Corona Thread |OT| Nu variant, who dis?

[I'm a Puppy!]

WFH people, how often do you go out for groceries? I try to keep it at less than once per 2 weeks, but i'm tempted to go more than that when some superficial shit runs dry. 

I got kids and wanted to keep up once every 2 weeks but that’s just not possible with kids and milk so once a week for me

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/jc_bradbury/status/1246838548856266754

[Leadbelly]

Don't worry people, the coronavirus will be over shortly:

Coronavirus: Tech firms summoned over 'crackpot' 5G conspiracies
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-52172570

Oliver Dowden plans to hold virtual meetings with representatives from several tech firms next week to discuss the matter.

It follows a number of 5G masts apparently being set on fire.

The issue will test the companies' commitments to free speech.

Earlier in the week, blazes were reported at masts in Birmingham, Liverpool and Melling in Merseyside.

A spokesman for Vodafone's mobile network told the BBC there had been a total of four further incidents over the past 24 hours at both its own sites and those shared with O2, but did not identify the locations.

"We have received several reports of criminal damage to phone masts and abuse of telecoms engineers apparently inspired by crackpot conspiracy theories circulating online," a spokeswoman for the Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport told the BBC.

We will have this pandemic under control once we have destroyed all the 5G masts.

[Don Rumata]

WFH people, how often do you go out for groceries? I try to keep it at less than once per 2 weeks, but i'm tempted to go more than that when some superficial shit runs dry. 

I got kids and wanted to keep up once every 2 weeks but that’s just not possible with kids and milk so once a week for me

Yeah once a week seems to be a standard for most people.
I guess i'm just being a bit paranoid, even though with all the measure super markets are taking right now, if you're careful you should be pretty safe.

[Madrun Badrun]

I'm at about once a week.  Think I've been out 4 times in 4 weeks and i will need to go out next weekend for toilet paper and coke. 

[Nintex]

Here's some motivational tips for those going through corona struggles right now

Eating/food
- You need to eat to stay healthy and fit. Just gather your ingredients first, it'll make you hungry just looking at them!

Cleaning/clothes
- Imagine that a hot nurse/doctor will show up at your door and drag your ass to quarantine soon, oh shit, better clean your house bro and put on some nice clothes.
Also if you have art and deep thoughts posters now is the time to put it on the wall. They will understand that it is important to save the Socrates of our times.
You don't want her/him to think you've been living like an animal with a stained shirt and crusty underwear do you?

Grooming/personal hygiene/exercise
- At some point they're going to run out of beds, you're in a room with a dozen fat boomers, who do they save? Well, first the 10/10's obviously but who are you kidding, they won't be put in the room with 'options'.
The somewhat cute (maybe chubby) boi/girl gets a leg up over the fat smelly annoying boomers! Make sure you look like you deserve that beautiful ventilator.

Plan
- Stay in control yourself and make a 'oh shit I'm going to the ICU' plan. It'll make your more accepting of your fate.
Pack a bag with some spare clothes, a toothbrush and books(!). You may never know when your time comes but you can be prepared for it!
Again your coolness and smarts will impress the people who decide if you live or die. "Wow they packed books, they's a scholar!"
Also make sure you have your playlist ready for prime time. It needs to have sad, yet uplifting music to make them feel like they are saving you.

Videogames/movies
- You might not be in the mood to do anything, just put up some trailers it'll get you in the mood and otherwise you've enjoyed yourself with some cool trailers!

Going outside
- Imagine that if you go outside you die, which is probably true. Imagine that the outside world is Metal Gear Solid.
If anyone gets too close they spot you so you'd better sneak around them, keep your distance and make it to the cashier who's Meryl or Grey Fox.
Safe to talk to yes, but still not sure if can be trusted.

[mormapope]

Seeing how nervous you guys get about going to grocery store once or twice a week, imagine how I and others must feel about spending 5 days a week, weekends included, in these shitholes 

[team filler]

[VomKriege]

So the supervisor for the Health Regional Agency of the French Great East said in a Q&A that the never ending ongoing reforms to close beds and reduce the workforce were still going as planned ASAP. The mayor of Nancy took exception with that, as did several other elected officials and citizens. French Health Minister had to come out and say that "of course" all reforms were suspended and to be re-evaluated.

