Slayven, you can still be friends with all those people without being a glorified dead potato and scum enabler as a mod. It sounds a little disingenuous to say “I love this guys” and trying being humble when you would have been stripped of thread making privileges years ago if you weren’t a mod. A lot of stuff they have said and done has been vile and not exactly “just fun or games”. And even then, you guys are not unscathed given how Nephente seems to be traumatized.
If you were in that deep end, sell your comic collection (if you have one) and get a real therapist. Friends are cool and all, but it can backfire if they just enable just worst instincts or, worse, use you.