Author Topic: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening (Read 4012952 times)

Steve Contra · « **Reply #18720 on:** June 06, 2013, 03:53:59 PM »

I was just looking for the address of my accountant and found out he's a child molester

wtf

Polari · « **Reply #18721 on:** June 06, 2013, 03:56:09 PM »

Quote from: Steve Contra on June 06, 2013, 03:53:59 PM

I was just looking for the address of my accountant and found out he's a child molester

wtf

My aunty's shop is opposite the community service centre. One day she looked out and saw her accountant getting on the bus with all the miscreants.

Steve Contra · « **Reply #18722 on:** June 06, 2013, 03:59:45 PM »

I have a meeting with this guy in an hour

Polari · « **Reply #18723 on:** June 06, 2013, 04:00:52 PM »

Quote from: Steve Contra on June 06, 2013, 03:59:45 PM

I have a meeting with this guy in an hour

Are you a child? If not you're probably OK.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #18724 on:** June 06, 2013, 04:01:33 PM »

Quote from: Steve Contra on June 06, 2013, 03:53:59 PM

I was just looking for the address of my accountant and found out he's a child molester

wtf

would it be wrong to suggest bringing a child with you for eye candy and try to schmooze a discount?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #18725 on:** June 06, 2013, 04:40:12 PM »

Quote from: Steve Contra on June 06, 2013, 03:53:59 PM

I was just looking for the address of my accountant and found out he's a child molester

wtf

You know what they say, errors in calculating interest will either get you hit with fraud or statutory rape charges.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is a "joke" an accountant professor once told my class.

[close]

Rufus · « **Reply #18726 on:** June 06, 2013, 05:00:31 PM »

Quote from: macuser3of5 on June 06, 2013, 04:01:33 PM

would it be wrong to suggest bringing a child with you for eye candy and try to schmooze a discount?

God damnit.

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #18727 on:** June 06, 2013, 06:03:33 PM »

Quote from: Mr. Gundam on June 06, 2013, 02:24:39 PM

Quote from: Needs More Cowbell on June 06, 2013, 01:32:02 AM
It's probably really lame, and I don't feel like making a thread about it but I've always wanted to live in a big house with friends. I think growing up an only child made me super lonely.

I did that my last two years of college. It was fun, but I don't think I'd ever want to do it again.

I think it could work with my pals because they have a good balance of fun but focused. Most of them are working hard and then bored after work.

Polari · « **Reply #18728 on:** June 06, 2013, 06:29:05 PM »

Quote from: Needs More Cowbell on June 06, 2013, 06:03:33 PM

Quote from: Mr. Gundam on June 06, 2013, 02:24:39 PM
Quote from: Needs More Cowbell on June 06, 2013, 01:32:02 AM
It's probably really lame, and I don't feel like making a thread about it but I've always wanted to live in a big house with friends. I think growing up an only child made me super lonely.

I did that my last two years of college. It was fun, but I don't think I'd ever want to do it again.

I think it could work with my pals because they have a good balance of fun but focused. Most of them are working hard and then bored after work.

It has its upsides, but living with someone and being friends with someone are two completely different things.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #18729 on:** June 06, 2013, 06:39:31 PM »

Quote from: Steve Contra on June 06, 2013, 03:53:59 PM

I was just looking for the address of my accountant and found out he's a child molester

wtf

You were warned when he told you he was hoping to get a job from Ernest and Young.

T234 · « **Reply #18730 on:** June 06, 2013, 07:52:28 PM »

Quote from: Don Flamenco on June 06, 2013, 11:26:42 AM

by mature ladyfriend, you mean in age or personality?

Edit: Malek, do you guys have Motions In Limine in Canada?

Both. She has a self-sufficient son in his twenties.

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on June 06, 2013, 02:23:03 PM

Is she black, T234?

She is mostly white with some native american and west indian. She has a body better than most chicks in their twenties.

Eric P · « **Reply #18731 on:** June 07, 2013, 10:08:06 AM »

Dragon is really good.

It's a universe in which an a detective can use CSI like forensic investigation to determine how a fight went. I didn't like the end though.

bork · « **Reply #18732 on:** June 07, 2013, 02:11:31 PM »

My job is offering Office 2010 certification testing for free.

