. They promised us backwards compatablity, we had an SKU cluster fuck. We were having such a good time mocking 360s RROD, Sony decided to give us YLOD and a full week without their hacked PlayStation network. MGS4 was terrible. Final Fantasy has sucked since 12. Uncharted's moments of brilliance are ruined by shitty gunplay, and it's somehow managed to ruin the Tomb Raider franchise... God of War? Seems a bit like a grunting, violent opiate for men who might be unsure of their sexuality to me. Journey? Great while it lasts. Warhawk, Starhawk, Super Stardust? Meh, they're alright. Vita is some kind of cosmetically concealed harlequin abortion, whose value lies somewhere between a PSP, an early 2013 smartphone and things that people generally don't care about... like facebook posts about other peoples' children. It probably has some good games, but I don't know or care about them because I'm too busy playing other things to waste £200.

Am I raping anyone's mind yet, or are people here to clever to rise to it? Show me my Sony loving counterpart, we shall talk long into the night!

(Image removed from quote.)

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm only messing around, I'm bored as fuck at work waiting for something new to do - just ignore me. I do intend to get a Vita at some point.

[close]

[Don Flamenco]

edit: whoops wrong thread

[Momo]

Some extreme anus damage on this page

[maxy]

Where is Borys?
 

Awesome post is awesome.

full week without their hacked PlayStation network

According to Wiki,it lasted 24 days.

[Don Flamenco]

that was some serious downtime.  I'm glad I wasn't playing any ps3 games during that, though I was a little worried about losing my account that has more than a few hundred bucks worth of stuff in it.

[Himu]

Psn down for a week? That shit was down for a month. I switched to xbuck permanently after that. Haven't looked back since.

[Huff]

But they said they were sorry

What more do you want cry baby bitchez

[Eel O'Brian]

that worked out okay for me, i rarely ever played online anyway so i basically got some free games for continuing not to play online

i did have to get a new bank card, though, but that was just a phone call

[Purple Filth]

that worked out okay for me, i rarely ever played online anyway so i basically got some free games for continuing not to play online

i did have to get a new bank card, though, but that was just a phone call

pretty much.

free games for doing jack shit

[cool breeze]

were the newer Edge rumors posted?

Development sources with working knowledge of both next generation consoles have told us that PlayStation 4 will be more powerful than the next Xbox, will ship with a redesigned controller and launch by the end of the year in Japan and the US. PlayStation 4’s European launch will follow in early 2014.

Sony is set to reveal its next PlayStation on Wednesday February 20th at an event dubbed ‘see the future’. Sony Computer Entertainment released a teaser video last night to announce the event. Below, our sources revealed what to expect from PlayStation 4.

The controller

Sources close to the hardware have revealed to us that PS4 will ship with a redesigned controller which is the same size as an existing DualShock but features a small touchpad in place of the existing Select, Start and PS buttons. The tech is based on Vita’s rear touchpad, and is similarly responsive in use.

A new Share button on the controller will, when pressed, launch a new feature that will allow screenshots and video to be distributed online. The PS4 hardware will continually record the most recent 15 minutes of onscreen action (with no processing penalty, claims our source), which users will then be able to edit and broadcast via the Internet.

The launch

We’re told that PlayStation 4 will launch in Japan and the US by Christmas, with a Euro rollout following in early 2014, the delay attributed to the complexities involved in European distribution. Alongside the console, Sony will also introduce a new, improved iteration of its PlayStation Eye peripheral, which remains compatible with the PlayStation Move controller. Move will be available at launch, but it’s not clear yet whether it will be bundled with the hardware. Sony has already earned an enormous amount of goodwill among studios working with PS4 development hardware. Privately, Sony representatives have conceded that the company made a mistake in creating such esoteric architecture for PS3, and its strategy for PS4 gives developers more opportunities this time around, notably because the hardware is much more PC-like in its makeup than PS3.

(more at website)

a redesigned controller which is the same size as an existing DualShock

really hope this doesn't mean "a dual shock with a touchpad."  I just want a new playstation controller that's not a minor evolution of what we used in the late 90s.

Share button is pretty smart, assuming the videos can be uploaded to youtube or saved as standard file formats.  Some proprietary Sony social network like how Nintendo mucked up screenshots on the Wii U would limit its usefulness.  And the touchpad could be great, though I mostly see it for navigation, and swipe gestures and gimmicky nonsense.

[ToxicAdam]

In the glory days of innocence I was a 50/50 segadriven ninthing, had both, loved both.

ICalledIt.gif

[maxy]

Console wars have really started heating up
http://www.computerandvideogames.com/388987/ps4-press-conference-reveal-shows-sony-has-seized-the-moment/

While recent alleged leaks of PS4 specs had triggered the inevitable debate on whether it's going to outperform the next Xbox, a Sony insider told me that this isn't going to be the focus at the company.

