Struggle Thread mk II - No one likes us, we don't care

[chronovore]

Lol timeshares are the worst

They are, right? My mom and stepdad had like four or five of them, couldn't use them consistently, offered the time to my sister… In the end, I think she paid an exorbitant amount of money to get out of the contract. Two companies, actually, worked on it. The first one didn't guarantee getting her out, and it didn't.

Another friend just quit paying the monthly fee, and assumed it was some kind of forfeit. I'd think that'd wreck their credit, but it worked out for them.

The kicker was, even with the "sale" of the timeshare closing, the management firm offered to give her another two weeks at a sharp discount… and SHE TOOK IT. Then she gave it to my sister.

There's so much WTF going on, that I don't know WTF is going on.

[chronovore]

Sure Im the bad guy after saying one thing then being called a cunt 

Never said anything bad about your transitioning either but whatevs.

Lager, I'm going to wade in here and be popular with NO-ONE, because I'm well on my way to being the embarrassingly out-of-touch grandpa who says politically insensitive shit at the restaurant when he's out with his family, because he hasn't managed to keep up with trending acceptable social behavior. My grandparents talked about how the latinos were all criminals. In a normal speaking voice. AT A MEXICAN RESTAURANT. Jesus. I'm seriously worried I'll be that same guy in 20 years, saying "There was a time when people couldn't marry their chatbot moe hug-pillows," and people will give me the side-eye.

Here's the deal: We're all free to say whatever we want here, and suffer the repercussions from it. Not banning, but being ostracized and called out are part of that. Your comments involved birth sex and gender, and as a cis white male, they come off as insensitive and socially inappropriate in this board's culture. You have an opinion, I suspect it's not the result of experience or even a good amount of research. QoI has been living it, and I can't imagine it has been easy.

However, Queen has a long history of impassioned, strongly held, sometimes ill-informed, and ultimately brief opinions. If you're doubting the longevity of her vehemence, generally I'd have your back. Initially I thought her transitioning was a phase. I thought she'd change her mind. She didn't, and she's clearly suffering when thwarted from sticking with her transition program.

Let me put it another way: When a friend of mine got his wife pregnant, he said, "Hey, now I'm a Dad, too!" I felt like a dick, but I told him, "Not yet, you're not. You've got a few months ahead of you of peace and quiet. When your kid is born, you'll be a dad, don't rush things."

The friend was seriously pissed off that I was diminishing his role or stature or whatever. Then his kid was born, and he came back and said, "You were right. I was really angry at the time, but you were really fucking right." As a dad, I'm sure you also understand this example.

Queen is going through shit most of us can't fully grasp. Assuming that we know what it's like is a mistake.

[Himu]

nevermind

[Valkyrie]

Great episode

[Cerveza mas fina]

Sure Im the bad guy after saying one thing then being called a cunt 

Never said anything bad about your transitioning either but whatevs.

Lager, I'm going to wade in here and be popular with NO-ONE, because I'm well on my way to being the embarrassingly out-of-touch grandpa who says politically insensitive shit at the restaurant when he's out with his family, because he hasn't managed to keep up with trending acceptable social behavior. My grandparents talked about how the latinos were all criminals. In a normal speaking voice. AT A MEXICAN RESTAURANT. Jesus. I'm seriously worried I'll be that same guy in 20 years, saying "There was a time when people couldn't marry their chatbot moe hug-pillows," and people will give me the side-eye.

Here's the deal: We're all free to say whatever we want here, and suffer the repercussions from it. Not banning, but being ostracized and called out are part of that. Your comments involved birth sex and gender, and as a cis white male, they come off as insensitive and socially inappropriate in this board's culture. You have an opinion, I suspect it's not the result of experience or even a good amount of research. QoI has been living it, and I can't imagine it has been easy.

However, Queen has a long history of impassioned, strongly held, sometimes ill-informed, and ultimately brief opinions. If you're doubting the longevity of her vehemence, generally I'd have your back. Initially I thought her transitioning was a phase. I thought she'd change her mind. She didn't, and she's clearly suffering when thwarted from sticking with her transition program.

Let me put it another way: When a friend of mine got his wife pregnant, he said, "Hey, now I'm a Dad, too!" I felt like a dick, but I told him, "Not yet, you're not. You've got a few months ahead of you of peace and quiet. When your kid is born, you'll be a dad, don't rush things."

