If you're joining us:
Dom: My wife got sick, we were worried we would end up not being able to take care of our 4yo, so we drove to my parents' place 260 miles away.
BoJo: Fatherly instincts!
Dom: Absolutely. Also, we didn't want to expose anyone in London to a potentially deadly virus. So my 17yo niece said she could take care of the kid if needed. But you know, we strictly self isolated and all that.
Journos: Multiple people saw you around Barnard Castle though. A 30mins drive from your parents' place.
Dom: Oh that. Yes akshually, a couple of days before returning to London my wife was worried about my eyesight, so we went for a test drive and somehow ended up at the castle. That was on her birthday but that's totally irrelevant. And we had the kid with us. Because my fatherly instincts told me that I should test my eyesight this way.
Dom: Also akshually my wife wasn't really sick sick, she threw up. So clearly she didn't have covid because that makes you cough and stuff, so it was OK for us to not stay at home. Don't ask me why we were worried we couldn't take care of the kid then.
Plus did I mention that I've been the target of harassment in London? So we were scared and all that. Also, my uncle died. All right I'm off, fuck you everyone!