The war won't be won by producing the most powerful system, the person said. Sony is focusing attentions on fighting the Xbox business head-on with a well organised and timely console launch. No long waits, no executive hubris, no historic calamities.

Of course, this morning a Microsoft insider offered a poignant reminder: "Victory will go not to those who make the most noise, but those who make the most impact".

http://www.edge-online.com/news/playstation-4-revealed/

Development sources with working knowledge of both next generation consoles have told us that PlayStation 4 will be more powerful than the next Xbox, will ship with a redesigned controller and launch by the end of the year in Japan and the US. PlayStation 4’s European launch will follow in early 2014.

Sony is set to reveal its next PlayStation on Wednesday February 20th at an event dubbed ‘see the future’. Sony Computer Entertainment released a teaser video last night to announce the event. Below, our sources revealed what to expect from PlayStation 4.

The controller

Sources close to the hardware have revealed to us that PS4 will ship with a redesigned controller which is the same size as an existing DualShock but features a small touchpad in place of the existing Select, Start and PS buttons. The tech is based on Vita’s rear touchpad, and is similarly responsive in use.

A new Share button on the controller will, when pressed, launch a new feature that will allow screenshots and video to be distributed online. The PS4 hardware will continually record the most recent 15 minutes of onscreen action (with no processing penalty, claims our source), which users will then be able to edit and broadcast via the Internet.

The launch

We’re told that PlayStation 4 will launch in Japan and the US by Christmas, with a Euro rollout following in early 2014, the delay attributed to the complexities involved in European distribution. Alongside the console, Sony will also introduce a new, improved iteration of its PlayStation Eye peripheral, which remains compatible with the PlayStation Move controller. Move will be available at launch, but it’s not clear yet whether it will be bundled with the hardware. Sony has already earned an enormous amount of goodwill among studios working with PS4 development hardware. Privately, Sony representatives have conceded that the company made a mistake in creating such esoteric architecture for PS3, and its strategy for PS4 gives developers more opportunities this time around, notably because the hardware is much more PC-like in its makeup than PS3.

We have confirmed with sources that recently leaked tech specs are accurate. Though Durango devkits offer 8GB of DDR3 RAM, compared to Orbis’s 4GB, Sony’s GDDR5 solution is capable of moving data at 176 gigabytes per second, which should eliminate the sort of bottlenecks that hampered PS3 game performance. Importantly, we’ve learned that Sony has told developers that it is pushing for the final PS4 RAM to match up to Microsoft’s 8GB.

Both platforms are driven by eight-core AMD CPUs clocked at 1.6GHz, with Microsoft opting for a D3D11.x GPU from an unknown source and Sony utilising a more capable solution in AMD’s ‘R10XX’ architecture, alongside the so-called ‘Liverpool’ system-on-chip.

It’s clear Sony has designed a system that, on paper, outperforms Microsoft’s next Xbox. One source familiar with both platforms tells us that in real terms Sony’s console is “slightly more powerful” and “very simple to work with”.

Ultimately, the performance differences between the two consoles will have as much bearing on multiplatform releases as the differences between PS3 and 360 – very little – but Sony will be expecting big-budget firstparty releases such as the PS4 Uncharted sequel to demonstrate its console’s superiority.

http://www.polygon.com/2013/2/1/3940622/ps4-next-xbox-launch-date

The next PlayStation will be unveiled later this month, shown at this year's E3 and then launched this holiday where it will compete with the next Xbox, sources familiar with the console tell Polygon.

The information was provided to Polygon prior to last night's news of a Feb. 20 PlayStation Meeting in New York to "see the future." The Wall Street Journal is also reporting that sources have told them the console will come out this holiday, competing with the next Xbox.

Sources familiar with the Microsoft console tell Polygon that Microsoft, while already aware of Sony's launch timing, plans to hold its own announcement this spring, months after Sony's unveiling. A variety of form-factors for Microsoft's new console, we're told, are already being focus tested.

Both next generation consoles will focus on expanding their reach beyond core gaming to include more entertainment and social aspects, according to our sources. That could include, we're told, a subsidized version of the Xbox that serves as both a gaming platform and a cable box, though agreements with cable companies have yet to be finalized. Last year, The Verge reported that Microsoft was also working on a subsidized low-cost alternative to its next-gen console.

fryinghigh

[hampster]

The share stuff on the PS4 is interesting. I wonder if it will have streaming built in

[Eel O'Brian]

i'd like the handles on the controller to be a little fuller and more ergonomic

[Eel O'Brian]

touch pad could be useful for some basic things, i doubt it would be overgimmicked as it's going to be pretty small

[maxy]

What about the people with big fingers?

[Stoney Mason]

I'd rather have a few more buttons than touchpad. I don't really get the appeal. But I think I mentioned this before.