The friend was seriously pissed off that I was diminishing his role or stature or whatever. Then his kid was born, and he came back and said, "You were right. I was really angry at the time, but you were really fucking right." As a dad, I'm sure you also understand this example.

Queen is going through shit most of us can't fully grasp. Assuming that we know what it's like is a mistake.

Fair enough. I don't know what Himu is going through. I don't doubt the transition is just another phase, it seems legit and long term of course and I never made fun of it. In fact i hope it all works out perfectly as I have said on numerous occasions.

I don't assume I know how Himu feels though, I just state my opinion, and I didn't know that I was so privileged I am not entitled to state it without being attacked, even if the opinion may seem provocative, but seen in a normal light outside of the microcosm of the bore saying that being woman by birth or by choice is a huge fucking difference is not controversial AT ALL.

TBF this is always the case on the Bore for me so I'm used to it after almost a decade now ( I guess its almost a self fulfilling prophecy now? since nothing I say ever changes it) . First I was considered a racist, then a pedo supporter and now apparently the new thing is cis privileged white male gamergater (sony fanboy ofc as well and prob gay basher).

[fistfulofmetal]

if different people, over a long period of time, continue to attribute negative adjectives to your character... maybe that speaks more about you than seem to realize.

[zomgee]

Let's take a step back, fuck breath.

Apropos of nothing please put this in the newsfeed.

[Cerveza mas fina]

deep

lot of these people seem to be losers irl, maybe something to think about

[mormapope]

I've had a really rough year emotionally and mentally. Been having constant suicidal thoughts, thinking sad or terrible shit constantly. Been crying every other day just about. Weed and other drugs help a lot less than they used too.

Been depending on my best friend, tell her how I'm feeling constantly. I love her so much, that dependency makes me feel guilty and selfish as fuck. Feel like if I don't have her in my life, I'd kill myself.

[Madrun Badrun]

Almost had my depth oral cancelled this morning - Still tomorrow just moved up a half hour.  Anxiety is killing me.

[Himu]

I've had a really rough year emotionally and mentally. Been having constant suicidal thoughts, thinking sad or terrible shit constantly. Been crying every other day just about. Weed and other drugs help a lot less than they used too.

Been depending on my best friend, tell her how I'm feeling constantly. I love her so much, that dependency makes me feel guilty and selfish as fuck. Feel like if I don't have her in my life, I'd kill myself.

What's going on?

[CatsCatsCats]

Sending love, mormapope

[FatalT]

deep

lot of these people seem to be losers irl, maybe something to think about

Who are the "lot of these people" you're talking about?

[Rahxephon91]

My best friend/brother is going to be deployed to Iraq. I don't know the current situation in Iraq. While I'm sure it's no picnic and is still an active war zone, I don't think it's as dangerous as it was in the early years of the war. Or rather I sure hope it is'nt.

He's going to be there for 6 months.

It does suck because even though he's been in the Air Force for a couple of years we pretty much talk every day and he's a constant in my life. So I hope nothing bad happens to him.

[Himu]

I'll pray for him, Rah. You too, Morma.

[demi]

I've had a really rough year emotionally and mentally. Been having constant suicidal thoughts, thinking sad or terrible shit constantly. Been crying every other day just about. Weed and other drugs help a lot less than they used too.

Been depending on my best friend, tell her how I'm feeling constantly. I love her so much, that dependency makes me feel guilty and selfish as fuck. Feel like if I don't have her in my life, I'd kill myself.

Send nudes and cheer me up instead

[chronovore]

Fair enough. I don't know what Himu is going through. I don't doubt the transition is just another phase, it seems legit and long term of course and I never made fun of it. In fact i hope it all works out perfectly as I have said on numerous occasions.

I don't assume I know how Himu feels though, I just state my opinion, and I didn't know that I was so privileged I am not entitled to state it without being attacked, even if the opinion may seem provocative, but seen in a normal light outside of the microcosm of the bore saying that being woman by birth or by choice is a huge fucking difference is not controversial AT ALL.

TBF this is always the case on the Bore for me so I'm used to it after almost a decade now ( I guess its almost a self fulfilling prophecy now? since nothing I say ever changes it) . First I was considered a racist, then a pedo supporter and now apparently the new thing is cis privileged white male gamergater (sony fanboy ofc as well and prob gay basher).

