ah, fuck it. i really hate this shit but i'm also a whore! that should be #1.
#2) My dad
might be Peter Cetera.
#3) I was an extra on Falcon Crest.
#4) I was born with a heart murmur. I had open heart surgery to repair aortic stenosis when I was 11 years old. I might never have had to have that surgery, but a Navy doctor misdiagnosed my rhumatic fever as chicken pox when I was 10, which caused my heart murmur - a hole in the heart, basically - to turn into a fucking RIP in my heart. Luckily I had one of the best surgeons at UCSF perform my surgery and even today, with my high blood pressure having ass (what a surprise!), doctors marvel at how good my heart looks. w00t
#5) my first crush was on Mary Lou Retton
#6) my mom was a Playboy bunny
#7) I was on a spinoff of Starcade called "The Video Game"; it was horrible and fucking JM Productions, makers of Starcade and The Video Game, claim to have lost my tape in a fire. Probably a good thing because I was as nerdlinger as you can get, whoooo boy (but I was 12!)
#8) I would've lost my virginity to a fat girl with huge boobs when I was 16 or so, but my mom saw her at a football game and said "you have a crush on a fattie?". Which caused me to wait three more years to lose my virginity, and totally fuel the fires of my titty fetish
#9) I probably would've lost my virginity when I was 12 or so if I liked black chicks. But, again, my mom threatened me with a "if you ever bring anyone but a white girl home, we'll disown you" speech when I was like four or so and then every year after that so that's why I don't like anyone but white chicks (however, Halle and Salma could get every inch of my love)
#10) I shot a man in Brooklyn just to watch him die.
One of these is false, y'all