[ToxicAdam]

Privately, Sony representatives have conceded that the company made a mistake in creating such esoteric architecture for PS3, and its strategy for PS4 gives developers more opportunities this time around, notably because the hardware is much more PC-like in its makeup than PS3.

It's amazing to me that people didn't learn/remember this lesson during the Genesis/SNES days. 

[Smooth Groove]

It's harder to makeup BS performance claims when you're just using non-proprietary tech.

[Stoney Mason]

Privately, Sony representatives have conceded that the company made a mistake in creating such esoteric architecture for PS3, and its strategy for PS4 gives developers more opportunities this time around, notably because the hardware is much more PC-like in its makeup than PS3.

It's amazing to me that people didn't learn/remember this lesson during the Genesis/SNES days.

They were on top of the world and their ego told them they could do whatever they want. Happens all the time. People forgot what a dominant position they had coming into this gen.

[Don Flamenco]

really hope this doesn't mean "a dual shock with a touchpad."  I just want a new playstation controller that's not a minor evolution of what we used in the late 90s.

Share button is pretty smart, assuming the videos can be uploaded to youtube or saved as standard file formats.  Some proprietary Sony social network like how Nintendo mucked up screenshots on the Wii U would limit its usefulness.  And the touchpad could be great, though I mostly see it for navigation, and swipe gestures and gimmicky nonsense.

The best controllers we've gotten have been minor evolutions.  I wouldn't want them to change up a tried-and-true design.  At best, it's a little more comfortable to hold.  At worst, a bad controller design gets in the way of gameplay--whether its the shitty pre-DS3 Sixaxis (flimsy, constant de-sync, motion controls are a gimmick) or the wii controller (one big gimmick.) 

I hope the traditional controller doesn't have any motion controls built in (just put ALL of that shit on the Move), but a touch screen could be neat for menu navigation and I imagine the OS will be built completely around it.

[cool breeze]

The other thing I don't want is a bunch of sequels to PS3 franchises.  That's what was disappointing about the Vita.  PSP had its own identity and franchises for a while, then Sony went "Syphon Filter? no, people really want portable Resistance!" and it continued to portable Uncharted, portable Killzone, etc.  It's also why Gravity Daze and Tearaway are the Vita games that interest me.

Uncharted 4, Infamous 3, LittleBigPlanet 3, Killzone 4, etc. would be pretty boring apart from the momentary surprise of improved visuals.  Though I'm not against a new Colony Wars, Jumping Flash, or other PS1 revivals.  Realistically I'm just expecting Sucker Punch's new game.  Guessing Naughy Dog's next thing will be at E3. 

touch pad could be useful for some basic things, i doubt it would be overgimmicked as it's going to be pretty small

I was just thinking about the previous rumor that said it could 'click in,' so maybe the whole pad is the home button and isn't use for games.  Like, while you playing a game you can do a two finger swipe to the right for next track on custom soundtracks.  Stuff like that.

 

[Don Flamenco]

I expect to see a lot of Journey-esque art games.  The console-exclusive art game niche has proven to work for them...a GOTY awarded $15 downloadable art game is kind of incredible.  Though I guess something like that was bound to happen with this gen going on forever.

Sony's art games like Everyday Shooter, the Pixeljunk games, Unfinished Swan, and others have gotten a lot of attention this gen.  They have others that didn't get quite as huge like that one weird perspective game with the walking wooden doll guys, but basically they've put more entries in this "genre" than any other genres for their first party games.  That'll pay off.

[Mr. Gundam]

Psn down for a week? That shit was down for a month. I switched to xbuck permanently after that. Haven't looked back since.

Yet you bitch about games that are PS3 only not being on the 360.

[Stoney Mason]

Just happy that within about 2 months the new consoles will be officially outed. It's been a long time.  :'(

Don't really care about that tech war that will follow. Both consoles will be a big jump on what we currently have and the last gen tech of the Wii U so I'm fine with where either land. Just want to know the little details and new bells and whistles that each will have and how their online interfaces will work.

[Don Flamenco]

they should one up nintendo by building a whole TV into the controller.

[mjemirzian]

Avert your eyes from the ensuing console war if you want to keep your sanity. Just play some good games instead.

[Beezy]

I've never had a console at launch (GC for xmas after launch was the closest), but I don't think I'll be able to hold back this time. Especially since my 360 is annoyingly loud.

[cool breeze]

Just happy that within about 2 months the new consoles will be officially outed. It's been a long time.  :'(

Don't really care about that tech war that will follow. Both consoles will be a big jump on what we currently have and the last gen tech of the Wii U so I'm fine with where either land. Just want to know the little details and new bells and whistles that each will have and how their online interfaces will work.

yeah, really both consoles will be the same, and probably closer this time around.  It'll be down to exclusives and services.