"Attacked"… Dude, from some perspectives, just dismissing QoI's struggle is considered an attack. You made a statement or three about someone else's experience, they strongly rebutted you, who the fuck cares?

I think you're a cheerful and generally honest guy who says what he thinks, and I'd happily grab a beer with you any day.

At the same time, you're also fond of trying to tickle the ass-hairs of some of the other bore members, and then acting shocked when there's a reaction. Again, you're on the bore, don't pretend to be surprised at an environment you've been navigating for ten years.

[chronovore]

I've had a really rough year emotionally and mentally. Been having constant suicidal thoughts, thinking sad or terrible shit constantly. Been crying every other day just about. Weed and other drugs help a lot less than they used too.

Been depending on my best friend, tell her how I'm feeling constantly. I love her so much, that dependency makes me feel guilty and selfish as fuck. Feel like if I don't have her in my life, I'd kill myself.

Dude, get professional help and stop trying to self-medicate!

[Himu]

I'm going to be honest, Lager.

You told me I was just suppressing my "natural" sex drive. I disagreed, corrected you, and told you that it did a complete change. I offered making an explanation. You didn't care about that perspective suggesting I was faking and I didn't know what I was talking about. That this was something I read about as opposed to what happened to my actual body. It was really disrespectful and I'm still utterly disappointed you said it. It really hurt my feelings. I decided to post what I wrote previously on the subject to hopefully curate empathy or understanding in you. You ignored that entire post. Then when I got mad, which is pretty reasonable given what you said to me, you decided to disrespect me and my religion. It was immature and again, just added fuel to fire. Your views were fine so long as you were able to present it in a respectful manner. But the second you were completely dismissive to the point where you argued it was something I just read about, even though my current plight makes me want to be castrated, was when I blew up. From my perspective you attacked me first. But more than that, you didn't care to learn or read about my perspective. At all. While insulting me at the same time. And that's why you are on ignore along with Jaydubya.

[agrajag]

The group of owners/investors of the small business I am a part of want to downsize our staff since we haven't been hitting the numbers we need to and summer/early fall is a really tough time for our industry. They want us to be closed for two days of the week, when we were open seven days a week before. This will make scheduling much easier, but I have to lay off five people from our team. Feels bad man. It's never fun firing someone, even when they deserve it. But when they don't it's so much worse. Fucking with people's livelihood feels terrible. That and there's looming uncertainty heading over all of our heads. If we don't do well this winter the whole thing will probably be closed down, and I might be in search of a job.

[agrajag]

Also, good luck in all your personal struggles, y'all. We'll all make it, hopefully. My first time venturing into this thread, I'm trying to branch out a bit besides just the GAF one.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I hate my job so much that I believe it is starting to get in the way of my work performance.  Since that bothers me more than the shitty job itself, I need to rectify this and finally just find an exit strategy.

[Himu]

Current status: disassociative

Tonight I looked in the mirror at work expecting to see woman I used to see before all of this started. I didn't. I didn't know who the person was, and had to stop myself from crying while at work. But I stayed strong and made it home ok. I will definitely be crying myself to sleep tonight. Oh wait, even that's hard because of no E.

[Cerveza mas fina]

If its worth anything Himu, sorry for hurting your feelings. I was way too grumpy and should have been more considerate, even if we differ on opinions I should have backed off.

[agrajag]

The work situation has been really weighing on me today. Had to say goodbye to two employees that have been with us for about a year. Had to mentally say good bye to two others who won't know they got laid off till tomorrow when the HR director calls them. Spent a lot of time talking to other guys who were in the trenches with me since the beginning that are feeling that our dream is about to come to an end.

Was listening to some songs on my commute back home and some emotional cord got pulled in me and I a few tears came out of my eyes. It's probably been years since I've cried, since emotional numbness is my usual state. Fuck.

[agrajag]

[TVC15]

I think I’m dying. Beenn having chest pains the past week. I don’t think it’s heartburn. Tonight a new wrinkle was added and I’m likenot getting enough air in each breath, forcing me to manually breathe and I can’t fall asleep like like. Going to the doctor if tomorrow night is as bad as this.

[Phoenix Dark]

I think I’m dying. Beenn having chest pains the past week. I don’t think it’s heartburn. Tonight a new wrinkle was added and I’m likenot getting enough air in each breath, forcing me to manually breathe and I can’t fall asleep like like. Going to the doctor if tomorrow night is as bad as this.

