Game Of Thrones Season 5 thread of windy words

[bluemax]

I certainly liked reading the first three Wheel of Time books better than I liked reading the first three Song of Ice and Fire books.

Wheel of Time is heroic journey / high fantasy.  That's more my cup of tea than dark and crapsack with a healthy portion of Machiavellian antics.

I would recommend either series.  Both series do eventually go off the rails, and I would warn folks of that fact beforehand.

You can take the first three Wheel books as a standalone trilogy and they'd still be a good story with clear acts and a resolution.

When I was done reading the first 3 Song books, I was just struck by how we had a lot of dead Lannisters and Starks and very little movement towards the ice monster necromancy problem.

You could make damn good fantasy action films out of Wheel of Time,  and I hope that happens someday.

Well the first book of WoT is basically a straight up rip off of the first Lord of the Rings book, so there is that.

Only later did Robert Jordan branch off and explore his fascination with braids.

*sniffs and tugs on braid*

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I used to have a link to a google doc with something like this for ASOIAF but it was mostly showing how GURM had fallen in love with certain dumb phrases or stupid made up words like nuncle.

Found it: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Azm03TR7IILviMlypYZ_nIARzp7lISzf9EC7yNzOD4w/edit?hl=en_US but I guess you need permission to see how he went from never using the word whilst to using it hundreds of times in book 4. Or how he upped the number of instances of the word cunt as he went along. Or you can view the forum I found it on: http://www.iswintercoming.com/the-grossening-of-asoiaf-t411-30.html

[fizzel]

This show has gone down the shitter faster than HMS Hood. All it needs now is a guest appearance from Kevin Sorbo. How a program can go from the battle of blackwater, the wall and that big bitch brienne twatting the hound... To the sandsloots and castrati i'll never know.

As for the rape; aye, shit is just torture porn at this point. something for GAFFers with sansa avatars to tug one out to.

[I'm a Puppy!]

I remember reading the first 4 books of Jordan's series.
Or was it 5 books? I got the part where the guy is all emo because of his power and all that and I was like "No thanks."
Honestly, I do have interest in going back and possibly seeing what happens. I loved the first book, it was wonderful the next two were less so. The 4th or 5th, no way.
But while I'd like to get into it again, I don't know if I really have the desire to go through the bad books to get to the good ones.

[Phoenix Dark]

The Gormenghast books are very good, for those into fantasy shit with scheming and plotting.

[studyguy]

WoT in essence is all light on prose heavy on descriptive text the same way Tolkien does. I blame the the times for just how it worked out initially. Dude should have had his wife on his back earlier, but the the same, prose in WoT is pretty shit. Then again so was the Tolkien prose which is why people were critical of his work too, but he still has solid books nonetheless. I just take it as some writers excel in certain ways better than others. Of the current crop Sanderson does fantastically in describing action sequences, but his shit feels like it's almost a fucking young adult book. Personally I've grown fond of Brian McCellan's Powder Mage series. That dude's doing solid work. Fleshed out characterizations, a vivid world, low fantasy but there's like an industrial boom of tech going on so while magic has its place it isn't the end all.

I like that series quite a bit though only on the second book.
Also too much discussion about non-ASOIF going on in here.
Lets get back on topic




My name is Obama Sand.

[Dickie Dee]

I held on to WoT way longer than most did, but one book just broke me. I forget which one it was, but it started out with a couple hundred pages of no-name female :ferengi characters sitting around each patting themselves on the back cause the just calmly proved they were the biggest alpha bitch in the camp. The plot being moved forward during this was them talking about a bowl. Some of the main characters drop in and out and do absolutely nothing for about another 500 pages. Then in the last chapter outtanowhwere Rand does something pretty pivotal to the series and I guess sorta cool

spoiler (click to show/hide)

when he cleanses the Taint

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[El Babua]

WoT in essence is all light on prose heavy on descriptive text the same way Tolkien does. I blame the the times for just how it worked out initially. Dude should have had his wife on his back earlier, but the the same, prose in WoT is pretty shit. Then again so was the Tolkien prose which is why people were critical of his work too, but he still has solid books nonetheless. I just take it as some writers excel in certain ways better than others. Of the current crop Sanderson does fantastically in describing action sequences, but his shit feels like it's almost a fucking young adult book. Personally I've grown fond of Brian McCellan's Powder Mage series. That dude's doing solid work. Fleshed out characterizations, a vivid world, low fantasy but there's like an industrial boom of tech going on so while magic has its place it isn't the end all.

