I'm pretty sure that no one has ever liked me from the start.
If you go in thinking youre going to lose - then you're going to lose. Separate yourself from the social expectations and change your mind set on how youre going to socialise with people. Sure meeting people in crowded public places isn't for them, but what if it was a houseparty with a bunch of people you dont know? or any social situation where you dont know the other people? Or rather - how do you know you dont like those situations if youve never had a truly successful one (I guess thats a large assumption on my part)
It's easy to stick with the devil you know rather than the devil you don't, even if you try to socialise, and fail because of your pre-conceieved notion on how others perceive you, it sucks, but its an easier to pill to swallow than actually having to put yourself out there. When that girl asked you why you seem so unfriendly, shes asking you why are you afraid to come out of your shell?
Trust me, ive been there, people can pick up your emotional state because you act it out subconsciously, even if you try to beat our social anxiety if you cant believe and trust in your own mind that you can do it - people, especially women, will sense it and it will be an ever-lasting snowball clusterfuck of disappointment.
Youre going to have to put faith in yourself and other people, and learn to enjoy being around people irregardless of the situation. That is what is really important, no matter where you go, the people.
You've probably heard fake it til you make it - while I understand why its phrased that way. I fucking hate it being called that. My mate suffers from severe social anxiety, to the point he cant ask a dj to put on a song in a bar. He came across youtube videos that said fake it til you make it, and got super fucking depressed because he doesnt want to be 'fake'.
The reason I hate that shit is because its more complicated than that, the things we tell ourselves mentally affect our emotional state, you might have heard of the wolf metaphor. If you imagine two wolves in your subconscious the positive and the negative. The thoughts we have about ourselves feed one of these two wolves. When you tell yourself that you are socially anxious, that people dont like you, that you cant do this or dont like that, you are feeding the wrong wolf and that signals the subconscious to position your being to fit the mode of conscious thought. So in a way you are telling yourself to be that way, and your body is like "roger that". To be the opposite you need to feed the other wolf, the wolf that makes you better and stronger, the more you tell yourself that you can be the person you want to be, that you will be the person you want to be, your subconscious and body will respond appropriately.
https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/11/4/621/2375054 - its the reason why positive affirmations work.
Im just the forum crackpot though so do as you please.
edit: just realised this is a late reply, buttfuckit
