Another batch
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What’s Eating Gilbert Grape – Let me start by saying look at that ensemble here. Just go to Wikipedia and check out who is in this movie. It’s also almost strange to remember that Johnny Depp can play a person that isn’t eccentric. And damn Leo did a really good job playing the mentally handicapped kid considering his age at the time. The little movements and habits that he keeps up throughout the film.
Johnny is I’m guessing the oldest brother of a family that is composed of a mom who is morbidly obese, two sisters, one in high school, the other probably out of high school, and then two boys. Johnny who is the oldest of the house and seems to take on the role of parent essentially and then Leo who is about to be 18, but has some kind of mental handicap that I’m not sure about. Either way he is more like a child than a teen. And this is a lot for the family to deal with. Especially Johnny cause the mom doesn’t even really play the role of the mom. She only eats and watches TV leaving Johnny to look after Leo along with the oldest sister. They all live in a house in some small midwestern town. It’s a really interesting family dynamic. You slowly uncover some of the darker truths of the family. The hopes that the family has for the future. You also have the uncertainty of the future. The movie is really delicate with how it deals with Leo’s character as well as the obese mom. You come around to having an understanding for her and how things got to this point. Cause early on I really disliked the character and thought she was an awful person, but as more is revealed you recognize that she understands how she is perceived by others. And in the jail scene you realize that she isn’t just some ballooned American with her brain shut off. She’s still a mother that has love for her child.
There’s a lot of interesting relationships in this movie that Johnny is a part of. His relationship with his mom. His relationship with his friends. His relationship with the housewife. His relationship with the store he works at and how the big “Wal-Mart” equivalent that recently moved into town is impacting everyone at the mom and pop store. His relationship with the young lady passing by with the trailer. And then finally his relationship with Leo. Very human.
On a side note, I totally thought the mom was gonna die by falling through the floor lol.
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God’s Not Dead – The liberal muslim ACLU lawyer professor meme come to life and I love it. This movie pisses me off and yet I enjoy every little bit of it. 1 out of 5 and also 5 out of 5.
There are way too many story arcs here. You have Kevin Sorbo as the philosophy teacher vs. punk ass Christian kid. You have Muslim daughter (but she’s secretly Christian!) vs. Muslim dad. You have Christian black guy with a heavy accent who wants to go to Disney World along with this white pastor vs. shitty cars that keep breaking down. Kevin Sorbo’s girlfriend being Christian vs Kevin Sorbo being an atheist. Kevin’s girlfriend has a shitty brother who is played by the guy that played Superman in that 90s tv show. So we will call him Superman. Superman is a in a relationship with some “God damn lefty journalist” who pesters these good God fearing religious right folks. So uh, These two vs. The good Christian folks? Sure.
And from here on out it’s gonna be all spoiler territory.
It’s just awesome. Not as awesome like The Room, but pretty damn close. The Muslim father is the ultimate Muslim male terrorist stereotype that the Christian white man fears. Forces his daughter to wear a head cover (not sure which one so I won’t guess). Then he finds out she is secretly a Christian and he kicks her out of the house. What a piece of shit movie preying on Christian fears of the evil middle eastern brown man. Oh well. Seems par for the course actually.
I love how the kid challenging Sorbo has the most typical southern blonde girlfriend. The kind that has their whole life planned out for the next 50 years. She probably even took those southern courses on how to be a lady or whatever. Her hair is beautiful I must say. Anyways, after she finds out that her boyfriend won’t back down and will challenge Sorbo she dumps him. Lol. Another dumb plot point for the movie. And yeah the whole Sorbo vs. Christian kid arc is exactly the 4chan meme I will leave at the bottom. Along with the dumbest arguments that somehow convince the class to in unison chant God’s Not Dead.
Meanwhile the pastor and his buddy have not 1, not 2, but 3 cars break down on them and the black guy always goes with the ol Obama Chaos Emeralds chuckle and then says with a smile, “God is good always and always God is good.” What. The. Fuck. Ah yes the master plan of having a fuckton of cars break down on you. Another brilliant plot point.
Meanwhile, the God hating lefty journalist bumps into the Duck Dynasty fuckwad and the movie makes him out to be a levelheaded man you should cheer for. Why is he even in the movie? You know what. I know why and I don’t even want to go into it. Stupid. Our lefty girl then finds out she has cancer. Superman unceremoniously dumps her at a fancy dinner because “that wasn’t part of the plan.” Wat?! You fuck. I hope Batman beats you to a pulp for the rest of eternity. Skipping ahead to the conclusion of the film, there is some Christian pop-rock band called the Newsboys who are playing at the local arena and our lefty journalist barges into their dressing room to conduct an interview. A pissed off interview cause you know, she’s dying and the last thing she can fathom is this band playing their Christian music. Well it all ends with them praying. Praying the cancer away? I don’t know, but clearly she’s a believer now. She just needed to let Christ in. Another excellent plot point.
Kevin Sorbo being the atheist prick that he is belittles his Christian girlfriend. Constantly. Then the final straw is when he embarrasses her at a home dinner in front of his other damn university lefty non-believer professors. All over the fact that she bought some wine and forgot it in the car so now it’s bad. The next day she dumps Sorbo at the university. Good for her. Sorbo was (Hercules reference coming up) DISAPOINTEEEEEEED. But tough shit.
And so it all culminates with the best scene or scenes in this movie. It’s honestly incredible how insane it all goes from this point on. The black guy with the white pastor finally get a car that works (the original car that broke down suddenly works. God works in mysterious ways. A true miracle). So they are finally off to Disney World. But they get caught in traffic cause everybody is going to the Newsboys concert. The lefty journalist. Sorbo’s ex. The Christian college kid. The exiled Muslim, now Christian girl. Even Sorobo is on his way there cause he decided he will try to reconcile his relationship. The concert is already happening when Sorbo is crossing a street and some car hits him. This is hilarious. The shot of him up in the air is something else. But things don’t look good for him. Luckily the pastor and the black guy are there to help him… wait no? Oh they are here to let him accept God before he dies. What in the hell!!!!!??? So Sorbo finally gives in and accepts Jesus Christ as his lord a savior and dies. Then these two assholes have the audacity to say “it was a good day because he accepted God and now he is enjoying himself in Heaven.” Bro I am triggered to hell by this scene. A dude just died by doing a barrel roll after getting smashed by a car, but it’s all good, actually. God is always good and always God is good tee hee I guess. Then to top off the shit sandwich we cut immediately to the concert again where on the screen they show Mr. Duck Dynasty who says “I heard dat der was a gud boy here tonight dat proved dat dumb professor wrong. Good on you young man. Anyways let’s all text every single one of our contacts in our phones the words God’s Not Dead.” I wish Bill Hicks were still alive to annihilate that Duck Dynasty dunce. Then of course the band jumps into the same named song. It’s insane. This whole damn conclusion is off its rocks and makes me sick. And by that, I mean it’s phenomenal.
Let me tell you this. If God’s not dead, after he watched this movie, I guarantee you he offed himself.