I found Tolkein's prose to be better than Martin's in most instances. Agree with ya on the rest.

[Human Snorenado]

I held on to WoT way longer than most did, but one book just broke me. I forget which one it was, but it started out with a couple hundred pages of no-name female :ferengi characters sitting around each patting themselves on the back cause the just calmly proved they were the biggest alpha bitch in the camp. The plot being moved forward during this was them talking about a bowl. Some of the main characters drop in and out and do absolutely nothing for about another 500 pages. Then in the last chapter outtanowhwere Rand does something pretty pivotal to the series and I guess sorta cool

spoiler (click to show/hide)

when he cleanses the Taint

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That's the last one I read, too.

[Phoenix Dark]

Please move this conversation to the other thread.

[dkdk]

stupid ass Cersei 
hope she stays in there for the rest of the show.

[Barraco Barner]

[StealthFan]

Garbage? Nah. Shit is finally heating up.

[studyguy]

The fuck are they even doing in Dorne?


Sansa a victim again brehs


Convenient wolf saves the day

[Phoenix Dark]

Pretty good episode. Finally a return to actual intrigue and shadow politics instead of bullshit antics. I liked the heavy northern stuff at the beginning. Props to Alfie Allen for his great performances over the years, he really beings Reek to life.

Surprised at how they're slow walking the Jon stuff. BTW why isn't Ghost with Jon? I suppose he doesn't want to risk running into a warg in the wild.

And of course Stannis tha gawd. Not a fan of the changes to his army composition but whatever. I have a feeling I know where they're going story wise...and I hope I'm wrong.

King's Landing stuff was cool, although I do feel like they've made the Sparrows rather one note and fanatical. But obviously it's not like the show has the time to really go over that stuff. Cersei's arrest was pretty abrupt but overall I don't have major complaints outside of that gratuitous Sand Snakes scene...

[studyguy]

His wife is gonna end up burning his daughter or some shit. He's gonna end up getting pissed, fight and Brienne will enter the fray. Prob off fuck up Stannis somehow and accidentally shit everything up while Sansa bolts with Theon.

Meanwhile D&D finds more ways to force tits into Dorne.

[Phoenix Dark]

Yea that Dorne shit felt so...D&D. Sigh.

But hey, they got Tyrion to Dany which is an upgrade over the book, by far. I had no problem with Tyrion's journey but the timing of his arrival in Meereen was shitty IMO. If he has arrived halfway or even 3/4s through the book then that Dany arc would have been way better.

[Kara]

Finally some fucking betrayalatons this episode. Christ, I can't believe we were sucking the marrow out of Ma-Ma being jellie of her daughter-in-law for episodes upon episodes.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Tits were unnecessary,  but they were nice though

[Human Snorenado]

Episode was ok aside from the continued stupidity that is Dorne and the showrunners amazingly idiotic insistence at using rape, implied rape, and sexual assault as a plot device.

Worse, the past two episodes you could easily make the argument that the two incidents (Sansa and Gilly) weren't even used to develop THEIR characters, but to highlight the awfulness of what's happened to Theon/Reek and so Sam could lose his virginity.

Cersei finally getting her comeuppance tho



The actor they cast to play the High Sparrow has done a great job.

[Phoenix Dark]

Getting Tyrion to Dany like this was great. I'd imagine everyone wanted or expected that to happen in ADWD. TV wise it will make Dany's arc more interesting in the show and provide her another adviser now that Barristan is gone.

This is definitely one of the few cases of the show improving the nom IMO. Hard to argue against this, Walrus.

[Human Snorenado]

Tyrion and Dany's stuff in ADWD was so godawful that even these perpetual middle school aged showrunners have been able to improve on it

[Kara]

Tits were unnecessary,  but they were nice though

They were necessary to the biggest betrayalaton in the episode--Bronn betraying his sense of aesthetics to live.

[Tasty]

I believe they said it was the prelims or whatever, not the "real" fighting pits.

[Phoenix Dark]

I believe they said it was the prelims or whatever, not the "real" fighting pits.

Yea it was like the NBA Eastern Conference Finals

[Phoenix Dark]

Brehs, S6 casting info is out.
http://watchersonthewall.com/game-of-thrones-season-6-casting-has-begun-and-heres-the-list/

Gentlemen, what we have been waiting for:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Pirate,  man in his 40’s to late 50’s. He’s “an infamous pirate who has terrorized seas all around the world. Cunning, ruthless, with a touch of madness.”

He’s a dangerous-looking man. A very good part this season.