Just passed the Office 2010 Word Expert exam. Microsoft is going to send me a diploma!

I just like being able to go around saying "Yes, I am a Word Expert."

Even though none of the people who call us even ask us the questions they had on the exam.

Huff · « **Reply #18733 on:** June 08, 2013, 03:45:22 PM »

I leave the internet for a week only to come back to everyone I know becoming engaged. need to get out of this town

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #18734 on:** June 08, 2013, 04:30:39 PM »

One of the questions should be "It's 3am; you have a 10 page paper due at 8am. How long do you have left to goof around and watch Breaking Bad on Netflix and still be able to get a B-?"

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #18735 on:** June 08, 2013, 04:39:38 PM »

Quote from: Huff on June 08, 2013, 03:45:22 PM

I leave the internet for a week only to come back to everyone I know becoming engaged. need to get out of this town

60% divorce rate

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #18736 on:** June 08, 2013, 04:55:10 PM »

Quote from: Huff on June 08, 2013, 03:45:22 PM

I leave the internet for a week only to come back to everyone I know becoming engaged. need to get out of this town

Where are you?

Huff · « **Reply #18737 on:** June 08, 2013, 07:01:26 PM »

north florida

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #18738 on:** June 09, 2013, 02:15:06 AM »

After my date tonight, I ran into a women walking a golden-lab mix who looks exactly like my dead dog, Alex (but I had six drinks). She told me he served in the Canadian military with her. After I thanked her for her service to the country, she hit on me and called me cute (she probably had six drinks).

You can tell I was freaked out by the dog by the fact that I actually talked to a stranger.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #18739 on:** June 09, 2013, 04:27:17 AM »

draw a penis

brawndolicious · « **Reply #18740 on:** June 09, 2013, 05:23:00 AM »

Penis, ass, and vagina can all be drawn in one letter abbreviations of amino acids. I think I have a picture on my phone of this.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #18741 on:** June 09, 2013, 09:50:21 AM »

Quote from: Flannel Boy on June 09, 2013, 02:15:06 AM

After my date tonight, I ran into a women walking a golden-lab mix who looks exactly like my dead dog, Alex (but I had six drinks). She told me he served in the Canadian military with her. After I thanked her for her service to the country, she hit on me and called me cute (she probably had six drinks).

You can tell I was freaked out by the dog by the fact that I actually talked to a stranger.

Wait, did you tell her it looked like your dead dog?

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #18742 on:** June 09, 2013, 10:01:34 AM »

what show is that where the guy yells "dead dog!" to keep himself from getting a boner or something?

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #18743 on:** June 09, 2013, 03:03:59 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on June 09, 2013, 09:50:21 AM

Quote from: Flannel Boy on June 09, 2013, 02:15:06 AM
After my date tonight, I ran into a women walking a golden-lab mix who looks exactly like my dead dog, Alex (but I had six drinks). She told me he served in the Canadian military with her. After I thanked her for her service to the country, she hit on me and called me cute (she probably had six drinks).

You can tell I was freaked out by the dog by the fact that I actually talked to a stranger.
Wait, did you tell her it looked like your dead dog?

I didn't use the word "dead."

Look, they were both blonde but I was only interested in the beautiful dog.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18744 on:** June 09, 2013, 08:44:52 PM »

Huff · « **Reply #18745 on:** June 09, 2013, 09:35:13 PM »

Arvie, have you gone all the way?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18746 on:** June 09, 2013, 09:49:32 PM »

Ya. I accidentally did your mom.

Huff · « **Reply #18747 on:** June 09, 2013, 09:50:22 PM »

thats a nice hot babe to do you in. congrats

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18748 on:** June 09, 2013, 10:04:33 PM »

Ya I'll never forget the night she slipped me the gaze.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #18749 on:** June 10, 2013, 04:37:49 PM »

nah but really, what's with the sudden increase in lactation porn lately? if I may use xhamster's front page as a loose indicator of what's popular in the porn world.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18750 on:** June 10, 2013, 04:44:08 PM »

Ya why so much boob-juice stuff when we are clearly short on midget porn?

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #18751 on:** June 10, 2013, 04:47:52 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on June 10, 2013, 04:44:08 PM

Ya why so much boob-juice stuff when we are clearly short on midget porn?

that was a thing for awhile too. Used to see much more of that around in the early 00s.