I told you to use a dental dam with that homeless woman.

[ToxicAdam]

I bet Xanax will cure all of that.

[Mr Gilhaney]

10 days ago I started itching like crazy at night, ended up not sleeping a few days in a row (like at all). Went to doctor and he notices yellow eyes. So been in the hospital for the last week now with some kind of liver and gallbladder infection that they can't figure out. Probably had fucking 50 blood tests done at this point and still nothing. Had full body scan that luckily showed no cancer, which I was scared shitless about. Tomorrow I need a liver biopsy... and well, that scared me like crazy as well. I never had anything done like that.

At least they let me out of the hospital for the day, which is nice. But this itching while having gotten slightly better, is still fucking horrible. I scratch my hands and especially feet to the point where they bleed in my sleep, if I dont get knocked out my sleeping meds. Something about gall bladder exporting its salts and shit (i dont know) through my skin instead of normal means. The meds I have can take some time to work for it they say.

Positive part is everyone seemed really fucking competent so far, especially the first doctor I went to nailed that shit instantly, and has kept personal contact with me through text messages. But man, I am so fucking scared. Everything they have possibly thought it might have been so far, has turned out to be false.

[Madrun Badrun]

Hope you're OK dude.

[Raist]

Tomorrow I need a liver biopsy... and well, that scared me like crazy as well. I never had anything done like that.

Most likely they'll just poke you with a small needle. Nothing to worry about.

[chronovore]

Good grief, Gilhaney. Hope you have answers and feel better soon.

Are you still living in Asia? I'm happy to hear your doctors have been on the ball.

[eleuin]

Twitter extended the character limit to 280 

[Valkyrie]

Twitter extended the character limit to 280 

Why the fuck

[Raist]

Trump won. Bigly.

[Cerveza mas fina]

Boss told me to make less jokes 

[VomKriege]

The work situation has been really weighing on me today. Had to say goodbye to two employees that have been with us for about a year. Had to mentally say good bye to two others who won't know they got laid off till tomorrow when the HR director calls them. Spent a lot of time talking to other guys who were in the trenches with me since the beginning that are feeling that our dream is about to come to an end.

Was listening to some songs on my commute back home and some emotional cord got pulled in me and I a few tears came out of my eyes. It's probably been years since I've cried, since emotional numbness is my usual state. Fuck.

Yeah it's a bit sad when a good workplace unravels like that. AFAIK it's fairly rare the mood ever get fixed once it's broken.

[Freyj]

Yeah it's a bit sad when a good workplace unravels like that. AFAIK it's fairly rare the mood ever get fixed once it's broken.

I can attest to that. A year or two ago if you’d asked me I’d have told I’d never leave my current position. It was basically hanging around with friends all day while making awesome things. Flash forward a few months and almost everyone that made it what it was is gone and I’m beginning a very long job search with some serious mishaps along the way.

What really sucks is all of this was completely avoidable. The owner of the company (20-30 people) had a midlife crisis, fucked a 20 y/o on one of many extravagant “business trips” (read: vacations, golf outings with celebrity clients that we did work for for free to get “in”) while his wife was preggers, left the company in the charge of the most inept people I’ve ever worked with leading to many lucrative clients leaving and several late paychecks, then paid for a box at the Super Bowl for his friends and some Trump inauguration scam before telling us there was no money for bonuses this year as “we” weren’t efficient enough.

[Cerveza mas fina]

wow

[agrajag]

The work situation has been really weighing on me today. Had to say goodbye to two employees that have been with us for about a year. Had to mentally say good bye to two others who won't know they got laid off till tomorrow when the HR director calls them. Spent a lot of time talking to other guys who were in the trenches with me since the beginning that are feeling that our dream is about to come to an end.

Was listening to some songs on my commute back home and some emotional cord got pulled in me and I a few tears came out of my eyes. It's probably been years since I've cried, since emotional numbness is my usual state. Fuck.

Yeah it's a bit sad when a good workplace unravels like that. AFAIK it's fairly rare the mood ever get fixed once it's broken.

Yeah, we have these new consultants, and no offense Vom, but they are a couple of French assholes! It's pretty much a hostile takeover, as the inventors who hired me and my boss pulled out and my boss put in his resignation and I'm stuck with these guys. They're making all sorts of cuts and changes, and the business is probably not going to make it more than a few months, they'll probably dissolve it and eat the losses. Even though they're assuring everyone that they want it to thrive 

[VomKriege]

None taken.
Yeah I've been there too with one of my employer essentially being run by an audit firm for several months and the consultants abruptly pulling out days before the announcement it was gonna be partially liquidated.