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Contra

also

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Father. Aged 50’s to 60’s, he’s one of the greatest soldiers in Westeros- a humorless martinet, severe and intimidating. He demands martial discipline in the field and in his home. It’s described as “a very good part” for next year and that he’s “centrally involved” in a protagonist’s storyline.

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ADWD/minor TWOW speculation

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Randyl Tarly no doubt. Will be interesting what he does in the show, given the changes. In the books I'd bet money that he'll betray the Tyrells and ally with fAegon/Connington early in TWOW. His comments in the epilogue really struck me as suspicious. And now he's leading a large army to confront Aegon. I think he'll want to parlay with Connington first, just to confirm he's actually Connington; they fought together during Robert's Rebellion. At that point I expect him to switch sides. That Golden Company comment about having "friends in the Reach" is probably about the Tarlys...

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Also the casting of the three young boys sounds like

spoiler (click to show/hide)

a flashback of Robert, Ned, and Benjen. Probably a scene of Robert meeting Lyanna for the first time?

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[I'm a Puppy!]

OK, let's speculate on what happens between now and the season finale:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sansa
- gets Brienne to come help somehow.
- Sansa kills Walda Frey
- Theon snaps and kills Ramsay (dies in the process thereby redeeming his character in the typical D&D hamfisted way)
- Brienne kills Roose
- Bolton line is ended

Stannis:
- His wife kills his daughter
- Stannis kills wife
- Melisandre kills Stannis for his "kings blood"

Jon Snow:
- Goes to the wildlings. They wont follow. A White Walker attack convinces them otherwise.
- Jon gets in a fight with a white walker and kills it with Sam's Dragon glass
- Gets back to the Wall. Ends with being stabbed in the back

Sam:
- Runs away south with Gilly to take her to his dad

Arya:
Probably one more seen or her doing a few assassinations
Ends season with her going blind

Kelly C:
- Gets to the scene in the fighting pits
- Jorah dies trying to defend her (again redeeming his character in the typical D&D way)
- Tyrion goes into hiding
- Ends season with her being taken by Drogon

Varys:
- Dunno

Little Finger:
- Dunno

Jamie:
- Decides to stay in Dorne to bond with his daughter. Might conspire with Doran
- Bronn Stays in Dorne

Cersei:
- Has her walk of shame
- Saved by Robert Strong

Margery:
- Dunno
Bran:
Not seen

Rickon:
LOL

[close]

[Steve Contra]

Best episode maybe all season?  Fixed what was probably the biggest problem with the books (Tyrion and Dany not really doing much), Jonathon Pryce killed it as usual, Stannis doing his thing.  Aemon   The one I part I had a huge problem was (book spoilers):

spoiler (click to show/hide)

In the books when Gilly and Sam finally get together it's such a sweet moment, Aemon has just died and Sam is bereft when the summer islanders tell him what's up. Instead we get an attempted rape

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[Steve Contra]

Also from the casting descriptions:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I bet they fold Victarion and Euron into a single character.  Named Euron Crow's Eye of course

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[Phoenix Dark]

"Egg, I dreamed I was old"


BTW if you guys haven't checked out the Dunk & Egg novellas do so. Really cool take on classic fantasy with a stripped down, more personal story. They're hard to (legally) find and luckily a compilation book is coming out soonish.
http://www.amazon.com/Knight-Seven-Kingdoms-Song-Fire/dp/0345533488
(I wish they'd hold off a few years for Martin to add new stories but cash rules, as Meth would say. At least it'll have amazing artwork).

Agreed on Pryce. IMO the show is at its best when a few great actors are in a room. We got lots of that over the years with Tywin especially, but less so this year. The dialogue was especially nice, especially the thing about creaky knees and hips.

[Steve Contra]

The Cersei stuff has been great considering how much of the political machinations they had to cut out to get to that point.  I wish they did that with Dorne

[studyguy]

Best episode maybe all season?  Fixed what was probably the biggest problem with the books (Tyrion and Dany not really doing much), Jonathon Pryce killed it as usual, Stannis doing his thing.  Aemon   The one I part I had a huge problem was (book spoilers):

spoiler (click to show/hide)

In the books when Gilly and Sam finally get together it's such a sweet moment, Aemon has just died and Sam is bereft when the summer islanders tell him what's up. Instead we get an attempted rape

[close]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's not rape, it's HBO!

[close]

[king of the internet]

After watching the full run of Oz I'm pretty much all desensitized to on screen rape...

