Small nonprofits are social clubs for the local wealthy / elite with the ancillary purpose of serving the community in some manner. This is especially true in nonprofits with cabals that exercise dual power with the board of directors labeled something inaccurate like "guild" to disguise their true purpose.
The "guild" in one of the nonprofits I work with not only requires that its members produce X dollars of fundraising every year to keep their place in the cabal, but this requirement has sort of evolved into a perverse competition between its members to see who can be the bigger humanitarian or whatever fucking bullshit they tell themselves to think that they aren't LARPing the Chocolate War in late adulthood. I'm not embellishing, they campaign for dollars under "Team [Member name]." Foucault was right.t-shirt.
A member of the board and guild used to work at the nonprofit and we sort of became friends when they were trying to get a different job and dgaf about being professional anymore. We promised to keep in touch and hang out after they left but things happen and nothing ever came of that. After not talking for quite a long period of time, last year they sent me a flurry of text messages out of the blue giving me a recap of life since we'd last spoke instead of sending me a fucking email and I was just like, "I'm not going to respond to this. Someone has stop enabling this charade." No malice or anything, just sparing us something neither of us obviously wanted.
At the last event the nonprofit threw I made the mistake of approaching this person and greeting them. This wasn't actually a mistake, it's just being polite and schmoozing, but clearly my ex-associate was very
at me for blowing them off despite being just as shitty in kind and gave me a rather cold response so I term it as such for storytelling purposes.
2-3 weeks ago I got an auto-generated email from this person asking me to donate to the nonprofit through their team.
The old me would have just ignored this as someone sending an email to everyone in their contact list, but the new old me is going to donate a pitiful amount of money that will not materially aid them in winning the competition with a note that will either be politely passive aggressive or "Did I do that?" ignorant, I haven't decided which yet as I have to think about appearances and plausible deniability. (Notes to "catch up" were specifically requested in the email.)
My ex-associate is going to have to hand write me a thank you note for this shit.
Young Werthless signing off.
P.S. Don't tell me I'm being petty or w/e, that's the point and no one cares if you aren't a piece of shit like me.