Audit is a pretty sweet gig too. Get paid millions to ultimately throw your hands up in the air and say companies they're fucked anyway.

[tiesto]

Went to the doctor for the first time in years, found out I have reflux and both a vitamin B12 and D deficiency. The D one kinda makes sense, since me and the sun are not friends.

[Mr Gilhaney]

Hope you're OK dude.

Thanks breh.

They let me out until sometime next week. When they are done looking at the liver biopsy they want to me to go to some further away hospital with liver specialists. Still kind of scared shitless, but at least the biopsy itself wasn't that bad. This itching really is though. Also got new meds for that, so hopefully it should temp fix that...

[Raist]

Hope you're OK dude.

Thanks breh.

They let me out until sometime next week. When they are done looking at the liver biopsy they want to me to go to some further away hospital with liver specialists. Still kind of scared shitless, but at least the biopsy itself wasn't that bad. This itching really is though. Also got new meds for that, so hopefully it should temp fix that...

Did they check for gallstones? I mean this all sounds like textbook cholestasis.

[Mr Gilhaney]

Yeah they did. Although they also thought it was unlikely since I had no pains. Got ultra sound, CT scan, Biopsy and about 100 fucking blood tests (alright might be closer to 50, but they are draining me).

Being home feels good though. Fucking hate staying at hospitals.

[Tasty]

D deficiency.

I know that feel breh.

[Raist]

Yeah they did. Although they also thought it was unlikely since I had no pains. Got ultra sound, CT scan, Biopsy and about 100 fucking blood tests (alright might be closer to 50, but they are draining me).

Being home feels good though. Fucking hate staying at hospitals.

 

Well hopefully they figure it out soon. Biopsy should help.

[Valkyrie]

Good luck, Gilhaney, I hope you'll get better and things work out the way you want. We're here for you!

[Himu]

Currently state: severe, myopic depression.

I'm currently at the doctor for labs. There are two options only. If I leave the clinic with hormones, I live; if I don't leave with hormones, I die. Pharmacy is right down stairs so it makes it easy. The odds are exactly 50-50. There's a gun at home so it'll be easy to accomplish.

[Atramental]

Jesus Christ, Queen.

Call someone that you know right now, tell them to get into your house and take that gun away from you.

Or better yet, don't go to your house. Stay someplace that is safe.

[brawndolicious]

What are they looking for in your lab results?

[Himu]

It's a blood test. Standard procedure.

[Tasty]

Yeah Queen, that's messed up. Even if you can't get hormones now there's always the future. What about your animation dream?

No matter the results, you should call 1-800-273-8255 as soon as possible, or go here.

Worried about you. The world would be a lot suckier without ya.

[brawndolicious]

So I googled and it sounds like they check for two things. Your overall liver health and the level of estradiol or the level of testosterone and they try to set a goal for one of those to match the gender you're transitioning to while making sure your body is adjusting to it.

So as long as your healthy and nothing unexpected shows up it sounds good. I believe you considered self medication with some Mexican drug and if you did I would just disclose that if it looks like it will affect your results. It seems to be pretty common in the TG community so I doubt you would get too much finger-wagging.

Also it would be awesome if you could let a friend borrow your gun until you restart HRT. A lot of your frustration is over temporary issues. During my most depressed points in life, I would haven you gun completely disassembled so if I wanted to go all private Pyle on myself, I'd lose interest by the time I put it all together and would rather clean it or do other such housekeeping.

[Himu]

The cost of my hormones is 30 dollars. I get to live!

[Himu]

Lab test had nothing to do with anything brawn. Had to do with cost. Takes days for test results to come out. Went to pharmacy last night and it cost me over 100 dollars which I couldn't pay. So I transferred the rx to my clinic. If I couldn't afford it I was going to kill myself.

The medicine I was considering self medding wasn't Mexican. I order from Asia. I suggested that med to my doctor last night and we are going to look into it but first need my hormone levels stabilized.

[nachobro]

Glad you are okay

[agrajag]

Please get rid of the gun.

[Himu]

No. I'm fine when I'm on hormones.