[Kara]

Despite being called a bunch of murderers and rapists frequently in the show and repeatedly raping women beyond the wall during a storyline, it's important that you actually see some men of the Night's Watch attempt to rape someone because reasons. #notallmen

[Mandark]

It's the classic maxim of visual storytelling: show, don't tell.  And if you have to tell, then tell in a brothel.

[I'm a Puppy!]

There's gotta be something in Dorne. It'd be too stupid to include it otherwise.

[fistfulofmetal]

The compression of time is really fucking with me considering the great distances that are being traversed by characters and the time it takes to do it and the fact that there's a goddamn baby up at The Wall that clearly isn't aging all that much.

[jakefromstatefarm]

the fact that there's a goddamn baby up at The Wall that clearly isn't aging all that much.

oh wow, I legit never thought about this

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Phoenix Dark]

http://www.thecoli.com/posts/13587727/


not obarth but it'll do 

[I'm a Puppy!]

Simperman

[Human Snorenado]

Sir Jorrah of the friendzone lit up like a kid on Christmas morning when he heard the word Queen, he ain't even know if they were talking about a queen mattress, queen ants, or whatever.

[toku]

No lies about Bronn. I really hope he makes it and the last scene of the show is him chilling having become some small lord.

[studyguy]

Bronn's too likable and not significant enough to keep alive.
His number's been called once already to fake you out. It's coming, you know it.

[Kara]

You going to keep staning for Stannis after he barbecues his kid, PD?

[Human Snorenado]

Preview for next week makes me think that

Extreme speculation:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Jorah is getting executed.

[close]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

From everything we can tell, the fighting pits are episode 9, and I think he lives to those at least

[close]

[Phoenix Dark]

You going to keep staning for Stannis after he barbecues his kid, PD?

Not if it's well done.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

#dualities

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[Tasty]

Last scene was some amazing direction and one of my favorite sequences in the series. 

Jon Fucking Snow

[AdmiralViscen]

They were saving all their choreography for this episode

[Phoenix Dark]

the giant is the real MVP tho

[Tasty]

So glad he made it out. Bro-giant. 

I fully expected that woman to die. So predictable.

[toku]

For all the show's failings as..a show and adaptation I'm not gonna sit here and pretend Jon Snow blocking with Valyrian Steel and then shattering that nicca didn't get me hyped as fuck.

So glad he made it out. Bro-giant. 

I fully expected that woman to die. So predictable.

I thought she was safe but then she loaded her daughters in the boat and knew she was dead. RIP free folk waifu.

Sidenote for PD book spoilers

spoiler (click to show/hide)

How you think they're gonna work the Jon back stab shit in for these final two eps?

[close]

[Phoenix Dark]

Wow that Hardholme shit was the best thing the show has done in awhile. The Others being on the mountain on some Four Horsemen shit, wow.

Honestly I thought the Tyrion/Dany stuff was whatever. Clarke remains a poor actress, but the bigger issue to me was that the conversation wasn't interesting. Dany presumably has very little info on what has happened in Westeros over the last few years, outside of headlines ("Robert is dead"). I had hoped the conversation would be a bit more engaging, although I did like Tyrion's confidence.

The Arya scenes were good. Nice to see her outside for a change.

Toku:

ADWD

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yes. They've been telegraphing all season that Ollie will be one of the betrayers. I'm just curious whether Thorne will be too. I'd guess it'll happen in episode 10. Perhaps Stannis will die in episode 9, Jon will get stabbed in episode 10. Melisandre will try to revive Stannis by sacrificing Shireen, pray for the savior to arise...and Jon will open his eyes. Fade to black.

[close]

[dkdk]

i thought they were gonna turn that big ass giant 

[Tasty]

why did I read PD's spoiler lol

[toku]

why did I read PD's spoiler lol

tfw you realize that life is hopeless and nothing matters.

[Human Snorenado]

Wow, stuff like that kinda makes you forget that they've pretty much fucked up a lot of stuff this season. Killer episode all the way around I thought.

Dat moment when the zombies stampeded over the cliff and then got back up.

[Tasty]

No lie, when the mist started to roll in or whatever my heart was beating so fucking fast and my adrenaline was at almost max. Very very VERY few shows/movies have ever done that for me.

D&D

[Human Snorenado]

Also, that whole sequence just really goes to prove that Walking Dead is some fucking kindergarten shit

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

The whole episode was great but my god that battle in the last half was seriously the best thing that's ever come out of this show. Fucking incredible.

Almost makes up for the Dorne high school drama production going on elsewhere.....almost.

[Beezy]

That reminds me, Dorne wasn't in this episode at all.

[StealthFan]

Winter came and so did I