Did you actually dodge this bullet just by being in th' Nihonz? I still get long-ass Skype calls where I'm asked to troubleshoot a computer that I can't even see. It's remarkable. If it worked for you teaching me some of that scandinavian standoffishness so I can implement those protocols.
Oh no, I had those Skype conversations a lot the first years after I moved, but the trick is to pretend you don't have time to Skype long. I guess having a baby helped, because they realized I wasn't able to do 1 hour long Skype conversations anymore. Sometimes I'd just say "That sounds like a problem I won't be able to fix from here.. you should get someone local to look at it." I know my dad knows I'm full of shit when I'm saying it though (he thinks I'm a computer wizard since I can always fix his problems (because they're so minor)). 
Now they mostly wait until I'm there in person to ask. It seems like they've finally started feeling bad for asking me. Sometimes they admit they've had the problem for months but "didn't wanna bother me" about it. For instance my sister upgraded their internet to fiber, and she lived 3-4 months bottlenecked because she was waiting for me to get there so I could install their new router/equipment.
So… the answer is for me to have another child?! I CAN'T WIN!
My last incidence of this was for my Mom, who had initiated an utterly debilitating self-kill by "not wanting to bother me." She decided she wanted to be able to do email when traveling, and planned to use the public computers in hotels or internet cafés to do so.* She called her internet provider to ask how to do this, and they told her that all she needed to do was use the webmail login from any browser, by entering her email and password; when she told them she didn't know her password** they offered to change it for her on their server. She accepted.
Of course, a person who can't remember their own password and can't figure out how to access the webmail page is ALSO unlikely to be aware that changing the password on the provider's end DOES NOT change the matching password on the local computer trying to access the provider's servers.***
It took two hours for me to fix, including 30-40 minutes of having her ISP on Google Hangouts international free phone call while she was on Facetime. I encouraged her to ask me for help before drastically changing any other settings in her computing environment.
* I have since warned her off from ever, ever doing this. Ever.
** It's written down for her on a piece of paper which is taped to her wall at her home. Yes, I know this is very bad security. It just seemed like the only way she'd ever remember her password, except that she didn't.
*** And, of course, my mom trying to describe what she'd done without having any of the technical terms to describe not just what she'd done, but even what she's looking at onscreen: menu bar vs. Dock, browser window vs. Finder window, etc.
