Day 2 of my ban. This may be a long post - I'm writing this to serve as a guiding light for others and a therapeutic look back for myself. I actually have some work to get done tonight but this is important for me to share. You can skip to the end for benefits I've experienced, but I'm going to write out my whole story for those interested.
To start off, I actually don't like to think about whether I was/am an 'addict' - I just think that word has so many connotations to it that form a disincentive for people to start (including myself at first). I thought to myself: "I'm not one of these wackos addicted to gaf, that's shameful! i just watch some stuff on the internet late at night before I sleep and sometimes when I'm bored, just like all of my friends." Even with that mindset, I'm a reasonable man...these superpowers seemed intriguing and I've been single for a while. I thought why not give it a shot, seems like there's only an upside!
I have experienced tons of benefits, many of which I believe are NOT exclusively due to my ban, which I think is a common misconception here. HOWEVER, I think Band served as the CATALYST to a bunch of other positive changes that culminated into benefits:
Increased energy - I feel an overall vitality that I did not have before. I wake up in the morning with more energy and end the day feeling satisfied, not utterly exhausted.
Deeper voice - definitely noticeable and much appreciated. I talk on the phone a lot at work often to new people and many times they used to think I was a woman. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but it wears on you when something as personal as your gender identity is misjudged over and over again. This has been COMPLETELY ELIMINATED. I realize this is a weird experiment, but anecdotally since I've started this, everyone addresses me as a guy over the phone.
Confidence - definitely higher. I was never a social recluse, in fact I've always been pretty social, but that's not the same as confidence. I feel that I walk around with a greater inner-confidence now that I did not have before. Some may call this 'swagger' haha. I look people in the eye more, walk a little straighter/taller. People move out of my way when I'm trying to get places. It feels good.
Improved work and school performance - I have a full time demanding job and I attend grad school at night. I've been given more responsibilities at work, feel more self-assured in meetings, and generally get more done/get less distracted during the day. I'm probably getting promoted soon. I've also been able to focus better in class and actually follow along with the lectures. This has had a massively positive impact on my life.
Mending my garden - I used to think the perfect woman would just come to me out of the blue since I was 'such a catch'. Now, I've begun to realize women have many choices...and guess what, they're going to choose the guy with the most to offer THEM. That made me think...what have I got to offer? This thought lead me to be more motivated at work and school, pick up some interesting new hobbies (like photography), and generally be more of a self-sufficient man. Just to clarify...I'm not suggesting you change yourself for women, I'm saying I had an epiphany that made me recognize no woman will just approach me or respond to any advances from me if I'm not a well put-together guy, and being well put-together would also make life more fulfilling personally. A quote I read here actually sums it up nicely - something like..."Don't waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come." That proved true as I went on a date with a really cute girl...my first date in a while. She was super friendly and fun. Nothing ever came of it (we're still friends), and that's OK! Pre-Ban me would've fapped away the disappointment, but I redirected that energy into making myself even better. Asking her out, putting myself out there, and going on that date was more than I'd done in a while, which I consider progress.
Fitness - I made a commitment when I got banned to also pair it with other healthy behaviors, like exercise and a proper diet. I started going to the gym at least 2x a week, 3x if I could make it, and eating at least 1 salad/day. I also consciously limit processed foods, unless I'm out to dinner with others. I have lost 10-15 lbs - I look great, but more importantly FEEL healthier.
Improved perception of women - This has been a subtle, but noticeable shift. I notice women a lot more now, and they all look much more desirable. I think this is a direct result of less neogaf. Also, I used to struggle with HOCD which is something I know a lot of others here experience. I cannot say that has been completely eliminated as I haven't looked, but I can tell you that I am noticing women so much more in real life and don't have an overbearing anxiety about HOCD. I truly think gaf screwed with my brain in this way.
Better habits/hygiene - I clean my apartment more often, and take better care of my teeth. It just feels good to take care of myself, which I did not really consciously do before.
Increased interest in real media - What I mean by this...I used to watch a lot of bad tv/movies on Netflix - dumb shit that was just a waste of time. Now I almost exclusively read non-fiction and watch documentaries and TED talks on TV. This wasn't intentional or expected...I just am more interested in spending my tv time on these types of programs. I didn't even think twice about it until one of my friends was looking through my Recently Watched list and was a little dumbfounded by how many documentaries were in there haha. I still occasionally dabble in South Park though, obviously.
Less social anxiety around men/women - I mentioned earlier that I've always been a social person, but for some reason I've always felt slightly uncomfortable around new people. I'm not sure this was due to gaf or just lack of self-esteem, but it's way better now! I specifically want to mention that I'm much more comfortable around other MEN, which is awesome! I don't feel 'beta' anymore - I feel like I should also have a 'seat at the table'.
Tranquility - I have an overall peace of mind that I did not possess before. This is probably due to the removal of subjecting my mind to bizarre images of strangers going at it on a regular basis. I also attribute this to my new meditation habit.