Right now my feeling is that I'll go with PS4 at launch only if it has backwards compatibility, just because I need to replace my PS3 soon.  If it doesn't have that, it'll be Microsoft's sale to lose.  There's always the chance I pass on both, but that's easy to say now.

The best controllers we've gotten have been minor evolutions.  I wouldn't want them to change up a tried-and-true design.  At best, it's a little more comfortable to hold.  At worst, a bad controller design gets in the way of gameplay--whether its the shitty pre-DS3 Sixaxis (flimsy, constant de-sync, motion controls are a gimmick) or the wii controller (one big gimmick.) 

I hope the traditional controller doesn't have any motion controls built in (just put ALL of that shit on the Move), but a touch screen could be neat for menu navigation and I imagine the OS will be built completely around it.

Well, yeah.  I wouldn't want it to try something different like the gamecube controller.  I mean that I want the dual shock to be updated.  Again, I'll point to that wireless logitech controller for the ps2 as an example of fixing the controller without changing its core.  Dual shock always felt like Sony was patching a leaky ship to keep it afloat because it's 'good enough.'

speaking about minor evolutions, I'd like it if Microsoft tweaked the 360 controller a bit to make it closer to the S-controller.  Mainly the left stick and shoulder buttons sitting lower than on the 360 pad.

[maxy]

Not related to this forum,but it's pretty funny to see a lots of internet creatures changing their tune,tune they have been singing this whole gen.
"No way that Sony announces PS4 first or launches in the same year as MS,no way no way,PS3 is about to hit its stride"

[ToxicAdam]

Do you think Sony will announce a price point on Feb 20th? Seems a bit premature, but it also seems odd to unveil a console and not announce the price.

[maxy]

Not a chance.

[radioheadrule83]

Do you think Sony will announce a price point on Feb 20th? Seems a bit premature, but it also seems odd to unveil a console and not announce the price.

Here to E3 will be a game of chess. Show shit, see how the public respond, let the other guys show shit, see how the public respond, show more shit, try and set the right price.

Anyone think it'll be below $350? I'm expecting that as a minimum.
I think they'll both be over £300 when you actually factor in everything you need to play and it won't surprise me if Sony break £400 again.

Amazing news for Microsoft if its true that Sony won't make Christmas in Europe!

[Eel O'Brian]

$399 is the new $299

[Stoney Mason]

$399 is the new $299

This. Although between bundles and high end models there will be more expensive versions. But I think $399 on the low end is the most likely course.

[Brehvolution]

Awwww, I loved executive hubris. Nothing licks a fanboy's ass more than executive hubris.

[ToxicAdam]

$399 is the new $299

This. Although between bundles and high end models there will be more expensive versions. But I think $399 on the low end is the most likely course.

See, I think Sony still views themselves as a high-end electronics manufacturer and will have no problems making the $499 model as the base unit.  That's why they always push to have the 'on-paper' tech advantage over their competitors so they can justify the cost.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

goddammit I only have like 3 weeks left of relevancy for http://yearofps3.com

[hampster]

Price will be the last thing either company announces. It probably won't even be announced at E3, my money is on an October event where they announce the price prior to November or December launches

I'm sure they will fiddle with what download codes to include and other random stuff to maximize perceived value right up until the boxes are being packaged.

[Cerveza mas fina]

2014 for Europe your number 1 region? Fuck you Sony.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

goddammit I only have like 3 weeks left of relevancy for http://yearofps3.com

just registered http://yearofps4.com/

troll redirect suggestions welcome

[Cerveza mas fina]

Fuckfuckfuck

[Raban]

goddammit I only have like 3 weeks left of relevancy for http://yearofps3.com

just registered http://yearofps4.com/

troll redirect suggestions welcome

seethefuture.com

[Cerveza mas fina]

Fuckitdifuckfuck

[Cerveza mas fina]

This is really some dumb ass shit sony.

How did I ever work for uuuu

[Human Snorenado]

Where is your God now, Borys?

[Cerveza mas fina]

SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO SONY

ITS OVER

[Cerveza mas fina]

and yet, Europe will still be there, waiting by the door for Sony, holding its pipe and slippers for when Sony barges in late, reeking of cheap American whores

USA
Europe

 

  :'(

[maxy]

Nothing really.In about 20 days you will see PS4.

In the meantime

As part of a playful experiment conducted in South Korea, a Coca-Cola vending machine coaxed people to copy the dance moves of the country’s popular boy band 2 PM, in order to score free soft drinks.

Thanks to Microsoft Kinect technology, the machine registers what the dancers do — and the more moves they copy correctly, the more Cokes the machine doles out.

http://www.coca-colacompany.com/stories/coca-cola-vending-machine-gets-people-to-bust-a-move