Raban · « **Reply #18752 on:** June 10, 2013, 04:49:47 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on June 10, 2013, 04:44:08 PM

Ya why so much boob-juice stuff when we are clearly short on midget porn?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18753 on:** June 10, 2013, 04:50:02 PM »

Don't talk to me like I don't know about the great midget porn surplus of 00. I was there man.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18754 on:** June 10, 2013, 05:28:57 PM »

Quote from: Raban on June 10, 2013, 04:49:47 PM

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on June 10, 2013, 04:44:08 PM
Ya why so much boob-juice stuff when we are clearly short on midget porn?

Seriously. Have you ever seen a black or Asian midget in porn? I haven't. There is just too little out there to satisfy demand.

Raban · « **Reply #18755 on:** June 10, 2013, 05:30:55 PM »

~~the facepalm was directed at the awful pun in that post, but maybe it was unintentional?~~

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18756 on:** June 10, 2013, 05:35:25 PM »

I thought it was because you were pretending you weren't a tiny bit interested in some midget on human action.

Raban · « **Reply #18757 on:** June 10, 2013, 05:37:49 PM »

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18758 on:** June 10, 2013, 05:41:36 PM »

Have I offended you a teensy bit?

chronovore · « **Reply #18759 on:** June 11, 2013, 07:50:23 AM »

I think he's saying your puns didn't meet the minimum required height for this particular ride.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #18760 on:** June 11, 2013, 02:52:38 PM »

i missed the pun

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18761 on:** June 11, 2013, 03:14:09 PM »

What puns?

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #18762 on:** June 11, 2013, 07:25:52 PM »

Himuro, is this you?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18763 on:** June 11, 2013, 07:47:15 PM »

OKCupid is really working out for you Malek.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #18764 on:** June 11, 2013, 07:54:21 PM »

She didn't feel that draw, charm, endearment, or magnetism.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18765 on:** June 11, 2013, 08:08:21 PM »

You probably waited too long to mention that you were a lawyer. You can't let them form an opinion of you based on your other qualities.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #18766 on:** June 11, 2013, 08:20:22 PM »

I agree, especially since there are no other qualities.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #18767 on:** June 11, 2013, 08:21:26 PM »

Quote from: TheInfelicitousDandy on June 11, 2013, 03:14:09 PM

What puns?

they probably went over your head.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

$:-\$

[close]

Groogrux · « **Reply #18768 on:** June 11, 2013, 11:10:16 PM »

This is all starting to be a little too much.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #18769 on:** June 12, 2013, 01:00:12 AM »

i tried to think of a pun to keep this going, but came up short

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #18770 on:** June 12, 2013, 01:02:26 AM »

Enough of this; let's go back to our regular small talk.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #18771 on:** June 12, 2013, 01:53:41 AM »

that's a pretty

ahem

*taps mic*

tall order

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

chronovore · « **Reply #18772 on:** June 12, 2013, 03:07:42 AM »

Not bad; that pun dwarfs all the others.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #18773 on:** June 12, 2013, 03:08:50 AM »

The Sceneman · « **Reply #18774 on:** June 12, 2013, 05:11:33 AM »

just heading out to Lil B concert

Eric P · « **Reply #18775 on:** June 12, 2013, 06:53:38 AM »

he plays live here in a few weeks

i can't wait

The Sceneman · « **Reply #18776 on:** June 12, 2013, 08:30:41 AM »

Lil B was fucking awesome!

He did some pretty good freestyle:

"I'm Scotty Pippen, I stay in New Zealand"

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #18777 on:** June 12, 2013, 08:47:07 AM »

Quote from: The Sceneman on June 12, 2013, 05:11:33 AM

just heading out to Lil B concert

Okay, enough with the short jokes, guys.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #18778 on:** June 12, 2013, 12:43:58 PM »

Good I've hated work this week. Java

Eric P · « **Reply #18779 on:** June 12, 2013, 12:49:21 PM »

this is awesome. I was just offered the Impose Radio Show to run / DJ etc. I've filled in a few times but they would like for me to do it going forward.

News:

Author Topic: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening (Read 4012952 times)