[team filler]

Seeing how nervous you guys get about going to grocery store once or twice a week, imagine how I and others must feel about spending 5 days a week, weekends included, in these shitholes 

he really is our alpha 

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/MarlowNYC/status/1246845144562913280

[Nintex]

https://twitter.com/MarlowNYC/status/1246845144562913280

I'm glad that The Daily Beast agrees that the Trump family should run things and not the church of Scientology 

[bluemax]

WFH people, how often do you go out for groceries? I try to keep it at less than once per 2 weeks, but i'm tempted to go more than that when some superficial shit runs dry. 

I haven't done a full grocery run since before the safer at home measure was put in place. I went to the store last weekend to go to the pharmacy and grabbed milk while I was there. My milk is almost gone, so I probably will go out for that at some point today. My roommate (before she absconded to the desert) who cooks more had made a big run mid week, but she went to a smaller health food grocery store that had pretty serious measures in place. I have also been getting produce deliveries from Imperfect Foods which has limited my need to get stuff as well. I actually have enough produce that I'll probably skip this week.

Seeing how nervous you guys get about going to grocery store once or twice a week, imagine how I and others must feel about spending 5 days a week, weekends included, in these shitholes 

I've had a few moments where I impulse wanted some food item I don't have and I immediately ruled out going to the store not to protect myself but because it feels wrong to up the exposure risk to the people working there just because I want some tortilla chips.

[VomKriege]

https://twitter.com/sarahkliff/status/1246849735534809088

Stating the obvious but it needs to be said.

[team filler]

but how many lives have been saved by the coronavirus?

[bork]

WFH people, how often do you go out for groceries? I try to keep it at less than once per 2 weeks, but i'm tempted to go more than that when some superficial shit runs dry. 

Once a week.  Two weeks ago, we went to the supermarket closest to us on a Thursday afternoon and it was pretty normal.  Friday, we went to another supermarket in a slightly-busier area around 12 and while not really crowded, the place had already been cleaned out and some things were gone.  So we're going to only stick with the local place and go mid-week from now on.

[Madrun Badrun]

[Pennywise]

[team filler]

the whites find another excuse for abandoning their elders 

[Tripon]

Did once every couple of days just to check if supplies were ever in. I was able to find gloves, but no masks. At this point, I'm checking maybe once a week.

[Akala]

the whites find another excuse for abandoning their elders 

I’ve been doing it for years. 

[kingv]

Seeing how nervous you guys get about going to grocery store once or twice a week, imagine how I and others must feel about spending 5 days a week, weekends included, in these shitholes 

Bruv, you can catch corona from anal sex.

[VomKriege]

Sunday figures so heh but all the daily numbers are decreasing in France.

[Madrun Badrun]

Another bad day for Canada, and thus the world.

[james]

I was planning on going to whole foods yesterday at 740, right before they closed to avoid crowds but they close at 7pm now wtf.

I made it on time and the cash register girl was super hot. I wanted to take off her n95 mask and give her sweet passionate kisses

[VomKriege]

The hospital ship sent to NYC was supposed to be for non-COVID patients but they already have been compromised. It was probably a fool's errand to believe you could guarantee that but heh...
More doctors cannot hurt anyway.

[Madrun Badrun]

I was planning on going to whole foods yesterday at 740, right before they closed to avoid crowds but they close at 7pm now wtf.

I made it on time and the cash register girl was super hot. I wanted to take off her n95 mask and give her sweet passionate kisses

I'm guessing she was born after the need for pox parties. 

[Madrun Badrun]

Think the Queen is finally going to tell us about the lizard people.  She has nothing to lose at this point. 

[Pennywise]

https://twitter.com/michellevermaak/status/1246507067487268869

[Madrun Badrun]

Ok the second one was good

[Madrun Badrun]

Also, the CBC seems to be accurately reporting Ontario deaths about a day before the government site.  Pretty surprised they can do this well.   

[Madrun Badrun]

The segway to the lizard people is going to be awkward after all this virus talk.

edit:  that was a letdown

[james]

I was planning on going to whole foods yesterday at 740, right before they closed to avoid crowds but they close at 7pm now wtf.

I made it on time and the cash register girl was super hot. I wanted to take off her n95 mask and give her sweet passionate kisses

I'm guessing she was born after the need for pox parties.

College chick for sure

 

[team filler]

https://twitter.com/SDSheriff/status/1246336086592258049

we can't park and sit in our cars at the beach now? 

[Nintex]

Here's some Dutch Directness from our Attorney General 

https://twitter.com/SBergsma/status/1246764727793061889

spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Hey look three chicks"

"Having a pick nick, very good"

"Remember to keep your distance"

"Now you can't tell each other so many secrets"

"Nice hair band"

"We're going to arrest some more people"

[close]

[Raist]

edit:  that was a letdown

What the fuck were you expecting

[Coffee Dog]

I'm still working through a several month supply non perishables from before shit hit the fan. Definitely wish i bought more spices though, cooking is getting repetetive and my options only dwindle over time.

