I've been watching some Sylvester Stallone movies recently after some friends and I were trying to think of action films from the 80s and 90s that he's done that continue to hold up to date. Outside of First Blood, and arguably Rambo 2, we weren't able to come up with any.
Tango & Cash - I hadn't seen this one, and from the title card, I had the impression that this one might actually be good: Kurt Russell and Sylvester Stallone as rival cops, cracking the skulls of the criminal underground --how could this possibly be bad? Well, for one, this is NOT a thinking man's action movie. This is not the thinking man's anything. In fact, if you think about the plot of this shit for any more than a single second, your head might twist off and fall to the floor. The prison scenes, in particular, are hilariously nonsensical. There is stuff ON FIRE in the prison corridors, and the guards just stand around ignoring the chaos. Nonsense aside, there isn't much left to talk about BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH OF IT. The action is poorly directed and poorly choreographed, and Russell and Stallone have zero chemistry with one another.
Demolition Man - I think this movie might have the absolute worst cast of supporting characters ever. Rob Schneider, Sandra Bullock, Benjamin Bratt, that fat guy from Beetlejuice, and Denis Leary, whose dialogue is mostly a shitty rehash of his stand-up routine. I found myself rooting for Wesley Snipes most of the time, hoping he'd pull Bullock aside and karate chop his hand through her forehead. Sadly, it never happens. Some of the action is actually pretty well directed --the opening in particular-- but the gaps between are far too long, and filled with far too much dreck.
Please, feel free to recommend some others.