I want to go get shit that I havent had in a while like eggs or meat but I don't have too many options around that aren't swamped with people. Walmart is forcing people to stand in line outside the store now, so that place is off the cards. What's the point?

[Madrun Badrun]

A tit flash and lizard people at least.

[VomKriege]

Daniel Ortega, President of Nicaragua, hasn't been seen in public for three weeks allegedly... I'm sure you can imagine the rumors making the rounds.

[Don Rumata]

Daniel Ortega, President of Nicaragua, hasn't been seen in public for three weeks allegedly... I'm sure you can imagine the rumors making the rounds.

That he got an early copy of FFVII?

[VomKriege]

BoJo hospitalized "out of caution".

[thisismyusername]

BoJo's Hospital Adventure: Part-1 Brxit Crusader

ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ

[Madrun Badrun]

"Boy, I sure do love living in Canada which is way better than our Southern neighbor at social welfare!"

https://twitter.com/tyelland/status/1246666642991378434

(Image removed from quote.)

The difference is, I'm pretty sure the government underestimated the number of people who would not be covered by CERB, rather than willful neglect and I'd expect this to be rectified and post-dated now that it become a known issue (people were really just figuring out the details last week, and I just heard of the 1/3 not being covered about Friday).  Also, the people making up this group seem to be long-term unemployed and students.  Not saying that they are not in critical need of income but my guess is they are in less need than people who have an unexpected loss of income because of this. 

from today https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/coronavirus/trudeau-says-help-coming-for-students-unable-to-find-summer-jobs-1.4883310

[VomKriege]

https://twitter.com/carlquintanilla/status/1246824731363487745

rough times for us all chief

https://twitter.com/mitchellvii/status/1246895031321079811

[Leadbelly]

Boris Johnson admitted to hospital as coronavirus symptoms persist

https://www.guardian-series.co.uk/news/national-news/18359974.boris-johnson-admitted-hospital-coronavirus-symptoms-persist/

[team filler]

[VomKriege]

Dubya with an unexpected fumble in his race against Trump for "Worst POTUS in living memory".

https://twitter.com/cspan/status/1246854614584082439

[ToxicAdam]

You read those anecdotal stories about people that go through this and they say there is a small window where you think you’re getting better but then it gets even worse. I bet that’s where Boris is right now.

[team filler]

https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1246900303175311360

it was carol, that bitch!

[Nintex]

I wish Boris the best but it would be a fitting end for his story arc if he didn't make it through and Gove takes over.

[Leadbelly]

You read those anecdotal stories about people that go through this and they say there is a small window where you think you’re getting better but then it gets even worse. I bet that’s where Boris is right now.

Yeah. This virus is a fucker because you know it could be really mild. And so there must be that moment where you think it's really mild and you get your hopes up, and then it crushes them. It plays games with some people.

[VomKriege]

The Navy captain Trump fired for daring to protect his sailors has tested positive

Not too surprising with, IIRC, 100 sailors out of a 4-5k crew confirmed to be infected, and by all account warships being the last place you could do social distancing in.

[team filler]

I wish Boris the best but it would be a fitting end for his story arc if he didn't make it through and Gove takes over.

[team filler]

The Navy captain Trump fired for daring to protect his sailors has tested positive

Not too surprising with, IIRC, 100 sailors out of a 4-5k crew confirmed to be infected, and by all account warships being the last place you could do social distancing in.

not to mention all the buttsex 

[Occam]

BoJo hospitalized "out of caution".

I always knew there was something wrong with him. Now do the same with Trump.

[Pennywise]

https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1246902298179182597

RIP

[Madrun Badrun]

Turns out it was the big cats who were most vulnerable all along. 

[VomKriege]

The Navy captain Trump fired for daring to protect his sailors has tested positive

Also to be honest it's a bit unfair to pin that one on Donald (maybe I missed some info about that ?). Seems more like he got shitcanned because he made the big honchos above him look bad even if he wasn't the one who leaked his memo and that it was already publicised the carrier would port because Corona. The Milboys will correct me if I'm wrong but that's the military way, always and everywhere. I don't think Trump give a rat's ass about micromanaging who is captaining the ships.

[team filler]

https://twitter.com/alfonslopeztena/status/1246578704370802689

[team filler]

the cosmic gays are not putting up with any of this foolishness in 2020, y'all